love is hard

Chapter 3.

"Get up quickly," Qiu Ye straightened up, gently helped Shi Shu up, and said worriedly, "Why do you have a fever?"

"It's cold." Shi Shu smiled, got out of bed, and dragged him out slowly, "Why do you think of cooking for me?"

"I came back to see that you were asleep, so I didn't bother you," Qiu Ye touched his forehead, "It's not so hot anymore, have you taken your medicine?"

"Eat," Shi Shu nodded, "What did you do?"

"I boiled some porridge with vegetables and lean meat," Qiu Ye walked into the kitchen, "Eat something light when you have a fever. There are also fried rice stems and broccoli, all of which are vegetarian."

Shi Shu leaned against the door frame, watched him take the bowl and chopsticks back and forth, and slowly showed a faint smile.

He didn't know if it was astringent with sweetness, or sweet with astringency.

"Eat more," Qiu Ye kept adding vegetables to his bowl, "You've lost weight."

"Did you go to the supermarket?" Shi Shu asked him.

"Yeah," Qiu Ye nodded vaguely, stuffing rice into his mouth, "I think the refrigerator is empty."

Shi Shu sighed secretly, and asked him, "When will you rest? I don't have to go to work tomorrow."

"We..." Qiu Ye thought for a moment, "I guess it will be noon tomorrow, and we will be thirty the day after tomorrow."

"Then let's go out for a walk tomorrow." Shi Shu stirred the porridge in the bowl, pretending to speak in a normal tone, "Buy something, it's Chinese New Year, and there is nothing at home."

Qiu Ye didn't answer, she was absent-minded as if she didn't hear, she just kept eating with her head down.

"What's wrong?" Shi Shu looked at him.

"Xiao Shu, I..." Qiu Ye raised his head, his eyes dodged, and he hesitated, "I... plan to go home tomorrow, but my mother keeps calling me, I don't know why..."

Shi Shu stopped the movement of his hands, forced himself to ask him calmly, "Go back to the blind date?"

"No," Qiu Ye said hastily, "If you don't go on a blind date, just deal with my mother, and if you haven't gone back for two years, they are also worried."

"I haven't been home for two years," Shi Shu said softly, "Aren't I worried?"

"Then how about..." Qiu Ye put down his chopsticks, squeezed his hand lightly, and tentatively said, "You will also go home this year, if you have conflicts, you can't stay away for the rest of your life. If you’re going, I’ll book tickets now, try to come back after the third year of junior high school, and then we’ll celebrate the New Year together, okay?”

"My parents are not at home during Chinese New Year," Shi Shu withdrew his hand, "I won't go back either."

"Xiaoshu, don't be like this," Qiu Ye went to touch his hand again, "I know you're upset, but I'll definitely be back on the fourth day of the junior high..."

"Qiu Ye!" Shi Shu kicked the bench and stood up, suppressing the anger in his heart, trying not to shout out, "You told me not to do this, what's wrong with me? I'm not unhappy, you want to go home! Blind date! You can do anything! I just, just want you to give me an answer."

Qiu Ye didn't speak, and looked at him with a frown, as if he didn't know what to say, Shi Shu continued, "When are you going to tell your parents about us?"

Qiu Ye sighed lowly, stood up and took his hand, and whispered in an evasive voice: "It's not that I won't say it, I just don't think it's necessary. Aren't we doing well now? I didn't intend to, and I won't." Marry someone else, I just want to have a good time with you."

It was these perfunctory rhetoric again, and Shi Shu felt that he was tired of listening to it. It was fine before, and he just felt helpless after listening to it, but now there is only a deep sense of powerlessness left.

They have to be like this for the rest of their lives, avoiding the eyes of many people, and having an unsightly relationship, they spend their whole lives like this, even the closest relatives have to hide it.

Without blessing, there can be no understanding.

"Very good?" Shi Shu smiled bitterly, and took a step back, "You can tell me where? I watched your parents introduce you one after another and force you to get married. Do you know how scared I am? I'm afraid that one day you'll be bored, tired, and compromised. Last year, your parents came to visit you, and you asked me to go out to avoid it. For the New Year's Eve, what kind of happy New Year's Eve dinner for the whole family, I don't even have a place to stay None, I don’t dare to stay in my own home, but I have to be outside to suffer from the cold. What about this year? That’s right, they won’t come this year, so I don’t have to go out, but now you tell me you’re going home.” Shu Shu closed his eyes, and then said, "You know what? Counting this year, I have been alone on New Year's Eve for four consecutive years. In the first year, I went on a business trip and didn't come back. Later, we both went home separately. But you didn’t even enter the house. Do you know this? You asked me why I haven’t contacted my family for the past two years. Parents confessed, I said I..."

"Stop talking," Qiu Ye hugged him, "Stop talking about Xiaoshu, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

"I said I will never get married in this life," Shi Shu let him hug him, and continued with a trembling voice, "Whether they can do it or not, I don't care, I just have you, I know you Afraid, afraid that my parents will be sad, I am also afraid, but what can I do? What can I do?"

Qiu Ye hugged Shi Shu's trembling body, his heart was twisted into a ball, but he didn't know what else to say, so he could only hold him tightly like this, and kept apologizing.

"Do you have to go back?" Shi Shu leaned wearily on his shoulder, his voice hoarse.

"I'm sorry," Qiu Ye didn't know how many times he said sorry in one night, he felt a little ridiculous, "I've already agreed, but I promise you, I will come back early in the fourth day of junior high school, and the third day is also fine, as for others As you know, my dad is sick this winter, and his health is not very good. I don’t want to provoke him, and we can discuss it when he gets better, okay?"

Shi Shu slowly opened him, took a deep breath, calmed down quickly, did not speak, just stared at him, his eyes were a little red.

Qiu Ye didn't know what he meant, and felt a little uneasy: "What's wrong with you? Talk."

Shi Shu still looked at him, looked at him, and suddenly laughed. He laughed for a long time before stopping, and said in a soft voice, "You said last night that I was not like this before. Do you remember what I was like before?" Shi Shu Shu smiled, recalled slowly, only to realize that he remembered all these clearly, "At that time, I was annoying you so much, but you kept walking around me, I could see you everywhere, not only you, As soon as the people around saw me, they asked, "Where is your apprentice, Shi Shu?" I thought at the time, do you have some magical powers, otherwise you will be seen everywhere, why would I want to see you? Sometimes I can see it when I look up, but then I feel more and more strange, not because you are so good at sex, but because when did I actually want to see you, not only want to see you, but also want to hear you twittering next to me Noisy me, I didn't expect it, I got used to it..."

Qiu Ye didn't speak, but felt his nose sore. He clenched his fists and closed his eyes.

How could he not remember?He has never liked someone that much before, so how could he not be unforgettable?

"I used to be such a tough person," Shi Shu smiled softly, but his bright eyes dimmed a bit, "I can't stand my anger, and my heart is also high. If you don't accept me, I will let you submit. I never admit defeat, and I don't know What is tolerance, I never look forward or backward when I do anything, my mother said since I was a child that I have a way, be decisive, and don't let them worry about it, but I still... I let them worry about it, and after I have you, I worry more without knowing it , I hesitate to do anything, afraid that you will be unhappy, afraid that you will think too much, afraid that you will worry, always feel that you will become indecisive, but there is no way, if you have someone you like, you will have a weakness, always want to I want to think about the other party, and I am willing to change for the other party. You say I have changed, but think about it too. I am becoming more and more narrow-minded, and I like to think blindly. I scare myself. How decisive I was before, how come I am like this now..."

"Xiao Shu..." Qiu Ye slowly walked over to hug him, and squeezed his back tightly. He was afraid that Shi Shu would make a big scene with him, but he was also afraid... that he would be confused like this, "I……"

"Stop talking," Shi Shu interrupted him, gently pushed him away, touched his face, and said softly, "You go home, what time is the ticket tomorrow?"

"Nine o'clock in the evening." Qiu Ye looked at him with little confidence, "Don't be angry, I will definitely hurry back early."

"I'll wait for you." Shi Shu touched the corner of his eyes and said with a smile.

Qiu Ye hugged him and moved to the sofa, gently wiped away the tears on his face: "When will you and your parents..."

"The year before last," Shi Shu lowered his head, his tone a little helpless, "When they asked, I just said it in passing, and I wasn't prepared."

"They...what's their reaction?" Qiu Ye felt flustered and didn't dare to hear the answer that frightened him.

"No response," Shi Shu pretended to smile relaxedly, "I had a fight, and I'm still frozen, it's nothing, well, don't ask, I don't want to talk about it, it's a waste of time, I still... have something to do .”

"What's the matter?" Qiu Ye looked at him in confusion.

"What do you think?" Shi Shu hooked the corner of his mouth, turned around and kissed his lips.