I lost my memory after throwing the ball and running over the total crematorium

Chapter 76

After staying in the hospital for observation for a week, He Jingnian was discharged.His postoperative recovery went smoothly, and he can already walk on the ground and do some normal exercises appropriately.

In the room prepared for the second baby at home, the crib, plush toys and small clothes were all put away by Yuan Cisheng before he came home.

Before he knew it, Yuan Cisheng worked with him to furnish this warm hut with a look of anticipation.Now, he tidied it up neatly and thoroughly, for fear that there would be something left to arouse his sadness.

Resolute, correct and efficient are indeed Yuan Cisheng's style of doing things.

For the next month, He Jingnian didn't go anywhere and followed the doctor's advice to recuperate at home.Yuan Cisheng put aside all the work at hand and stayed by his side all the time.The two of them would only go out when picking up cakes, sending their daughter to kindergarten in the morning and picking her up in the afternoon.

Gao Gao was too young, and the original speech didn't want her to be sad, so he just told her vaguely that the little sister she was thinking of might not be able to come to this house for the time being.

The little girl seemed to understand, but she could tell that even though Dad and Daddy seemed innocent on the surface, when they were together, they were no longer as happy as before.She knew that it was hard for her father and daddy to get back together, and it was also hard for her family to become complete.If Dad and Daddy were unhappy, she might lose them again.

So, she tried her best to make the two adults laugh together with her little rabbit Lionia.The teacher said that a smile can dispel the haze in the heart. No matter when you encounter angry or sad things, just smile and your mood will become clear again.

However, no matter how hard she tried, neither Dad nor Daddy could be happy.They still play with themselves, tell stories to themselves, and take themselves to buy all kinds of beautiful clothes and shoes, but their eyes are always dark and they lose their real smiles.

She had something on her mind, even Xiao Qingqing found out.

At noon that day, when the children were having lunch, Xiao Qingqing lingered hesitantly beside her for a long time, finally came over slowly, squeezed Jiang Di who was sitting next to her away, and put a box of A strawberry cream cake was placed in front of her.

She politely declined, "Thank you, but I feel so sad that I can't eat anything."

Xiao Qingqing was stunned, as if she didn't expect that there would be times when she couldn't eat the cake.

In the handicraft class in the afternoon, the teacher taught everyone to fold small handmade flowers. The folded small flowers can be strung together with thin threads to make beautiful small flower necklaces.Usually, when the teacher distributes handmade materials, Xiao Qingqing always compares with her to see who gets the most beautiful colored paper.But today, she pushed all the prettiest colorful papers in front of her, turned her head and said, "Give it to you."

Seeing that she was still unhappy, Xiao Qingqing seemed very disappointed.However, she quickly cheered up, and together with her, she folded many small flowers and strung them into a long necklace.

Holding the necklace, she said a little puzzled: "You gave me all the little flowers, and you don't have the little flower necklace yourself."

Xiao Qingqing snorted, "I don't care about it." Then he murmured in a very low voice, "I originally wanted to give it to you."

Holding the string of colorful small flower necklaces, she thanked earnestly: "Thank you, Xiao Qingqing."

Xiao Qingqing blushed, turned around and ran away.

She carefully put the necklace into her small schoolbag, and kept the schoolbag carefully on her chest on the way home.At night, when Yuan Cisheng and He Jingnian surrounded her bed as usual, telling her stories and coaxing her to sleep, she solemnly took out the necklace hidden under the pillow.

The necklace was strung together with a lot of small flowers, long enough to be worn on the necks of Yuan Cisheng and He Jingnian.

"Father, Daddy, Xiao Qingqing, Jiang Di and I folded this in the handicraft class. The teacher said that it is a happy flower." The little girl's eyes were round, and the black and bright pupils showed Very serious look. "Look, we all have so much happiness to spend, so don't be sad anymore, okay?"

Gao Gao didn't know if her wish had come true, but that night, her father and daddy both shed tears at the same time.It's okay for them to cry by themselves, and weep together with her in their arms, Lyonia's rabbit fur is all wet.

However, since then, Dad and Daddy seem to have changed back to the past. At least Daddy will not hide in the bathroom and cry secretly, and Dad will not stand silently outside all the time, with his head bowed, like them. A child who has done something wrong in the class and is waiting to be criticized by the teacher.

The worry hidden in her little heart finally faded a little.Although she still sometimes feels that there seems to be a little difference between Dad and Daddy, but she can't feel what is different.Things about adults are really too complicated. The only thing she hopes is that her father and daddy can stay together forever and never separate or leave her again.

Spring is almost over, and there are a few muffled thunder rolling in the depths of the sky, brushing across the skyline of the city, and heavy rain pouring down.

The hot and humid summer in Chuanyuan City is about to begin again.

There have been several heavy rains in succession these days, and it was not until today that the weather finally cleared up.In the early summer season, large groups of golden sunshine bloomed in the sky, with a smoky heat, but not too hot, the original voice asked whether to go to the beach for a few days.

When Gao Gao heard this, she immediately shouted happily: "Go!" She was already bored and wanted to go out to play.Yuan Ci smiled and touched his daughter's head, looked up at He Jingnian who was sitting aside, "Niannian, do you want to go?"

He Jingnian didn't respond, and when he asked again, he came back to his senses like waking up from a dream, "Okay...Okay."

Gao Gao climbed onto He Jingnian, "Daddy is in a daze again, why is Daddy always in a daze recently?"

He Jingnian smiled, "Daddy has encountered some small problems at work recently, so he needs to think about it often."

Gao Gao raised her face and asked, "What about now? Have Daddy's problems been solved?"

He Jingnian kissed her, hugged her and said: "With the cake here, everything will be fine, everything will be smooth." He turned his head, looked at the original voice who had been watching him, smiled, and said: "I I am also looking forward to going to the beach, and hope that the weather will be good in those few days.”

The original speech was taken aback, since the day of the operation, He Jingnian has never smiled again.After he was discharged from the hospital, no matter how hard I tried to make him happy, he remained indifferent.

"Do you want to go to the Maldives or Tahiti? The Bahamas is also good, where you can see pink sand beaches by the seaside of the capital, which has always been very popular on the Internet..."

"Let's go to the one on the outskirts of the city." He Jingnian said, "GaoGao and their kindergarten spring outing went there before, but that time GiaoGao didn't make it because of a cough, and I always think about it."

The beach on the outskirts of Chuanyuan City is a man-made beach, and the green space is also man-made. There is no threshold for a ticket of dozens of yuan, and there are so many people. What if we bump into each other?

The original voice couldn't help but frowned slightly, "Is Tahiti bad? I've asked Secretary Jin to book the St. Regis Hotel over there. The floor of the room is glass, and you can see manta rays and baby sharks. You Isn't He Gaogai the favorite animal?"

He Jingnian looked at him, "But now we only want to go to the beach on the outskirts of the city, do you have to insist?"

Yuan Ci's palms on his knees tightened, "Okay, I'll listen to you."

The small dispute before the departure did not seem to affect the good mood of the whole family.The voice of Yuan Ci watched the movement behind through the rearview mirror, He Jingnian and Gao Gao were happily teasing Snoopy, the dog was barking, and the little girl was giggling.

It looked the same as every time I went out to play.

This beach is not as bad as imagined, with the same golden fine sand, the same blue sea and blue sky, the sea breeze blows the damp and salty breath, and the vivid taste of summer.

Yuan Cisheng went to the canteen to buy iced fruits and drinks. He Jingnian likes grape ice hockey, and cake soda with strawberry flavor. The cold and sweet cold drink is shaken in a plastic bag, and the cool water vapor seeps out layer.

The weather was hot, and things would be ice-free soon, so he quickened his pace and walked back.Under the parasol, He Jingnian and Gao Gao disappeared.He was slightly dizzy, sweating coldly under the sun, and when he turned his gaze, he realized that they were actually not far away, and the two of them were building a sandcastle.

Cake has small hands, and the chubby hands can only hold a little bit of sand at a time, but she is not in a hurry, and slowly builds her own castle.He Jingnian helped her from the side, gently holding those small round hands covered with sand in his palms, and together, the two of them built the city walls and towers bit by bit...

Yuan Cisheng stood there watching for a long time, until the iced drink in his hand became warm.He Jingnian raised his head and saw him standing there, his expression of smiling when he was playing with his daughter was frozen in silence for a moment.But he quickly returned to normal and asked him, "Would you like to build a sandcastle together?"

The original voice finally passed by.

The three of them built a big and beautiful sandcastle together.GaoGao twittered endlessly, very happy.He Jingnian's eyes were glued to his daughter all the time, and he just played around with her, not even noticing that his arms were covered with sand.

Yuan Cisheng took out a wet towel and took his hand, trying to wipe off the sand.He Jingnian's wrist struggled slightly, but he let him hold it afterwards.

"Thank you." He said to the original words.

The voice of the original speech tightly held the wet wipes covered with sand into balls in the palm of his hand, "You're welcome."

In the evening, the temperature suddenly dropped a lot, and the night wind blew on my body slippery, not cold, warm and cool, very comfortable.

There are some small stalls near the beach, selling barbecue snacks, light-emitting toys, and several stalls selling a kind of fireworks called sparklers. All playing there.

GaoGao liked it at first glance, and shook Yuan Cisheng's sleeve, wanting to buy it too.However, Yuan Cisheng, the father who has always loved his daughter so much and wanted the stars but not the moon, was silent about the fireworks sticks that cost a few dollars a handful.

He Jingnian bought one and held his daughter's hand, "Come on, let's find a place with fewer people."

"Yeah!" GaoGao smiled happily, and the other chubby hand took Yuan Cisheng's hand, "Dad, let's set off the fireworks!"

Yuan Ci's voice shook his whole body, and he slowly came back to his senses, looking down at his daughter's cute little face, "Okay."

The three of them found a relatively empty beach, and the palm trees rattled in the wind, intertwined with the soft sound of the sea surface, forming an extraordinarily gentle and quiet summer night tune.

He Jingnian lit a sparkler for his daughter, "Take it down, be careful."

The flashes of lightning danced and crackled, shining black and brightly, brighter than the stars in the sky.A gentle smile appeared on the corners of He Jingnian's lips, and he rubbed his daughter's little head, "There are also some children playing with fireworks over there, do you want to join them?"

GaoGao covered her little mouth and smiled secretly, "Daddy wants to whisper to Dad, I know."

Looking at his daughter's bouncing back, He Jingnian slowly pulled out a firework stick and handed it to Yuan Cisheng.The original voice hesitated for a moment, but still took it.

He Jingnian squatted, Yuan Cisheng stood, and the two of them stared at the burning firework sticks in their hands, silent.Until one burnt out and the ashes fell to the ground like a black caterpillar.

It was like a dream that was forced to come to an end when the dawn broke.

He Jingnian took out another one, lit it, and stretched out his hand to pass it up.This time, after several seconds passed, the original voice did not answer.He Jingnian raised his head, looking at the calm and pale face through the bright and shining fire flower.In the continuously gushing golden red shavings, this face is as beautiful as a fleeting dream bubble.

"It was a pity that I couldn't set off fireworks with you that winter." He Jingnian said softly.

The light of the fireworks dimmed for a moment, and Yuan Cisheng's expression suddenly darkened.

"That's also impossible."

"why?"

"There is no dream that does not wake up. It was like this at the beginning, and it is still like this now." Yuan Cisheng stared at the firework stick, another one burned out, and the ashes fell to the ground. "It's the same for you, and it's the same for me."

He Jingnian didn't respond, and after a while, he stood up and said: "I guess Gaogui has almost finished playing, I'll go and call her back."

"Every year."

The original voice stopped him.

He Jingnian stopped and didn't look back.

"I'm not him anymore. No matter how unwilling you are, it's impossible for him to come back."

He Jingnian was still motionless, so frozen that he was about to melt into the night.

"I always thought that there was nothing I couldn't do in this world. I thought that as long as I worked hard enough, I would be able to realize any wish for you. But it turns out that I was wrong."

The original speech took a deep breath, as if to say some important decision that had been brewing for a long time, but what finally appeared on his face was a sad and relieved smile.

"I can't change back to the person you love, and the past time can't be reversed, no matter how much I think about it."

He Jingnian's finger bones moved slightly, and then he clenched into a fist.

"Of course you can't change back to Liao Xia, how can you be like him." He slowly turned around, "Liao Xia is very pious and will not deceive."

The eyelashes of the original speech trembled, "What do you mean?"

"How did that child get here, don't you know?" He Jingnian raised his hand to caress his lower abdomen, "You brought me the medicine. That's not the medicine I begged you to buy, right?"

"Yes!" The Adam's apple rolled in the original speech, exuding a low hoarse trill, "If I could do it all over again, I would still make the same choice. I have thought about the consequences a long time ago, if you hate me after knowing the truth, then I will I beg you to forgive me. If you want me to die for my sins, death is not difficult."

"I didn't blame you for this." He Jingnian interrupted, "I said that the child is our child, and if there is a mistake, it is also the fault of both of us."

Yuan Cisheng looked at him and smiled bleakly.

"I know that you are such a tolerant and magnanimous person, and you can let go of everything. From the beginning to the end, if you really hate me, you can't forgive me even if you die. Isn't that the only thing? How many doctors have you hired? Isn’t the root of the pain that cannot be healed caused by that one thing alone!”

"I, caused you to lose Liao Xia. My existence is to remind you repeatedly that Liao Xia is long gone, gone, gone. I make you have to wake up from your fantasy and admit that Liao Xia is actually just A ghost from a distant childhood!"

He Jingnian covered his ears, "Stop talking!"

Yuan Cisheng strode forward, pulling his hands away, forcing him to look directly at himself, to hear himself, his real appearance, his real voice, and stop letting the ghosts of the past haunt him.Dust to dust, dust to dust, where you come from, you should go back. Liao Xia can only exist in the old winter, and don't wake up from Baixue's tomb.

Don't... torture them any more.

"My dream is over, I don't expect you to love me anymore." Yuan Ci closed his eyelashes, his vision went dark and then bright, and He Jingnian's figure also jumped out, dying.

"Every year, it's the end, can you lie to me, this person in front of you, not to Liao Xia?"

"Say, you love me, okay?"

long silence.

The last spark popped out of the firework stick, like a shooting star disappearing into the night, and the surroundings were completely darkened.

"It's too late, it's time for Gao Gui to go to bed, I'll go and bring her back, let's go back sooner later." He Jingnian seemed to be talking to himself, and he ran away, staggering as if he was running away.

The arm was grabbed in time.Only this time, Yuanci's voice didn't pull him into his arms gently and forcefully as before.

"Don't force yourself anymore. Anyway, this family is incomplete from the very beginning. It doesn't make sense if Wei keeps going."

The original voice slowly released his fingers.

"He Jingnian, let's separate."

He Jingnian kept his back to him, lowered his snow-white neck slightly, "Okay."

Sure enough, it was the expected answer, straightforward and without hesitation.

Yuan Ci laughed, and lit the last firework stick, sparks bloomed at the fingertips, against the endless night, like a first-class star quietly emitting light, He Jingnian used to compare his first-class star.

In an instant, he was almost like the little match girl selling expectations, reluctance, and delusions because of this fleeting false dream.

"I've never been able to learn the right way to love you, I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry for making you sad in the end."

He raised his arm, and threw the fireworks stick vigorously and far into the dark sea——

Before the light burns out.

"I'm sorry for turning your favorite Liao Xia into someone like me."

--------------------

The author has something to say:

感谢在2022-06-1100:00:00~2022-06-1200:00:00期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angels for irrigating me with nutrient solution~

Thanks to the little angels of the irrigation nutrient solution: 2 bottles of Fengji; 5 bottles of Lingchenfeng

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!