lack of love

Chapter 13 I'm Waiting For You

It's true that Zhong Qi is a strict mother, but it's impossible to really leave such Yan Hao alone.

From such a close distance, he can see more clearly how haggard Yan Hao is at the moment, his eyes are dark and sunken, and his eyes are bloodshot, and his previous momentum has weakened a lot.He remembered the doctor's order and said, "Go to sleep for a while."

Yan Hao didn't respond, but still stared at him persistently.

Zhong Qiran had no choice but to say: "I won't go, I'll stay with you here."

Yan Hao opened his mouth, wanting to say something, but he couldn't say it in the end.He seemed to have finally realized his weakness, and he seemed to have exhausted all his strength to pull the clock to get up.

Zhong Qi suddenly felt that his hands were shaking more than before.He really didn't want people to see Yan Hao's weak and weak appearance, so he placed his other hand on the back of his hand and said softly, "Go to sleep."

Yan Hao touched the warmth on the back of his hand, as if he felt relieved.He was coaxed by Zhong Qiran's soft tone to close his eyes and fell asleep.

Yan Hao slept deeply this time, and was not disturbed by any sound.Zhong Qiran stood for an hour, but couldn't pull his hand back.He had no choice but to ask someone to bring a chair over to sit beside Yan Hao's bed.

Yan's mother who was standing at the door had left at some point, and only the doctor stayed behind to observe Yan Hao's sleeping condition.

Zhong Qiran rushed over all the way, worried and worried, and was also tired at the moment.He simply lay down on Yan Hao's bedside to sleep, and didn't want to think about anything for the time being.

He woke up from hunger at night, and Yan Hao was still sleeping when he woke up.

At this time, the doctor was helping Yan Hao to check his body, and made a gesture to tell Zhong Qiran not to wake him up.

Zhong Qiran nodded, compared his hand again, and asked the doctor to help save his hand.

The two played lightly for a while, and Zhong Qiran finally regained his freedom.But he still didn't leave, and even ate dinner in Yan Hao's room.

Zhong Qiran kept his promise, so when Yan Hao woke up in the middle of the night, he saw him dozing off beside his bed.

The first thing he caught a glimpse of was the top of Zhong Qiran's head, inexplicably recalling the soft touch of this man's hair, he wanted to reach out to touch it, but he hadn't recovered his strength yet, he still felt powerless, so he was in vain.I don't know if this state of being unable to do anything has stimulated himself, he suddenly no longer feels indifferent, and has the idea of ​​wanting to get better soon.

On the other hand, Zhong Qiran immediately got up as soon as he felt the vibration coming from the bed. He didn't notice what Yan Hao wanted to do at all, he just said: "You wake up, eat something."

Yan Hao nodded.

Zhong Qiran was embarrassed to disturb Yan's cook in the middle of the night, so he had to do it himself. He took some ingredients from the refrigerator and cooked a bowl of light and digestible porridge.

He took a bite to test the temperature himself, and then fed Yan Hao bite by bite with a spoon.He did these things very naturally, just like back in the day, without awkwardness.

Yan Hao stared at the place where Zhong Qiran sucked just now, and when biting the spoon, he subconsciously licked it with his tongue.The porridge was obviously very light, but he felt the sweetness on the tip of his tongue.

After Yan Hao got enough sleep, he was naturally able to eat more.I didn't eat much at first, but gradually I didn't need to infuse nutrient solution.

After all, he is still young, and his health is recovering rapidly, and every day is more obvious than the previous day.

On the fifth day, although Yan Hao's body was still weak, his original momentum had returned.He can speak, and he doesn't need Zhong Qiran's help when eating.

So when Yan Hao was able to make a sound, the first thing he did was to ask Zhong Qiran: "Will you leave?"

Zhong Qiran looked at Yan Hao.Only then did I realize that this person was indeed different from a few days ago. He no longer needed to be put to sleep and eat by himself like a child, and he looked weak and powerless.So Zhong Qiran seemed to suddenly wake up from a beautiful dream and was forced to face reality.He doesn't deny that he really likes getting along these few days, there is no conflict, no quarrel, no external hindrance, just simply relying on each other.

But he knew that they would always return to reality.

The conditions offered by Yan's mother are still lingering in his mind. He didn't want to think about it, but asked Yan Hao: "Do you want me to stay? Tell me what you think."

He had nothing to do these five days, so he asked the doctor about Yan Hao's previous treatment methods.The original psychiatrist had already been driven away by Yan's mother, and this happened to the current psychiatrist.He cursed Yan's mother in his heart, and still took the time to call the previous psychiatrist.He took the liberty to call, but didn't know how to introduce himself.As soon as the psychiatrist heard Yan Hao's name, he immediately understood Zhong Qiran's identity.He talked about some of Yan Hao's previous consultation process one after another, and gave Zhong Qiran this suggestion: "Patients with this symptom have no sense of things, and can only stimulate his self-will by asking constantly. It irritates him It doesn't matter, the most important thing is to let him have an idea. As long as he is still willing to communicate with you, then you can continue."

"I don't know, but I don't want you to go."

"why?"

Yan Hao thought for a while, but he didn't answer like before.

Zhong Qiran suddenly thought of the demand theory he had said when he argued with him last time, and immediately felt very regretful.But he at least understood one thing, Yan Hao was very concerned about what he said.

He didn't ask any more questions, nor did he explain.He just stated the facts flatly, "But you know, I'm in graduate school now. I won't be able to graduate for at least another year."

If it was Zhong Qiran from before, he would probably drop out of school and come back without saying a word.But after experiencing these things, he knew that ignorant catering could not solve the problem, just like they used to be so affectionate, no one could have expected that they would break up due to accident and misunderstanding.

He knew that Yan's mother hated homosexuality, but he knew better that she actually looked down on him.In such a big environment, it is understandable that anyone around who suddenly becomes rich will inevitably be discussed.

Zhong Qiran had also endured this kind of pressure before, so he avoided it.But Yan Hao is willing to give in and move out with him.He only now understands that this is not the solution to the problem.

As long as they still want to be together, this will never be an escape.And now he faced the same decision again.

Yan Hao looked at him without speaking.

This kind of silence makes Zhong Qi feel a little hard to resist.He knew that he could never compromise again, but he could back down a little, "I'll come back to see you next time, okay?"

He knew that his words might sound unconvincing, but he couldn't make more guarantees.

But Yan Hao still nodded and said, "I'll wait for you."

Zhong Qiran suddenly remembered the relationship problems that Li Qi had encountered. His ex-boyfriend proposed to break up because he was too far away to be trusted.But Yan Hao can trust himself, this is the biggest difference between him and Li Qi.

That's why he never let go.Having received Yan Hao's love once, he can no longer accommodate others in his heart.

Before Zhong Qiran left Yan's house, he didn't have any conditions for replying to Yan's mother.

Sitting in the cabin, he watched the plane speeding up into the sky, breaking through the thick clouds, and the sun shining on the clouds, emitting a beautiful golden light, like seeing the sun through the clouds.

He couldn't help but think of the phone conversation with the psychiatrist.

"Can his symptoms be cured?"

The doctor on the other end of the phone fell silent, but still admitted: "I'm sorry, I can't give you a definite answer."

After all, this is irreversible damage.I can only pray for a miracle to happen.

Zhong Qiran returned to Country M after taking a flight of more than ten hours, and the first thing he did after landing was to call Yan's mother.

He spoke very quickly to express his meaning: "I'm sorry that I can't agree to your conditions. I can't leave Yan Hao, and he can't leave me. If you want to break us up, go ahead, I won't admit defeat .”

Yan's mother obviously didn't expect Zhong Qiran to have such an attitude, she froze on the spot, still unable to react.But Zhong Qiran hung up the phone before she wanted to speak.

He just told that whether Yan's mother could listen or not was out of his concern.

This is what he and Yan Hao experienced together, and they have to face it together.Even if the scars don't heal, they still have to move forward with the scars.