White Swan

Chapter 55

"A Winter's Tale" has a total of eight performances from the seventh day of the lunar new year to mid-February.

Yesterday was the closing performance, and the dance troupe will be on vacation from today, and rehearsals for the next season's performance will start in half a month.

After the holiday, Qiao Fei missed Shi Xubai more every day.He just sat on the upstairs balcony in a daze, looking at the crabapple flowers planted in the yard, thinking wildly.

He never went to Shi Xubai's apartment again, firstly because he was afraid that He Haoyun would find out, and secondly because he didn't want to stay there alone.The apartment is a haven with Shi Xubai, without him, Qiao Fei doesn't feel safe there.

Shi Xubai has never come back, not even a bit of news, as if he disappeared out of thin air, and the memory he left for Qiao Fei is like sea water at low tide, never coming.

If it wasn't for seeing the bunch of sunflowers and sodalite, Qiao Fei would even think that Shi Xubai was an angel he imagined, a bubble that he conjured up to comfort himself when he was at his darkest.

Falling in love with Xubai is throwing himself into the stormy sea, he is not afraid, just because there is no one on the shore behind him that he misses.

Qiao Fei put the bunch of sunflowers in the most beautiful glass bottle, and he put it on the window sill of his room so that it could always face the sun.

Qiao Fei hasn't grown flowers for a long time, and he threw all the flowers that He Haoyun gave him into the trash can. He doesn't know how to trim the flowers, whether to cut off some leaves and shorten the roots.He changes the water for the sunflowers two or three times a day, thinking that this will make the flowers live longer.

That bouquet of sunflowers was his only sustenance. He felt that as long as the flowers were still in bloom, Shi Xubai would come back one day. He was just delayed by something, and it was not his fault.

Qiao Fei is used to sending Shi Xubai a message every night before going to bed, and I don't know if he can see it, but Shi Xubai never replied anyway.

Before going to bed today, he wrapped himself in a blanket and lay on the carpet in the room. After thinking for a while, he slowly typed out a line and sent it to Shi Xubai.

[I bought a cup of black coffee at the convenience store on the corner of the dance troupe today.It's not very tasty, it's too bitter, I think it's far worse than yours. 】

The previous message was sent last night:

[I want to eat orange fudge, drink orange soda, go to the movies, watch the stars, and hang out in museums.You must take me there when you come back, okay? 】

The previous one is:

[I miss you, I miss you very much. 】

What's more, Qiao Fei told Shi Xubai almost every little detail in his life, because he felt that he was still here, as if he was by his side.

He didn't know if Shi Xubai had seen these messages, he somewhat hoped that he hadn't.Qiao Fei didn't believe that Shi Xubai would lie to him, he didn't think about it at all, his heart was already very tired, and he couldn't help but doubt the person he loved the most, otherwise cracks might appear in his heart.

He felt as if his candy tangerines had been stolen from the top of the cupboard, and all that was left was an empty box, which still seemed to smell a little sweet.

After sending the message, Qiao Fei hugged the blanket and went to bed, planning to sleep.He lay down facing the window, watching the faint moonlight outside the window in the dim room.

From the second night when Shi Xubai didn't come back, Qiao Fei started not to draw the curtains at night, just to see a little bit of starlight in the sky outside.In fact, there are no stars in the city, the lights are too bright, he can only rely on the thoughts in his heart, know that there are stars in the sky, but they can't see them.

As soon as Qiao Fei retracted into the quilt, the door of the room was pushed open. He Haoyun walked in wearing pajamas, stood at the door holding the doorknob, and ordered: "Go to sleep in my room tonight."

Qiao Fei didn't want to go, and lay still on the bed.

But this kind of thing has never been allowed to him, Qiao Fei was dragged to the master bedroom by He Haoyun, and thrown on the bed.He Haoyun's room was very large, with a thick wool carpet on the floor, and the bed was big enough to sleep three people.

The quilt on the bed was thick, and Qiao Fei wrapped herself in it, pulling the quilt up to her chin, using it as a shield.

But He Haoyun asked Qiao Fei to come to sleep with him. After Qiao Fei went to bed, he didn't look at him at all, turned off the headlights in the room, and walked to the window.

"Don't... can you not pull the curtains." Qiao Fei begged him softly.

He Haoyun didn't bother to care about the child's strange moths, and walked to the window, the curtains were drawn shut with a "shua".

The starlight was blocked on the other side of the curtain, and the room was dark.

Qiao Fei became quiet, and whispered at the moment He Haoyun went to bed: "But this way I won't be able to find my breadcrumbs."

-

The sunflower withered on Qiao Fei's birthday, and the tender yellow petals lost their original color and turned dark orange, looking dull.

Qiao Fei lay on the window sill, gently helped the flower with its drooping head up with the palm of her hand, but it drooped its head again as soon as she let go.

He searched around the room, wondering if he could tie the flowers to it with something, but he couldn't find it.Qiao Fei looked at Sunflower dejectedly, feeling a sharp pain in her heart, like a child accidentally smashing a precious glass owl.

The flower has already failed to bloom, and no matter how much you take care of it, it can't be saved, and he knows it in his heart.

He felt like the sunflower chasing the sun.Sunflower may never be able to catch up with the sun, but he still hopes that one day he will be able to meet the sun.

When he was a child, he thought that sunflowers could live forever as long as they had the sun, but he didn't realize until now that sunflowers will stop following the sun one day.

Qiao Fei doesn't know if he has ever fallen in love with someone. He once thought he fell in love with He Haoyun because he gave him everything he wanted most, but now he realizes that it is not love, but gratitude.

During the Chinese New Year holiday, Shi Xubai took Qiao Fei to visit all the fun places in the city, just to make him forget the things that made him uncomfortable.No matter how depressed he was, it would be because Shi Xubai said, look!A hummingbird flew over there just now, and it became brilliant.

A sun that will always shine will illuminate a person's entire planet.

That's why Qiao Fei fell in love with him, he fell in love with Shi Xubai's cup of bitter coffee, the terrible piano music he played, and the little knot that never got straight.

He stared blankly at the sunflower that had lost its vitality, feeling as if he had forgotten something important.

Before meeting Shi Xubai, Qiao Fei had never felt so vulnerable.He was able to go to the dance troupe the next day after He Haoyun fucked him until he had a fever, even if he was walking with a limp, he didn't make a sound.But now he wanted to cry because a mere bunch of flowers withered.

Qiao Fei didn't understand what was wrong with him, he seemed to have some kind of disease, and he didn't know how to cure it.

The sunflower had withered, and Qiao Fei took it out of the vase, but standing in front of the trash can, he hesitated again.He was reluctant to throw away the flowers, as if he was giving up something that he could never live without.

Oh, come to think of it, he doesn't like flowers.

Finally, Qiao Fei carefully cut out the largest sunflower flower, put it in the magazine with Shi Xubai, and hugged it tightly in her arms.

It turns out that this magazine proves that there is a beam of sunshine in this world that belongs to Qiao Fei.

And now this magazine proves that Qiao Fei loves him and will wait for him no matter how long.

Qiao Fei sat down beside the bed, and suddenly remembered that today was his birthday, and he was 21 years old.

He had never had a birthday, had never received a gift, and had no idea what it was like to be blown out with candles.Before this, he never bothered to celebrate his birthday, and it didn't matter to him whether he was one year older or not, but now he desperately wants to meet someone and hear him say "I love you" to himself.

Qiao Fei hugged the magazine with sunflower petals in it, and whispered a happy birthday to herself.

Perhaps this slightly special day gave him a little sporadic courage, and he slowly went downstairs, wanting to try something he had wanted to try for a long time.