Under meals

Chapter 42 Do You Still Like Me

On the afternoon when he left Li Lan's house, Tao Mingzhuo didn't go home directly, but walked aimlessly outside for a long time.

He raised his head and stared at the sun above his head for a while, until his eye sockets were hot and his eyes hurt so much that he couldn't keep staring, then he lowered his head a little dejectedly.

At first, Tao Mingzhuo just felt it was absurd. He even thought that Li Lan was joking with himself, because he had never heard of it, and he couldn't understand the existence of this disease at all.

People like Tao Mingzhuo, who have eaten every meal seriously since childhood and regard three meals a day as one of the most important things in life, can't understand why they have no appetite for a long time and can't eat all the time. what a feeling.

And Jing Ci...why didn't she want to tell herself?

At that time, Li Lan sighed and said, "This is actually the first time I've heard of such an eating disorder, but Xiaoci's secretary said that before he met you, he hadn't been able to eat normally for several months."

"Fortunately, he met you later." Li Lan patted Tao Mingzhuo's shoulder with a smile, and said, "Liang Jingjing told me that your child eats very deliciously, and Xiaoci saw it at the cafeteria of your company. When it comes to you, he said that as long as he looks at you while eating, he can also eat with him."

Tao Mingzhuo blinked blankly.

"You did him a great favor." Li Lan said and put the bird's nest into Tao Mingzhuo's hands, seeing the expression on Tao Mingzhuo's face, she asked in surprise, "Don't you know?"

Tao Mingzhuo took the bird's nest in a daze, and took a step back.

He shook his head, and after a while he said dryly: "...No, I...I know."

Li Lan didn't think much, said "Oh", then smiled and said, "That's right, that's why I want to thank you."

At this moment, Tao Mingzhuo's mind is blank.

Obviously the whole thing was so absurd that he wanted to laugh, but when he recalled the bits and pieces of this period of time, he found that everything was traceable.

Jing Ci can only eat if she looks at herself...

Tao Mingzhuo suddenly realized something again.

So when I was outside Jing Ci's office, I heard him describe his importance to Liang Jingjing, and heard him say that he was his "meaning of life". Could this "meaning" refer to nothing else but Does it mean that he can only eat if he looks at his face?

If you continue to think about it according to this line of thought, the reason why Jing Ci secretly stared at her face in the company cafeteria before was not for any other purpose, but because he needed to keep looking at her face in order to be able to eat well. Just download something.

Then, after that, I took the initiative to invite myself to have dinner with him at noon, and looked at myself "affectionately" from time to time during the meal. Is it also for this purpose?

Tao Mingzhuo's chest was tight, he took a deep breath, but found that he seemed to be out of breath no matter what.

In fact, he felt strange at that time, since he and Jing Ci obviously had no intersection before, why did he have such a deep affection for him?

It's just because there were too many coincidences at the time, once the idea of ​​"Is he secretly in love with me" popped up, every time Tao Mingzhuo analyzed Jing Ci's every move, he brought his own unique psychological hints, He just went wrong step by step.

Originally, I was willing to eat such a spicy barbecue with myself, and no matter what I did next, I could smile gently and say it was okay, but it was just because Jing Ci at that time felt that as long as she could have a meal with herself, no matter what she paid The cost doesn't matter.

It turns out that Jing Ci... didn't like me at the time.He thought blankly.

There were too many details that were very strange in my eyes at the time, and it seemed that they could be explained at once, but Tao Mingzhuo didn't want to think about it any further.

Because now he suddenly doesn't know, how much of Jing Ci's gentleness and kindness to him, the crooked smiles when he looks at him every time, is from the heart, and how much... is from eating with him What is the purpose?

He didn't want to think, or he was actually afraid to think.

Even after returning home, Tao Mingzhuo still cooked such a table of dishes with some fluke, and told Jingci, "Be sure to finish this bowl of rice before I come down."

But in fact Tao Mingzhuo didn't go upstairs, and stood in the dark at the corner of the stairs, seeing all Jing Ci's actions at that time.

Tao Mingzhuo could clearly see Jing Ci's slightly hesitant expression when he stared at the bowl of rice, the painful expression when he frowned while chewing, and the way he poured the rice back into the pot and compacted it tightly.

Jing Ci's wrist exposed outside the cuff is slender and thin, and the protruding joints can be clearly seen.

Tao Mingzhuo felt his eye sockets burning.

The blood in his whole body became icy at that moment, obviously it was the beginning of summer, but Tao Mingzhuo felt that the air he exhaled was chilly, and he suddenly lost his strength.

He first felt embarrassed because of his previous self-indulgence.

Then comes fear.Because Tao Mingzhuo suddenly realized that since all the previous misunderstandings between the two were all misunderstandings, and Jing Ci had never had a crush on him, then the cohabitation he proposed later, and even agreed to be with him...would it be possible? Is it also out of some other plans?

However, among these chaotic thoughts, the biggest proportion is actually distressed and sad.

Because it was such a serious illness, and Tao Mingzhuo thought that they were already very close, but Jing Ci was still unwilling to confess to herself.

Jing Ci feels that Tao Mingzhuo's state in the past two days is a bit wrong.

He looked the same as usual, but when the two people's eyes met, Tao Mingzhuo would immediately look away uncomfortably, pretending to be busy sketching the sketch in front of him.

Jing Ci felt that Tao Mingzhuo seemed to be consciously hiding from herself, but every time he asked, Tao Mingzhuo gave the answers "I'm fine" and "I'm very busy".

In the past two days, Jing Ci has been busy with the affairs of the U country branch, while Tao Mingzhuo has been busy with Tao Xue's affairs and the drawing work for the anniversary celebration. When both of them are exhausted, they have not had a good one. Opportunity to talk.

Fortunately, Tao Xue's side has finally settled down smoothly, and she plans to file a lawsuit for divorce in the court while raising her baby with peace of mind.

In order to express her gratitude to Li Lan and Jing Ci, she asked Tao Mingzhuo to bring a message, saying that she would treat them to a meal on the weekend.

Jing Ci felt that Tao Xue and Tao Mingzhuo had very similar personalities, they were the kind of people who would always feel uneasy when they owed favors to others, so they didn't refuse.

Tao Xue ordered a table of dishes that night, and Li Lan brought a few bottles of good wine.

Jing Ci and Tao Mingzhuo sat face to face, Li Lan and Tao Xue chatted about the TV series they watched together recently, Jing Ci smiled and listened, while Tao Mingzhuo drank in silence.

Tao Xue tapped Tao Mingzhuo's head: "We are the ones who invite people to dinner, what are you doing drinking so much, kid? It's a waste of money if such a good wine enters your stomach."

Li Lan said boldly, "Oh, it's okay, just drink more."

Tao Mingzhuo was silent and didn't speak, just put down his wine glass.

Tao Xue and Li Lan were chatting lively the whole time. When Jing Ci put down her chopsticks and raised her eyes, she found Tao Mingzhuo looking at her.

The moment Tao Mingzhuo met Jing Ci's gaze, he lowered his head and stuffed a big mouthful of rice into his mouth sullenly.

Tao Xue chatted for a few words, and found that although Tao Mingzhuo was not drinking, he swept away all the food on the table without saying a word, and suddenly couldn't laugh or cry: "You kid, don't be a drunkard, but a rice bucket, right?"

Jing Ci felt something was wrong.

Although Tao Mingzhuo was eating, and eating a lot, he was eating with emotion.

Instead of gobbling happily like usual, he sneakily looked up at himself after taking a bite, and then continued to lower his head and stuff food into his mouth without saying a word.

It felt like... eating for myself.

From the meal the night before yesterday, Jing Ci felt that Tao Mingzhuo's state was a bit weird, and he thought that something happened to Tao Xue.

But when we met today, Jing Ci found that Tao Xue's complexion and spirit were very good, and he realized that things might not be as simple as he thought.

In a sense, Tao Xue's affairs were well arranged, and Jing Ci felt that she could try to confess her illness to Tao Mingzhuo tonight.

But after returning home, Tao Mingzhuo didn't give him a chance to speak.

Jing Ci had just finished changing her shoes at the entrance, when she turned around, Tao Mingzhuo grabbed her shoulders and pressed them against the hard wooden cabinet beside her.

Tao Mingzhuo smelled heavily of alcohol, and he kissed recklessly, not as shy as usual, more like venting his emotions, and his actions were even a little rough.

Jing Ci had a hard time responding.

Although Tao Mingzhuo would be clumsy and reckless when kissing before, he always carefully took care of Jingci's feelings during the process.

Now he is venting his emotions unilaterally like a ruthless little beast, this kind of suppression makes Jing Ci feel a little strange.

His wrist was tightly bound, Tao Mingzhuo got closer and closer, Jing Ci's back hit the edge of the cabinet again, he frowned in pain, and subconsciously said: "It hurts..."

His cry was actually very soft, but it made Tao Mingzhuo regain his consciousness from the chaotic state.

Seeing him pause in a daze, Jing Ci looked at herself, then let go of his hand in a panic, and took a step back subconsciously.

Tao Mingzhuo drank a lot of wine, his voice was a little hoarse: "...I'm sorry."

At this moment, his state seemed very wrong, Jing Ci was startled: "It's fine."

The lower back was still aching, but Jing Ci raised her hand without hesitation, touched Tao Mingzhuo's face, wanting to comfort her and kiss again.

Tao Mingzhuo turned his face away, avoiding Jing Ci's hand.

He said, "...don't go on."

Jing Ci was startled.

"Tao Mingzhuo," Jing Ci raised her face, stroked Tao Mingzhuo's face, and asked softly, "What happened recently? Can you tell me?"

Tao Mingzhuo is a person who will not hide his emotions.

Generally, if something goes wrong at work or with other people, even if you hold back for a long time and don't want to talk about it, as long as Jing Ci asks in such a gentle voice like now, he can't help but recruit them all.

But at this moment, Tao Mingzhuo still turned his face away and did not speak.

Jing Ci finally realized that Tao Mingzhuo's emotions were aimed at herself.

Recalling Tao Mingzhuo's abnormal behavior in the past two days, and his state at the dinner table just now, Jing Ci suddenly had a bad guess in his heart.

He took a deep breath and asked softly tremblingly, "Are you..."

Jing Ci didn't finish the second half of the sentence, because he felt some warm and moist liquid hit his hand bit by bit.

He didn't react at first, but just stared blankly at the crystal water drops on the back of his hand, seeing them falling more and more like raindrops.

Jing Ci raised her eyes, only to realize that Tao Mingzhuo was crying.

The tip of the young man's nose and eye sockets were already unbearably red. In order to hold back his tears, he opened his eyes wide open, and the eye sockets were filled with tears.

He wanted his expression to look fierce, but as long as he looked at Jing Ci's face, he found that he couldn't be fierce at all, instead, tears fell uncontrollably.

Tao Mingzhuo cried a little out of breath. He felt ashamed and didn't want to see Jing Ci's face anymore, so he lowered his head.

"Jing Ci." He cried, "You are sick, why didn't you tell me?"

Jing Ci's eyes suddenly widened.

Tao Mingzhuo seemed to be trying very hard to hold back his tears.

But he endured it to the end, until his whole face and even his neck were suffocated, and the moment he raised his head to look at Jing Ci's face, he couldn't help but flatten his mouth, and tears fell down again.

"And," he asked intermittently, "if...if the person who ate deliciously in the cafeteria wasn't me, and if your illness recovers...would you still like me?"

"Did you ever like me?" he asked.

"But..." Tao Mingzhuo clumsily raised his hand to wipe his tears, sobbed a bit, and said to himself, "But I already like you."

He lowered his head and cried helplessly, as if he was asking Jingci, but also asking himself: "What should I do now... what should I do now?"