twin stars

Chapter 58 Love and Hate One Moment

Lei Yi

Ajie insisted on returning to the set to film.He is still a little weak, but the fighting scenes are still done by himself, without looking for a substitute.I was worried about him. I saw him chatting with Ah Sheng and Ah Qi, and wanted to join in, but he pushed me away, pointed at Yu Shan who was visiting the class, smiled and said: "You are all 'married people', why bother with me?" Where are we bachelors hanging out together? Hurry up and take care of your wife." His tone was completely joking, but the meaning of keeping me out was so obvious that I couldn't explain it.

When filming, the shots we stare at each other are often only a dozen seconds long.what happened?Could it be that if I get married, I will be regarded as a "heterogeneous"?Why is Ajie ignoring me more and more deliberately?During filming breaks, he even competed with Ah Sheng and instructed him in martial arts moves, but he completely ignored me.Is it because he doesn't treat me like a child anymore?

When I was puzzled, a major event happened in my family: my stepfather, Xiaoer's biological father, passed away due to overwork!

The big tree that sheltered me from the wind and rain fell suddenly, and my mother was hit hard, and she almost collapsed.

I remembered what Ajie once said, it was very difficult for my mother to raise us brothers and sisters alone, and my stepfather helped her bear the burden, which was also very remarkable.When I was a child, I always complained that my mother cared too little for me. In fact, she was a weak woman. After losing her husband, she had to support the family independently with her weak shoulders for nearly ten years. She was the one who needed the most love and support.Now I finally understand her hardships and difficulties, and understand the meaning of Ajie's words.Now my mother has lost someone she can rely on and entrust to, and she can only rely on her son.

The eldest brother is far away overseas and has not come back yet.The second brother took care of the funeral alone. I wanted to help him, but I didn't know how to do it. It seemed useless and redundant to stand aside.Ajie rushed to my house after hearing the news, and after a few words of comfort, he began to help my second brother with his busy schedule.Unexpectedly, I attended his father's funeral the year before last, and this year he attended my stepfather's funeral!I finally know what I should do, as long as I follow Ajie to fight, I can start to make a difference.

My mother is accompanied by my younger sister and Yushan. At this moment, the small ear worries me even more.He is only 17 years old, a rebellious boy in adolescence, just when he needs his father to teach and accompany him.I lost my father when I was young, and I have almost no impression of my father, but he lost his father at this time, the sadness, the sense of confusion and insecurity of losing the barrier and guide, even though I have not experienced it personally, I can empathize with it.

He didn't shed a single tear, much like Ajie when his father passed away.I don't know how to comfort him, and I can't hold him and cry like I hold Ajie.I can be weak in front of Ajie, but I am Xiaoer's older brother, so I can't lose my composure in front of my younger brother.

I told Ajie my worries, and Ajie led me to the door of Xiaoer's room on the second floor.Pushing open the door, Xiao Er was sitting on the bed in a daze with the car model his father made for him.Ajie walked in, sat beside him, patted Xiaoer's shoulder lightly, and said something to him, Xiaoer put down the model, hugged Ajie and began to cry.Being able to cry out means that you are willing to vent and express your sadness to others. The most worrying thing is not crying or making trouble.

Fortunately, Ajie is here!He can always do what I can't!When I am sad and helpless, I always turn to him.With him here, I feel like I don’t have to be afraid of anything, I don’t have to worry about anything!Ajie, I really... need you very much!

Feng Xiangjie

Something happened to Xiao Yi's house, my first reaction was to help him.I told myself: Xiao Yi has helped me so much and given me so much comfort, no matter how he treats me, I should not blame him.His family is my family.Seeing a sad aunt is like seeing my own mother. In fact, I have already regarded her as my mother in my heart.

"Auntie, please forgive me!"

"Ajie, thank you!" Auntie held my hand with tears in her eyes: "Thank you for coming to help! You are like my half son."

My heart was so hot that I almost wanted to cry.Brother Lei Qin and Xiao Er also treat me as a brother, and I am very grateful for their trust.

"Mom, should you send all these funeral stickers?" Lin Yushan walked into the room with a stack of funeral stickers.

"Oh, you are pregnant, don't worry about these things, be careful! I will ask Xiaoyi to take you home." The aunt called Xiaoyi, and asked Xiaoyi to send Lin Yushan back to their Xiaojia to have a baby, and then come back help.

"Speaking of which, after getting married, Xiaoyi has really matured a lot. She knows how to understand and take care of others, and she is no longer alienated from me. This is all thanks to Yushan!" Watching them drive away, the aunt said happily .

My expression froze, I lowered my head and said:

"Well, getting married...does make people mature."

After the funeral, An Ran said that Lin Yushan invited us to visit her home.Thinking about it carefully, after Xiao Yi got married, I really haven't been a guest in the new house he bought.

Probably because I bought it in a hurry, the house has only been decorated briefly, but there are baby products, cribs, and all kinds of toys everywhere... The whole house is decorated in warm colors and decorated very warmly, preparing for the upcoming baby .

An Ran and I also bought baby pajamas as gifts.Xiao Yi probably has never entertained guests at home, so he was a little flustered, talking about pouring tea, but ran to cut fruit; said to cook, but forgot where to put the vegetables he bought.

An Ran and Lin Yushan were sitting on the sofa chatting.

"Sister Yushan, don't you cook at home?"

"I don't know how to do it, it's all Xiaoyi's doing. Now he doesn't let me do housework, I'm just a idler who eats and drinks enough and then falls asleep, haha!"

"Wow, that's great! I didn't expect Brother Xiao Yi to be so considerate!"

"I didn't expect him to be so considerate. I thought he would only be taken care of by others!"

Seeing Xiaoyi messing around in the kitchen, I couldn't help but say:

"How about...let me cook?"

In the dormitory, although we agreed to take turns cooking, he could only cook one or two dishes. He was lazy, and I was actually cooking for him most of the time.At that time, I complained that he was lazy, but I was actually very happy to see him eating the dishes I made deliciously.

In the future, there will be no chance to cook for him again!

In the past, I wished I could hold him in the palm of my hand and take care of him carefully, but now, I want to watch him take care of others in the palm of my hand.It turns out that if you really care about someone, you will change for her.No matter how much I did, it was not as great as Lin Yushan's influence on him.Just, just why am I still thinking about him in the past?Obviously, he doesn't care about my care and care at all.

For the last time, cook for him for the last time!Crushed the sadness and pain, kneaded it in the food, watched him eat it, and heard him praise the food I cooked for the last time.

Give up, give up!put him down!

But let go of him, why is it so difficult?It's like giving up another self, like cutting off my own limbs, making myself incomplete, never complete...

When the movie directed by Xiaoyi and I was released, the box office was not satisfactory, and it could even be said to be a disastrous failure.It seems that the director's way, I can't go.I can no longer perform "brotherly love" with Xiaoyi. If I want to broaden the way of acting, I can only leave Zhang's class to find another way out.Everyone said that Huang Yu was the first generation of Zhang Dao's disciples, and Xiao Yi, Artest and I were the second generation.Now, Dao Zhang has a third generation of disciples, mainly Ah Sheng and Ah Qi.More and more films began to be led by them, and Ah Sheng became more and more popular.It's time to go!

When I heard that director Li Hanxiang was going to make a Qing court historical drama "Allure", I took the initiative to contact him and recommend myself to him.Director Li Hanxiang was very pleasantly surprised and agreed.Those of us actors who were popularized by Zhang Dao before were basically the queen actors of Zhang Dao, and all of them obeyed Zhang Dao. It was difficult for other directors of Zhao's company to borrow us to film.Now that I took the initiative to contact him, Director Li was also very surprised.In order to prevent me from being difficult to explain to Zhang Dao, he said that he would personally borrow someone from Zhang Dao.

If you don't film brotherhood and act in other plots, maybe Xiao Yi and I can still work together.I asked Xiao Yi if he would go back to Hangcheng to film "The Allure" with me. After all, this is an opportunity to broaden the horizons of the drama. Do you want to stay in Zhang's class and be a star?

"What? A play directed by Li Hanxiang? A costume play? Do you want to shave your head?" Xiao Yi was full of surprise and doubt.

"I like this drama very much. Whether you want to act or not, you can decide for yourself."

"Just playing the role of a little eunuch, not the leading role, and there are still few scenes!" He grumbled reluctantly.My heart is half cold.

Lei Yi

Ajie actually took the initiative to contact Director Li for filming!Doesn't he know that Zhang Dao and Li Dao have always been competitors?After Artest and Ah Xiu learned about this incident, they were very angry, thinking that this behavior was tantamount to "betrayal of the teacher".

He also asked me if I would like to act with him, how should I answer?If he wanted to, wouldn't that also be a betrayal of Zhang Dao?It’s okay for me to play a supporting role and perform for Ajie. I have performed for him many times, and I have also performed for Artest and Asheng, but the premise is that it is a film directed by Zhang.I don't want to be regarded as an ungrateful "traitor" just because I took someone else's scene!Ajie usually values ​​kindness and righteousness the most, why would he ask Director Li to make a movie?I tried to find an excuse to refuse, but Applejack looked very disappointed.He probably blamed me for not being righteous enough!

Director Li actually asked Director Zhang to borrow someone himself, but this time, Director Zhang, who had always been tough, let go and agreed to Director Li.

"Since Ajie wants you to act, you can go. For the sake of box office, you have to help him." Director Zhang's words reassured me, and Ajie and I flew back to Hangcheng to film "The Allure" .

Director Li's film seeks to restore the original appearance of history, so it completely follows the hair decorations of the Qing Dynasty. The actors need to shave their heads and leave half of their heads bald after wearing hair covers.

I really miss my hair.Shaved bald is really ugly, I don't want Ajie to see me like this.

"I know you don't want to shave your head, so I'll shave it for you myself."

Ajie spoke slowly.Now he is more and more quiet and introverted, like a calm deep pool, so deep that I can't guess what he is thinking.

Anyway, I do feel a lot better when he shaves his hair himself.As long as he doesn't think I'm ugly.

Feng Xiangjie

The moment Xiao Yi initially refused to make "Allure", I thought I would never be able to influence him again.Even if he can't act as a partner in the future, doesn't he care?At that moment, my heart was very cold!

In the end, he finally agreed to take on the filming of "Allure", I am very happy.At least, at least it shows that he still cares about my partner.

The emperor I played and the little eunuch played by Xiao Yi had a slapstick scene. We played freely on the scene, just like returning to the days of chasing and fighting in the dormitory.I had a lot of fun filming this scene, but I know that those happy days in the dormitory will never come back again.

In October, Xiao Yi's child was born, a daughter.He called Zhang Dao at the hospital to announce the good news and asked Zhang Dao to marry the child's name.I stood beside him and saw him smiling very happily.There is one more person he loves the most.

Lei Yi

Ajie bought a gift specially to visit the child.He teased Xiao Nan in the stroller, smiling softly and kindly, like the spring breeze blowing on his face, which melted my heart.He loves kids too, right?

"Why are you in a daze?" Yu Shan tapped my head with a feeding bottle.

"Ah? Why am I in a daze?" I came back to my senses, snatched the bottle in a hurry, and said flatteringly, "You've worked hard, let me feed you!"

"Well, seeing that you performed well, I'll give you a reward!" Yu Shan put her arms around my neck and kissed me.

I was so uncomfortable that I couldn't help but look at Ajie's face.He stood there with a faint smile.

"This is..." He walked to the closet and asked, pointing to a high-end camera in the closet.

Yu Shan rushed to answer: "Oh, it's Xiao Yi's new camera. He takes pictures of Xiao Nan every day and says he wants to record all of Xiao Nan's growth process."

Ajie held the camera in his hand and rubbed it lightly, and said with a smile: "I used to... also often take pictures of Xiaoyi."

"Really? You used to have such a good relationship, even the media said you were gay!"

As if my heart had been hit hard, I immediately lowered my face and said sharply: "Don't talk nonsense! Ajie and I are good buddies, best friends! Don't listen to other people's rumors! Right, Ajie?"

Ajie never took his eyes off the camera in his hand, as if he was immersed in enjoying it.After a while, he raised his head and said with a smile: "Yes, of course it's a rumor!" Maybe it was my illusion, that smile seemed to be chilling.

I don't know if Yushan deliberately provoked an embarrassing topic, I don't want Ajie to see me at home!

"Ajie, should we go outside for gatherings in the future? The house is full of bottles and cans, and the children are noisy, so we can't have a good chat!"

After a few seconds of silence, he smiled detachedly and politely: "Okay!"

Feng Xiangjie

Going out to party?Don't go to your house again?

What are you afraid of?Afraid that I will damage your reputation and affect your family?Afraid of being called homosexual/sexual/homosexual?Want to break up with me so soon?

Hahaha, I was sincere and open, but what I got in exchange was disgust and suspicion!

You thought I would intervene in your family?Are you afraid that I will "tangle up" with you?Who do you take me for?

I couldn't help laughing, laughing that I was the stupidest fool, the stupidest fool in the world!

A beam of strong headlights came from the front, I hurriedly turned the steering wheel, and with a "boom", my car hit a tree on the side of the road.

It didn't hit hard and I wasn't hurt.It's just that this collision made me feel as if I was soaked in ice water, and my whole body was cool and transparent!

Yes, that's right, I still go to his house now, and I want to see his life, isn't it because I'm "entangled" with him?

I told myself repeatedly that to see his life was just to make myself completely give up.But if you want to see him, doesn't it just mean that you don't give up?

Why not recognize the reality?Why lie to yourself?

You must make up your mind, you must make up your mind!From then on, completely stay away from his life, stay away from his family, and only be a companion at work!

After Xiao Yi participated in "The Allure", he was greatly appreciated by Director Li for his outstanding acting skills.Because he liked the little eunuch he played so much, Director Li revised the script while filming to give him more roles.Xiao Yi's acting talent is already outstanding, so it's not surprising that he is favored by Director Li.I know that there is still a distance between me and him. I want to surpass him, leave his halo, be completely independent in my career, and never rely on him at all, and never look up to him again.

Director Li has a deep understanding of classical culture, and the Golden Temple he built in the indoor studio is magnificent.It is said that in order to follow the style of the incense burner recorded in ancient books, he traveled all over the antique market in Hangcheng, and finally bought the incense burner for filming.I admire this rigorous style of textual research.

"Brother Feng, you are reading a book!" I was standing in front of the hall reading a book when the actress Xiao Yao, who was my first co-star, came to me.She was discovered by Director Li, and she played the role of Emperor Guangxu's beloved concubine Zhenfei in "The Allure", and she played a very important role.Immediately we will be filming a scene of my wedding with Concubine Zhen.

"Oh, Emperor Guangxu is a historical figure. I want to read more books so that I can figure out how this character behaves."

"You really work hard! I can only act based on my feelings, but fortunately I have the director's guidance. But Lei Yi is so good that he almost doesn't need Director Li to talk about the play. Just act casually, and he will have both form and spirit, lifelike. Director Li said that if the actor If he is as savvy as Lei Yi, he would laugh out loud in his dreams."

"Well... he is very powerful!"

"Also, Lei Yi really loves children! All he talks about with others is his daughter."

"...Well, he loves children!"

"Ajie, so you are here!" Xiao Yi ran over wearing costumes: "You two are still rehearsing now?"

Before Xiao Yao and I could answer, Xiao Yi patted my shoulder and said with a smile: "The big wedding scene is not easy to shoot! Ajie, in order to let you enter the bridal chamber as soon as possible, I ran up and down and was almost exhausted." !"

Enter the bridal chamber as soon as possible?Let me enter the bridal chamber as soon as possible?

This is your hope?I clenched my fists and snorted coldly:

"Yes, thank you for your hard work!"

After filming the big wedding scene, I hid behind a screen and read the script, not wanting to talk to anyone.

Get married, he asked me to get married!Pushed me away so impatiently?

Your wedding made my life worse than death; but my wedding was what you expected?

Is he joking?But as long as he has a little affection for me in his heart, he will not joke about marriage casually.

So, he doesn't care about me at all, doesn't care...

"Sir, your bracelet is not for your lover, but for your wife? Your wife must be very happy to receive the gift."

"It's just a bracelet, and it's not worth much."

I carefully collect everything he gave me.But is the bracelet I gave him still there?I once took out my heart without reservation and put it in his hand, but he turned his head and threw it away casually.

Xiao Yi, the time spent with you is unforgettable for me, but for you, is it just optional?

Are my feelings so cheap in your eyes?So cheap that you can throw it away?

Why is love so humble?Why can't I open my eyes?Why don't you want to admit it?

What's the use of me cherishing him again?He doesn't care and doesn't need to!

Director Zhang temporarily finished his work on the island and went back to Hangcheng for vacation. Asheng and the others also came back together, visiting the crew of "Allure" from time to time. "The Allure" is about to wrap up, and I suddenly received an anonymous letter, saying that "The Allure" is only the first play, and the second "Yingtai" will modify the plot, increase Xiaoyi's role, and promote Xiaoyi to the leading role. The played emperor will become a supporting character.The director, screenwriter, producer and Xiao Yi all know it, but I am the only one in the dark.

I angrily took the anonymous letter to Xiaoyi to question him.

"You know everything? Don't you? Why didn't you tell me?"

He was very surprised when he saw me: "Ajie, don't get excited! The director said hello to me, but nothing is confirmed, and I didn't take it seriously!"

"You teamed up with them to lie to me?"

"Ajie, what are you talking about? I didn't lie to you at all!"

"Why are you against me?" I yelled at him, bursting out the resentment of being abandoned and let down for a long time.

Why do you always stand in front of me?I want to give up my obsession with you, I want to forget you, and stop looking up to you, but why is everyone helping you against me?

"I can't get along with you?" His eyes shot out a cold and arrogant light: "Why are you crazy?"

Before I came back to my senses, my fist had already smashed through!

I'm crazy, I'm really driven crazy!

I need to find a reason to vent the pain in my heart, and - the resentment of being abandoned!

Yes, it was easier to hate him than to love him!Maybe if you hate him, you can get rid of it?

How can you understand, how can you understand?

I feel like I've reached my limit!

He covered his face and looked at me in disbelief, anger and hatred quickly rose in his eyes.He raised his fist and hit me back.There have been countless sparring sessions on the rooftop, countless collaborations in the movie, and finally this real fight!

Will hurt him?I can't take care of it, I'm in pain too!I've been in pain for so long, it's better to at least let him hurt now than he doesn't care about me at all.Only when my fists and feet landed on him and his fists and feet landed on me can I confirm that this is not an illusion, but reality!

Zhang Dao, Ah Sheng and other crew members on the set all surrounded them.Several dragon and tiger warriors separated us who were struggling.

I looked at everyone's shocked faces and announced loudly: "From now on, I will never cooperate with Lei Yi in filming again!"

Xiao Yi stood behind me and shouted loudly: "There is nothing to be close to such narrow-minded people, let's part ways from now on!"

As soon as he said those words, I seemed to hear a "click" in my heart, and the only remaining fragile thread connecting me with him was finally broken!

Already... I can't hold on any longer!

For a long time, I have been struggling with sadness, bitterness, and contradictions. For a long time, I wanted to let go but was always reluctant. Now, he finally swung the knife down for me, and I can finally make a complete decision!

parted ways!parted ways!From now on, life and death will never be seen!

Everyone stood there motionless, and no one said a word.

I can hear my own footsteps moving, go, go, and never... never look back!

If you can't love, then hate it!

If you can't get it, then give it up completely!

The author has something to say:

1974-75 "Overwhelming Country and Overwhelming City".When I was writing this chapter, I was listening to two songs and felt the lyrics were very heart-wrenching. One was Faye Wong's "Undercurrent". Then I can't open my eyes to see the fate coming, and then the sky is filled with dense clouds again", one is Tang Meijun's "The Strangest Moment of Embracing" "I miss him, but dare not look at him, it is fate that is also an enemy or a friend. Wei Heartbroken, love is hard to come by, how can there be no regrets? There is always a bit of hatred, who is the one you love the most, who is absolutely close? You must love hard, love will breed hatred, and the moment of embracing is the most strange."