restless youth syndrome

Chapter 8

I actually like him a little bit.I thought the two of us were in the same mind, but I didn't know that his understanding of love has been distorted since his first love, and it has become very easy to produce.I didn't know that he had said the same thing to the two people before me, and they were by Zhang Zechen's side as lovers from the beginning to the end, but I was such an exception.At this time, the secret joy in my heart became a little ridiculous-we didn't fall in love only two months ago, but he had two months before he fell in love with me.

And I may be the only one who responds to Zhang Zechen's love. ?

eighth disease

? Do you know the running-in effect?

There are very few examples of people who are born to adapt to each other. Most of them are in getting along with each other.

So feelings are great, everyone changes themselves for each other.

----

After Zhang Zechen said those things to me, I didn't fall asleep almost all night.

Love makes people dizzy, and I can't calmly think about the reasons for this relationship. At that time, the first thought in my mind was that I had Stockholm Syndrome?Why love for someone who just recently abused me and deprived me of my freedom in life?

This is of course love, otherwise how could I be so happy when he expressed his feelings for me.

The fever made me already flushed, which just covered my flushed face, otherwise it would be too embarrassing.

That's right, I like it, I love Zhang Zechen, although I can't explain it clearly, but I think this kind of feeling is called □□□.

Of course I haven't experienced it, so how would I know what love really feels like, but that's all I've heard—it happens unconsciously, and no one can tell what's going on.

I've been thinking about this question all night, do I really love Zhang Zechen, and if so, what should I do next?How to act like a real lover with someone like Zhang Zechen?

I don't even have the experience of falling in love with ordinary people. ． ． ． ． ．

As the saying goes, have you never eaten pork or seen a pig run?From junior high school to high school until now, I have seen a lot of shiny people who show affection, and I can extract some key points from this group of shiny people.

But after I tried it once, I felt that it was not feasible. The whole screen was shining brightly, and I couldn't think about it at all.

So I was so excited that I couldn't sleep all night, my mind was full of fantasies about the future.It was daylight before I fell asleep.

Zhang Zechen got up earlier than me the next day, and when I opened my eyes, I saw a close-up of his smiling face. I looked at my watch, and it was four o'clock in the afternoon.

There was a scent in the room, and there were two dinner plates on the table, one touched and one new—only the milk was missing from the touched one.

It's over, I forgot to make him breakfast.

"Did you sleep late last night?" he asked.

"Well... I fell asleep after you fell asleep."

His hands were covering my forehead. Even though the weather was not cold, his hands were still icy cold. There were calluses on those slender and well-knit hands, which were worn out by guns all the year round. There was also a horizontal line on the wrist, I A deep scar that I have been concerned about for a long time.

Generally, when you see this kind of scar, you will immediately think of it as a wrist cut.But if a right-handed person cuts his wrist, shouldn't the scar be on his left hand?Judging by the depth of the scar, if it is not treated in time, it may lead to death or disability of the right hand. He should have been sent for treatment just after the incision was made.It doesn't make sense to think of cutting his wrists, not to mention that if he wants to die, he can shoot himself in the temple, why bother?

I thought about self/mutilation again, which is quite possible.A person with sadistic tendencies like him is likely to be sadistic to himself at the same time.But this is just conjecture, I haven't asked him how the scar came about, and I don't think he would be willing to mention it.

He touched my forehead, "The fever is gone, you can rest for another day."

When have I ever been so delicate, so I said, "No, I'm not so delicate."

He heheed twice, "If you think it's okay, go out for a walk, don't go to the garden, there are more bees recently."

My attention is all on Zhang Zechen. I found that he is a person who likes to laugh, even when facing guests. He always maintains a gentle and polite smile on his face, but he feels unpredictable. He feels something when he hears it. If there is a word, the first reaction is to laugh, there is a sound but there is no sound, and the most common thing is to laugh with the nose.His smile is not a superficial smile, but a real smile, and he faces everything with a smile. I admire him for being able to laugh at any time.

No, looking at the red mark on my collarbone, he smiled again, "It's already July, why don't you consider asking a tailor to make you a summer dress?"

I heard the malicious intent in his tone, and I pretended to be angry and said, "It's not you! I'm ashamed to face your subordinates outside!"

"What's the matter, they're all dead." He pinched my face, "There's a business party in a few days, do you want to go?"

"where?"

"A hotel in the city center. It's nothing interesting. If you want to go, I'll take you there."

"What's it like?"

"It's all kinds of people pretending to be dogs with different purposes to drink a glass of wine to promote business contacts and talk about things."

What he said made me laugh, this kind of words came out of his mouth very uncoordinated, I laughed and he laughed too, the two of them just laughed like crazy in the room.

Enough laughing, I said, "Then I won't go, what's the fun."

"Of course there is. It's like going to the zoo to feed the animals. They all jump on you, not knowing how ridiculous their behavior is."

"He has something to ask you, how can you describe him like that."

"If I responded to anyone who came to me, wouldn't I become [-]?"

It took me a while to understand what he meant. It was because the first impression he gave me was so bad that I thought about it in another direction. It was definitely not because of my inner lust.

He didn't leave again today, we soaked in his study together, he was dealing with things, and I was flipping through the book.

There are quite a lot of books in his study room, but they are not always used. The side pages of many books are dusty and cannot be wiped.

"Water Margin...do you still read this book?" I turned my head from the ladder and looked down at Zhang Zechen, who was buried in his computer. He was holding an old version of "Water Margin" in his hand. He looked up and didn't care. Said, "I have also been fortunate enough to read a few campus romance novels."

"What? Are you still interested in that?"

He smiled at me and said nothing.

There are not only books on the huge bookcase, but also a variety of documents, and even a diary—thin white paper, the pages of which have turned yellow.

I turned it over and saw that the first page was eight years ago.

March sixteenth.

I met a man of the same age as me. He was very handsome, had no family background, and was very simple. He handed me a bottle of mineral water that he had drunk.

March [-]th.

He greeted me and I responded to him.Through the conversation, I learned that he will return to China during the graduation season next year due to family reasons.What a coincidence, I'm going back home too.

March 27.

He is my junior, he studies very well, it is a pity to give up his studies.

In between are some everyday things, no need to state, the time slips to June.

June [-]th.

It turns out that he is also gay/sexual/homosexual, we have more topics to talk about, and at the same time, I have one more person to talk to.

June fourteenth.

His family situation is very bad, I really feel for him.

June [-]th.

For some reason, I learned that he has no sex/experience yet.

Time to turn to September.

September 21.

His skin is as tender as a woman's. I can't imagine why he has such skin.

September [-]th.

He told me that he will probably go to work normally when he returns to China next year. I think his talent is not limited to this.

December.

We spent Christmas together this year. He gave me a scarf and I gave him a scarf. We both bought the same style at the same time. At twelve o'clock in the middle of the night, we walked on the street together.

The next year will be every other year. Zhang Zechen is a fresh graduate. I guess there are a lot of things to prepare, and the diary has become very few. I directly flipped to the second year of graduation.

August [-]nd.

After everything was settled, I went back to China to continue my dirty work.His family is in a northern city, and I returned to Linchuan, two places away.

August [-]th.

He finally chose to ask me for help. I arranged a very good job for him, and he was very happy. I proposed to fall in love with him, but he rejected me.

Zhang Zechen had already fallen in love with him at this time, and the diary didn't write about the process of the process. I think it should be before Christmas the previous year, right?Zhang Zechen would buy him gifts, which meant that he was already interested in that person.

The unexpected innocence of this relationship may be because Zhang Zechen is still young, or it may be because he really fell in love with that person, or it may be a combination of the two.Judging from the diary, Zhang Zechen cared about that person very much, and even posted the person's class schedule and work and rest habits in the diary.I imagined the scene of Zhang Zechen squatting outside other people's classrooms, and I found it funny and a little bit unwilling.

Suddenly I thought, seven or eight years ago, wasn't this the first love of Zhang Zechen that Ye Yiming told me about?I was so unresponsive.

But that person was killed by Zhang Zechen in the end because that person fell in love with someone else. Thinking of this, I feel better.

When I wanted to continue reading, Zhang Zechen suddenly asked me, "What are you looking at?