Past events in Beicheng

Chapter 26

It's not just him who is looking for it, he sometimes comforts himself like this.There is a special department in Moscow responsible for helping citizens separated during the war find their families. He sometimes goes there to have a look. When he pretends to read the information on the bulletin board, someone will kindly come to comfort him.

"Don't worry, you'll find it."

Sometimes it's an old man, sometimes it's a girl, sometimes it's a soldier.

"Thank you." He would shake hands with the other party, and then continue to hang around here, killing the time he waited for the letter from China.

China, which was only established in [-], is very new. Years of aggressive wars and civil wars have devastated the country. Researcher Qu sometimes complains in his letters that the organization is immature, that some things are too difficult to find, and that he cannot Go directly to Yunnan, and Yunnan may have the greatest hope.

Ivan was a little disappointed every time he read the letter, but he still picked up the pen and wrote back to comfort him, or as if they were comforting each other.

These have become his only pastime. After leaving the noisy office of the Cultural Association every day, he locks himself back home, finds a book to open, and then is in a daze.

Even though he lived in Moscow, he didn't think about going to any parties, and his old comrades in the army thought he had disappeared, even Andrei.

Andre didn't want to see him. After he saw his job change documents, he even wanted to call and scold him, but he couldn't find his phone number.

Do you want to call directly to the Cultural Association?He egged himself on, and then he hit, only to be told that Deputy Secretary Braginski had gone to visit China.

"Ah! Bastard, you actually changed your job to the Cultural Association, you might as well change your job to a fertilizer factory!" Andre kicked the table hard, determined to never see him again in this lifetime.

Three months passed like this, and he wrote a reply to Nanjing, and this was his whole life.

Ivan didn't think anyone would call him, so he didn't have a phone in his new place, so he wasn't prepared to see Andre out of the blue.

Andre looked at him quietly, with a lonely expression, he waved to him: "Why didn't you come yesterday?"

"I have something to do."

"Really? Are you so busy that you didn't even attend your father's funeral?"

Old Ivan was lying quietly among the flowers at the moment, with a red flag covering his body. He was a battle hero in World War I, and he deserved this honor.Beside the flowers, his wife and daughter were talking with Andre's wife, and the three women were comforting each other.His grandson, Ivan's nephew, is already three years old, happily picking flowers from the bushes and inviting Andrei's son to play with him.

Ivan sighed, and walked to the balcony with Andre, and he finally said, "I went to see him when he was seriously ill, and he yelled in the ward, saying that he didn't want to see me, and he didn't want to see me until he died."

Andre pulled a chair and sat down, looking at the guests in the room: "I said... Ivan."

"you say……"

"I got my examination report last week. There is a tumor in my body, do you understand?" Andre looked at his wife when he said this: "It's cancer."

"..."

"Are you still looking for your international student?" Andre tried to change his tone as relaxed as possible: "I heard that you went to Nanjing, how, did you find it?"

"..."

"Ah! I didn't find it!" Andre bit his lip, thinking about the words: "I hurt too many people," he looked at his wife again: "I have a bad temper, but I know , I don't mean to hurt anyone, maybe even your international students, but I can't help it, it's bad. She's a good girl, the best girl in the world, but I made her miserable. You know Well, we're actually getting divorced soon."

"..." Ivan looked at Andre, they had been together for many years, they would quarrel at any time, they might fight, he never thought it was abnormal, but in fact it was abnormal.

"I don't know when I became like this, maybe I watched too many pictures of other people's brains splashing in the scope." Andre took out a cigarette and lit it: "Ivan, we are all Ruined, you lost your chance to love, and I was with my lover, but I just made her more unfortunate. No, maybe you are okay, isn’t the foreign student with beautiful eyes still alive? If you find him, you Live well."

Ivan took the cigarette out of his mouth, stubbed it out, and threw it on the ground.

"It's too late, Ivan, it's too late for me, it's too late for my marriage, my family, my life. I didn't tell her about my illness. I deserve it. I'm going to The only thing I can do is not to divorce, so that she and her children can enjoy the treatment of military officers' families. This is the only thing I can do for them. They should not suffer any more pain. She can remarry after I die, and love her Fortunately, it didn't take long, fortunately." Andre looked at the cigarette butts on the ground: "Let's not fight today, shall we?"

"I don't beat the sick."

"Nonsense, I won't fight at other people's funerals." Andre smiled at him: "How is Nanjing?"

Ivan thought for a moment, took out his wallet, and took out a piece of paper: "Do you still remember the lyrics he wrote to me back then? I found a Chinese to help me interpret it. I think he must be waiting for me. It's a pity There are too few clues, and the files on his studies in Germany should be complete, and if he can go to Germany to check, it may be more hopeful."

"Actually, he's not bad," Andre blinked his gray-blue eyes: "Do you know why I followed you that day?"

Ivan looked at his lyrics and shook his head.

"In the most critical moment, the first person you think of must be your lover. But it's a man, so I have to make sure that I will send you to be shot if necessary."

"You are really a qualified political cadre, you can see it, why don't you send me to be shot?"

"He's not annoying, you know, he's not annoying, he's even cute," Andre made an exaggerated expression: "His black eyes are beautiful, it's true, but his expression is disgusting , full of love, tsk tsk."

Ivan looked at Andre, it was still difficult for him to connect the terminal illness with the man in front of him. They had been born and died together for too many years, and he couldn't tell how many times who had saved who, or how many times who had beaten whom.They felt to each other that there was no friendship between them, but in fact it would be friendship if there were no war.

"Ivan," Andre hugged his knees: "Actually, I don't understand you very well, hehe, two men, it's not disgusting, but if I give you a sofa, you and the foreign students, who will play the girl? Really Kind of disgusting."

The balcony door was suddenly opened, and then slammed shut, the sound startled the guests to look sideways.

Andre's half-outstretched hand froze in the air. He could have held him and told him that he had no malice, but his body was in severe pain at this moment, making the possibility of the last reconciliation come to naught.

A month later, a woman in black veil knocked on Ivan's door.

"I am Andre's wife. This is the letter he entrusted me to give you before he died."

Ivan's hand trembled, and he took the envelope.

'This is the call from the head of Soviet East Germany, he will help you.He owes me a great deal, and if the time comes, you're welcome.Perhaps, war is doomed to make the dead unable to die, and it is difficult for the living to find salvation, but I hope you can find salvation and join me for my share.

Andrei Alexandrovich Krinovsky'

"Can I hug you?" Ivan felt his eyes blur.

"can."

"He loves you." Ivan broke down in tears.

"I know." The woman wearing a black veil choked up: "I know everything."

In [-], West German leader Adenauer visited Moscow, and an ambassadorial dialogue between Germany and the Soviet Union was finally established.This gave Ivan a glimmer of hope. After all, Stuttgart was in West Germany, and the international situation made this not-too-distant place feel as if it was not in this world.Ten years have passed since the war, yet the world is still divided into many pieces.

Andrei's friend received him, but he said that he could not help Ivan go to West Germany: "It is too sensitive, comrade, and now is never the time. I can only rely on my ambassadorship to contact the university on your behalf. , all I can say is that I look forward to hearing back."

What about America?Sometimes Ivan would think of Professor Belyayev. This is actually his greatest hope. The professor is still alive and has arrived in the United States. He must know the situation of Wang Yao, but the cold US-Soviet relationship prevented him from contacting him. he.

Counting him to be in his 70s, Ivan sighed. He walked alone on the streets of Moscow, walking through waiting, hope, disappointment, waiting, hope, and disappointment.He lingered like this, and ten years passed like this.

Now no one introduces him to lovers anymore, maybe the new girls from the Cultural Association will sneak a few glances at him, but the old colleagues will laugh at them: Is the secretary very handsome?But the secretary is over 40 years old, you little girls, go find young people.

Yes, Ivan is already the secretary, and the old secretary has retired, so the Cultural Association has postponed this position to him.Ivan looked at the documents every day, and then talked about the content of the documents at the meeting of writers, until one day, the atmosphere of the meeting changed a little.

Some of Khrushchev’s viewpoints seem to have been strongly criticized by the Chinese leaders. Words such as “revision” and “anti-revision” began to appear in the meetings of the Association for the Arts and Cultural Association. They began to argue for “Stalin” and for “He Ruchev" and "communism and the personality cult".In 1960, China and the Soviet Union tore apart their faces at the Bucharest Conference, and then he never received a letter from Nanjing.

This made him feel anxious, because the efforts of the Nanjing Archives have actually been continuing. No matter how much workload there is, they are still organizing personnel to check the materials one by one, from Beijing to Tianjin, and even to Guangzhou.Letters from Nanking kept bringing disappointment, but never a word of giving up.

The researcher surnamed Qu did as he promised: I will help you.

However, personal efforts could not hold back the changing international situation. In July, the Soviet Union recalled all experts, and China and the Soviet Union officially announced a break.This is something Ivan did not expect, he never imagined that such a situation would happen in China and the Soviet Union.

Will this relationship end soon?Like we have an occasional fight?

We did quarrel, but we have forgotten why, probably because of various doctrines?After an argument you ask me if I want to go to the library or I throw a wet towel on your head.Then, we made up.

China and the Soviet Union have not reconciled, and have never reconciled.

The news was interrupted for ten years, and it was another ten years.

In 1970, Elizabeth came to the end of her life. She looked at her son in front of the hospital bed and held his hand in her arms: "Vanya, haven't you found that Chinese girl yet?"

Ivan nodded.

Elizabeth closed her eyes wearily: "Vanya, dear, I actually don't understand why you and your father are like this. You two broke my heart, and he himself broke my heart."

"Mom... I'm sorry."

"You are not sorry to me. Sometimes I will make some guesses, but no matter what the result is, it will not affect you as my proud son. You are from Leningrad, but you are also a Cossack, Do you know what your father did to marry me?" Elizabeth smiled: "He found me across the whole of Russia. It was during World War I. In the era when trains were scarce, Russia was really big. As big as the world."

"Look, find her." Elizabeth took out the diamond brooch from her arms: "Give this to her and tell her that I love her."

Elizabeth's funeral was an Orthodox funeral, because she had always been a devout believer. Ivan stood in the church and supported his sister. He finally understood why his father didn't explain anything to his mother, because she was a believer. protect her.

He took it all on his own, just like I did.

Ivan kissed his sister, and then he found that her sister was old, and he was old too.

In [-], he retired from the Cultural Association, he decided to leave his residence in Moscow.After returning to Leningrad, he went to the Tomb of the Martyrs, found Torres' name, and presented him with a bouquet of flowers.He doesn't remember much of the other students in the class. In [-], the Budyonny Military Communication Academy did not hold a graduation ceremony, and he didn't even have a single photo.

Nevsky Prospekt is still there, and has long been restored to prosperity, but the photo studio has turned into a women's clothing store at some point. When Ivan passes by, he will take a look, then go for a haircut, buy a piece of cherry cake, and then go to the cafe sit for a while.

The still time reduced all memories to torture. He looked at the empty booth in front of him, at the snow outside the window, at his trembling hands and coffee cup.

When summer came, he drove to the villa in Green City.

"You're welcome, so you won't smell like hospital alcohol. After all, today is your 24th birthday, Braginsky, happy birthday." Ivan took out the wine in his bag, took a sip, and continued Say to yourself: "No, I am 60 years old this year, Wang Yao, I am already 60 years old."

He took out the key, opened the door, walked quickly past the study, and walked into the bedroom.

The German army did not pass by here. Most of the buildings in Greentown are well preserved. Many people have renovated their own buildings, except for Braginski's family. He has fled here for too long.

After putting away his luggage, he sat in front of the bed and finished the bottle of wine in his hand, and then took another bottle.After taking a few sips, he realized that he was going to start talking to himself again, so he said to himself: "Oops, Wang Yao, I often talk to myself like a lunatic now, do you think I am Just going crazy, God, who wouldn't go crazy."

"I don't dare to stay in the room anymore," Ivan shuffled, and walked out of the room: "I'm not crazy, you see, I still remember to lock the door. You are very bad at this, hehehe, you always Forget, do you think I can beat all the people who come in?"

The weather outside was sultry, and swallows flew by at low altitude. Ivan didn't know where he was going, so he walked casually with his wine bottle in his hand: "There are too few people. It seems that too many people died in the war. On the outskirts of Leningrad, I kicked a bone while walking. Who knows if it is a Soviet bone or a German bone. I am still alive, but now I am a cute crazy old man. Seeing me like this , Wang Yao, do you still like me? How much you like me! I don’t want to leave Leningrad because of me, I don’t want to leave this hell! This used to be heaven! But it has become hell! It has always been hell! Do you want to come back here? Will you miss it when you are in China? You will??? You will!!!”

Ivan yelled, he yelled towards the lake in front of him, and yelled hysterically: "God, I lost everything! I lost everything, why am I still alive! Why am I still alive! "

The rolling thunder of summer suddenly exploded!It's pouring rain!

"Go down! Go down! Go down at will! Just like the bombs that day, densely packed! Why didn't you blow me up that day! Why did you save me! Wang Yao! Let me die! I hate you! You let me So painful! So many years of suffering! I don’t know how long it will last! Let me die!”

Holding his wine bottle, Ivan staggered into the lake: "What about you? Are you still alive? Are you going to die? You won't die! Your motherland is still there! Why do you die! China The People's Republic of China was founded in [-]! China is not dead! China is not dead!"

The heavy rain connected the sky and the earth together, and the lightning flashed across the dark sky, the colors were weird and dazzling.

"If you die, you will fail your father, your motherland, and me..." Ivan looked at the sky and murmured, "I'm tired, Wang Yao, I'm tired... ...I can't find you, let me die."

He sat in the lake and continued to drink. He felt that the lake was rising rapidly due to the heavy rain, and gradually covered his knees and covered his chest.

"Let me die."

He wanted to just fall asleep in the lake, with the warmth of drinking, and fall asleep forever like this.But the coldness of the lake water gradually began to stimulate his will, he didn't seem to be drunk at all, a voice asked him: Do you want to give up?Honey, are you giving up?If that's the case, I won't be able to find you, never will ever be able to find you...

…Tears welled up in his eyes, and he cried like a child.Then he stood up from the lake and walked back to the shore, looking at the muddy water, holding the wine bottle, shivering.

The rain stopped, the sun's rays came down gently, the birds began to sing, and the wind began to smell fresh.

Ivan stood up from the sand, and he was surprised to find that this was the lake where he sang for him back then. A woodpecker stopped on a tree and looked at him for a while, then flew away.

He took a sip of wine unconsciously, and found that the bottle was full of rainwater.

So he wasn't drunk.

With tears streaming down his face, he smiled and said, "It was you who mixed water into my wine! Wang Yao! Are you still living for me!"