Heart has a thousand knots

Chapter 26

.My heart has always been filled with sorrow, just like the fallen leaves on the street, one piece after another, endlessly.Love, is it a hypnosis?The one who is loved is like a master of spirits, and the one who loves loses his soul.In every sincere relationship, is there always someone who sacrifices his soul and reaps cruelty?

While walking, he deleted several text messages with the same number, and the name was displayed as "Liang Bingyu".Thinking of Jiang Qiuyue waiting for me at home, my heart warmed a lot.Yueyue, in this kind of relationship called love, can we always be like this-to become lovers, and there is no doubt about both affection and love.Accompanied by one heart until old age, never parting from each other?

(39) Who sees you alone

I accidentally discovered that Jiang Qiuyue entered the stock market.That day, Jiang Qiuyue took a few people from the business department out.Xiucai let me into her office to get a document.On her desk, the computer was turned on, and the screen was full of ups and downs of the stock market curve.

When she was at home, she always switched the TV to the financial channel inadvertently, and didn't watch much of the Korean dramas she always liked.

Perhaps, because of my liberal arts background, I have never been interested in digital things.The stock market is too complicated for me.One thing I know is that this market is like a vast ocean, sometimes calm and sometimes turbulent, but before it sets off a turbulent wave, there are often no signs.

I didn't ask her about stocks.However, she could feel that her mood was ups and downs following that curve, albeit subtly.

One night, I asked about stocks.She didn't answer, it was a tacit consent.I never ask about the company's affairs or economic issues, nor do I participate in them.I don't know anything about the company's financial office.It's just that this stock market makes people feel inexplicable fear.I'm worried that Jiang Qiuyue will be caught firmly.

Everyone likes money, and I am no exception.However, I am not interested in taking too much risk to obtain excess profits, such as walking on thin ice, such a thrilling game.

Knowing that I was worried, she comforted me and said: It's okay, I don't invest much, so don't worry.When we have more money, we can retire early and enjoy our life.

I have realized Jiang Qiuyue's self-determination courage a long time ago.

When work is a little easier, going to Die Lian Hua is my favorite way to relax.While drinking tea, he listened to Han Shu playing the piano.Even if you just stay inside quietly and look at all kinds of women inside, it is a rare tranquility.

Before coming to Shanghai, I once felt that only I was different from others.I often feel confused and even nervous because the person I like is the same gender as myself.In Dielianhua, there is a sense of security that cannot be experienced elsewhere.

On the third day after I met Liang Bingyu, Xiaobai went to order a bouquet of 11 bright roses.In order to see Liang Bingyu for the last time, she followed behind the flower-giver's car. The car was speeding all the way, and Xiao Bai stumbled all the way.When his strength was exhausted, Xiaobai collapsed on the ground, looking at the sky with blurred tears.

The flower-giver told Liang Bingyu that the flower-buyer followed the car for a long way.Liang Bingyu signed in a daze, then frantically called Xiaobai...

Later, what I saw in Die Lian Hua was the most beautiful part of this true love story: Xiao Bai stayed in the store to help Han Shu in the store, and while he was busy, he looked at Liang Bingyu. Liang Bingyu looked indifferent, but in those eyes , but cannot hide the light of love.

When Jiang Qiuyue and I appeared together in Die Lian Hua, Xiao Bai would always exaggerate his greetings: "Hey, the diamond couple is here."

I don't care about Xiaobai's ridicule.Several times, Jiang Qiuyue and Han Shu whispered in the room.This makes me a little worried, which is far better than my anxiety about her getting involved in the stock market.

Han Shu will not be the source of my hidden worries, but she is still connected to another person.This person, even in a foreign country thousands of miles away, can still affect Jiang Qiuyue's joy and sorrow.Even, I think, this person may be like a butterfly's wings, with a slight flap, Jiang Qiuyue's emotional world is enough to create a whirlwind.

When I woke up in the middle of the night, I closed my eyes and stretched my hands to the other side of the bed. What I touched was cold air.

When I woke up, I saw Jiang Qiuyue's back in a nightgown on the balcony, like a cool ink painting.In the darkness, cigarette butts flickered on and off.

Looking at her from afar, I didn't step forward.I admit that in the emotional world, I am a relatively passive and sensitive person.When I feel that there is someone between us, what I am best at is watching silently instead of fighting for it with my heart.

Jiang Qiuyue smoked more and more.

One night before falling asleep, Jiang Qiuyue stroked my forehead with her fingers, then across my face, and looked at me quietly.In the winter of this year, the number of times the two of us made out was few and far between.This woman who once made me so passionate seems to be slowly leaving me.Even at this moment, her slender fingers rise and fall over and over again on my cheeks, neck, and chest, like playing a piano.All I can feel is the coolness from her fingertips.Like the keys of a piano that has been in disrepair for a long time, the melody of love cannot be played high.

In the future, smoke less, I said, no matter how elegant the posture is, it can only be admired, but the smell of cigarettes left behind is always disliked.

She said "OK" and stopped talking.Silence has kidnapped us again.

Getting along face to face only made me feel the melancholy of being alone.A short distance away, but a world-like distance.

The winter of 07 was extremely cold and extremely long.

During the Spring Festival, we returned to our respective hometowns.Leaving Jiang Qiuyue made me very uncomfortable.At home, I take my mobile phone every day, turn it on and off again after a while.Before going to bed every night, I would say a few words to her, and regard it as a homework that must be reviewed before going to bed.

After we separated, it was obvious that I was alone, but it still made me feel like I couldn't get rid of the two of us.

In the cold winter wind, I stood alone by the Anlan Suo Bridge, and the wind messed with my hair.At this time last year, I held her hand and told her that the bridge was called "Husband and Wife Bridge", and she said I made it up.I asked her: If we get separated in the future and you want to find me, you can come to this bridge.As for me, where can I find you?Jiang Qiuyue laughed and scolded me for thinking wildly, and was born with a melancholic temperament of a poet.I ignored her sneer and insisted on her answer.She lowered her head and thought for a while, then said, let's go to the Jade Buddha Garden, where there is the tallest Jade Buddha in the world.

Although last year, I asked seriously, but in my heart, I didn't want the truth to come true.

It is said that Xiaobie is better than newlyweds, and I am looking forward to returning to Shanghai, and our relationship will recover.

The truth is not what I expected.Between us, there are many people who respect each other as guests, but what we lack is mutual affection.Our love seems to be drowning, and I can only watch it sink little by little.

Perhaps, as a certain poet said, the two of us became tired after watching, and the starlight faded.So, do we really disperse while walking?

([-]) It's better to be drunk than to have a way

March [-]th, my birthday.After get off work, I went out to eat with Jiang Qiuyue.

Before the food was served, a person stood in front of me with a bunch of lavender irises in his hand, smiling: "Is Shen Momo?" I nodded.He handed me the flowers.

Jiang Qiuyue smiled on the other side, but said nothing.In the bouquet, there are two tickets to the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games.There are no cards.

I was stunned, Jiang Qiuyue reached out and held my hand: "Momo, happy birthday!"

Those two tickets were obtained by Chen Zijian's trustees.Jiang Qiuyue solemnly told me that when the opening ceremony is held, no matter how busy we are, we will go to Beijing together.

Jiang Qiuyue's earnest look was as moving as her charming appearance when she was drunk.

I have never been to the north, let alone Beijing.To me, Beijing is the majestic portrait of Chairman Mao, the spacious city hall, the solemn Great Hall of the People, etc., which are radiant images in primary school textbooks for the first grade.

Later, I thought, Jiang Qiuyue's move was from the bottom of her heart to repair our relationship.That bouquet of little irises has been blooming in my memory.I asked Xiaoman, and she told me that the flower language of Little Iris is "to resist together, to be of the same heart".

I am purely happy, along the route of the calendar, towards the opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympic Games.

The mountains and rivers have returned, and the feelings that used to have nowhere to go, now, it can be regarded as a bright future, right?

One night at the end of March, Jiang Qiuyue and I were leaning on the sofa and watching TV.Anita Mui's singing sounded, but "Women's Flower" became "Love You Thousands of Times in My Life".After kissing her in public that day, her ringtone has been changed to this song.After opening it and taking a look, Jiang Qiuyue turned off the phone again.

After a while, the singing sounded again.Jiang Qiuyue looked at me, I held the remote control panel, gave her a casual look, then turned to face the TV.

"Going out?" I said, "Come back early."

Jiang Qiuyue got up and kissed me on the forehead: "Got it, don't wait for me. Go to bed early." Then she opened the door and went straight downstairs.

Standing on the balcony, watching her car slowly drive towards the gate of the community, she was inexplicably lost, just like the night outside, too thick to be resolved.

At twelve o'clock, Jiang Qiuyue did not come back.At two o'clock, Jiang Qiuyue still hadn't come back.In the early morning, in a daze, I fell asleep on the sofa.

When Jiang Qiuyue woke me up, it was already bright outside.My body was covered with a blanket.As for when Jiang Qiuyue came back, I don't know, and I didn't ask.

My work efficiency has obviously been compromised.When discussing the case, my thoughts wandered far away. When I came back to my senses, I saw Xiucai and Yu Xiaoman looking at me as if they were aliens.

Jiang Qiuyue's answer