Dream or truth...

Chapter 19

Chapter 19

After dinner, Yamada hid in the room by himself abnormally. The reason given to his family was that he was too tired recently and wanted to rest early, but in fact, although he was lying down, he couldn't fall asleep at all.

From the day he confessed to Yuxiang, many mornings, Yamada woke up with a wet pillow, and sometimes he would have the urge to scratch his wrist when looking at the utility knife glowing coldly on the table.

But he, Ryosuke Yamada, was not born for love. Love should not be the whole of his life. Even without love, he can live a good life. It’s just that he feels a little lonely when he sees other couples holding hands and smiling happily. .

Life is always imperfect, and this is the real life, isn't it?

At least I've loved seriously and been loved by many people, even if I don't have love, it doesn't matter... right?

It has been a long time since I had dinner with Arioka and the others, because I will definitely be persuaded to try to accept Yuxiang again.

In fact, it's not that he doesn't love anymore. Only Ryosuke knows that his love for Yuxiang has never changed.

But Yuxiang can no longer give him that sense of security. He doesn't know when he will be abandoned by Yuxiang again.

Yuxiang's most important person's self-confidence.

But he also clearly understands that if this state continues, he will definitely accept Yuxiang again.

Because I never know how to reject him...

So please ask Shenmu to play a play with himself.

After all, long-term pain is worse than short-term pain... right?

After school, Ryosuke and Shenmu called respectively to report to their families that they were staying at a friend's place tonight and would not go home.

Ryosuke hesitated for a moment when asked by his sister who he was going to, and finally reported Yuxiang's name.The family members don't know about themselves and Yuxiang, so they shouldn't ask too many questions, right?

Sure enough, when she heard that she was going to Yuxiang's house, my sister was very relieved and didn't continue to ask, but just told him not to trouble others and be polite.

Agreeing to hang up the line, pretending to turn around inadvertently, Ryosuke caught a glimpse of that person still following him from the corner of the eye, and Ryosuke evoked a bitter smile.

I'm afraid that at the beginning, none of them thought that one day they would use Yuxiang's attention to hurt him.

Without any hesitation, he walked into the hotel with Shenmu and opened a room. Ryosuke could almost picture Yuxiang's shocked expression behind him in his mind.

After entering the room, Ryosuke didn't say anything, just lay on the bed and looked at the ceiling thinking about himself.

Yuxiang should have left, right?Are you disappointed in yourself?

Will you be sad?Will... cry...?

As long as he thinks of that boy who smiles like sunshine and frowns sadly, Ryosuke's heart seems to be grabbed, but the matter has come to this point, after all, it is irreparable, right?

"Yamada-kun?" Recalling his thoughts, Ryosuke put on an apologetic smile, but was taken aback by Shenmu's face that was so close.

"Shenmu-kun?" Reflexively dodged backwards, halfway through this movement, he felt that it seemed impolite, but Ryosuke could only freeze there, not knowing what to do.

"Yamada-kun is so cute~~" Seeing Ryosuke's panicked look, Shenmu couldn't help laughing, and stretched out his hand to brush away a strand of hair that was in front of Ryosuke.

"Shen... Lord Shenmu?" This look is too embarrassing now, she is leaning on the bed with her elbows facing Shenmu, and Shenmu is propping up on the bed with one hand, while stroking her hair with the other hand...

"Yamada-kun, you've been unhappy recently, is it because of Nakajima-kun?"

"Mr. Shenmu... can you get up first?"

Shenmu ignored him: "I have liked Yamada-kun for a long time~ When I was filming Tan Q, I fell in love with Yamada-kun when I saw him smiling, but Yamada-kun smiled the most when he was talking about Nakajima-kun, so There is no way to say it all the time, but now, he let you

I'm crying...so can Yamada-kun give me a chance?Yamada-kun, it's better to smile..."

Ryosuke opened his eyes wide in surprise, and then smiled softly: "I'm sorry, I don't think I can fall in love with anyone anymore. It's too unfair to promise you, isn't it? Shenmu-jun is a very gentle person , Therefore, there must be someone better than me who is worthy of Shenmu-kun's love, Shenmu-kun is a good friend to me..."

Then suddenly heard the door being pushed open very hard, Yuxiang just stood there, looking at them expressionlessly.

Seeing such an ambiguous look... Yuxiang, he will definitely give up on himself completely, right?

That's the end, isn't it good?

But Yuxiang didn't rush out the door as Ryosuke expected, but pulled the Shenmu away roughly, pulled himself up and walked out.

Looking at the backs of Ryosuke and Yuxiang, Shenmu didn't seem to be affected much, and calmly packed his things and prepared to leave.Then there was such a text message displayed on the phone: "How? BY Kanoduo", two simple words, but Shenmu still saw that person's worry.

"Well, they should be fine. Kanodo, can I stay at your house today?" After pondering for a while, Shenmu sent such a text message.

I knew the relationship between Yamada and Nakajima from the beginning, and at the beginning, I just didn't want them to miss each other.And myself, I also have the happiness that I want to seize.

Seeing Ryosuke and Shenmu walking into the hotel, Yuxiang's neatly manicured nails pierced deeply into the palm of his hand.

Even though Ryosuke made it clear that he would not forgive him, he never thought that Ryosuke would be with someone else...

Standing at the door of the hotel, even though it was already warm and even hot in June, Yu Xiang still felt chills all over.

Should you turn around and leave?If it was the past, I would definitely do this.

But if you keep avoiding it, you will end up with nothing.

Taking a deep breath and trying to calm himself down, Yuxiang walked in. The receptionist was chanting something in a low voice, listening carefully, she seemed to be saying, "How could it be Shenliang... how could it be Shenliang?" cold……"

==?

Not understanding what she was talking about, Yuxiang asked politely: "Excuse me, can you tell me which room the two boys who just came in live in?"

"You belong to them..." The lady at the front desk answered listlessly and raised her head, but when she saw him, she suddenly became enlightened, and instantly became energized, and handed out the key directly, "Both Located in room 509~~~”

No time to pay attention to why she would give him the key without hesitation. After thanking him, Yuxiang went straight

I ran to the destination, but I didn't see the satisfied smile of the girl behind me: "Just say, how could it be Shenliang? Sure enough, Daoliang is the highest."

When he opened the door, he saw Shenmu leaning over to look at Ryosuke, and Ryosuke was smiling gently at him.

Yuxiang felt that his mind exploded with a "boom", he threw away Shenmu regardless, and rushed out with Ryosuke.

Although Ryosuke behind him kept asking where he was going in panic, Yuxiang just grabbed his wrist and walked forward quickly.

He didn't know what to say, and he couldn't speak anymore, because in such a mood, if he spoke, he would definitely hurt Ryosuke.

Obviously they love each other, right?Why do they always hurt each other?

But seeing such a scene, there is no way to calm down. Yuxiang just wants to bring the person he likes home, and even wants to imprison him by his side so that he can never leave again.

Back at the empty home, Yuxiang threw Ryosuke hard on the bed, and then kissed him hard.

The violent, terrifyingly possessive kiss left Ryosuke almost breathless.

The buttons of the uniform jacket and shirt were ripped open, and the belt was fumbled off. Ryosuke knew better than anyone what would happen next.

Exactly the same action as when Yuxiang was drugged...

He closed his beautiful eyes, and the crystal tears fell into his temples along the corners of his eyes.

Nakajima Yuto, another hurt, is that the way you love me?You must be willing to force me to transfer to another school, drop out of the club, move, and never see you again before you will be reconciled?

I was actually moved by your tiny actions before... I must be really an idiot, right?

While thinking this way, the person on his body stopped suddenly, gently wiped away Ryosuke's tears, arranged his clothes for him, said in a low voice "I'm sorry..." then gently closed the door and backed out.

In the room, Ryosuke's tears couldn't stop falling.

Finally let go of him, did you really decide to give up?

Although that was originally his goal, but when he really reached this point, his heart ached so hard that he couldn't control himself.

Because he was afraid of getting hurt, he refused to accept Yuxiang, but he was selfish and didn't want him to leave his side. He felt that such a self was so despicable, and it seemed that he didn't deserve to be loved like that at all.

Outside the door, Yuxiang leaned against the door and remained silent.

They were almost going to hurt Ryosuke again, if Ryosuke hadn't cried out, what would have happened to them...?Ryosuke, you will never forgive yourself for the rest of your life, will you?

But what should I do now...

I really like Ryosuke, but how can I get it back...