Jiang Hao

Chapter 30

Want to go to his house.

Jiang Hao stood in front of me, "Drink too much?"

"No..." I felt uneasy in my heart, and my eyes swept into the room, "Is anyone there?"

"..." Jiang Hao frowned slightly without saying a word.

Today is Christmas Eve, and most of the friends around me have their own activities.It was abnormal for Jiang Hao to stay at home.When I knocked on the door, I was ready to wait for him at his door, "Why don't you talk?" I raised my voice.

Jiang Hao said helplessly: "You drink like this, go home quickly."

I was reluctant and insisted on entering the house to see what happened, "I'm not going home tonight."

"Sun Yikun..." Jiang Hao spoke with restraint, the short three words were full of helplessness.He put his hand on my chest very hard.

During the confrontation, the sound of footsteps in the room, from far to near.

"Xiaohao?" Yuan Rui stood at the end of the corridor in the hallway, eyes bleary.

He was wearing Jiang Hao's pajamas, looking at me lazily, completely unresponsive to the current situation.

Jiang Hao turned his head to look at Yuan Rui, "Are you awake?"

Yuan Rui looked at me intently, and soon remembered the "fate" between me and him.He became vigilant and took a few steps, "Are you all right?"

"Go and rest, it's okay." Jiang Hao shook his head.

Yuan Rui looked at me and stopped moving.

Ridiculous, this thing is too ridiculous.

Once upon a time, it was me standing behind Jiang Hao, and Yuan Rui was blocking the door by him.

Causal loops, reversed positions, indescribably ridiculous.

39

The next day, I woke up in my own bed at home with a splitting headache.

I remember what happened last night.When I saw Yuan Rui at Jiang Hao's house, I said to Jiang Hao angrily, "You really don't deserve a fuck."

These words angered Yuan Rui, before Jiang Hao could speak, he rushed towards me.Jiang Hao turned around to block him, shaking his head.

"Go back," Jiang Hao turned to me and said, also looking exhausted, "stop making trouble."

It was all over, and the moment I opened my eyes, there was a dead silence in my heart.

For Jiang Hao, for myself, it's all over.

Getting tired out of bed, I got dressed and walked out of the room.

My father didn't go to work, but sat on the sofa and watched me.My mother brought me breakfast, and I sat at the dining table waiting for my father to speak.

I made a ridiculous phone call last night and ran home a few hours later in embarrassment.Unexpectedly, the old man avoided talking about this series of actions.He got up from the sofa, sat down in front of me, and had breakfast with me.

My father and I looked at each other for a few seconds, without saying a word, and lowered our heads to eat.Looking at the porridge my mother prepared in the bowl, I suddenly had the urge to cry.

After the Spring Festival, at the beginning of March, the time for me to go abroad has been determined.

In the last few months in China, my state of confusion has not changed.

The application turned out badly, not far from what I had in mind.

At the beginning, I followed the advice of the intermediary and added several schools with preparatory programs to all the applications.

Father had objections to this matter at first, but when the result came out, he had no choice but to nod in acquiescence.I will enroll a few months earlier than normal graduate students, take preparatory courses, and pass the exam before I can officially start graduate courses.

In the last semester of senior year, the school only has graduation projects to complete.

Calculating the time, I may not even get my undergraduate diploma when I go abroad.The graduation certificate required for graduate registration can only be sent to me by my parents during the summer vacation to ensure admission in the fall.

I learned from my father that Jiang Hao has already contacted where he will go after graduation.

It is said that a familiar professor served as a guest in Europe and contacted everything for Jiang Hao.

After Jiang Hao came back from the exchange, he told me about this matter. Over the past few years, he has moved forward according to his own ideas, and the direction has never changed.

I didn't ask about the details of this incident. When my father talked about it, his tone was very approving. I didn't want to hear more, and I didn't think it had anything to do with me.

Before leaving, I met with friends from the past in turn.

Some people didn't get in touch very much at first, but when they thought that they might only come back once a year, they felt inexplicably sad and felt that they should see each other.

At the end of May, I met Lu Zhengyang unexpectedly at the dinner.I was having dinner with some of my college classmates at the time, and Jason called me and asked to bring me something.When he came over, Lu Zhengyang was with him.

When Lu Zhengyang saw me, he nodded and showed no expression on his face.

He looks annoyed at me, and I feel disgusted at him too.Jason handed me the things, and turned his head to exchange greetings with the rest of the people at the dinner table.Lu Zhengyang took the opportunity to approach me and said contemptuously, "I tell you, Jiang Hao and Yuan Rui are not together, Jiang Hao is going abroad too, and Yuan Rui has already left this city."

I don't know Lu Zhengyang's mentality when he said this, I don't think he matched Jiang Hao and me out of kindness.He probably knew about my farce at the gate of Jiang Hao’s house on Christmas Eve, so he came here to mock my behavior.

I smiled and answered flatly, "It's none of my business." I didn't mean to hate him...I've come to this point, the past is over.When Lu Zhengyang talks about this now, it doesn't have any influence on me.

Bought a plane ticket and packed our luggage.I didn't let my parents send me to Beijing. The school was at the end of the semester, my father was very busy, and my mother was sentimental. I was afraid that she would feel uncomfortable watching me leave.

I arrived in Beijing one day earlier and walked around the streets of the motherland alone.I thought about a lot of things and didn't sleep well at night.

Early the next morning, I checked in with two big luggage.

Sitting in the terminal, I stared blankly at the plane outside the window.

The mobile phone is in my hand, and from time to time a friend sends a text message of "safe voyage".I replied one by one, but I felt that I was always waiting for something.

Waiting for Jiang Hao? …no.

Thinking about it carefully, when I first met Jiang Hao, he pushed me away.

When he communicates back, we will have a chance to be together.

The time when Yuan Rui bothered him was when the distance between us was the closest.

Unfortunately, since then, my relationship has plummeted like a waterfall, and Ren Jianghao's repeated overtures have not improved.

Jiang Hao and I missed it... Or, there was never a point in time that could be described as 'right' between us.

The way he made me feel, I cherish.

As for the pain I caused him, I hope he can forget it soon.

I couldn't help but think of Xiao Cai, and the feelings that were destroyed by me.

Today, when I think of the "feelings" of the past, I only have Cai Xia in my heart.

Looking at the phone screen, I hesitated for a long time, and finally called Xiao Cai.

Cai Xia picked up the phone, and I said, "I'm leaving..."

"..." Xiao Cai was silent for a moment, probably not understanding why I said these four words in a tone of informing him, "Be careful." He responded with four words with difficulty and complexity.

"Hmm..." I thought for a while, took a deep breath, "Xiao Cai...sorry, what happened before..."

Before I finished speaking, Cai Xia interrupted me, "Sun Yikun, can you answer a few questions for me?"

"what?"

"When were you with that person?"

"... "

"Did you decide to go abroad because you wanted to be with him all the time?"

"... "

"Did you not tell me that when you were going abroad, did you always plan your future life with him?"

"... "

"Why don't you speak?"

I don't know what to say, what Cai Xia heard from Lu Zhengyang, what he noticed, how to speak...

After a long time, silence prevailed.

Cai Xia said lightly, "Sun Yikun...I'm glad you're leaving..."

"... "

"I'm glad I didn't know there was a human being at the time..."

"... "

"Sun Yikun, don't look for me anymore...I hate you."

After speaking, he hung up the phone.

When the busy tone came, I couldn't cry.

Everyone sitting in the terminal looked at me sideways, the tears on their cheeks couldn't be stopped, the choked emotions were held in their chests, and it was difficult to breathe.

I'm about to embark on a new journey, and the last familiar phone call ends with 'I hate you'.

Suddenly, I understood Jiang Hao's feelings back then. When Yuan Rui said 'I hate you' to him, he should be so heart-piercing.

When the boarding announcement sounded in my ear, I turned off my phone and wiped away my tears.

what did I do?What have I been doing all these years?

do not know…

40 Postscript

This story was originally written in late 2014. I stopped because of various things in 15 years.

Sun Yikun and I have known each other since we were young. Because of our parents, we rolled mud together in the school compound when we were not in school.

When I went to school, I was in the same class as him, and the relationship has always been very good.

In my heart, Sun Yikun is always the little boy with snot in his childhood.He hasn't changed much from my perspective over the years.Of course, it could also be that we witness what each other goes through and don’t feel like it’s changed.

The protagonist of this story is Sun Yikun, but his name is Jiang Hao.

Because in this story, it is Jiang Hao who impressed me the most.

It's a pity that I haven't met Jiang Hao.

Jiang Hao is doing well now. When I met Sun Yikun in 15, he only mentioned it in a few words.I had stopped writing the story by then.

I didn't ask about Jiang Hao's affairs carefully, and felt it was inappropriate.At that time, Sun Yikun had been abroad for more than a year, and he just returned to China for a vacation. We chatted for a short time. Talking about these things is boring.

Jiang Hao is very specific in my mind, and I think it may be because Sun Yikun really has his heart set on him.At least, for a certain period of time, he was paying attention.But one thing is very ironic, if you ask me, does Jiang Hao like Sun Yikun?I think he likes it.But if you ask me, how much does Jiang Hao like Sun Yikun?From my point of view, his liking is nothing compared to his liking for Yuan Rui.

I'm right