He is not worthy

Chapter 1

"He's Unworthy" Author: Wei Congliang/Zoo Bully

CP/Weibo 2019.03.27 ended

Outline/Dog Blood/Amnesia Terrier/No.1 Title

Shen Yan×Zhao Wenjia

Since you have forgotten me, I will also forget you.

Shen Yan told me that I will move out of this house tomorrow.

I still can't believe that he would be so unfeeling to me.

He hasn't come back yet, I'm waiting for him in the living room.Although he used to have entertainment, he would always go home early, and he would bring me a lot of food. We would sit and watch TV together and have supper, and he would tell me interesting things he encountered in his company. Children, like to lie on me and act like a baby.

Recently, I often think of him in the past, and then compare him with the present, and all I get is a deep, deep sigh and disappointment.

Shen Yan didn't come back tonight. Around one o'clock in the morning, I received a message from him, and he told me to move out quickly.

Now when I see his unfeeling words, I won’t actually be angry anymore, unlike at the beginning, I couldn’t believe it and flew into a rage, then questioned, quarreled, and cried.I didn't want to cry anymore, I waited for him in the living room, I waited all night, my back became a fossil, and the door didn't budge.

I know we're done.

I stood up, went to the room and took out the suitcase that had been packed.

I walked to the TV cabinet and looked at the photos on it, the photo of Shen Yan and me.I took down the photo frame, looked at it a few times, and then fell to the ground, the glass shattered all over the floor, I stared at the broken glass, but couldn't help it.Tears don't cost money, you can shed them as you like, and no one cares anyway.

I knelt on the broken glass, my knee was broken, it hurt a lot, but what hurt more was my body and my heart.

I called Shen Yan, and I said, I miss you so much.

No one responded to me, Shen Yan will never come back again, can't come back, he...forgot about me.

Two years ago, Shen Yan and I went to Tanzania to watch the great migration of animals.He was very excited when he went, and he didn't sleep the night before, holding my hand and telling me what to do there.

We ate and drank in Arusha town and danced in local taverns at night.I went to the grassland early the next morning and met the Maasai camel team.On the day I went to Tarangire National Park, there was a lot of dust, the road was dusty, and the car was driving very slowly. He told me that there are many, many animals in the park, and he had wanted to come for a long time.

He poked his head out of the car, and I grabbed his arm, telling him to be careful.He turned his head and smiled at me and said, nothing will happen.

But in the next second, the car suddenly slowed down, my body fell, and he grabbed me.I heard someone yelling, and then the car hit something, went off the asphalt, made a loud noise, and I fell unconscious.

On the way to Tarangire National Park, we... had a car accident.

There were four people in the car, a driver, a tour guide, me and him.Both the driver and the tour guide died, and I was in his arms, unharmed.However, he was severely injured in the head and was on the verge of death. After saving a life, he was in a coma for half a year before waking up.

I thought everything would be fine when he woke up.But I didn't expect that fate would fool me like this.

The first thing Shen Yan said when he woke up was to ask who I was, he forgot me, he only forgot me.

The doctor told me that after the brain is traumatized, the memory and identity consciousness will indeed be destroyed, and some people and things that the patient considers to be the most important are often easily affected.That is to say, he has forgotten me, which means that I am very important to him. I can only use this understanding to comfort myself.

I used to think that even if he forgot about me, it didn't matter.I still have the ability to make him fall in love with me, but I forgot that the one who fell in love with me was the 25-year-old Shen Yan, not the 30-year-old Shen Yan.

He has gone through a 30-year-old life, but without me in this life, it has little impact on him.I mentioned to him that I was his lover, and he didn't say much after hearing that. I could feel his alienation from me. Gradually, after his body fully recovered, he began to feel bored with my existence.

I told him about the past between me and him, and showed him the photos and videos of the past.At first, he could barely bear to watch, but gradually he began to resist.

He told me, forget it, forget it, he has worked very hard, but he just can't remember, and he can't love me again, he doesn't love me anymore.

He said to me, Zhao Wenjia, let's break up.

I spent a year and a half by his side with a stern face, and all my edges and corners were ground on him. I once knelt on the ground and begged him to try again. I cried and said, don't leave, don't break up.He is a person who has lost his memory, and he can say no to me calmly.

I resented him, the most painful time, I couldn't sleep at night, I thought of Shen Yan, I lay on the bed and scolded him, I wondered if he died like this in a car accident, would I not have to suffer so much.But it was this kind of resentment that made me feel even more uncomfortable. I was very scared, I was afraid that I would become vicious and hypocritical, and become that Zhao Wenjia who didn't love Shen Yan.

It was he who saved me, he held me and gave me his life.It's understandable that he forgot me now.

I told myself over and over, don't hate him.

Things in the world are impermanent, accidents happen, I have nothing to do with him, everything is fate.

I moved out of that house, I didn't bring many things with me, I threw away everything that should be thrown away.There were several clothes in the box, which was empty and light.

I stood by the side of the road and sent a message to Shen Yan, and I said I was leaving.

He replied to me with one word, yes.

I endured it for a long time, and couldn't help myself to send a sentence. I asked him, is it really impossible?

There was a red circle symbol in front of the seven words. I looked at it for a long time, and repeatedly confirmed by pointing at his avatar. There was nothing in it, and he blocked me.

I crossed the road with my mobile phone in my hand, the traffic lights flickered, I saw a car approaching, and when the light was about to turn red, I crossed this Wangchuan Road.

I will disappear from his life as he wishes, leave him, leave him completely.

I saw Shen Yan again a year later, when Sotheby's auctioned off my paintings, and I was invited to be a guest of honor.

During the two years of mutual torture with Shen Yan, I almost abandoned my career. After leaving him, I started to drink heavily.I don't know if all artists are like this, living an irregular life, drinking and taking drugs, as if going crazy, passion is like paint in a plastic bucket spilled on the canvas.In the past six months, I, who was originally unknown, pushed my vision to the peak like water in a high-pressure gun.

Even Sotheby's started to auction off my old paintings, and each of those naive Huaichun's young paintings is worth a lot of money.

When the agent came to pick me up, I was lying in the studio drunk like a puddle of mud.The Englishman loved being clean the most. He pulled me up and muttered. I was so drunk that I followed behind him. He pushed me into the bathroom and poured cold water on my face, and I woke up.

I changed into clean clothes, and Bowen pulled me into the car, and he lectured me all the way.I didn't want to hear it, and covered my face with a blanket.

When I arrived at the auction, I was already late, gave the invitation and hurried in, and Bowen told me not to drink any more.I have a terrible headache, so I'm fine with that.

I've been on a roll lately, and everyone who sees me smiles at me, which wasn't the case before, and I hate it.I turned around to look for a seat, the lights were dim, and the rows of soft sofas were full of people.

I finally found an empty seat, but it was at the very inside, so I walked in.It was probably due to the aftereffects of alcohol, or the dim environment. I didn't see the road in front of me clearly, and when I was about to get an empty seat, I tripped over something. I couldn't stand still, and fell directly on the other side, a person.

I stood up quickly, but the other party took my hand.

It was too dark, I squinted my eyes, there was a lot of force on my wrist, I tried to break free, but the other party didn't move at all.

I let him let go, but the force was getting stronger and stronger, and I couldn't help struggling.At this moment, the lights on the stage were flickering, and finally a ray of light fell on that face.

I glanced at it lightly, and then dared not move.

Shen Yan's face rubbed against Guang, I lay on his body, I smelled his scent, is it a new perfume?

I tried my best to keep myself calm, and I whispered: "Relax."

Shen Yan suddenly let go, I fell into his arms, took a deep breath, I immediately got up and walked to the corner.

I sank deep into the soft chair in the corner, like a mouse fleeing in a hurry, I lowered my head to smell my clothes and the smell of vodka.

What would he think of me?An alcoholic who can't even walk?

I couldn't control my brain and started thinking wildly.

He will despise me, but what can I do, I promised him to leave him, but leaving him is like forced withdrawal, it is too painful.I can only rely on other things, such as alcohol, to quit Shen Yan.

When the auction began to introduce my paintings, I was restless until the lights were cast on me, and then I came back to my senses, stood up and nodded to them.I felt someone watching me, and I sat down and clenched my fists.

That painting was made by me when I was a teenager. At that time, I was just a poor student studying in France, and I met Shen Yan.He was the son of the Chamber of Commerce at that time, his family was very rich, and he was very popular in the Chinese circle.

When we graduated, our works were exhibited in the school. I stood in front of my painting and watched other people's paintings being sold. I couldn't help feeling lost.The most fearful thing about the creative road is lack of talent. My mentor has always told me that I am not suitable for this road. Even if I work hard, hard work alone is not enough.

Just when I was about to give up, I met him.

Shen Yan came up to me and asked me if I could sell this painting to him, and he asked me how much it was.

I don't know how to speak,