rain is not far

Chapter 29

Zhang Xiaopeng's family left accompanied by Director Zhang.Zhong Yuan said to Wu Yurong: "Auntie, don't worry, it's nothing serious, let's go back to class for a parent-teacher meeting first."

After that, he said to Grandma He: "Thank you for speaking for Xiao Lang just now. Let's go back together!"

No matter how dull Grandma He is at this moment, she guessed the relationship between Qi Shiyu and Zhong Yuan pretty well.What's more, at a certain moment just now, she was so blessed that she suddenly remembered the young man wearing a helmet she met in the parking lot at the entrance of the alley at the end of summer. No wonder she felt familiar at that time.

For the matter of the second boy of the Qi family, the old neighbors have basically been clear about it for so many years.Some people can't understand it, and naturally some people don't take it seriously.Grandma He is the latter. In the past, the Qi family lived at No. 6 Baihua Lane, a rare scholarly family in Baihua Lane. Who doesn't like the two obedient and sensible children of the Qi family?Grandma He watched the two brothers Qi Shiyun and Qi Shiyu grow up. Sometimes Qi Yanjie and Wu Yurong were busy with work, and the two children would go to her house for dinner.Later, she watched the great changes in the Qi family. First, the youngest son had conflicts with the family, and the quarrel was so violent that it finally subsided. The eldest son fell ill again, and then the daughter-in-law disappeared.

Grandma He, like all ordinary housewives, likes to talk about her parents in her spare time, but this family really has nothing to say, who doesn't feel distressed after reading it?

The second boy of the Qi family had conflicts with his parents, but for the sake of the child left behind by his elder brother and sister-in-law, he gave up the chance to settle in another city and lived alone at No. 6 Baihua Lane.A young man was pulling a baby alone, and at first he didn't even know how to pour milk powder, so Grandma He helped a lot.So Qi Lang and He Jiale are the same to Grandma He, not to mention that Qi Lang is many times less obedient and sensible than He Jiale.

Grandma He also thought about introducing someone to Qi Shiyu. She is a pretty good-looking child with a good education. Although she doesn't have a serious job now, the small business is flourishing. Where can I miss a girl?When he had conflicts with his family back then, Grandma He listened to the gossip, but with her knowledge, she really didn't understand the fact that men like men.She also knew that in the first two years there was a little boy with a camera who ran here from time to time, always avoiding people when he came and went, so she just pretended not to see him.

Until the first day of elementary school for the little grandchildren, the head teacher came to visit the house. After the teacher left, Grandma He was washing his used cups in the kitchen. From the back window, she saw the picture of Qi Shiyu being pushed against the wall by a man.

The night was too dark, she couldn't see who the other man was, but it didn't affect the old lady's shock by the scene in front of her.

Although it was shocking, the old lady, who had been in the neighborhood committee for so many years and had seen a lot, just sighed, and then took out her mobile phone and sent a WeChat message to the old sister: Sorry, sister, this young man here has a date two days ago.

She just didn't expect this object to be Teacher Zhong.At this moment, Teacher Zhong is like a real Qi family, thanking her so seriously.

She supported Wu Yurong with one hand, and carried the two cubs with the other, and said repeatedly: "It's okay, it's okay, it should be..."

Zhong Yuan whispered to Qi Shiyu, "You go home first?"

Qi Shiyu shook his head: "Go and do your work, I'll wait for you in the car at the door."

Zhong Yuan patted his arm, and left with Wu Yurong and the others.Qi Shiyu was stunned for a while, then returned to the school gate, opened the car door, sat in the driver's seat, and turned on the radio.

He took out a cigarette from his pocket, lit one, and after taking two puffs, he remembered that there were both old people and children in the car, so he quickly smoked it, and opened four windows to ventilate.

He asked himself whether he was a qualified father - or an elder.What contradicts this is that Qi Lang has grown into a model child whom everyone praises.

Perhaps, it was precisely because Qi Lang was too sensible that he left enough room for his second-handed knife father, who became a monk halfway, not to be too mature.

At the age of 18, he stood up for Zhong Yuan. That was his wanton and unrestrained youth. At that time, he felt that he could dominate life and even the world.

But he was broken by reality.

He unconsciously stroked the tattoo on his wrist, the scar that everyone kept silent was hidden under the rope.

If facing the youngest son coming out of the closet, although a mother can't sing a few songs, she can still maintain basic reason, then on this basis, facing the successive deaths of the eldest son and daughter-in-law is enough to crush a mother.

A person who loses his mind can do many unexpected things-for example, she forced her youngest son to go to a so-called correctional institution to see a psychiatrist, which is not something a university professor can do at all.

At this moment, Qi Shiyu was sitting in the car, listening to the voices of male and female anchors talking on the radio. He suddenly realized that it was not only his mother who lost his mind at that time, but also himself.

Because I began to doubt whether all these misfortunes were caused by myself.

The broken family, the deceased elder brother and sister-in-law, the Dong elder brother who left everything behind... It seemed that their misfortune was caused by their own existence.

So he listened to his mother, and after his sister-in-law passed away, he started twice-weekly psychotherapy.

Not so much therapy as simple aversion therapy.The psychiatrist, who is said to have various qualifications, used drugs, electric shocks and pain during nearly a year of treatment to continuously build up his aversion to men.

But before he developed a loathing for men, he developed an inescapable loathing for himself.Thoughts that used to exist only sporadically began to linger in his head—all because of me.

Finally, on a mid-winter evening, he removed the double-sided blade from the razor and slashed at his wrist.

He Dong has been busy recently, so he deliberately didn't send away Qi Lang, who was less than one year old at the time, because he knew that his mother would come to the house at 8 o'clock every night to deliver the baby's food supplements for the next day.

After loathing himself like a cockroach in the corner for so long, for the first time, he felt a little mischievous. He wanted his mother to remember him, whether as a declaration or as a punishment.

At that time, he had been tossed by various drugs and almost lost his physical consciousness, so he didn't feel any pain when the blade slashed his wrist. He lay on his side on the bed, with his hand stretched beyond the edge of the bed, looking at the warm blood in his veins. The blood flowed out, flowed through the palm, and flowed to the ground.

It seemed that the sadness, grievance, and unwillingness in his heart all these years were separated from his body at this moment, and he felt unprecedented ease.

Qi Lang's crib was placed not far from him.He was suddenly a little annoyed, the time of life seems to be too long, until he can still see the little meatball clearly, he is crawling around on the bed, occasionally grabbing the anti-fall railing in front of the bed and babbling With meaningless syllables.

Qi Shiyu murmured to himself: "It would be nice to be a carefree baby all my life."

Xiaotuanzi not far away seemed to hear his voice, turned around with a bunny in his hand, and looked at him quietly.

The children's eyes are watery, and the black pupils are shining, forming a black and white boundary with the whites of the eyes, just like their world, simple and feeling.

Qi Shiyu felt that his body was getting colder and colder, but he no longer dared to look into those eyes.Will such a young child have a memory?Will he remember that he has seen such a cruel scene?Sorry... I did it wrong again.

Once again he felt annoyed and disgusted in his heart.He closed his eyes tightly.

It is human instinct to avoid darkness and cold.Now he wanted to open his arms and hug them.

"dad."

In the darkness, the baby's clear voice was like a sword piercing the darkness with sunlight.Qi Shiyu suspected that he had heard wrong, and opened his eyes suddenly.

Qi Lang still maintained the posture just now, and spit out those two simple syllables again: "Dad...Dad."

Qi Shiyu's originally clear vision suddenly became blurred, and his drowsy head was suddenly sobered by these two words.

He got up from the bed, walked to Qi Lang's bed, stretched out his clean hand to caress the child's face.

Qi Lang's little furry head rubbed against his hand.

The milk fragrance and warmth from the child suddenly made him feel greedy and reluctant.

Feeling his body getting colder and colder, he struggled to grab an old T-shirt beside the bed, and laboriously covered his wound.

He had no strength left to do anything else, but he never wanted to live for a moment.Even if it is for the child in front of him, he must live on.

He picked up his cell phone and dialed He Dong's number with his last strength.

"Brother Dong, help me."

Before consciousness faded, he remembered himself saying this.