Horse riding in the snow

Chapter 20 Extra Story: For Whom the Spring Comes Every Year

"For whom does spring come every year"

Guan Chi (31) x Xie Zihui (26)

*The story of the deputy cp of "On the Snow", a cardiologist x a psychiatrist

*Duplicity is not the process of learning to be good

01

"Click."

The sound of the lock was heard in the entrance, and Xie Zi, who was sitting on the sofa, subconsciously followed the prestige, and quickly turned his head back after the anti-theft door was slightly opened, pretending to be indifferent.

The person who came back was his boyfriend Guan Chi.

Guan Chi is a prestigious cardiologist and the director of a private clinic, but he is young, energetic, handsome, with a shaved head, and his overall demeanor is very "civilian".He was wearing a white and black-striped coat. A sudden torrential rain in spring had stained the light fabric gray, and the muddy rainwater fell on the ground along his leather shoes, staining the carpet at the door.

Xie Zihui looked over there pretending not to care, and couldn't help but "tsk" when he saw that his beloved carpet was stained.Guan Chi obviously noticed this too, he smiled a little embarrassedly, said "Sorry", quickly changed the shoes in his hand, took the paper to polish the leather shoes and carried them to the balcony to dry.When he was doing this, Xie Zihui hugged the pillow and watched him walking back and forth. The eyes of the young psychologist are always bright, but these bright eyes rarely cast a considerate look.

Guan Chi struggled for a while before he sat down on the sofa. He moved to Xie Zihui's side, looked down at his watch, and sighed silently: "I'm sorry, Xiaohui, I didn't pay attention to the time." After apologizing, he raised his hand to hold Xie Zihui's, "Have you had dinner yet? If you're hungry, I'll make you some supper."

No amount of overnight anger can be mostly extinguished by Guan Chi's generous palm and gentle tone. Xie Zihui tried hard for a long time but still couldn't resist the offensive from his boyfriend, so he eased his face: "Eat it a long time ago, I can wait." I'm sorry. Why are you so late? Didn't you agree to go home early tonight and explain what happened yesterday? "

"When I was about to leave, an operation suddenly came to the emergency room. The patient's condition was quite complicated, so I stayed and followed the operation." Guan Chi explained, "You can just eat... It's not too late."

Xie Zihui fell silent when he heard the words, this kind of silence has been performed thousands of times between the two of them.They have known each other for a few years, during which time they both served as the personal doctor of Dai Xu, the young master of the Dai family. Too frequent exchanges led to conflicting opinions. If you stand there, you will be silent.

Guan Chi has long been used to him like this, and stood up with some weak legs: "Now, wait for me to change clothes, drink some water, and then tell you what happened yesterday, do you think it's okay?"

Xie Zihui was soothed by his tone of discussion and softened his temper: "Go and change, I'll get you a glass of honey water."

As he spoke, he stood up, and the mobile phone lying flat on his lap fell to the ground suddenly because of his too fast movement.The phone fell on its back, and before it could be locked, the screen was exposed in front of the two of them, and the page stayed on the chat window between Xie Zihui and Guan Chi.

He still cared about him, but he was too embarrassed to send a message to ask.

Guan Chi couldn't stop laughing for a while, and Xie Zihui next to him turned cold again with a chuckle of "chi", stooped to pick up the phone, and walked angrily to the kitchen.

Guan Chi quickly suppressed his smile. Over the years, he has gradually been unable to tell whether Xie Zihui's cold face is shame or anger, so he can only coax him in general: "Xiao Hui, I'm not laughing at you, I just feel that... very warm."

He really cherished Xie Zihui, so he didn't want to gamble at all.

This genius-like junior was once a legend on campus, and it was also his belief in his lonely youth in a foreign country.He was an admirer who relied on the sponsorship of the boss of Dai's family and worked hard day and night to climb up. Xie Zihui, who was extraordinary in appearance and extraordinary intellect, was like a rising star. Captured the brightest pearl in the night sky...

This wonderful fate once made him very happy.

As time passed, he heard Xie Zihui's voice coming from the kitchen.

"Who cares about you."

02

Guan Chi knew that Xie Zihui was only trying to show off his prestige, and in fact, the conflict between the two of them yesterday stemmed from this.

The genius scholar in his 20s has always maintained the frankness and arrogance bred in the ivory tower. He wraps his kindness with tiny thorns, and renders all emotions vividly with aggressiveness.

Guan Chi understood his way of dealing with the world, but he couldn't agree with it.

Yesterday, because his employer, Dai Xu, suffered from acute heart failure, Guan Chi took Xie Zihui to meet Dai Xu's boyfriend Luo Shengchao as a personal doctor.They are "familiar" with Luo Shengchao, and they have been with Dai Xu for a long time, so they naturally know how much Dai Xu loves Luo Shengchao-the longing day and night can't be diluted even by blood and pain. Unclear but still thinking about Luo Shengchao's appearance, Xie Zi's eyes turned red several times...

But Luo Shengchao couldn't help but shattered the token of love, and sent Dai Xu to the intensive care unit in one fell swoop.

They all treated Dai Xu as their own younger brother in their hearts, Guan Chi was able to tolerate Luo Shengchao's behavior with reason, but when Xie Zi met Luo Shengchao, he directly let his anger get on his head.Perhaps in the eyes of others, Dr. Xie still had the appearance of a skilled psychologist, but Guan Chi knew him so well that he could easily hear the sarcasm in Xie Zi's reply.Luo Shengchao standing opposite was only a young man in his early twenties, his face became paler and paler as the conversation progressed, Guan Chi couldn't bear to watch it, and finally stopped Xie Zihui with his words.

Xie Zihui was humiliated by his boyfriend in front of someone he didn't like, so naturally he didn't look good. He kicked his leather shoes aside as soon as he entered the house at night, and entered the room with his face held high, leaving behind the sound of thunder and bang.

A mess all over the place.

With a good temper like Guan Chi, he unexpectedly didn't coax anyone. He changed his shoes and went into the kitchen without explaining anything to Xie Zihui, nor did he give this arrogant young man a step down.Xie Zihui waited for a long time but did not get the soft words he wanted to hear, so he became even more annoyed, thinking that Guan Chi didn't know what was wrong with his elbows turned outward and his neck stuck, and he was so angry that he turned his back on his back when he slept at night.He thought that Guan Chi was acting so indifferent because of his aggressive attitude towards Luo Shengchao, but he didn't know that there were other calculations in Guan Chi's heart——

Xie Zihui's hurtful situation has long been the same, and what is even more chilling is that he always uses professional theories to poke the hidden pain of others without blinking.Theories such as psychology and sociology are different from other disciplines. They often involve "dignity", "decency" and even some dirty thoughts. Others will also be poked in the heart by Xie Zi. The justice and kindness in his heart are always unacceptable.

Xie Zihui's practice of medicine is based on talent, while Guan Chi's practice of medicine is based on compassion.What Xie Zihui practiced was theory, while what Guan Chi practiced was life.

Such contradictory points have already accumulated too much on them, whenever Xie Zihui said and acted according to his temper, Guan Chi would gently try to make up for the former's unintentional mistakes.He knew that all these were appendages that came with love, and he knew that this was what he should do. He never had the slightest complaint, but he was helpless, and gradually became a little tired.

This feeling of exhaustion seemed to grow from the depths of his chest, and even a young and strong man like Guan Chi couldn't let this feeling of laziness dissipate after spending a day and a night.He still thought Xie Zihui was cute when he just woke up, and he still thought he was good-looking when he saw his well-dressed appearance, but Guan Chi knew something was different.

Something fragile in his heart seemed to be breaking, Guan Chi thought, maybe he didn't protect it well.

03

Guan Chi changed into clean home clothes, and when he returned to the sofa, there was already a glass of honey water on the coffee table.The mug was a couple mug that he and Xie Zihui bought together. His had a large animated dog painted on it, and the one Xie Zihui had was a cat.

He picked up the cup and took a sip of water, Xie Zihui didn't act properly, he put too much honey, the glass of water even made his throat a little sticky.But after all, this sweetness dispelled some of the spring cold and tiredness on his body, allowing him to recover a little bit.

Xie Zi sat back beside him, picked up the pillow and hugged it in his arms.The lives of the two are relatively simple, and the house is clean and quiet.

"How do you feel now, can you tell me?" Xie Zihui's tone was as usual, with a hint of sarcasm beneath his calm and polite surface.

He is still angry.

Guan Chi put down his cup, organized his words in his mind, and then slowly opened his mouth: "Yesterday I stopped you in front of Sheng Chao, and I really blamed me for not considering your mood. Xiao Hui, in fact, I am the same as you. We They are all people who care about Young Master Dai, so I understand your feelings very well."

Guan Chi's good attitude of admitting his mistakes made Xie Zihui raise his eyebrows, and the young man put his legs crossed on the sofa and let out a soft "hum".

Guan Chi, an expert cat breeder, already understood the meaning of giving in, but when he remembered the repeated verbal conflicts, he didn't feel relieved for a while, but seemed to be blocked by something.

The cup of honey water quietly placed on the coffee table seemed to give him more courage to believe in this relationship and each other. After thinking for a while, Guan Chi decided to have a good talk with Xie Zihui.

He lowered his head slightly and scratched the skin on the inside of his wrist: "But understanding is understanding...I still hope you can change the way you speak. Maybe sometimes we also need..."

Before he could finish his words, his voice was cut off by the young man sitting next to him.Xie Zihui quickly turned his head to look at Guan Chi, the light in his eyes was very sharp in the silence of the room, but only he knew that hearing Guan Chi's criticism actually made him feel like a thorn in his heart.He looked like a cat whose fur had exploded, as if sitting on fire, he immediately threw the pillow aside.

"What do you mean, do you think I have problems communicating with people?" Xie Zihui was scratched by this soft sentence, and he couldn't help baring his teeth and claws in his heart, "If I have problems in this area, how can I pass the exam? Certificate?"

Guan Chi was so pushed that he felt like the water he had just swallowed was choking in his throat, but he had a generous and gentle personality, and he had long been used to Xie Zihui's straightforward and hurtful attitude when facing people close to him. After all, he sighed kindly.

Xie Zi twisted his neck back and changed direction, with his two white legs crossed, and the chaotic words he blurted out seemed to add fuel to the anger born of panic in his heart.The more he talked, the more excited he became, and the embarrassment stained the corners of his eyes: "I admit that I don't like Luo Shengchao, but you should know that this doesn't affect my treatment of Mr. Dai. And the reason why I don't like him Don't you know...or after all these years, Xiao Dai is always in your heart not as good as a stranger you just met?"

Xie Zihui's mouth was really poisonous when he treated people other than patients. Guan Chi's head "buzzed" when he said that he felt that he hadn't had a rest all day, probably because his blood pressure suddenly jumped.But he is always compromising on matters related to Xie Zihui. In addition, he is a few years older than Xie Zihui, so he should be more modest, so no matter how much anger he has, it will only turn into deeper anger. sigh.

"Little Hui." Guan Chi raised his hand and rubbed his cheeks, interrupting Xie Zihui's machine gun-like speech output, "Well, I brought up this point and it has nothing to do with Sheng Chao, I wanted to tell you a long time ago That's it, I just... I don't know if you'll take it well with that, but I think you're a little too sharp at times."

"I don't know if you have such a theory, but I found that it is easy for people to say something when they are embarrassed..."

"Enough." Xie Zihui's brows were completely cold, his eyes were red, and the sobs in his voice did not know whether they were caused by anger or grievance, "If you don't want to hear it, I just don't want to say it."

He actually knows that he is lacking in emotional management. When he puts himself in a professional environment, his emotions are still controllable, but when he relaxes, all the negative emotions and happy but sharp words are like It is a wild beast that has broken free from its shackles and comes out wantonly.Xie Zihui's heart is soft, but he is as slow as a snail with a shell on its back. He always realizes that he has said something wrong after he uses inappropriate words or expresses anger violently. The coaxing little genius is not good at apologizing, so Guan Chi would easily forgive him, and he would easily be the donkey that went downhill.

He knew he was wrong, but he really didn't want to admit it.Chaotic thoughts rushed against him, like tens of thousands of vines tightening his grip, the thickest of which was called "Rage from Shame".

Xie Zihui was smart enough, but he was so at a loss, he couldn't stand Guan Chi talking about him like this - anyone can deny him, Guan Chi can't, Guan Chi can't.

The surroundings were so quiet that there was only the sound of panting, Xie Zihui tightly grasped the fabric on both sides of his trousers, unable to stop the fog from gradually filling his eyes.The pictures in his memory came before his eyes. In the unfamiliar western country, Guan Chi once brought him the warmth of his hometown, and also brought him the purest affection.At that time they were young, Guan Chi was only in his early twenties, Xie Zihui was not even in his twenties, there was no gap or quarrel between them, Xie Zihui was not so casual and relaxed when facing Guan Chi .

He suddenly missed those youthful years, Guan Chi's still a little green face at that time... At that time, Guan Chi was still willing to tolerate him, and was willing to coax him when he was poked at his shortcomings and pretended to be unwilling to change. Say "cute".

He once had all Guan Chi's patience and tolerance.

Xie Zihui is very sensitive. He knows that Guan Chi is a very responsible person. He would rather clean up the mess for him than let go of his hand. A sense of security.

Is that right?

That's right.

So keep squandering, so get used to it.

Xie Zihui was speechless.He seemed to be able to see the exhaustion surrounding Guan Chi in a substantial way. At this moment, he suddenly panicked. He knew that Guan Chi understood him, but he suddenly realized that "understanding" in the adult world does not Not obligatory, does not mean eternity.

He was silent for a long time, and finally took a deep breath: "You were the one who chased me back then."

This is what he used to say. Whenever he was unreasonable and unwilling to be wronged, he would bring up the beginning of the relationship between the two of them. Until today, Xie Zihui himself has tasted the unreasonable trouble in this sentence. I couldn't help lowering my head, my ears were red.

Guan Chi has always been patient with his tricks, but this time the words have reached this point, and he responded for the first time: "It is true that I chased you. But Xiaohui, I think... Isn’t love about being happy with each other?”

Xie Zihui was helpless again, and the feeling of helplessness made him gradually irritable.Between them, Guan Chi is always reasonable, and Guan Chi always stands on the moral high ground, which makes him very uncomfortable.Young and energetic people are afraid of being sober and rational, and the more sober they are, the more shameful and annoyed they will be.

The night was so thick that Xie Zihui no longer knew what he was talking about. Shame turned into shame, embarrassment turned into resentment. He has always been smooth sailing and envied by everyone. He has never experienced this kind of obedience. The taste of apologizing.

A flash of inspiration suddenly flashed in his mind, he seemed to have finally grasped Guan Chi's only clue, he stood up and complained: "Do you know how tiring it is for me to maintain a calm and tolerant appearance at work every day?! I Educate others, how come no one comes to guide me?"

He didn't know that he was about to say hurtful words that he regretted for the rest of his life, he just wanted to get back his position in this relationship.

"I'm so tired outside, and I can't relax when I come back... Then why should I give up so many people who are right with me and come to you?"

But when he realized it, it was too late. The words "the right family" was like a huge hammer, one end hit Guan Chi's heart heavily, and the other end stirred up the long-sealed fig leaf.Love is romantic, it originates from life and is higher than life. It is a work of art. Two people who met, knew each other and loved each other in the school took this cognition as an unspoken rule for so many years. In a complicated society, they also carefully guarded the innocence of this relationship because they cherished it.

But today, Xie Zihui smashed it with his own hands, leaving its beautiful shell gone, leaving only the naked reality inside.

When they had conflicts before, Xie Zi had said so many ugly words back, but this was the first time he had spoken to such an extent... He was tearing off Guan Chi's scars without hesitation.

Emotions may be complicated, but the only thing that is always direct and straightforward is the matter of injury-the brittleness of trust and intimacy will not think of the first offense, and some things will become deeply ingrained as long as they are punctured.

Guan Chi knew he shouldn't think that way, but during that breath, the only thing lingering in his mind was "so he always thought this way".It turns out that all his self-righteous tolerance and understanding, all the concessions and compromises, all the care and tenderness, to Xie Zihui, are just stepping stones he set up to make up for his own birth defects, just a cheap necessity .

"It's nothing." Guan Chi smiled, he was always liked by old people and children, but the smile on his face at this time made people feel cold all over.

"I just thought...we were together because we loved each other."

Love is important, love makes people worry, but love is just love.

If the two are too inappropriate, he doesn't want to force it.

--------------------

Recently, I have been writing about life and death, and suddenly I feel powerless to write about such a young couple quarreling.But both of them are three-dimensional characters, and their images are different when they face outsiders and each other, and they disagree with each other when they have conflicts. I still like this vivid feeling.