alone

19 cruel lies

Haiping couldn't move, because of this soft and lingering voice that was depressed and deep——after more than 30 days of death, the voice he missed most and longed for.

But he dared not speak out.

"Haiping." The voice called again, and the call was firm, quite sure that he was here.

Haiping covered his ears and didn't listen, he was afraid that he would not be able to resist the voice.

Because he covered his ears, he didn't hear the footsteps slowly approaching him.When he smelled the fragrance of tobacco mixed with body temperature, Guan Yuangui had already stood firmly in front of him, looking deeply at him who was hiding in the darkness.

No matter when, Guan Yuangui can always find him who is lost.

"I've been following you, Haiping, I've seen it all." Guan Yuangui slowly knelt down in front of him, level with his downcast eyes.He asked in a low voice, "...why?"

Haiping trembled, feeling the urge to cry.So he kept hearing the footsteps following behind, not hallucinations, but real.

Guan Yuangui held his hand, sobbing sadly in his voice. "Why...why didn't you tell me you were injured so badly? Huh?"

Haiping wanted to tell him everything, but he couldn't.

"What are you afraid of?" Guan Yuangui asked again, hitting the nail on the head.

Haiping pursed his lips, pulled the wound on the corner of his mouth, and shuddered from the pain.

"Who is it?" Guan Yuangui's voice was slightly stiff. "Hurt you? Tell me."

Haiping turned his head away, unable to bear his angry direct gaze.

"Look at me, Haiping." Guan Yuangui pulled his hand, leaned towards him, and ordered: "Who hurt you? You have to tell. If you don't tell, I won't let you out of this door."

Haiping gritted his teeth and shook his head.He knew that if he said so, Guan Yuangui would never let those people go.He is not afraid of those people's fate, but he is afraid that Guan Yuangui will risk his life for him... Besides, those people are like bloodthirsty kite people, always looking for Guan Yuangui's weak point to attack.

Haiping's frightened and forbearing appearance really made Guan Yuangui extremely anxious. "Haiping──"

Haiping shook his head, no matter how he asked or coaxed, he always shook his head.

Guan Yuangui's face turned cold. "It's okay." His voice was surprisingly calm. "I know it."

Haiping trembled all over, hearing the cruelty and determination in this calmness.

"I'll make those people," he said, "pay the price."

What's the meaning?Haiping was terrified of these words.He hurriedly asked, "What are you going to do?"

It was Guan Yuangui's turn to choose not to answer.He just helped Haiping up, and replied his usual soft tone: "Come, come to my bedroom, I'll give you medicine."

Haiping was anxious: "What are you going to do?!"

Guan Yuangui's eyes were slightly cold. "You don't have to answer me," he said. "Then I don't have to answer you. It's fair, isn't it?"

Haiping got angry and pushed him. "Don't hurt me, okay?!"

Guan Yuangui staggered a step back and looked at him in shock.

Haiping felt that his mouth was no longer under the control of his heart, and he just followed an impulse to go mad: "It's all because of you! It's all because of you that I was beaten like this! They can't touch you, I had no choice but to vent my anger on me. You don’t know my pain at all, and you can’t protect me at all. You know it yourself, so don’t think you can save me! Don’t say you’re okay, okay. It seems that everyone should be afraid of you, but they are not afraid of you at all, if they were afraid of you, how could they beat me like this?!"

Guan Yuangui looked at him blankly, as if he was experiencing an unreal dream.

"Hai Ping..." He wanted to get close to him, to touch him, to know whether Hai Ping at this time was real, or just a demon in the mist trying to shake people's minds.

"Don't touch me!" Haiping yelled, throwing off his hand, remembering all the harsh words those people said when they beat him—they were waiting for the opportunity, they were trying to catch the officials' secrets Weakness, looking for any reliable and strong evidence, every time Guan Yuangui spends with him increases the risk of being discovered.He wants to protect Guan Yuangui, he wants him to be surrounded by the noble tobacco fragrance forever, he wants his collar to always stand upright and white - the stronger this idea is, the more vicious his words will become. "Go away! Get away, I don't need you to pity me──you just make me sick now! Nauseously sick──"

Guan Yuangui's expression finally became numb.He just quietly listened to Haiping's cruel accusation, and then asked calmly, "Are you telling the truth? Haiping."

Haiping couldn't reply, because he was like a fish on the shore at the moment, losing his normal breathing rhythm.His lungs were panting continuously, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't breathe air.

"Then why are you crying? Huh?" Guan Yuangui asked softly again.

Haiping was taken aback, and touched his face, only to realize that his face was full of tears.He couldn't breathe, also because of the painful whimpers that filled his throat.

He hurt Guan Yuangui, and he hurt himself a lot.

He obviously loved him so much and missed him so much—but he said such exaggerated things to him.He couldn't forgive himself.

"You have my tobacco in your hand." Guan Yuangui spread his hand and asked, "What does this represent, Haiping?"

Haiping closed his eyes in annoyance, it was the first time that he hated the tacit understanding between them so much.

"So, don't lie to me."

"I did not lie!"

Guan Yuangui's voice became high-pitched: "Don't tell me such a cruel lie!"

"I'm not lying—I don't love you anymore, I really don't love you anymore!"

Guan Yuangui strode up and sealed his hurtful mouth with a kiss.