No lights at night

Chapter 19

The days fade away with time, and the business of the small restaurant is still booming. Some middle school female students often come here in groups of three or four. I know, they often secretly take pictures of me with their mobile phones. Whenever this happens, I will yell at them Smile, sometimes, girls will boldly come over and ask me for a phone number, and I will always tell them kindly, "Sorry, I like men, and, besides, I have a wife. If I call you, he will be upset "

Girls always say that my excuses for rejecting them are too bad. I shrugged and said that I can't help it if I don't believe it. I'm gay, really.

I don't want to run away from this question anymore.

The night is always long, I don’t know why, at night, as long as I turn off the light, I will think of Zhitian, thinking about it all night and all night, and thinking about it makes me go crazy... Every time this time comes, I will turn off the lights in the room Open it so that I can fall asleep, and then I will have a dream, all about Zhitian's dream...

One day, a guest came to the restaurant, and seeing him, I couldn't help but feel a little bit moved.

"What's the matter, Officer Yang, the sweepers came here"

Yang Yi looked around for a while, then found a place at random, and sat down.

He stared at me, I sighed, and sat down beside him anyway.

"Zhenglin, did you really like me back then?"

"..." I don't know, I really don't know.

I took out a cigarette, lit one, and gave one to Yang Yi, who shook his head.

"At the beginning, I was really grateful to you for saving my life."

I frowned, I hate hearing this topic, if it wasn't for my self-righteousness, today... definitely wouldn't end like this...

"You like Zhitian, don't you?"

I couldn't sit down any longer, so I stood up abruptly, "Officer Yang, I'll treat you to dinner today, if nothing else, I'm still busy"

I was about to leave when Yang Yi's voice came from behind.

"Zhi Tian...he doesn't seem to be dead"

I stayed there and didn't move any more. I thought I heard something terrible just now.

"I'm not sure, but I checked the population death register, and there is no information about Zhitian, so it's all my guess."

Yang Yi also stood up, and he walked in front of me, "I don't know if it's right to tell you this, but at least I see that you are on the right path now, and you must have sincerely regretted it, since you saved my life back then. For the sake of this favor, I will return it to you today."

After Yang Yi finished speaking, he patted my shoulder and left the restaurant.

I stood there motionless, the cigarette dropped from my mouth to the floor, not knowing what to do.I don't know how to put my hands and feet, Yang Yi is not here to play me... If Zhi Tian is not dead... what does this mean... still alive... is he still alive?

I feel like my brain is rusted together, I can't even think...

I ran to Mu Yunfan's hospital, and in the corridor of the hospital, I ran into him.When he saw me, he turned around immediately. I didn't give him a chance, so I grabbed him.

"Zhi Tian... Zhi Tian... Where is he!! Tell me where he is!!" I was already insane, pulling Mu Yunfan's doctor's robe out of shape.

"Let go! Let me go! Xiao Zhenglin, you should die! Zhitian is already dead!! Dead!!!"

"No! No!! Zhi Tian is not dead!! Tell me, where is he!!"

Our yelling and tugging attracted countless people in the corridor to watch.

"If you do this again, I will call the police!!"

"I know...Zhi Tian is not dead...tell me..."

Mu Yunfan suddenly stopped struggling, and he sneered and said, "Xiao Zhenglin, I won't tell you even if I die, how do you want to torture him this time, you tell me first, I can give you some advice, and I can give you some advice. The harm is even worse!!"

Mu Yunfan also seems to be crazy, his eyes still hate me so much.

I knelt down, in front of so many people in the corridor, I knelt down in front of Mu Yunfan.

"I beg you...tell me...I swear, I'll never hurt him again...I beg you..."

Mu Yunfan looked at me and didn't speak.

"I love him... I really love him, and I won't hurt him again, if you don't believe me, I swear, just let me take a look at him from a distance, just one look, I promise, just take one look at him and I'll leave , I won't pester you any more... Please"

What kind of self-esteem, what kind of face, these things are now in my eyes, they can’t be compared with Zhitian at all, I want to see Zhitian, I want to see him... As long as I know that he is fine, I am willing to let me die...

I just knelt in the corridor of the hospital, Mu Yunfan had already left,

I just kept kneeling like that... still muttering, "Please... tell me... where is Zhi Tian... where is he..."

People coming and going looked at me like I was a fool...

I don't care, except Zhitian... I don't care about anything now...

final chapter

Mu Yunfan finally agreed to take me to see Zhitian, I don't know if I moved him or he showed kindness, but it doesn't matter, the important thing is that he agreed! !

But he warned that he can only look at it from a distance and not get close. I kept nodding my head and kept making promises.God knows, the excitement and excitement in my heart now makes me suddenly feel that life is so wonderful.

We drove for more than three hours and arrived at a village, which should be the most border of the city.

Mu Yunfan took me to a garden, where there is no hustle and bustle of the city, only a quiet environment, and even the air is accompanied by bursts of earthy fragrance.There are some bungalows in the front, and there are vegetable gardens surrounded by fences in the back, and there are some gardens.

Mu Yunfan pointed in one direction, and across several layers of fences, I saw a thin figure squatting there, he was busy, I don't know what he was doing, I stared hard, not daring to look away, This figure is what I have always wanted to see in my dreams. It is him, it is really him, and he is really alive... My heart beats very fast and vigorously. It turns out that every organ in my body is eager to see this figure...

After he transplanted a potted flower from the flower pot to the ground, after pouring the water for the last time, he smiled with satisfaction, and wiped the sweat on the top of his head with muddy hands, which was stained with mud, but he didn't Care, he is smiling, he is looking at the flowers on the ground and smiling...

I watched quietly, not even daring to breathe vigorously, I was afraid that this was a dream, and I was afraid that I would wake myself up.

"What are you doing here!!" A sharp voice came from behind me, I was startled, it was Zhitian's mother.

Zhi Tian also heard it, and he was also startled, and looked towards us.

Zhitian's mother knew that her voice was louder, and Mu Yunfan also became nervous. Everyone was afraid, what would Zhitian's reaction be when he saw me...

My palms were sweating, I held my breath, I watched Zhi Tian/walking towards me, time seemed to be slowing down...

When he was about to walk in front of me, Zhi Tian ran two steps away. He looked at me with wide eyes, and shouted excitedly, "Brother Zhenglin!! It's really you!! You're back!! You're finally back!!"

And then...Zhi Tian...he hugged me with muddy hands...

I was confused... Zhitian, it seemed to pull me back more than ten years ago... I was hugged by Zhitian, I didn't have time to respond to anything else, I immediately responded to his hug, if possible, I hope Time can stand still at this moment forever...

Suddenly, Zhi Tian rubbed away my hug again, I didn't want to let go, but I didn't dare to disobey him again, not at all...

But after he rubbed me away with a flustered face, he carefully said to me, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I stained your clothes with my hands, brother Zhenglin, don't be angry"

Seeing him worried, I was very happy, Zhitian, the previous Zhitian has not changed at all...

"No...it's okay...I'm not angry...not angry at all..." I couldn't even finish my sentence, I think my mind is still too messed up, and I can't even organize words.

"Brother Zhenglin, when did you come back, why didn't you tell me?" Zhi Tian still asked me with a smile.

Before I could open my mouth, Zhitian's mother said, "Zhitian, be obedient, don't pester brother Zhenglin, you brother Zhenglin just came back, he is still very tired, you go wash your hands first, we have to eat later ok?"

Saying that, the auntie pulled Zhi Tian towards her, and Zhi Tian looked at me with reluctance in his eyes, and then he followed his mother, turned his head three times and said to me, "Brother Zhenglin, don't go, wait for me ..."

Looking at Zhitian's back, my heart...will be broken...

After Zhitian left, Mu Yunfan walked into Zhitian's small garden, and I followed. I knew that he would definitely tell me what happened.

"These are planted by Zhi Tian for you, do you like them?"

I looked at this garden, and I could see that each one was carefully cared for, there were no dazzling flowers, each one was in a light color, which made people feel very comfortable.

"Zhi Tian lost his memory," Mu Yunfan said lightly.

I stared at him with wide eyes, amnesia, how could it be, that just now...

"Well, it's strange, he still remembers you, hehe" Mu Yunfan smiled wryly again.

"Xiao Zhenglin! I really lost to you, completely lost! At the beginning, when Zhitian was sent to the hospital, I saw that his bleeding had reached the point of shock, but he still held me tightly. He didn't let go until I promised to hand over to the judge the document that he exonerated you, and he passed out. In the operating room, his heart stopped at one point, and I used a defibrillator and shocked him four times , and snatched him back from the hands of the God of Death..."

Mu Yunfan squatted on the ground and put away the small shovel next to the flowerpot, "When Zhitian woke up, he didn't remember me, but...he still remembered you and his parents. He woke up and looked at the ward. Four weeks ago, the first thing he said was 'Brother Zhenglin'" Mu Yunfan looked at me with a wry smile "Later, I invited a psychiatrist, and he told me that Zhi Tian suffered from psychogenic amnesia, and his lost memories , It was caused by the psychological inability to bear after suffering the pain. The doctor tested Zhitian, and the memory of Zhitian only stayed at about 14 years old. The doctor said that this may be the best time in his heart. Xiao Zhenglin, You are so lucky, you have done so many unconscionable things, and Zhitian chose this method to forgive you in the end..."

I...Happiness...Mu Yunfan's words woke me up, a scum like me, Zhitian...he gave me another chance...

A chance that I thought I would not be able to exchange with my life...

"After Zhi Tian recovered from his injury, he often asked where you were. His mother lied to him that you went to study in a far away place. Zhi Tian didn't believe it. He said that you don't like studying and you often skip classes. It must be impossible. Then Uncle Xiong lied to him that it was true, saying that when Zheng Lin left, he would come back as long as you planted 100 kinds of flowers in the garden. At that time, we were just a stopgap measure, in order to find something to do for Zhi Tian , so that his life can be enriched slowly... But every time I see him planting flowers seriously, I know that this method is wrong, Zhi Tian...he will never forget you..."

My cheeks are already full of tears, I don't know what to say, Zhi Tian's love is too pure, am I worthy of this love for him... In the past, he thought of everything for me, but I always Worrying, avoiding, and even deeply hurting him... I who is so bad, I will only make him suffer, why...why does he still want to...

"Xiao Zhenglin, please, love him." Mu Yunfan reluctantly squeezed out the words, "No matter how hard I try, I'm not one ten thousandth as good as you, so I admit defeat, I give up... Please... , love him, love Zhitian, take my share, love him together... As long as he is happy, as long as he smiles, as long as you can do it... I will also choose to forget the past."

Forget... Everyone... What are you doing... Don't you stop me, don't you teach me for Zhitian... They are giving me a chance... Give me a chance to love Zhitian...

My tears couldn't stop... dripped in Zhitian's garden...

I looked at this garden and trembled uncontrollably, "Mu Yunfan... thank you..."

Mu Yunfan stood up and walked out of the small garden, "Xiao Zhenglin, it's not me you should thank"

Zhi Tian ran over quickly again, he was afraid that I would leave again...

Mu Yunfan took a look at us and left quietly, only Zhitian and I are left here...

He ran over blushing and looked at the garden, "Brother Zhenglin, don't be angry, although there are only 63 species, but I really worked hard... Don't be angry, I will definitely plant 100 species"

I couldn't bear it anymore, I pulled him closer and kissed his lips frantically.I closed my eyes, I don't know what Zhitian's expression is, but I can feel that his body is stiff.

I hugged him into my arms again, and the regret, longing, and love for so long were all released in an instant without leaving anything behind.

"Zhi Tian...I like you...do you like me?"

Zhi Tian was frightened, I could feel his heart beating, it was about to jump out.

"It's not...it's not between brothers, it's...Zhitian, I love you, whether you love me or not, Zhitian, I want to tell you, I'm gay, I love you, I want to be with you... "

I said it all in one breath, I really didn't expect that I would still have the opportunity to say it all... No one will understand the feeling of regaining it after losing it, but at this moment, with me, it is a kind of life-threatening feeling. Willing to change again to cherish.

Zhitian's face was leaning against my ear, and the heat rushed towards my ear.

"Brother Zhenglin...I love you too..."

"Zhi Tian, ​​call me Zheng Lin"

Zhi Tian trembled a bit, but still obediently whispered in my ear, "Zhenglin...I love you"

My tears flowed onto Zhitian's shoulders, he was a little flustered, but I still hugged him tightly and didn't let go.

"Zhi Tian, ​​I have learned how to cook bibimbap, and I want to make it for you..."

No matter what happens in the future, I will never leave again. In fact, what I think in my heart now is as simple as that.

(End of the article)