bitter fireworks

Chapter 25

Life is like sailing. We always hope that there is a lighthouse ahead that can illuminate our way forward.And Xiaopeng is just the lighthouse of my life. Since I have him, my life is full of passion and hope.It's just that now my hope and motivation are about to disappear. He is Chen Xiao's person now, and Chen Xiao is his ultimate belonging. They are together is what people want and what everyone hopes for. Everything about me has come to naught , disappeared.

During the days in Pucheng, Chen Xiao always liked to be together with Xiaopeng, but I became the light bulb next to me instead.Although I felt very uncomfortable, I still managed to put on a smile, afraid that Xiaopeng would make it difficult, and I didn't want him to make it difficult.Besides, Chen Xiao is indeed a good person, beautiful and has such deep affection for Xiaopeng, I can only be beautiful as an adult, even though I feel extremely sad and reluctant.I have never understood the pain of a love triangle before, but today I have experienced it personally. The heart-wrenching and sleepless pain really makes people cry, and the pain is unspeakable. Sometimes I really want to masturbate myself to soothe the pain in my heart. Boredom and pain!

We are all men, and we always hope to have a bright future, but the reality has made a joke for us, making us men fall in love with men, is it because of our own will or God's will?I really don't know, and I don't want to know, I only know that the one I love in this life is a man, I don't know the reason, I fell in love with this man deeply, maybe there is no right or wrong, and there is no reality, everything It’s all a feeling from the bottom of my heart. When I feel better, I walk together when my heart is moved, because we are all human, and we all hope to be nourished by love in our hearts, and the person who can nourish us will be captured unconsciously. Our heart, we can't even lift it up, and we can't let it go.

I wake up day by day, and I wander day by day, facing Xiaopeng and Chen Xiao, I really feel unspeakably sad.

In the past, Xiaopeng and I have left again and again, and come back again and again, but this time may be our last meeting.Although I said to fulfill them, the pain in my heart still lingers. I really fell in love, and I loved it so much that I was a little self-abuse, but I didn't want Xiaopeng to feel that I owed me anything, let alone let him I felt like I owed them something, so I pretended to be indifferent and righteous, but I didn't know how many tears I shed and how much my heart was broken behind their backs.People, what a contradiction, it's really time for me to leave Xiaopeng, no matter how helpless, no matter how sad, can they see it?Do I let them see it?Even if I bite off my teeth, I can only swallow it in my stomach. This is reality and helplessness. Can I control it?

Finally mustering up the courage, I found a suitable opportunity to say to Xiaopeng: "Xiaopeng, it's time for us to go home. We have been in Shaanxi for too long..."

"Brother, are you really in such a hurry to go back? Don't you want to stay with me? Or..." Xiaopeng was a little anxious, maybe he was still worried that I would have prejudice against Chen Xiao.

"I've been here for almost a month, and I've been eating and drinking here for so long, no matter how willful my brother is, I should go home and report for duty, hehe..." I deliberately teased him pretending to be happy.

"Brother Yong, it is said that rich people are self-willed, why are you self-willed? Did you win the lottery and become a local tyrant? Haha..." Liu Wang didn't know when he came, and he flashed out such a sentence, which really scared me I jumped.

"You don't want to play, why come here? Hurry up, Xiaopeng and I still have something to talk about, you go to accompany Chen Xiao first, drag her for a while, we will come over later..." I confessed Follow Liu Wang!

"I'll wipe...let me run errands every time!" Liu Wang said as he ran away.

Watching Liu Wang go away, I continued to chat with Xiaopeng.

"Xiaopeng, there is no permanent banquet in the world. Sooner or later, we will break up. Let's be realistic." I looked at Xiaopeng and said, today's Xiaopeng is still the same as the Xiaopeng I met for the first time, handsome Handsome, ruffian, with a bad feeling, very sunny and chic, and his smile is still so bright.

"What? Brother, you want to break up with me?" Xiaopeng looked surprised, and his tone was unexpected and loud.

"What are you talking about? I mean go home. Don't tell me I won't go home after staying here for the rest of my life?" I said angrily.

"Oh...it's not too bad, I thought you would ignore me in the future and want to break up!" Xiaopeng looked at me and said.

"In the future, you should get along well with Chen Xiao. If you have time, we will call more often. I want to book a ticket today and go home in the next two days. I have been away for a long time. I miss my mother too. Alas... I am really afraid The tree wants to be quiet but the wind does not stop, the son wants to be filial but the relatives are not there, my son has failed too much, and has never been able to fulfill his filial piety..." When I think of the mother at home, I feel very emotional, and my nose is sore, as if still There are hot tears in the eyes.

"Brother, I know you are a filial person and a loyal person. Needless to say to me, I am really grateful to God for being able to know you in this life. I feel that I have no regrets in this life if I fall in love with you. You go home Take a good rest for yourself, call me if you want me, remember that we will never break up, I will always love you, Chen Xiao also knows this, I told her, she also understands, and she also feels very owed You still feel like you are taking love with a knife..." When Xiaopeng was talking, there seemed to be liquid swirling in his eyes.

"Then let's book tickets..." I said.

"Well, okay, brother, let's take some of our Shaanxi local products back home, even if I honor my uncle and aunt..." Xiaopeng was really thoughtful, and I really forgot if he didn't mention it.

"Well... let's go, talk to Chen Xiao and we'll book tickets!"

The tickets were issued the next day. We took the train in Weinan, but there was no bus from Pucheng to our hometown.

The time to see them off was also a day of separation. Suddenly leaving Xiaopeng, the heart-piercing feeling and hesitant words kept spinning in my heart, like pouring a five-flavored bottle, with mixed flavors.

It's really a feeling of "You came gently, just like you left gently, I waved my hand and didn't take away a cloud", but I kept holding back the tears that I was about to shed, and smiled with them Talking, and Xiaopeng is clearly reluctant and sad, but still talking and laughing with me.

The train started, and through the glass window, I looked at Xiaopeng standing outside. He was still in a daze, looking at the train and refusing to leave.At this time, I really realized that the joys and sorrows of life and love and hatred really caught us off guard and made us helpless.

Bit by bit, the line of sight was slowly drawn away by the movement of the train until it disappeared. Xiaopeng's smiling face and everything disappeared in an instant, and could only appear in dreams and memories in the future.Thinking of this, I finally couldn't hold back my tears, and they flowed down. Liu Wang saw my choking and sadness, and felt pain in my heart.In fact, I know Liu Wang's heart, and I have always been very grateful for his care and concern for me, but I have always only regarded him as a brother and friend.Be a brother in this life, and miss you in the next life, the drifting river, every night and every night when it rains, I will still think of you, brother!

your eyes

dripping with sadness

turn into ice

freeze my heart

i would like to burn

With life as a wick

Even if burned

bright for you

I'm ahead

I've been waiting for you for a long time

you are on the way

very hard to walk

wait until everything is clear

you and my brother have love

take everything lightly

calm and breezy

two people walking together

different age but same breast

The way to come

too much hardship

just conquer

heart's highest peak

can overlook

The most beautiful scenery

Xiaopeng, my brother and lover, goodbye!Brother bless you, love you, miss you, sincerely want to be with you forever!

(I sincerely hope everyone’s encouragement and comments, thank you friends who have been recommending, and thank you friends who made suggestions!)