white noise

1 Funeral

The author has something to say: This article seems to have been saved for a long time, it is a short story, and it will end in chapters eight or nine.

The background of the story is Xi'an, a common state-owned factory in those days.

Many stories are often different, but what if the material is corrupted and the human heart is still there?

Is to persist or give up.

It seems very simple, but it seems not so simple.

Yi Teng's father passed away.The cause of death was a by-product of long-term alcoholism, acute cerebral infarction.

Although there is an old funeral parlor in this decaying state-run factory area in the eastern suburbs of Xi'an, the locals are still used to setting up mourning halls in the open space of the community.

Following the local customs, Yi Teng also applied for permission from the neighborhood committee to receive condolences from relatives and friends in this white mourning hall built halfway up the slowly ascending slope.

However, after three days, not many people came to pay homage to his father.

Except for my aunt's family who had moved to the western suburbs, as well as a few close friends and old neighbors from my ancestors, my father's middle school colleagues were basically absent.

Worth mentioning.Yi Teng rushed back to this place from Beijing five days ago to organize the funeral, and he expected this situation to happen.

His father used to be a senior high school chemistry teacher in a key middle school in the local city, and he only taught senior high school every year.His father taught him since he was a child that outstanding talents deserve to be respected and loved.Now that his funeral is so deserted, I don't know how he will feel when he sees it in the spirit of heaven.

Yi Teng stood up from the simple folding chair in the mourning hall, wiped the sweat from his forehead impatiently, and looked out into the hot street.In the scorching heat with no wind in the afternoon, the paper petals on the wreath at the entrance of the mourning hall seemed to have faded and remained motionless.

The moment he stood up, he felt a little dazed.Although the summer night in Xi'an is not difficult outdoors, he has hardly closed his eyes during the past few days.

The scorching sun seems to kill bacteria, and even the smell of incense in the mourning hall has been killed by half.Yi Teng was about to turn around to add incense, but a concise greeting came from behind him.It turned out that two former students of my father came to worship.

Yi Teng's cousin, Zhang Han, was working as an intern in the remote control company in the rest area behind the mourning hall. When she heard the movement, she ran out from behind the coffin in sweat profusely, and caught a man and a woman who looked a little older than Yi Teng. .The man was wearing a pair of rimless glasses, with a mixed business smile and mechanized grief on his face. After signing the name of Class [-], Grade [-], No. [-] Middle School on the register, he and the women who came together Go to the altar to mourn.

Before the two left, they left Yi Teng a white envelope, saying that the money was not much, and it was a little kindness from the classmates in the class.Everyone couldn't make time for work on Friday, so we sent the two of us here.Don't think too little of it.

Yi Teng listened to their greetings, and was about to deal with it when, looking over the man's shoulder, he happened to see the figure of Liu Rugui, a middle school classmate, appearing on the curb not far from the mourning hall.

Liu Rugui's once half-length self-roll had turned into a round inch, and he was still holding a three or four-year-old boy in his arms, with a bit of sadness in his still harmless expression.This was the first time Yi Teng saw Liu Rugui, a junior high school classmate after returning to Xi'an, and he never thought that Liu Rugui was still holding a child.

Under the almost white sunlight, Liu Rugui, who squinted her eyes, seemed to have become another person who was very different from her high school days.But when he met Yi Teng's gaze, he didn't look away, but opened his eyes wide under the strong light.

A certain nerve in Yi Teng's brain was grabbed by his gaze, and he writhed and struggled in an instant.He withdrew his eyes and opened his mouth to express his gratitude to his father's students, but the words got stuck.Licking his chapped lips, Yi Teng slowly shifted his gaze, trying to recall what he wanted to say just now, and found that his brain was as pale as the outdoor sunlight.

"Look at our family, Yi Teng, I've been really busy these two days." Zhang Han didn't know Liu Rugui, so he thought Yi Teng was tired, so he quickly took the envelope, patted Yi Teng on the shoulder, and rushed forward The two people who came to worship explained apologetically.

Zhang Han's words calmed the dying nerves, Yi Teng regained his composure abruptly, apologized and thanked his father's students with his usual composure, and then sent them out of the mourning hall.

Seeing the two figures in black disappear at the end of the slowly ascending slope, Yi Teng loosened his tie casually, turned his gaze back to look at the place where Liu Rugui was standing just now, and found him stuck in place like a telegraph pole.

When Yi Teng was preparing for his father's funeral, he did not inform any of his middle school classmates.Reuniting in front of their father's mourning hall is probably the worst way for both of them.He didn't understand why Liu Rugui appeared here.

Yi Teng felt that he should say something to him, something like "Why are you here", "You shouldn't be here".Three months ago, he would definitely have done this.But now, exhausted by insomnia and the funeral, he just wants to end it quickly, leave here, and return to Beijing.

Thinking of this, his gaze unconsciously shifted from Liu Rugui to the little boy in Liu Rugui's arms.With unusually fair skin and dark brown curly hair, this child looks a bit like Liu Rugui from before.In particular, those puppy-like moist, anxious little eyes are very much like Liu Rugui when she was a child.

Before Yi Teng could look away, the little boy was so frightened by his gaze that he burst into tears.Howling at the top of his voice, he twisted his body, grabbed Liu Rugui's white T-shirt tightly with both hands, pressed his whole face against Liu Rugui's chest, wiped away his nose and tears, and cried even more faintly secretly.

Liu Rugui panicked for a moment, and simply nodded at Yi Teng, then hurriedly coaxed the little boy with a embarrassed expression.

"Okay, okay, crying in front of my father's death is more painful than I am, and you have done your filial piety." Yi Teng was disturbed by the little boy's crying, and his head was buzzing, and he laughed secretly in his heart. Kicking away the mineral water bottle discarded by someone in front of the mourning hall, he turned back to the mourning hall.After a while, the crying disappeared.When Yi Teng put down the flower baskets he was arranging and looked back, both Liu Rugui and the little boy had disappeared.

In the evening, the mourning hall arranged for a company to tidy up the scene.After Yi Teng paid the money, he and Zhang Han walked up the long slope in front of the community for a while, and found a Sichuan restaurant that looked clean.

Three dishes and one soup were placed in front of the two of them. Zhang Han tied his hair back, rested his elbows on the dining table tiredly, looked at the bloodshot eyes in Yi Teng, and finally said: "What do you want?" If you help, just say a word, don't try to be brave."

Ten years ago, after Yi Teng's parents divorced, he went to Beijing with his mother.His grandparents also came to Xi'an from Shenyang to settle in Xi'an when they supported the Northwest, and later gave birth to his father and aunt.Grandpa and grandma passed away long ago, and my aunt's family settled in the western suburbs. Now that his father's funeral has been completed, Yi Teng feels that he has nothing to do with this place.As long as the property left by my father is disposed of, and then return to Beijing to continue to work hard to manage the business, it will be fine.

He smiled and twisted his tie, and said lightly, no problem, what problem can I have.

Zhang Han shook his head in disbelief, buried himself in two mouthfuls of rice, raised his eyes and asked, "Is the man who brought the child today an acquaintance of yours?"

Yi Teng was stunned for a moment, then lowered his head to drink the boiled water that smelled of disinfectant in the glass.After taking two sips and almost spit it out, he wiped the corner of his mouth with his hand, and replied simply that he was neither an acquaintance nor a classmate.

Zhang Han's expression relaxed, and he took out a pack of tissues from his bag and handed it to Yi Teng, and said thoughtfully: "The children are so old. No wonder you are embarrassed to say hello to others. Hurry up, at least Bring a girlfriend back, don't worry my mother."

After hearing this, Yi Teng continued to pick up vegetables for Zhang Han, saying to eat faster, but his eyes were full of disapproval.

Although Zhang Han seldom meets Yi Teng, the occasional contact on the Internet also makes her understand that her cousin is a coward who is very brave and will not admit defeat.Even if it is a good word, if you say too much in front of him, it will become a sham, and you don't know when it will detonate his human bomb.

So she ate with a dull head, and when she was almost done eating, she shouted at the waiter to pay the bill.Yi Teng rushed to pay, so she silently took back her wallet, picked up a black baseball cap from the table and put it on her head, and said: "Don't drive me off today, just go home and lie down when you're full. There's nothing to do tomorrow Come to my house when you have something to do, my mother came over after recovering from heatstroke, and said she would cook something delicious for you."

Yi Teng also got up and followed her out of the restaurant, explaining that there was a class reunion tomorrow night and he would go there in two days.I'm tired these days, let my aunt rest for two more days.

Zhang Han nodded, waved at him, and walked towards the subway with his hands free.

Yi Teng didn't eat a few mouthfuls of food. In the residual heat of the summer night, he felt his head turned and the nerve behind his left ear throbbed and ached.The huge industrial area where Yi Teng's father's house is located consists of at least 5 large state-run factories.The industrial zone not only solves the employment of tens of thousands of people, but also provides a series of supporting facilities for life, old age, sickness and death from housing, schools, shopping malls, cinemas to hospitals. It can be regarded as a typical representative of the earliest integration of industry and city.People who live here can never leave for a lifetime, and there are indeed many people who have lived here for a lifetime.

Because it was built on the Bailuyuan, the terrain here is undulating, and slopes and steps have become the most common road forms.

Yi Teng walked down the slope along the road he came from, and the sidewalks on both sides of the road were full of old people and middle-aged people who came out to enjoy the shade.Since the operation of the state-owned factories has deteriorated year after year, so that most of the factories have gone bankrupt, there seem to be fewer and fewer young people here.Although the main road connecting the two factories has been widened by the municipal government, it is much more grand than before, but it is no longer as lively as it used to be.

Yi Teng walked to the middle of the long slope, and there was an open intersection in front of him.This intersection is formed by two vertically staggered slope roads intersecting from the middle.Although there are no vehicles passing by at ordinary times, traffic lights are also installed.

He didn't look closely at the traffic lights, and quickly crossed the road, stopped at the southwest corner of the intersection, and looked at the residential area built along the slope, the dots of dim yellow lights were exactly the same as ten years ago.

It has been three or four years since Yi Teng's insomnia relapsed.Sometimes, half asleep and half awake, I dream about the scene in front of me.In the dream, in the factory and residential area where it was hard to tell whether it was dawn or dusk, he turned at this intersection, climbed up a slope several hundred meters long to the east, passed the low middle school gate, and then passed the open The primary school gate, continue to walk east along a gentle slope with twists and turns.

Finally, when he came to a huge fig tree, he reached the sixth floor of the building where his house was located.

Climbing up the old stairs to the third floor, the first door on the left is his home.

Unscrewing the rusty door lock and entering the house, a black and white photo of my father in the living room came into view.He walked into the bedroom that once belonged to him without looking up.Sitting down on the wet bed, he took out a cigarette from his pocket and was about to light it, when suddenly he walked out of the living room as if remembering something, came to the portrait of his father, put a lighted cigarette in the incense burner in front of him, and Lighted another cigarette, and smiled absurdly while lying on the incense table in front of the portrait.

He and his father hadn't met in ten years, and the father in the portrait was still the handsome uncle in Yi Teng's memory more than ten years ago.But when he was a child, even if he met every day, he never had a serious conversation with his father.Now, it is even more impossible to smoke and chat together.

In this regard, he does not feel very sorry.The death of his father made him more aware that a hole had been drilled in his memory at some point, and the hole was getting worse and bigger, collapsing rapidly at a speed he couldn't control, and at the same time greedily devouring his sleep .

Yi Teng didn't want to think about it, so he took off his white shirt and trousers that smelled of incense and went to take a shower.Warm water hits dry hair like rain hitting glass.

He took a shower indiscriminately, put on a short sleeve indiscriminately, and lay back on the bed indiscriminately, ready to follow Zhang Han's instructions, turn off the phone and go to sleep.

Yet he could not sleep.

The banhu sound from the radio next door, the bell of the electric car downstairs, the restless cry of a few cicadas, and tinnitus from nowhere scratched his nerves every minute.It turned out that he was more awake when he was lying down than during the day.

When he was at work, whenever he couldn’t fall asleep, he would get up to read materials, write research reports, write plans, retouch pictures, and then repeatedly revise the PPT used for proposals.He adjusted each paragraph in the PPT to the ideal spacing, changed the font size of each title five times for the best effect, and revised the punctuation of each sentence for accuracy.

In this way, he not only overcame the torment of insomnia, but also overtook the promotion of most of his colleagues.

But just when he was exceptionally promoted to the deputy director of the department, the accumulated evil consequences of long-term insomnia prevented him from concentrating on his work.It is clearly in a serious negotiation occasion, but a cold joke, or an irrelevant sentence from a colleague, or just a phantom like an alien creature will float in his mind.Then, his racing brain would freeze and he wouldn't be able to utter a word.So, unsurprisingly, he screwed up two deals one after another.

Contemplating his mistakes in work soberly on the bed, Yi Teng couldn't fall asleep even more, and couldn't even lie on the bed peacefully.

He jumped out of bed, touched the phone from the dusty desk, and waited for half an hour after turning it on, but no one contacted him.It turned out that he was so busy studying and working that no one seemed to need him in the end.

He put away the phone with a wry smile, and began to search for the running shorts in the suitcase, only to find a pair of beach pants with blue background and yellow flowers mixed into the suitcase when he didn't know when.He pulled the pair of beach shorts, looked around, and threw it back into the suitcase.He stood up and swayed around the room twice, and finally he put on the beach shorts indiscriminately and went out.

Ye Youshen Yi Teng walked along the way home to the school.It was nearly twelve o'clock in the evening, and there were no other pedestrians on the street, only he was walking in the shadow of the lush poplar trees beside the road.

As he walked, Yi Teng stopped at the gate of the dark middle school. Thinking of his high-spirited appearance in the most outstanding local school for children, he frowned, picked up a stone on the ground, and walked towards the hall of the main building. direction to cast.

Hearing the sound of stones hitting the glass, his brows relaxed a little, and he continued to turn and walk down the slope.The trees on both sides of the road suddenly turned into birch trees, and their lush branches and leaves made regular waves like waves in the windy night.

Hearing this voice, Yi Teng felt a little nauseous, and kept switching the scenes of his daytime experience in a mess in his mind, and then froze at the scene of Liu Rugui holding the child.

Now that I think about it carefully, that little boy really resembles Liu Rugui.

Is that foolish Liu Rugui who never fights or grabs and never seems to get angry married and has children?

Yi Teng rubbed his eyes and laughed dryly in the quiet darkness.

In his memory, Liu Rugui was a boy who would silently walk away when he heard male classmates get together and talk dirty jokes.In high school, there were neither too many nor too many rumors about Liu Rugui.Some said that his parents divorced when he was a few months old, and some said that he was an illegitimate child.There are even more outrageous claims that he is gay.

But after all, because he has a good temper and takes good care of everyone, everyone in the class, regardless of gender, regardless of whether they are from the Northeast Gang, Henan Gang, or Xi'an, all have a good relationship with him.At that time, Crayon Shin-chan was very popular among classmates, so everyone gave it the nickname Xiaobai.

But for Yi Teng, during the five years of middle school, the person he hated the most was Liu Rugui.Is it because Liu Rugui turned a blind eye to the honor he received?Or is it that his abusive character disgusts him?Yi Teng can't remember now.

He only remembered that Liu Rugui's close presence would make him restless, restless, and lose confidence.

Therefore, as a study committee member, Yi Teng didn't speak to Liu Rugui seriously.Up to now, he still doubts that there will really be girls who like Liu Rugui?And are you willing to continue living in this decaying place, marry him and have children when almost all young people have gone to urban areas, high-tech zones or southern suburbs to make a living?

Yi Teng tried his best to imagine as he walked, but Mrs. Liu was still a white shadow in his imagination, and he couldn't figure out why.

Before he knew it, he came to the crossroad where he stopped at night again.He walked to the concrete railing at the southwest corner of the intersection and stood there.In the depression formed by the intersection of two ramps, several rows of seven-story residential buildings are neatly arranged.

He stared condescendingly at the building next to the intersection.

There was still a light in the window of the house at the end of the first floor.Through the thin white curtains, Yi Teng's sight can easily pass through the balcony and into the bedroom.With white floral sheets and a large beige wardrobe, this bedroom looks like a boudoir.Yi Teng remembers that the layout of this bedroom used to be more casual, and the log-colored table in front of the window was often covered with colorful gouache paints.

While he was peeping into other people's bedrooms, no one entered the room.

Maybe Liu Rugui's family of three is still watching TV in the living room?Perhaps Mrs. Liu was putting the child to sleep in another bedroom, while Liu Rugui was laying on the sofa with bored sleepiness, playing with her mobile phone.After a few more years, will he get tired of family life and cheat?

Yi Teng couldn't imagine such a family scene, nor could he imagine Liu Rugui like this.Because the family and Liu Rugui are too far away from him.

He stood in the night wind for a long time, the lights in the room were still on, and there was no change in the room.

"Liu Rugui, you idiot."

Eh?Did you say something just now?In a trance, it seemed that he heard a terrible sentence, and Yi Teng checked his memory in a panic, trying to find out whether he had opened his mouth just now.

It seems that there is no, and it seems that there is.

He bit his lower lip tightly, and subconsciously touched the ring-shaped scar at the base of his left little finger with his left thumb.A nameless anxiety and anger welled up in my heart.Looking around, there is a can of Wanglaoji lying beside the trash can not far away.

He turned around and picked up the empty soda can, weighed it in his hand, and made sure that the can was heavy enough to hit the window of Liu Rugui's home, so he swung his arm and aimed at the lit window.

With a "bang", the glass in the lower right corner of the window was smashed.

Yi Teng was stunned. He looked back at the soda can still in his hand, dumbfounded.

And the culprit who suddenly appeared from the darkness turned into a black shadow in an instant and disappeared at the corner of the narrow path in front of the residential building.

Yi Teng's consciousness seemed to be a little clearer.Before he could take back his hand, he saw the white curtains being pulled open, Liu Rugui was standing in front of the window and looking out sleepily, and when he raised his eyes, he saw Yi Teng standing on the top of the slope.