white noise

5 2 Power Chapter

Yi Teng ran a long way in one breath.He doesn't want to go back to his father's house now anyway.The rented car tires haven't had time to be repaired, and there's no way to get a taxi late at night in this damn place.After thinking about it, he walked west along the sloping road, turned right at a T-junction, and came to the most prosperous commercial street in the factory area.

At this time, only Internet cafes and KTVs are still open.Without hesitation, Yi Teng went straight into the Internet cafe.

Behind the black marble bar, a girl who didn't seem to have graduated from high school opened an account for him.He walked into the game area with a small ticket marked with account number and password.In front of a total of [-] computers in three rows in the game area, there were almost no seats left.The flashing color blocks and lights on the screen are dazzling.

Yi Teng sat down in front of the computer, put on his earphones, stopped thinking about things that irritated him, and played CS among a group of LOL middle school students.It seems that 12 years have passed since he played CS last time, and he has to admit that his reaction has really slowed down a lot, and his hand feeling is basically gone.If the middle school students around him caught a glimpse of him playing CS, would they feel disdainful in their hearts just like when I saw my uncle playing card games in an Internet cafe?

The time passed 12 o'clock before he knew it, and when he returned home with his body that had been crushed by consciousness, Yi Teng suddenly found a black plastic bag hanging on the old doorknob.

Although the remaining rationality in his mind told him not to explore, he subconsciously opened the plastic bag.

A foul stench hit his face.A three-prong covered in blood curled up in the bag.The staring eyes with no warmth indicated that it was dead.

A sour water surged in Yi Teng's stomach.He threw away the plastic bag, covered his mouth with the back of his hand, and suppressed the urge to vomit.

"Who the hell did this?" He straightened up, put the fallen cat's paw into the plastic bag with the toe of his shoe, and let out a loud growl.

In the silence of the early morning, he received no response.

After cursing a few more words in the corridor, he tried his best to contain his anger, went into the room to find some old newspapers, carefully wrapped them in plastic bags, and placed them in the empty space next to the trash can downstairs.

As he repeatedly washed his hands in the bathroom, he wondered who would pull such a tasteless prank.No one he ever knew lived here, and he had no grudges against him.

But what if it was someone who had made enemies with his father, or his family?

Not nothing.

Yi Teng remembered that ten years ago, when he asked Liu Rugui to investigate the cheating of the two parents, Liu Rugui hesitated.

"Should I talk to my parents? At least let me talk to my mother first..." Liu Rugui asked tentatively.From his flickering eyes, Yi Teng knew that he was also entangled like himself, unable to make up his mind.

"Do you think it's useful for us to tell them something?" Yi Teng cut off his words decisively.

At that time, they couldn't understand the feelings of adults, and their intuitive helplessness made people decide that something must be done immediately to restore balance to life.

The decision was that he had to find solid evidence to make his father pay the price and prevent his mother from being hurt again.

Then both of us can let go of this heartache.Yi Teng persuaded Liu Rugui like this at the time.He didn't know if Liu Rugui took his words seriously, or for other reasons.

In short, they started a private follow-up investigation.

All went well for the next two weeks.Yi Teng stored a lot of blurry photos in the digital camera he stole from home.

Even when Yi Teng couldn't sleep, he could only wander around the factory area late at night with Liu Rugui.The two of them share a secret that cannot be revealed to others, and they may rot in their stomachs for the rest of their lives.

Until that Sunday afternoon, in a small hotel away from the factory area, Yi Teng and Liu Rugui hid opposite the room where their parents were dating and stood still.

Yi Teng's digital camera ran out of battery that day, so he used Liu Rugui's Polaroid to take two photos of the two of them entering the hotel.He lay on the narrow bed outside the room and looked at those two photos repeatedly.

Paper photos are more realistic than digital images.He pinched one of the photos in his hand, and curled the lower right corner of the photo with his thumb and forefinger.

In the photo, the unremarkable backs of the two middle-aged people made him feel a deep fear.

Up to now, he still doesn't know why his father cheated on him, and why he likes Liu Rugui's mother.

When he worked hard for his so-called success every day, he didn't even know his parents, let alone how to communicate with them.

What isolates their family of three into three independent individuals who cannot be intimate?

Yi Teng didn't understand.

What scares him even more is that if the world of adults is so fickle, and adults like the new and dislike the old, so carefree, then when he grows up, won't he be able to escape such laws, or fate?

In the stuffy and cramped standard room, he couldn't feel any warmth.He turned his head to look at Liu Rugui sitting at the end of the bed, and found that he was pointing his Polaroid at the willow branches outside the window, but he hadn't pressed the shutter.

Sensing Yi Teng's gaze, Liu Rugui turned his gaze away, lowered the corners of his eyes and smiled.In the space where time seemed to stand still, the sadness in his eyes could not stop flowing, but when he lost his eye sockets, it turned into comfort and understanding.

Liu Rugui didn't lose her head because her mother was a third party.Because from the very beginning, he believed that this was a matter between adults and had no direct relationship with him.But why did he cooperate with Yi Teng?Did he want his mother to turn back?Or because of something else?

Hey, stop taking pictures, it's annoying to watch.Obviously wanting to understand the other party's thoughts, Yi Teng couldn't help saying the habitual words.

Liu Rugui didn't care about his rude words, put down the camera in his hand, stared at the door for a moment, then turned around and said to Yi Teng, "Let's not continue?"

ah?Yi Teng thought he had heard wrong.While being surprised, he understood that Liu Rugui had no reason to listen to him.

In fact, not to mention Liu Rugui, in the world that I am currently able to reach, what is there that I can change?

It seems like nothing can change.

Maybe he could choose to run away from home and make a living for himself.But would that future be worse than the present?

What kind of life will he face after his parents divorce?Yi Teng couldn't imagine.

He cannot make a choice because of fear.

"Let me talk to my mother?" When he was hesitating, Liu Rugui approached him and suggested comfortingly.

Yi Teng knew in his heart that this was the best way.But he couldn't admit that he was acting on his own will.

you are silly.As he spoke, he patted Liu Rugui on the head, wanting to interrupt his persuasive proposal.

But just when his hand was close to Liu Rugui's soft self-roll, Liu Rugui held his arm, and asked with a sincere look he had never seen before, "Are you okay?"

For a moment, Yi Teng wanted to withdraw his arm, but found that he was powerless.This feeling is so fucking unpleasant, that he has become a helpless adult at an unexpected time, with trade-offs and a huge loss of not being able to do anything.And the starting point of all this was because of his curiosity about the person in front of him.

If he hadn't entered the movie theater at that time and hadn't seen that scene, would he still focus on studying and various extracurricular activities that can be exchanged for honors as before?

If you don't know anything, isn't that kind of false happiness good?

He lowered his head, held back his tears, and hated Liu Rugui from the bottom of his heart.

"You want to lie to me too?" After a long time, Yi Teng raised his head and questioned Liu Rugui, "Don't you want my parents to divorce because of this? Then your mother won't be alone all the time? You don't need to help me like a cat crying like a mouse..."

Liu Rugui frowned, looked into Yi Teng's eyes, and responded to him in a low voice: "What do you think is this kind of unjust luck? I don't want my mother to get dizzy because of this kind of thing."

What unjust luck!It is because of the unjust luck in your mouth that I have become another person.Yi Teng shook off his hand, intending to jump up from the bed, walk to the door of the opposite room in one go, knock on the door, and see the embarrassing expressions of those two people who don't care about their family's feelings.

Liu Rugui seemed to understand his mind, and hugged him tightly the moment he got up.

"Don't go, please." It is Liu Rugui's principle to be able to solve the problem with the least impact.

let go!Yi Teng roared in a low voice, and subconsciously pushed Liu Rugui's body away with his elbows.

With a dull collision sound, Liu Rugui let go of his arms in silence.Yi Teng turned his head hesitantly, and saw the blood squirming along his cock to his lips, and then fell down to the off-white floor tiles.

Are you all right?Yi Teng froze, and stretched out his hand to Liu Rugui.

"Okay, don't touch me." Liu Rugui took a step back, arched his back slightly, raised his head in a weird posture, and fumbled for a tissue on the TV cabinet beside him with one hand.

Liu Rugui's sentence "Don't touch me" stabbed Yi Teng straight.He held back his anger, grievance and guilt, took the tissue box from Liu Rugui's hand, pulled out a few tissues and handed them to Liu Rugui.

Liu Rugui's tear-filled eyes lowered his gaze, staring at the white toilet paper in front of his chin, hesitantly took it, and put it on his nose.

You'll bleed into your mouth like this.As he spoke, Yi Teng stretched out his hand and pulled the back of his head, making him lower his head with an upturned face.

Liu Rugui shook his head and wanted to shake off his hand, but the smell of blood in his mouth finally made him impatient.He stretched out his hand and pushed Yi Teng away.

"Have you had enough trouble?" Feeling that her nose was no longer sore, Liu Rugui finally looked at Yi Teng squarely and asked in a muffled voice.

what?

I said, have you had enough trouble?

It's finally here.Yi Teng restrained his hostility, and said a sentence silently in his heart.After these two weeks, Liu Rugui finally couldn't bear his torture.Yi Teng looked at Liu Rugui's dark purple circles under his eyes, he couldn't tell whether he was proud or guilty.

"Of course not! I'm not like you. I draw a circle around myself, and I can watch things outside the circle. What do you think you are? Master Jesus?" Thinking of this, Yi Teng became more and more provocative.

Liu Rugui was obviously shocked by his words, and froze in place.He avoided Yi Teng's sight, still covered his mouth, and said, "Teacher Yi is also an ordinary person, you put him too high in your heart. Maybe in two years we..."

His persuasion ended because of Yi Teng's gloomy gaze.Staring at the floor and frowning for a long time, he walked to the door of the room, put his hand on the doorknob, and said, "If you want to make a fuss anyway, and if you don't make a fuss, you will regret it in your life, then go."

Seeing Liu Rugui's reaction, Yi Teng's heart trembled.He knew he didn't have the courage.I'm afraid Liu Rugui also knows.He shook his head, took a step back, and cut his hands backwards.

The only person who had been able and willing to take his whining, tantrums, and all that negativity for the past two weeks finally couldn't take it anymore.

For the first time, Yi Teng felt a panic of losing control.

In the past, he prided himself on his self-control and control.And now, he was scared because a person's feelings were rejecting him.

Maybe in the future, he will never find such a person who is always on call and can watch him so intently.

And how long will your life last?Maybe 10 years, 20 years, 30 years, maybe 50 years.For him personally, the next few decades will be spent in the unknown.

Without Liu Rugui, what would he become?In another environment, he can continue to pursue his academic success, as well as his future work.He can eat well and sleep soundly as usual, and then?The endless, white future washed his brain.

"You...why do you listen to me." Yi Teng suddenly asked this question, turning his head to take a breath.In a dilemma, he always felt that he had to grasp this feeling.Even if this feeling is just a head and four faces, and it comes from myths and legends.

After hearing this, Liu Rugui's brows relaxed, and his face suddenly turned red, as if the blood that flowed out just now had stained his face red.By the end, even his hand covering his nose was rendered red.

There was no need for Liu Rugui's answer, Yi Teng understood instantly.He seemed to have found an outlet for his feelings, no matter whether the feelings were out of admiration or just playing a rogue.

correct.Even if it's a rogue.Yi Teng realized that he had never cheated, not even with his neurotic mother.

"Why?" He leaned closer to Liu Rugui and asked again.

Liu Rugui shook his head and reached out to push him away.Although the nosebleed no longer flowed, he still covered his nose, his eyes flickered like those of a puppy, and muffled, "Because why... is this kind of thing important now?"

"Tell me. If you tell me, I promise you that you won't do such things as stalking anymore, and I won't harass you in the middle of the night." Yi Teng said as he pulled away Liu Rugui's hand that was covering his nose.

Although it was wiped off with a tissue, the blood still left deep orange marks under Liu Rugui's chin and lips.

Liu Rugui blinked, not knowing whether to believe his words or not.He wanted to cover his nose with a tissue, but Yi Teng stopped him.

Yi Teng held his cheeks, and asked calmly: "Tell me. Otherwise, I'll tell my mom right now, saying that your mother..."

Liu Rugui's lips moved twice, but in the end he still didn't say a word.Just when his face was getting redder, Yi Teng's face came closer and wiped the blood on the corner of his mouth with his spittle-stained fingers.

Hey!Liu Rugui retreated towards the small space behind him as if being poured on hot oil.He stared at Yi Teng's calm face in disbelief, realized that he had been tricked again, and finally couldn't bear the current situation.

He took the Polaroids off the bed, crumpled them up, and threw them in the trash can at the foot of the bed.After silently completing this series of actions, he raised his head and looked directly into Yi Teng's eyes, and said, "Let's stop making trouble. If this matter gets out, my mother may just lose her job. As for Mr. Yi For me, it’s not just as simple as work, right? Forget it, I’ll go to my mother, and you should try to talk to Mr. Yi. If they have a sense of responsibility for their family and their own life, I don’t think they will do it again. Mess."

After Liu Rugui finished speaking, she bit her lower lip tightly and said frankly with determination: "As for you asking why I will cooperate with you, because... I like you."

Yi Teng was stunned.He didn't expect Liu Rugui to be so frank.

"Then..." Then what?Yi Teng wanted to say something, but his head was stuck.He originally thought that he would be very calm, but when faced with Liu Rugui's candid expression, his mind went blank.

so be it.After staring at each other for a long time, Yi Teng was defeated. After saying this, he quickly fled the room.

The next day, he racked his brains to figure out how to have a showdown with his father.Although maybe this can't change anything, at least he can express his attitude and feelings to his father.This may really be better than getting involved in the parents' emotional disputes.

However, before he could make up his mind to say something, the photo he and Liu Rugui took in front of the hotel was grandiosely posted on the bulletin board at the main entrance of the school early the next morning.

In the lower right corner of that photo, there are traces of being rolled up. It was once crumpled up. Someone picked it out of the trash can and made it public.

Liu Rugui didn't ask Yi Teng to explain, and Yi Teng didn't ask him to question.Because Yi Teng believed what Liu Rugui said.Besides, both of them became the laughing stock of the students in private.How can the two clowns continue to hug each other for warmth?

After that, Yi Teng's father was suspended because of his style of work.After Yi Teng's mother found out about her husband's cheating, she started pestering Liu Rugui's mother repeatedly.Liu Rugui's mother also became delirious because of this incident, and died in a car accident half a month later.

Later, Yi Teng didn't expect his mother to resolutely divorce his father and take him back to his natal family.He and Liu Rugui had no contact again.

Recalling the messy past, Yi Teng didn't walk to the living room shaking the water drops on his hands until the skin on his fingers turned red from washing.He picked up the phone receiver on the edge of the TV cabinet, recalled and confirmed a series of eight-digit numbers in his mind, and then quickly pressed a series of number buttons.

The phone rang twice, hung up, and then dialed again. At the third ring, Liu Rugui's sleepy voice appeared on the other end of the phone.

"Did you do it?" Yi Teng said directly into the microphone.

Liu Rugui hesitated for a moment, then asked with concern: "Is something wrong?"

Yi Teng's brain hurt even more after hearing this.He ignored Liu Rugui's inquiry, and continued to ask: "You just said that you did what happened tonight?"

Liu Rugui was silent on the phone.Yi Teng heard the voice of a child chattering in the background of the phone, although he couldn't hear what he was saying, but Yi Teng realized that the little boy he met yesterday was woken up by his phone call.

"I don't know what misunderstanding you have...you tell me what happened first?" Liu Rugui asked after comforting the noisy child on the phone in a low voice.

The anger in Yi Teng's head seemed to burst open a fine tear, and along this tear, his anger leaked out bit by bit.Holding the microphone in his hand, Yi Teng's head gradually turned into an empty vacuum.

Why did he doubt Liu Rugui?If he wanted revenge, he probably wouldn't wait until today.

"...It's fine if it's not you. I'm hanging up, bye." Realizing this, Yi Teng wanted to hang up the phone.

"Wait a minute. It's okay if you don't want to say it... Tonight, I'm sorry, I didn't consider your feelings. I... I just want to tell you that you have been thinking about you." Liu Rugui hurriedly stopped him, poor Can't give up.

Yi Teng was silent for a long time listening to Liu Rugui's words.Liu Rugui's persistence made him feel familiar.A few years ago, he also chased after the feelings he was sure of, but in the end?

"It has nothing to do with me." Staring at the light white scar on his left finger, he resolutely rejected Liu Rugui and hung up the phone.

Yi Teng put away the phone, reminded himself to be safe, and then thought about finding something to do, and finally he started to pack up his father's belongings in the living room.Textbooks, reference books, and tattered lesson plans from more than ten years ago were packed in boxes of cardboard boxes.Because of that family dispute back then, Yi Teng's father was devastated, and later even retired from his teaching position, but he was still reluctant to throw away these work supplies.

The father's bedroom is very simple, and the furniture is still in the style of more than ten years ago.There were many empty wine bottles stuffed in the cabinet and under the bed.Yi Teng lined up these wine bottles one by one in front of the room door.Turning back to look in the wardrobe, something wrapped in black plastic caught his attention.

Yi Teng took out the half-person tall rectangular object.Three times, five times and two times, he peeled off the tightly attached plastic paper, revealing the black nylon covering.Yi Teng realized that this was his guitar bag.He subconsciously threw the bag in his hand back into the wardrobe.Hearing the dull sound of the old wooden boards in the cabinet, he took out the guitar bag again, pulled the jerky plastic slider, and the guitar that he broke appeared in front of him.

I don't know when the guitar was repaired.Looking at the guitar in front of him, Yi Teng recalled the picture of his father repairing the guitar.When he was a child, apart from being strict with his studies, his father actually supported him all the time in doing what he liked. "But since the decision is made, we must do our best." It's just that his father's goal-oriented values ​​made him feel scared, and he respected it.

Liu Rugui was right, in the past he put his father too high.Children often place their parents and elders on the moral high ground.Once their behavior is slightly deviated, it is difficult to understand.If he tried to understand at that time, would he have become more mature?At least he won't be repeatedly frustrated in dealing with feelings?

Yi Teng rubbed his sleepy eyes, put away his guitar, and faced a mountain of white wine bottles on the balcony.Taibai, Shuanggou, Xifeng, glass wine bottles of various brands were scattered and piled up on the balcony.

Yi Teng picked up a Taibai wine bottle in his hand, weighed it up, and decided to find a waste collector to come to his house to clean it up some other day.

The wine bottle in his hand hadn't returned to its place when the old landline in the corner of the living room suddenly rang, making the bottle in Yi Teng's hand tremble in fright.

After returning, no one has ever contacted Yi Teng through this phone.I didn't expect anyone to remember their home phone number.

Thinking about it this way, the most likely person to call is Liu Rugui who he had contacted just now.

The phone ringing etc. will always stop.Yi Teng sat back on the sofa and looked at his father's portrait, but didn't answer the phone.

But the phone kept ringing unrecognizably.It was particularly harsh in the quiet family building.The uncle next door coughed non-stop in his sleep.Yi Teng got up and picked up the microphone.

"Look at what time it is now? Is there anything you can't say another day?" Yi Teng didn't have the strength to reprimand, and said into the microphone in a stiff and procrastinated voice.

There was a moment of silence on the phone, and then a strange voice rang out.However, the tone of that speech made Yi Teng feel very familiar.

"Yi Teng, it's me."

The penultimate word at the end of the sentence is slightly longer, with a lazy hoarse voice.Hearing this tone, Yi Teng suddenly remembered the corners of the speaker's lips curled up in a sneer.

"It's me, He Cheng. Didn't you hear it?" The person on the other end of the phone seemed to notice that Yi Teng was stuck, so he reported his family name.

"How could it be that I didn't hear it? Is the old buddy old? It's been a long time." Yi Teng put away the tone just now, and whispered in his heart while exchanging greetings: This He Cheng, where did you get the call at this hour?

He Cheng responded, explaining that he just came back from Australia these two days and missed the class reunion.Hearing that Yi Teng is back, I thought about making an appointment for dinner with him.

He Cheng is jet lagged?Yi Teng murmured in his heart, agreeing that of course it would be fine.His old classmate made an appointment for dinner, but he had no reason to refuse.

He Cheng seemed to laugh on the phone, and proposed to meet at a restaurant near Wulukou tomorrow night, actually this evening.

OK, no problem.Yi Teng agreed, and suddenly realized that he didn't have much time to sleep.

"By the way." After a moment of silence, He Cheng added as if he suddenly remembered something, "I heard that Teacher Yi has passed away. My condolences."

After Yi Teng thanked him, he heard He Cheng say on the phone: "You left with your mother in the third year of high school. I suddenly remembered something, and I don't know whether I should tell you."

Yi Teng's heart tightened and he asked him to speak directly.

"I later found out that it was Teacher Chen who posted those photos of Teacher Yi at the school gate. Do you remember? The chemistry teacher who taught the first year of high school at that time, wearing glasses with very thick lenses, and a pockmarked face...I heard that his brother He runs a hotel and got the photos from his brother."

Yi Teng listened as if he was listening to a distant story.

"If Teacher Yi hadn't passed away, I would have almost forgotten about it." After finishing speaking, He Cheng explained in a lazy voice.

If you don't tell me, I will forget.Yi Teng replied like this, but couldn't remember what He Cheng said again.

Yi Teng hung up the phone, recalling the past.Perhaps Mr. Chen's brother picked up the photos that Liu Rugui lost back then, and handed them over to Mr. Chen.In his memory, Mr. Chen was just an ordinary and monotonous person.Out of jealousy among his colleagues, he did not expect him to do such a thing.

Although he and Liu Rugui didn't handle the photo matter cautiously enough, he understood that what Liu Rugui said might be right.Nothing is their fault.They are just the most helpless recipients in this matter.If at that time he was already the adult he is now, wouldn't he have coped better?

Knowing about Teacher Chen, what will Liu Rugui do?

Whether it was ten years ago or now, Liu Rugui used a reckless tone to express his love to him, but he himself refused time and time again.He never considered whether Liu Rugui, who was also a high school student at the time, was as isolated and helpless as himself?

He never thought about it.Because at that time he was blinded by loss and anger, and he had no intention of thinking about others.

Now, is he strong enough to try to understand Liu Rugui?

What He Cheng told Yi Teng tortured him and made him continue to suffer from insomnia.After changing his clothes and putting on the pair of beach pants with yellow flowers on the blue background, Yi Teng, who couldn't sleep, started to go out for night tours again.

Unknowingly, he traveled to the intersection next to Liu Rugui's home again at night.The window facing the street of Liu Rugui's home was black and lit.

But there were some things he wanted to tell Liu Rugui.

Just when he lowered his head and looked around, hesitating whether to formally knock on the door of Liu Rugui's home, a black figure sprang out again and broke the newly installed window glass of Liu Rugui's home.This time, with a string of lit firecrackers.