lose

Chapter 4

April 2011

Tong Yanxing

2011 is here, and I just sent the entries to the mailbox of the person in charge of the competition a few days ago.

I used the brightest colors to adjust Zhanning's photos, trying to give people the most cheerful feeling, which can make people's eyes shine.

For the title, I hesitated for a long time. I wanted to use "Zhan Ning" as the title, but after thinking for a long time, I finally remembered the original intention at the time, so I wrote down the title without hesitation, and then posted it after making revisions. past.

After sending the entry photos, I sat at the desk for a long time. I didn't know what else to do, I could only look at the photos again and again, thinking of him and loving him in my memories.

I remembered that when I heard that Zhanning had leukemia, my first reaction was to go home and lie down, and I really did.

As a result, when I got home and lay in bed, I regretted it.What happened to me, why did I run back as soon as I heard the news?Zhanning must feel very strange and at a loss, what should I do?

After thinking about it for a long time, I still decided to go back to the hospital first, at least to see Zhanning and ask the reason of the matter.

But when I came out and saw the photo of Zhanning that I had developed and framed and placed in the living room, I stopped short.

I went to the hospital, what should I ask him?Ask him if he has blood cancer, and ask him if he has only one year to live?Am I going to ask him this?

Looking at Zhan Ning in the photo, I suddenly felt so powerless, his smile was so beautiful at that time, but I couldn't make him smile forever and live...

I threw my phone against the wall angrily, lay on the ground, and never wanted to get up again.

I don't know how long I lay there, and when I woke up in a daze, I found that it was already ten o'clock in the evening, and I turned out to be asleep.

I didn't get up from the ground immediately, I was still lying down, looking up at the ceiling, as if watching for a while, Zhanning's pale face appeared in front of my eyes again, I seemed to see him again when I left in a hurry in the afternoon and looked back at him Surprised and worried.

I've never felt so helpless.

From a young age, my life can be said to be smooth sailing, my parents are loving, I have never blushed, and I have never tried to interfere too much in the lives of my brothers.

The eldest brother Yan An has been a top student since he was a child, and started his own company after graduating from university.

And although I have such an excellent elder brother, I have been very cheerful since I was a child, and I have no special requirements for anything, so I have many friends. It can be said that I have been a man of influence in school since I was a child.And my dream has always been to be a freelance photographer, which has been realized after graduation.

It can be said that my life is considered perfect, but somewhere, somewhere I don't know, there is still someone who can't realize his dream!Even if he just wants to live a good life...

I raised my hand to wipe away the tears, but found that the night sky outside the window was quite dark.Suddenly, I remembered a passage I read in a novel before: it was so suffocating, there was no moonlight or starlight, like some kind of despair, it multiplied endlessly, and finally darkness enveloped everything...

I didn't go to Zhanning again, for several days and weeks.I locked myself at home, didn't go out, didn't speak, just lay down like this.I turned up the stereo very loudly, and rock music like an earthquake filled my house. In this sound, I can't seem to recall Zhanning's clear voice anymore.

Yan An was approached by the property management staff of the apartment, because there were too many people who were too noisy by my music, so the property management staff directly called the owner of this house, that is, my elder brother Tong Yan'an, and asked He came over to deal with it.

Yan An didn't say anything when he came over, he just turned off the music first, then took out a bottle of wine, and said, "Words and deeds, come, come and have a drink with brother like a man!"

I sat up in bed and took the glass of wine he handed me, which was a glass of whiskey.Yan An will always let me try things I haven't tried, such as this wine.

I didn't drink it right away, just stared at the cup in a daze.Yan An added ice cubes inside, and even in such a cold season, it was melting, accelerating the melting.

"If you have something on your mind, just say it, and keep it in your heart. Who is it good for? How about you? I don't care. You have to know the importance of this matter. Okay?" Yan An always speaks like this, neither cold nor not Hot, always give people a feeling of indifference.

After a long silence, I said: "Then what if I say that I like a boy?"

This time it was his turn to be silent. After finishing the wine, he said coldly: "If you like it, go after it. You are such a big man, do you want me to teach you skills?"

"You don't object?"

"You don't like it if I object to it?" Yan An gave me another cold look, and said, "Anyway, find a time, bring him back and let me have a look first, I'll find a way with my parents."

bring back?How can I bring him back?Now I don't even have the courage to face him...

I poured all the wine in the glass into my mouth, feeling unsatisfied, so I picked up the bottle and drank it whole.

Yan An hurriedly snatched it down and scolded angrily: "What's wrong with you, I asked you to drink with me, but I didn't ask you to drink all of it!"

With a sneer, my tears started to fall, Yan An froze, and slowly let go of his hand.I didn't continue to drink, letting the tears continue to flow on my face.

"Brother, he... suffers from blood cancer, and he doesn't have many days left..."

I can't speak anymore, my voice doesn't seem to be my own, the alcohol concentration is too high, and I'm in a daze.

At this time, I heard Yan An say: "Is it because of this that you are troubled? You haven't thought about it. It's because his days are numbered. Don't you want to cherish the days he has left?"

Cherish his remaining days...

That was my last thought after passing out.

Waking up after a hangover, it was raining heavily outside, Yan An probably left long ago, standing in front of the French window watching the torrential rain outside, suddenly wanted to see Zhanning.

I immediately put on my coat, picked up my umbrella and ran out.

This time, I want to let Zhanning know my heart!

Zhanning, wait for me!

The author has something to say: Tong Yanxing's words, "There is no moonlight, no starlight... In the end, darkness covers everything." I saw the words in a novel before, and now I think I can use them here Go, this paragraph is not original, because I forgot the general content of that article, I remember sporadic, and I don’t know who the author is, so I will note it here.If there is any infringement, I will delete it, sorry.