my ten boyfriends

Chapter 08

My sixth boyfriend is called Jealousy.

A long time ago, probably when I was still in junior high school, there was a chicken soup choice like this: would you rather find someone who loves you, or someone you love?Of course, there is an upgraded version of this chicken soup choice, that is, you would like to live with the person you love but don't love you, or live with the person who loves you but you don't love.What a mouthful.

The reason I bring this up is because I've been being courted lately.This is really rare, after all, it may represent a passionate love.So I faced this problem.I don't like him more than love, but I like his character very much, especially the way he pursues me.Yes, I have to admit, it’s been a long time since I’ve had a good relationship and enjoyed the sweet excitement that love should have.

Men probably have this kind of enjoyment instinct by nature.He looked at me so eagerly, begged me, said he liked me, loved me, and asked if I could be with him.Do I want to be with him?

I am 27 years old this year, I should still be young, but not so young anymore.I'm like a weird uncle who tempted a child shamelessly, but the age difference of five years isn't that big, right?He is still attractive to me.I said yes to him.

His name is Sensitive.He is still in college, he studied oil painting, and his speech and behavior can be seen clearly. He is a natural student of art. I saw his paintings. He can always paint the deepest places, the shadows in the bustling crowd, and the withering in the blooming fields. The leaves, the dancing dancers, seem to fall at any time.Is it always like this for those who study art, like to dig out the darkness in the light, and look at everything with suspicion?But he was so bold, he ignored those young girls and boys, and chose me, an old fritter—does he believe in love?

With him, I felt a long-lost passion.He is still so young, in his early twenties, enthusiastic and fearless, and believes that young people can do everything.He looks good and has a beautiful figure, which even makes me feel guilty,

I'm already an old fritters, a veteran.I haven't experienced all those things in love, but I can already see clearly.I am also very clear about a man's body and my own body. I know where to excite me, and where to defeat others.

Sensitive is a cute and very sexy young man with such delicate skin and such tough and powerful body.When we first got together, I was full of a sense of exploration and curiosity about him. I was curious about every part of his body, from the inside to the outside, and I was willing to take him to experience the joy of growing up.He has no shame and is willing to let go of himself and be at my mercy.And I got an interesting "toy", which can dress him up and put him in a pose that is easy to watch, and he is willing to cooperate. After every time we hang out, he will hold his paintbrush and drawing board, motionless and focused It takes a long time to draw.

He is a student, but the school is not strictly guarded, so it is easy for him to slip out and stay overnight with me.I bought a lot of painting materials for him and set aside a room for him to use as a studio.He said he likes my place, because there are often multiple people sharing the studio at school, but no one will disturb me here.He painted a lot, and the content of the paintings was different from when I first met him. They were too enthusiastic, full of eye-catching bright colors, and the saturation was too high, the kind that would be uncomfortable to look at closely.

He painted landscapes, he painted buildings, and he painted us.Drawing us hanging out in various places, the taste of lust|sensuality is too strong, even I will be embarrassed to read it.We also tried it in the studio, and he looked at his paintings, accepted my impact, and could even paint in such a posture.Even if the lines are messy, the colors are not well blended, and there are liquids that should not be mixed in, it is still a very beautiful painting.I couldn't see what he was painting, but he was very satisfied and said it was a good painting.He took it to participate in the art exhibition organized by the school, and got the highest price for the exhibit.I really don't understand art.

I got carried away with him and naturally it affected my work.When I recovered from my shock, I realized that something was wrong. The performance of this quarter actually dropped by [-]%, my full attendance was not maintained, and the company's leadership also criticized me.I immediately tightened my mind and threw myself back into work. When I was sensitive and called me at work, I had no choice but to refuse.I resumed the habit of working overtime, doing inspections, and going on business trips. I was afraid that he would be disappointed, so I explained to him that it was all for our future.

I didn't lie to him, if possible, I would like to have a future with him.But at first he said he understood me and would support me, but gradually he became suspicious and asked me if there was someone else he liked.But how could he think so?I feel that I am not trusted.

I explained to him that I wouldn't do anything like that, never did.But he promised on the surface that he would not be suspicious of me like that again, but he continued to doubt me in private.He checked my mobile phone, sniffed my clothes, put clothes in my passenger seat to occupy a seat, and wished to send WeChat to check the post all the time.

He pressed me about how my ex was and why they broke up, and asked me to share those details.I couldn't tell, so he bit my shoulder and asked me if I still loved them.

He's young, thinks too much, and can't stand being left out, I understand that.He is also a student of painting, slender, suspicious, and I want to try my best to be considerate of him.But I really don't have much energy to be considerate and coax him.I have to improve my performance to regain the trust of the company's leadership.I love this job and cannot be dismissed.

To reassure Sensitive, I took him to see my mother.This was the first time I brought someone to see my mother, and my mother received him very thoughtfully, but he was still depressed when he came back.I asked him, and he murmured:

"What to do, your mother doesn't like me."

"How can he be nice to you?"

He didn't give any further explanations, and insisted that my mother didn't like him.I was puzzled, went out and called my mother, and tentatively asked what my mother thought about sensitivity.My mom said, "I don't think he's right for you."

"Why? Is he fine?"

"I only see you because he's more tired."

I was lost in thought, not knowing what to say.I don't want to talk about sensitive mistakes, he is too young, I think I can forgive him everything.Besides, I was also wrong.But in private, I couldn't help but compare him to my ex-boyfriend's waywardness.Are they the same, are they different?i love them all

I avoided him a little bit and couldn't figure out my thoughts.No no, I don't want to break up.I'm not mature enough to think about breaking up just because of a disagreement.Between Sensitive and I, we either had to run in, or one of the two parties had to make a compromise.

I have to talk to him, for our future.But at that time, the company was working on a big project, and the time was very tight. Everyone in the company was working overtime. As a product manager, I had to follow up.I was so busy that I sometimes had to stay overnight at the company.The time between me and Sensitive is staggered. He has to go to class during the day, and he can't come to me all the time, so we haven't seen each other for a while.I also forgot when he didn't text me again.

I'm too busy to take care of myself.In the bathroom of the company, I lowered my head to wash my face with the water from the tap, and the water was splashing. I suddenly took out my mobile phone and looked at the record of the last conversation between me and him, which was a week ago.I panicked, took a leave and hurried back to my residence.

His stuff was still there, thank goodness, and I was so relieved that I hurriedly called him to say I missed him.

He seemed to be in class, lowered his voice and asked me what's the matter.I said he missed him, and he said he was in class, and I would talk about it later, so he hung up.

I feel lost.His tone seemed to be nothing, but I didn't want to rush back to the company.I went to see his studio, but was stunned.I haven't been in his studio for a while, and I haven't seen his paintings. I didn't expect him to change another style.Those paintings turned into cold tones, lost their previous delicacy and enthusiasm, and were foggy, depressing and... I don't know if I should say that word.

—I saw despair.

I pushed a few calls asking me to go back to the company and told Sensitive that I would wait for him at home.In the evening, he came as scheduled, but he said to me so seriously, let's break up.

He said that he didn't like his unreasonable troubles either, but he couldn't control himself, which caused both me and him trouble.

He said that I have greatly influenced his paintings.He doesn't want his paintings to be mixed with too many personal emotions. He wants to hold the pen well, instead of looking at the phone all day, thinking about me, what I am doing, who I am with, and then he has nothing to do all day long. don't draw.

He said he would never fall in love again.Love is fatal to art, and a momentary inspiration will bring fatal blow and destruction.He was terribly afraid of not being able to paint and not wanting to paint.

He said, sorry.

I sat blankly, watching him pack up his simple things and take them away.He didn't take away the things in the studio, and said to leave it to me, saying that I was the only person he loved, and I should leave him as a souvenir—he said, he didn't want me to forget him.

He left and went back.I didn't get up to see him off after all.

I put myself into the busy work.This is the cure.The extremely sad emotions that I couldn't express and were washed away quickly faded, entered the water, and dissolved.

I locked the studio, and nothing in it was moved.His paintings of various periods are placed inside.I'm not going to go in and look again.

And I won't listen to his last words.I will forget him.

The author has something to say: Sorry for the late update.

Is the main character a bit scumbag?I feel that the taste of writing has changed ('_')