love too early

Chapter 97

It was a rare sunny day after many days of continuous snow.

Regarding Fu Zhiheng and I's decision to live abroad, both parents have no objection. I don't know how Fu Zhiheng persuaded my uncle and aunt to not have a wedding. I thought that at least I would be questioned by the elders, but in fact, The two of us left so lightly.

After more than ten hours of long-distance flight, Fu Zhiheng and I landed in Zurich.With no skyscrapers or clogged streets, this ancient and wealthy European city is, in every sense, the perfect place to recuperate.

Fu Zhiheng bought a house with a private manor from a friend, and arranged everything properly.He probably never expected me to take care of him, even if I accompany him out to recuperate, he always takes care of me.

It was snowing lightly on the way back, I didn't sleep on the plane, I felt drowsy unknowingly, leaning on Fu Zhiheng's shoulder to close my eyes.

The street outside was very quiet, the car windows blocked almost all the sound, only the foggy and warm light of the street lamps shone on my eyelids through the thin snow.I seem to be hallucinating, thinking of a distant and gentle snow.

Fu Zhiheng stroked my hair and said softly, "I'm almost home, go back to sleep."

"Hmm..." I unconsciously leaned into his arms and said in a daze, "I know."

--almost home.

The home of me and Fu Zhiheng.

Three months later, I received a letter from the other side of the world.

In this era, few people use such an ancient communication method, so when Fu Zhiheng came back with an envelope and said that someone had sent me a letter, I first thought of Shen Nanyu.

He applied for deferred graduation and went to a small mountain village to teach.

"Forgive me for contacting you in such a roundabout way, I'm afraid that if I use a mobile phone or the Internet, I won't be able to help bothering you every day.

Making this decision was easier than I thought, and you're right, I need some time alone to figure out what I really want. "

Shen Nanyu's handwriting is still beautiful and delicate, and every stroke is written seriously.

I was sitting on a swing in the yard, and a large group of white clouds drifted past above my head, casting flickering shadows.

The wind in April is still a bit cool, Fu Zhiheng took a blanket from home and quietly put it on for me.

At the end of winter, Fu Zhiheng spent more than a month repairing the yard, planting my favorite flowers and installing swings.

Now he has a lot of time to do these nosy things, pick up his old job by the way, and sit on the balcony to draw pictures every day.

When he was a teenager, Fu Zhiheng liked to paint flames in the dark and rushing rivers, but now he paints roses in the yard, thin snow on the roof, and me.

His hand was on my shoulder, and I looked up at him for a tender kiss.

"Going to the supermarket this afternoon?" he asked.

"Yeah." I smiled at him, "OK."

The letter in my hand was very long, I looked away and imagined Shen Nanyu sitting at the table, writing carefully stroke by stroke.

"After you left, I asked myself every day, do possessiveness and obsession really count as love?

I haven't thought of the answer so far, because I still can't think rationally, as long as I think of your name, my heart beats faster as if I met for the first time, and my brain goes blank.

Sometimes I feel like I'm sick. "

……

"Are you happy with your life now?

I haven't been that far, and I don't know how good the outside world really is.No matter what, if Fu Zhiheng is by your side, at least he will take good care of you and not let you be wronged, right? "

"I found that I was more jealous of him than hating him. Jealous of him being by your side since childhood, participating in your entire life, and now being able to have a marriage with you...

Sorry, I seem to be digressing again. "

……

"Brother...will you still allow me to call you that?"

"After writing so much, I just want to tell you that I don't regret chasing you for so many years, let alone loving you. The only thing I regret is that I hurt you because of my paranoia and childishness.

I will learn to be a mature, calm, and rational adult, and will not let my feelings hurt or trouble you.But that doesn't mean I think there's nothing wrong with giving your all to love someone and wanting to have him and be with him forever. "

"Now I'm in a place where I'm needed more, doing things that other people see as meaningful, and life seems to be becoming more fulfilling. Only I know that a part of me has disappeared forever with you leaving.

No one stipulates that love cannot be placed first in life, and no one stipulates that a person cannot give up himself to love another person, at least now I still think so. "

……

"I'm not sure if you can receive this letter. It doesn't matter if you don't. It's nothing more than another ten years, 20 years, or a lifetime. When you forget me, I will still say, I love you forever."

The signing date on the letter was a month ago. It took 37 days for these thin sheets of paper to walk out of the mountains and then across the sea to the distant European continent.

I can't describe how I feel right now.

I don't know if Shen Nanyu made such a choice, which implies self-exile and punishment.

I folded the letter and put it back in the envelope, suddenly feeling empty inside.In the past three months, I seldom thought of him, so little that I thought I would gradually forget it like this. It was not until today that all the memories suddenly rushed towards me like a draft wind, and I realized that I hadn’t forgotten him at all.

I looked down at my fingertips and smiled unconsciously.

——How could I forget it... It was a little rabbit I picked up by myself.

Fu Zhiheng went in at some point and left the yard to me alone.I sat quietly until the sun set, watching the setting sun sink into the horizon little by little, spreading a gorgeous orange red on the horizon.

"Baby." Fu Zhiheng came out after changing his clothes, and helped me get the coat by the way.

I turned around and saw him standing behind me, pretending to be relaxed and raised the corners of his mouth and said, "The supermarket is about to close."

I know him so well that I can easily capture the subtle disappointment on his face. I stood up and took the coat, hugged his waist proactively, leaned on his chest and said, "Zhi Heng."

Fu Zhiheng froze for a moment, slowly raised his hand to stroke my hair, and asked softly: "What's wrong?"

I closed my eyes and shook my head, "...nothing."

He smiled softly and said, "Let's go."

"Ah."

During this period of time, Fu Zhiheng and I learned a little simple German. When we arrived at the supermarket, he was like a parent teaching children how to read, holding my hand and leading me to recognize some German words on the packaging.

I also cooperate very much, I say what he says, sometimes I learn wrong, he will pinch my face, laugh and call me stupid.

After walking slowly for a long time, the disappointment on Fu Zhiheng's face gradually disappeared, and he returned to his usual appearance.He took a box of chocolates, pointed to the lettering and said, "Ichliebedich."

I repeat earnestly: "yishilibidishi"

"Stupid," Fu Zhiheng pinched my nose and said slowly, "Ich--liebe--dich."

I watched his lips carefully, imitated his pronunciation and said again: "Ich, liebe, dich."

"It's right this time." Fu Zhiheng put the chocolates into the shopping cart, lowered his head and kissed my lips rewardingly, and said, "Baby is awesome."

I remembered something slowly and asked, "What does this mean?"

Fu Zhiheng blinked, approached my ear, and said word by word: "I, love, you."