After the rebirth, the white moonlight of the actor turned black

Chapter 153 Please, Hold Me

The little man in the courtyard seemed to be encouraged and sang loudly.

He heard footsteps, and when he turned his head again, Brother Xiao Ting was standing beside him. He bent down, gave him a gentle smile, stroked his hair and said, "Singing is so beautiful, are you What little angel came down to earth?"

He smiled shyly when he was touched, and lowered his head slightly: "Really? Will you come to see me when I sing from now on?"

"Yes, I will come over when I hear you sing in the future. I like to hear you sing very much."

Under the sun, that warm smiling face warmed his heart.

One big and one small, one tall and one short, he bent down and lowered his head, he stood up straight and raised his head.

The sun was gradually covered by dark clouds, and when the sun faded, his smile suddenly froze.

Brother Xiao Ting in front of him was still smiling, but without his sunny face, that smile made people feel more and more cold.

The smiling face gradually distorted in his eyes, the hand that was touching his head slowly slid down and grabbed his face, the voice that sounded nice also seemed to be covered with a sense of mechanical stiffness.

Brother Xiao Ting held him with both hands, and smiled hoarsely: "Gu Huayan, do you think I will like you? I hate you to death, don't you know that you are a disgusting person? You actually like boys, my God Now, how can there be someone like you?"

"No..." He wanted to back away, but the hand held him tightly, "Brother Xiao Ting, don't do this, let me go, and your words are not disgusting..."

"I heard you like me?" Brother Xiao Ting in front of him giggled, his face twisted terribly, "Don't like me, I hate bad kids. You killed your father, your mother doesn't want you anymore, you Still like boys, your best friends dislike you, why are you still alive? No one likes you in this world, people like you should die."

"I don't want..." he cried, "I don't want to die..."

"Go to hell, go to hell—"

"Should I die? I killed my father? Did my mother leave because she didn't like me? Does this world not want me?"

"Yes, this world doesn't want you anymore, you are going to die!"

"I don't want it, let me go—you are so scary!"

He pushed him away, got up staggeringly, and ran with his ears covered in the violent storm.

Fall down, get up, fall down, get up again.

Behind him, there are countless people chasing him.

"Yanyan, Dad loves you so much, why did you kill Dad? You come to accompany Dad."

"You're not my son, you're a little monster! You're a devil! I don't have a son like you! Go to hell!"

"Nonsense, you actually like boys? It's disgusting. My mother told me not to let me play with you. People like you shouldn't live in this world."

"Gu Yaoyan, you are disgusting! How unlucky is it for me to be liked by you? Go to hell quickly, you have no right to live!"

Countless hands stretched out towards him like thousands of vines. They grabbed his feet, grabbed his hands, and bound his body, as if trying to devour him.

Huh, no, why should he die.

He didn't want to die, the end of death was terrible.

Suddenly, a light illuminated this dark and terrifying world, and a warm and sunny smiling face appeared in front of his eyes, holding his hand: "I like you, come and see this world with me."

The vines that looked like ghosts and ghosts were all scattered, and he grabbed that hand and ran towards the sun, a little confused.

"Everyone hates me, but you like me?"

"It doesn't matter if you are not good, it doesn't matter if you are not perfect. Come on, come to my world, even if people in the whole world don't like you, I will still like you."

Time flashed before his eyes like a revolving lantern, and he didn't know when he became an adult.

He began to realize that he was not ten-year-old Xiao Yanyan, but 26-year-old Gu Huayan.

Time has left scars and cracks on his body one after another, his skin is torn and his flesh is bloody.

What he went to was not sunshine, but another cruel abyss.

His life is scattered in mid-air like a film reel.

He watched how the stupid self was enjoying the pleasure under Lu Fang's hands. Those expressions, those limbs, were like a sharp knife, cutting off his flesh and blood from his body.

He knelt on the ground with his hands on the cross, as if he was accepting a bloody trial.

what--

He cried and growled, those were not him!not him!

He is not so mean!He is not like that!

That stupid and dirty Gu Yanyan doesn't deserve to live in this world!

He's going to kill him!

kill him!

After the storm, there was nothing left.

His fragmented body was drawn together again by a force, and he lay dying on the ground.

Someone came with heavy steps.

He opened his eyes tiredly, raised his hand towards him, and shouted in a hoarse voice, "Brother Ting..."

Shen Xiangting came from the ruins, stood in the blood beside him, looked down at him arrogantly like a god, and gave two "tsk"s full of disdain.

His hands were covered with blood and stains, and he wanted to touch his god but dared not.

"Brother Ting, are you here to laugh at me? I made a wrong choice, right? Even if I return to this world, I'm not qualified to live anymore, am I?"

"Stupid," Shen Xiangting stepped on his chest, "dirty and disgusting."

"I know," he coughed and whimpered, "I don't deserve it."

"Since you have chosen him, you will be responsible for life or death, so what right do you have to come back to me?"

"it is good……"

"A person like you deserves to be played to death by Lu Fang. Where has he touched you? Where else is clean on your body?"

The corners of his eyes were filled with tears, and he stared at him, "But I want to live...Brother Ting...help me..."

"Tsk," Shen Xiangting kicked him away with a sneer on the corner of his mouth, "Save you? Are you worthy? Why can't I see that you like me? If you like me, you still throw yourself into someone else's arms and go to bed with someone else? Are you here?" We have been together for eight years, you are already unclean, right? Why should I charge for a broken shoe?"

He staggered up, stumbled towards his god, and knelt down in front of him: "I know I'm not worthy, please...please..."

That foot stepped him into the bloody water, mocking coldly and without emotion: "You. No. Deserve."

There was only bloody smell left on the tip of his nose, and the light of God was so dazzling that he couldn't open his eyes.

His breathing was short, and his ears were full of curses, but he still...

Want to catch that light.

Brother Ting, even if I don't have the qualifications and you despise and spurn me, I still want to try to love again.

Tears fell from the corners of his eyes, mixing with the blood in the mud.

Please, hold me back.

·

Chacha's words: This chapter is really a bit of a knife, it can be regarded as analyzing Yanyan's inner world.As a reminder, those words were fantasized by the dark side. In the eyes of a patient with severe depression like him, a glance from others may turn into a sharp sword and pierce his heart.

That's why when he was a child, he always felt that Tinghua hated him very much. He made up all the bad things in his own head. He was too fragile and sensitive.