After the rebirth, the white moonlight of the actor turned black

Chapter 155 He wants to be better than anyone else

After hearing Gu Huayan's words, Rong Huan was stunned for a moment.

He could feel Gu Huayan's entanglement with Shen Xiangting that he wanted to love but couldn't but desperately wanted to love.

He didn't know what was driving him to do it.

Through the hypnotherapy just now, he heard some fragments in his babbling piecemeal, pieced them together, and came to the conclusion that he liked Shen Xiangting very much since he was a child.

But because of his wrong perception of himself, he always falls into negative emotions and criticizes himself.

But these, it seems, are not enough to support his argument.

Rong Huan felt that Gu Huayan was like a mystery, there seemed to be many inconceivable things about him, and to solve them, he needed a special key.

He has seen so many patients of all kinds. Some patients just don't like to speak, and it is difficult to speak. Although it will be painful to speak out, there is no one like him who is too painful to get out of the illusion.

"Doctor Rong," Gu Huayan said, "I'm really sorry, I made it difficult for you."

"How could it be?" Rong Huan smiled softly, and at a glance, he was a doctor who made patients feel at ease, "I am a doctor, and treating patients is my bounden duty. I am very interested in your illness, but you It seems to have its own fortress, and it will not open the door to me easily."

"I want to be cured."

He really wanted to get rid of the dark side of himself.

He also didn't like this self-pitying self very much. When he ran out, his dominant emotions couldn't be suppressed at all.

Who would like a person full of negative energy?Anyone who sees too many of them will get bored.

Even in the eyes of many people, his emotions are called hypocrisy, moaning without illness.

Isn't it super easy to live, just breathe, why is it so difficult for you to live?

Yes, he didn't know why it was so difficult to live.

He thought that everything would be better when he was reborn, but some wounds took root in his flesh and blood, and if he wanted to uproot him, he would have to gouge out the flesh and bones.

He once vowed to live on and be worthy of everyone who treats him well in this life, but in the end, every time he gets sick, it doesn't even work to move Brother Ting out, and he still wants to fall into the abyss alone, unable to sleep forever .

Does he not want to be okay?

He wants to be better than anyone.

"Doctor Rong, can you save me?" Gu Huayan raised his head, with determination in his eyes, "I want to become a normal person."

"You are normal, you are no different from ordinary people, you are just sick."

Rong Huan has seen too many patients, and there are very few people like him who would directly seek help from him.

Even if they still had the slightest desire to live in their hearts, they would only say one thing in front of him: Doctor, don't save me, I don't want to live anymore, I want to die.

"But," Rong Huan looked at him and said, "What if the situation like today happens again? Do you want to continue the hypnotherapy?"

"Can't Brother Ting pull me back?" Gu Wuyan said, "Go on, if I get trapped again, let Brother Ting use the same method to pull me back."

Rong Huan was a little worried: "What if...you can't pull it back?"

"I'll be back," Gu Huayan's eyes were extremely determined, it was the eyes that Rong Huan rarely saw with depression patients, "definitely."

Rong Huan asked: "Then can you tell me now, why do you think you are not qualified to like Xiang Ting? If you find it difficult to answer, let's take our time and tell me when you are ready."

Gu Huayan tightly grabbed the hand that was on the table.

Rong Huan took a stress ball, opened his palm, and put it in his palm: "Relax."

"I liked him since I was a child. Maybe it was because of my big brother or something else. I don't know, but gradually, I couldn't take my eyes off him."

"En," Rong Huan said like a qualified listener, "It's great, keep talking."

"But I'm afraid."

"You have a good friend, right?" Rong Huan gathered the information he had just received, "After he knew your sexual orientation, he said some bad things to you, and finally stayed away from you."

Gu Huayan smiled wryly: "He was the first person to know my secret, he was very surprised. Later...he moved."

"That classmate informed the parents, and his parents spread the story among the parent group, and even jointly asked you to drop out of school. The school was under pressure to talk to Gu's family—" Rong Huan combined what he knew and made a guess.

"My aunt asked me, I was afraid, and said no. But my aunt helped me transfer schools."

"Then you think it's wrong to like the same sex, and you start to feel self-loathing."

The stress ball twitched in the palm of his hand.

"Well, I knew it wasn't a mistake when I was awake, but this concept has been deeply ingrained in my heart, and when I get sick, it will overwhelm me and get me into a dead end."

"It's very strange," Rong Huan leaned back and smiled, "This is the first time I feel that you don't really need me as a psychiatrist. I thought your cognition was distorted, but look, you I actually knew it was wrong.”

Gu Yanyan smiled: "When I was young, that concept still suppressed me for many years. So much so that I thought that when Brother Ting looked at me, he hated me and despised me. After sexual orientation, stay away from me. So I dare not approach him."

Well, this is too self-centered, too focused on what people around you think of me, and overextended, resulting in bad thoughts.

Rong Huan gave a "tsk" in his heart, what a crime.

One did not dare, and neither did the other.

As long as one of these two takes the first step, their love can be broken by their parents.

"Xiao Yanyan, you're really weird." Rong Huan looked at him and shook his head, laughing, "You know everything. If you say that, it means that you now know that he didn't hate you or despise you at that time. It stands to reason Say, you should have figured it out, why are you still struggling?"

Gu Huayan couldn't tell him that, he only realized it after he died once.