like electricity

Chapter 54

After Jiang Mou washed up, she happened to run into Jiang Suqing who was back from grocery shopping.

"You want to go out?" She put down the big and small bags in her hand, and moved her sore arms by the way, "Are you coming back for dinner tonight?"

"do not know."

"I don't know? Forget it, I'll cook two more dishes at noon and seal them in plastic wrap. If you want to eat at night, heat them yourself."

He used to help her separate the vegetables from the meat, put those that should be in the refrigerator in the refrigerator, and send the ones that should not be in the refrigerator to the kitchen.

When he came out of the kitchen, Jiang Suqing handed him a bag of steamed buns, "Take it and eat on the road, I can handle the rest by myself."

After the two talked that night, she intentionally or unintentionally increased the time she spent with him.The more she got along with her, the more she realized that she didn't know this child very well, "What do you usually do when you go to his house?... Wear those black pairs, and I will wash the white ones for you later."

Jiang Mou took out another pair of black sneakers from the shoe cabinet, "...let's do homework and study."

Jiang Suqing didn't see the extremely unnatural expression on his face, "After all, the house is too small." Thinking of the narrow bedroom and the temporary folding table, she looked a little sad, "Wait until the new house is installed. Build a better study room. No matter how good the grades are, other people’s children at least have a place to study, and you can’t be worse than them.”

After changing the shoes, Jiang Shou stood up, patted the folds on the clothes, "Mom, I'm leaving."

He said he was going to leave, but the door opened and there was no movement.Jiang Suqing was very strange, "Why don't you leave? Zhuo... Isn't that friend of yours waiting for you downstairs? Come down quickly, don't let others wait for you."

Facing the corridor in a daze, he turned around as if waking up from a dream, "I'm leaving now."

·

Under the shade of the swaying trees in front of the south gate of the complex, Zhuo Shuang in white T-blue jeans put one hand in his pocket, as if he was quietly letting go.

The breeze was blowing his soft hair, and the bright sunlight could barely rub against his handsome fair side face, giving it a clear watercolor texture.

Seeing this picture, Jiang Shou in the distance couldn't help but slow down.

He moved slowly here, while Zhuo Shuang, who spotted his figure over there, was much more straightforward, striding towards him, "You are late."

Zhuo Shuang emphasized again, "I'm 3 minutes late."

He bowed his head in shame, "I'm sorry."

3 minutes is not half an hour, since he apologized to Zhuo Shuang, he stopped pestering her and went to hold his hand as usual.

The moment his fingertips touched, Jiang Shou shrank back like an electric shock.

"What's the matter?" Zhuo Shuang gave him a strange look, "No one else is watching, even if there is..." The smile on his face gradually faded.Even if there is, he doesn't care.

This time Jiang Shou didn't dodge again.Zhuo Shuang's slender fingers inserted between his fingers involuntarily, and the buckles were tightly tightened one by one, preventing him from escaping at all.

On a whim, Zhuo Shuang once compared their hands, and finally concluded that their fingers were about the same length, and Zhuo Shuang's palm was a circle larger than his, just enough to completely envelop him, as it is now.

"Actually, I'm not very worried about being released. If you don't show up, I will wait here. Unless you don't plan to go to school tomorrow, you can always wait."

Zhuo Shuang's expression was meaningless when he said this, but only he himself knew how serious he was.

Jiangchou's heart skipped a beat, trying to defend herself, "You have come downstairs to my house, how could I not come... Forget it."

By the end of the explanation, he was also a little tired.Deliberately concealing, not answering the phone, and even telling lies. As a person with many criminal records, even he is unwilling to believe himself. It is not without reason that Zhuo Shuang doubts him.

Zhuo Shuang laughed, this smile dispelled a little bit of coldness, and turned him back to the person Jiang Shou was familiar with, "I'm sorry, you just think I'm overreacting."

The location of Zhuyuan Community is not very good, taxis don't like to come in, the car called by Zhuo Shuang is parked outside, they have to walk

walk over.The weather forecast said that there would be showers today. Before leaving, Jiangchou specially brought an umbrella, but in fact the sky was cloudless, and the big sun was hanging above his head. He was so cold that he started sweating within a few steps.

"Are you very hot?" Zhuo Shuang asked abruptly, before Jiang Shou could answer, he said, "The palms are all sweaty and wet, you can't even catch them."

Jiang Shou wanted to pull her hand back when she heard that, but Zhuo Shuang grabbed him hard and refused to let him succeed.

"I don't despise you." Zhuo Shuang's expression was a little more teasing, "It's not the first time you dirty my hands, what are you afraid of?"

At first, Jiang Shou didn't realize what he was referring to, but the moment he did, his face was so red that even his ears were hot.

"Can you stop in public..." He looked around and found that no one was looking at them at all, and he was completely scaring himself.

"What do you mean not to be in public?" Zhuo Shuang liked to tease him at such a time, "Did I say anything?"

"You said..." He was thin-skinned, couldn't explain clearly and couldn't copy the original words, and finally had to say vaguely, "I know what you said... What are you doing?"

Taking advantage of him not paying attention, Zhuo Shuang approached him, and raised the corner of his mouth, "It's finally a smile. Am I that unhappy?"

"I..." He wanted to say that's not the case, how could I be unhappy to meet you?His words came to his lips, but he couldn't say anything.

Zhuo Shuang's words caused a ray of long-lost sunshine to shine into his dusty heart, and soon it was covered by deeper and darker clouds, leaving nothing.

——He doesn't know anything, that's why he can say such a thing, as for me, am I going to get carried away too?

Today is the day they agreed to fulfill their past promises, and it may also be the day their relationship ends.

He was always looking forward and backward in this matter, unable to make up his mind completely, so he made more and more mistakes, more and more outrageous.But everything ended today, what Zhuo Shuang said that night gave him the courage to confess, and he was ready, no matter whether Zhuo Shuang would forgive him or not in the end, he would tell everything.He obviously thought so, why did he waver again?

I've always been happy, so happy that I don't deserve someone as good as you... He slowly exhaled the sour and hot stale air in his lungs, "I'm happy."

Zhuo Shuang didn't notice that he was in a bad mood, so he let go of his ravaged and reddened mouth for the time being, "Go to my house first, we still have a whole day. Don't be so nervous, I won't eat you? By the way, you like ..." He stopped abruptly, showing his first sincere smile today, "Forget it, let's treat it as a little surprise before my birthday."

·

Half an hour later, Jiang Shou was sitting on the sofa in the living room, her eyes unconsciously followed Zhuo Shuang's back in the kitchen.

"Because I don't live here often and I always eat takeaway, I still only have mineral water with ice." Zhuo Shuang came back with two cups, which landed on the coffee table, and the crisp sound made him tremble slightly.

Seeing that he didn't go to get it, Zhuo Shuang thought that he didn't like to drink plain water twice a day, "What do you like to drink, I'll go downstairs to buy it now."

To be honest, he himself felt that it was too perfunctory and outrageous to bring his boyfriend home and invite him to drink plain water with ice.

"Milk tea? Juice? Wine... It's not bad, but I can only drink one or two sips, and we have to go out in the afternoon."

He went to get the key that he threw on the sofa when he entered the door. Before his fingers touched the small metal ring, someone grabbed his sleeve.

"No need." Jiangchou didn't dare to look him in the eyes, and said before him, "...the person who beat me that day was my stepfather. I usually call him Uncle Xie."

Just being alone with Zhuo Shuang for a few minutes, the countless psychological constructions he had given himself began to fail one after another, and he was afraid that if he didn't speak at this time, he would never be able to speak again.

Because it is this person, he is too easy to indulge.

"Xie Yaoyao's

dad? " Zhuo Shuang stopped distracting other insignificant things and sat down next to him.

Zhuo Shuang's body was very warm, so warm that he was distracted several times.He didn't dare to look at Zhuo Shuang's face, his fingers tightened nervously, and his nails were slightly sunken into his flesh, "Well, he and my mother have been married for almost four years, and I moved here half a year ago, and we lived in peace last semester... ...that's always been the case."

"What are you nervous about?"

Zhuo Shuang caressed his cheek, his eyes widened in surprise, but his body remained stiff and motionless.

"Let me ask you, what are you nervous about?"

The shocking palm prints had long since disappeared, but there were no traces in their hearts.What happened that morning stuck in their hearts like a thorn, and now they have to pull the thorn out and let the wound heal.

"I don't know." He murmured, half-closed his eyes, and succumbed to the warmth of the palm, "I don't know."

Zhuo Shuang was silent for a while, "That's not the first time he hit you, is it?"

"..."

He hesitated whether to answer this question or not—in fact, his first reaction was to deny it. Fortunately, he remembered that he had promised Zhuo Shuang that he would not lie to him again.He told too many lies, and countless lies piled up to form a precarious castle in the air, and below him was a bottomless abyss, every step he took felt like he was about to fall.

"……Correct."

Zhuo Shuang's strength increased, "When was the first time?"

He said a date, a date he thought he had forgotten, accompanied by the dull pain of hard fists falling on his body, the man's heavy breathing, and the vague hatred lingering in his heart meaning.

"It happened after I sent you back that day, right? He beat you, that's why you feel so uncomfortable. "

It is not an interrogative sentence but an affirmative sentence.After hanging up the phone, Zhuo Shuang thought about many possibilities, such as failing the exam, or simply being unhappy.He didn't expect the final truth to be like this.

"Yeah." Jiang Shou was not surprised that he still remembered what happened that day.

"So did I do that? Did I make you forget about those things? Did I make you feel a little bit better?"

Jiang Shou could no longer hide her astonishment.He thought Zhuo Shuang would ask Xie Shun why he hit him, and whether there was a second or third time, but he didn't expect Zhuo Shuang to ask this.

Zhuo Shuang's tone was very gentle, so gentle that his eye sockets began to sore.

"Well, you did it." He stared blankly at Zhuo Shuang, "Without you... I might not be able to survive anymore."

After speaking, even he was startled, he actually expressed his true inner thoughts so easily.

Zhuo Shuang stared straight at him, making him want to avoid subconsciously.

"Say a little more, I want to hear. You never say you like me, I want to hear."

The sticky atmosphere spread the moment Zhuo Shuang approached, he was like a prey fixed in a spider's web, unable to muster the slightest strength to struggle and resist.

Zhuo Shuang's reaction was more intense than Jiang Shou thought.He leaned against his forehead, held his cheeks and pulled him closer to himself, "Can you tell me a little more? Say you like me, say you need me..."

To be honest, he doesn't think it's a big secret that Jiang Shou is hiding from him. After all, they are just ordinary students. They haven't known each other for more than half a year. They have an unhappy family. The only connection and connection is that they like each other.His eagerness to know the truth is only partly due to his anger and unwillingness to be deceived, and the rest is due to his secret desire for monopoly and anxiety about the unknown future.

Since he likes me so much and relies on me so much, he shouldn't abandon me, right?With such satisfied and distorted thoughts, Zhuo Shuang leaned over, pressed him on the sofa and kissed him.

"Say you like me." The kiss was intermittent, and he whispered softly against Jiang Shou's lips, "Say it, hurry up."

"I... like you." Under his constant urging, Jiang Shou dodged his eyes, and said in a volume that only they could hear.

The kiss made his cheeks flush, and his eyes were covered with a layer of water vapor.Zhuo Shuang's heart overflowed with warm and heavy feelings, "I like you too."

·

This kiss lasted for a long time, so long that when none of them noticed, the sky outside the French windows was no longer as clear as before.

Gray clouds poured out from all directions and piled up directly over the city, blocking the midday sun, like a harbinger of some kind of uneasiness.

In just ten minutes, the outer wall of the cup was covered with a thin layer of water droplets. Zhuo Shuang stood up and drank the ice water in one gulp before barely suppressing the thirst in his throat, "Why is he Want to hit you?" Apart from some untimely reactions, his voice was completely hoarse.

Jiang Shou was also not much better.He quietly changed to a less uncomfortable sitting position, cleaned up his excess emotions and continued to talk about what he had just said, "Because he doesn't like me, and during that time he may... be in a bad mood."

Ever since he moved in to live with them, Jiang Suqing has been urging him to build a good relationship with Xie Shun.Call people every day, don't cause trouble for the other party... He obeyed every word Jiang Suqing said, but Xie Shun just didn't buy it, and didn't even bother to give him a smiley face. Apart from hating him from the bottom of his heart, he was a fool. Can't think of a second explanation.

"Can you hit someone if you don't like it?" Zhuo Shuang raised one eyelid and looked at him.

The color of his eyeballs was much darker than before, when he looked at people without emotion, they were like two pieces of clear glass, cold and frightening.

Jiang Shou deliberately avoided his sight, "The house in Zhuyuan Community belongs to him, and he treats my mother well, how about me..."

"Actually what?"

Seeing Zhuo Shuang's expression, he refused to continue, "It's nothing."

Being dependent on others, he is very aware of his situation.The old house left by grandparents was also demolished. If Xie Shun drives them away, even if they don't live on the streets, their life will only be harder than it is now.

"Does your mother know he hit you?"

"do not know."

Zhuo Shuang frowned even tighter, "Why didn't you tell her?"

Jiang worry is puzzled.Didn't he already tell him the reason?

"He was good to her...and there won't be a next time."

As long as Xie Shun was at home, he would put the electric baton where he could get it, so Zhuo Shuang still didn't buy it, "I don't believe it."

Jiang Shou's voice slowly decreased, "What don't you believe..."

"I don't believe what you said." Zhuo Shuang leaned forward, forcing him to look directly into his eyes, "I don't know where you developed this idea, anyway, I don't believe that a man who does such a thing can treat your mother How nice."

"It's different," he argued. He had seen the bracelets and rings that Xie Shun bought for her, and the photos they took during their travels. "He treated her really well..."

Seeing that Zhuo Shuang still looked suspicious, he couldn't continue.He didn't want to discuss it with him anymore, neither of them could convince the other anyway, and he had said all he had to say.

He looked away, "Forget it, stop here? He won't hit me again, I can guarantee this."

There was only so much courage and determination in him, and he didn't want to waste them on something like this.

"Brother Zhuo, can I ask you something?"

Zhuo Shuang glanced at him, and hummed vaguely in her throat.

He lowered his head and asked in a low voice, "One time you said that you envied me and Xie Yaoyao, and how about yourself, do you...do you have any brothers or sisters?"

He thought that the worst result would be that Zhuo Shuang didn't remember this incident, but Zhuo Shuang admitted it very readily, "Yes, you actually remember."

Sure enough, he really knew of my existence.Jiang Mou, whose conjecture was confirmed, lowered his head and tried hard to control his breathing until he could speak normally, "You, what is your opinion on this matter...?"

He knows that stereotypes are a very shameless act, but

He wanted to know Zhuo Shuang's truest thoughts on this matter.

The smile on Zhuo Shuang's face faded, she lowered her head, her bangs covered one eye, and her tone was too cold, "There is nothing to say, I don't even know if he is dead or alive."

It was getting darker and darker, Zhuo Shuang put down the cup in his hand, walked over and turned on the light.Unexpectedly, before his hand touched the switch, the first bolt of lightning struck down.The huge living room was brightly illuminated by the cold lightning, and the last trace of charm in the house was indifferent.

"If I have to say it, I hope he won't be born, or he can die..."

·

Zhuo Shuang touched the switch and flicked it, the soft light dilutes the darkness in the room.

Familiar gloom enveloped his brows and eyes, he paused, and continued to finish his sentence, "...Don't appear in front of me anyway."

At this moment, Jiangchou suspected that her heartbeat and breathing stopped together.

He didn't dare to recall what Zhuo Shuang said just now, but those words kept echoing in his ears.

"...Why?" His voice sounded calm at first glance, but if you listen carefully, you can definitely hear the trembling hidden underneath, "Why?"

Zhuo Shuang stood still, "Like I told you, my mother wasn't this crazy before, she was completely crazy because of Zhuo Zhenning and that woman."

Perhaps as a reward before, Zhuo Shuang once again told him about herself.

He knew that Zhuo Shuang and himself were born fourteen months apart, but it was the first time he knew what happened during these fourteen months so clearly.

Tang Lin's postpartum depression did not become so bad all at once.Zhuo Zhenning was honest for a long time after she gave birth to the child.During this period of time, he greeted Tang Lin every day at home, even if the sick Tang Lin gave him a cold face and shut him out to see him, he had no complaints or regrets.People's hearts are fleshy, not to mention that Tang Lin's heart disease is rooted in him, so after a long time, her attitude has gradually softened, and she no longer continues to dwell on the mistakes he made in the past.

Just as Tang Lin's condition gradually improved and she slowly began to accept the child she gave birth to, she accidentally discovered that Zhuo Zhenning hadn't broken off the outside relationship, and that woman seemed to be pregnant.

Zhuo Zhenning's message to that woman repeatedly mentioned "born", "I want" and "we will get married when you are born". How is it possible not to go crazy?

"When my mother entered the delivery room, grandpa and grandma searched for him all night..." Zhuo Shuang buried her face in her palms, her voice was intermittent, hoarse and choked, "That night, the doctor just The notice of her critical illness has been issued three times. I have been struggling with her for so long, and he is having a good time with that woman, do you think it is fair?"

Jiang Shou lowered her head and pressed her palm vigorously, only to find that not only his hand, but his whole body was trembling.

Compared with the torment at this moment, everything before is like a child's play.He never knew that he could have such a moment when he was on the verge of collapse and so calm. His mind was blank, but his expression was extremely calm. Only his bitten lips leaked a trace of his true thoughts.

From childhood to adulthood, all he heard was that Jiang Suqing didn't know that the man already had a wife.Fake household registration book, fake ID card, everything about that man was fake, she was kept in the dark with a low level of education, until she was finally approached by her original partner, and it was like a bolt from the blue that she knew that the other party was a married man... ...He didn't think Jiang Suqing would lie to herself, but in the same way, is it necessary for Zhuo Shuang to lie about this kind of thing?

"Maybe that woman didn't know he was married..." He tried to defend himself and Jiang Suqing with pale words.

However, Zhuo Shuang directly interrupted him, "They haven't been together for a day or two, they have already started talking about marriage, and even have children, how could she not know?"

Zhuo Zhenning is shameless, that woman and her child are not innocent either.He hated them, just like he hated Zhuo Zhenning.

"I was almost killed by her because of that man's blood on my body." Zhuo Shuang said sarcastically, "Then I thought about it countless times, why was it me and not him who encountered such a thing?"

Jiangchou closed her eyes.The hatred accumulated in Zhuo Shuang's body over the years was like a slap in the face, slapping him completely, who was still immersed in unrealistic dreams.

"I'm sorry." Besides that, he couldn't think of anything else they could say, "I'm sorry."

Zhuo Shuang still didn't know why she said that, "What does it have to do with you, what do you say you're sorry for?"

Regarding these dirty and discordant past events, his emotions came and went quickly, "Do you still have something to say to me?"

He still remembered the photo, "Actually, the photo wasn't destroyed at all, right?"

Jiang Shou opened his mouth, and his mouth was full of the smell of blood, "Yeah."

It was supposed to be like this.He didn't sleep much all night, just to prepare himself for confessing everything.He even brought that photo with him, he will not tell a single lie, he will tell everything, including his life experience and experience, and then wait for Zhuo Shuang's trial, just to bet on a slim possible.

But all these are unnecessary now, because he already knows Zhuo Shuang's answer.

—I hope he is not born, or dies.

With this sentence as a premise, everything he did became a joke.

As long as that man's blood is still flowing on his body, his birth means sin, and means that he will be responsible for the suffering Zhuo Shuang suffered when he was a child.

He would have extravagantly hoped that Zhuo Shuang would forgive himself, and would have thought that there was still a chance of reconciliation between them.

"Zhuo Shuang, there is one more thing I want to tell you."

He seldom directly called Zhuo Shuang by his name like this.At the beginning of the acquaintance, he always deliberately ignored the existence of this person, because he didn't like his name, not at all.As their relationship progressed, he started calling this guy Brother Dro.He thought that he had let go of the grudges of the past and could start a new life, but the shadows of the past did not let him go one day.

"What's the matter? Call me that suddenly?" Zhuo Shuang didn't react for a while.

He couldn't scream.He's a coward, a liar, and a coward.After deceiving the other party for so long, he found that what he couldn't face was the person's naked, undisguised hatred.

Zhuo Shuang didn't notice his strangeness, and wanted to pull him to her side, "Didn't I tell you, you should look directly into the other person's eyes when you speak, otherwise who knows if you are sincere."

"Zhuo Shuang, let's break up." He took a step back, avoiding Zhuo Shuang's fingers.The touch that made him feel extremely warm in the past can only make him miserable at this moment.

——If you knew that I was that child, would you still look at me like this?Will you still let me die?

Why must it be him?He asked himself the same question many times, but never got an answer.Why was someone like him born and raised?

He is willing to give everything he has with both hands, even if he spends the rest of his life, it doesn't matter, he wants to let everything go back to the beginning, back to the dim streetlights in the back mountain - this time, he would rather be beaten to death by Zhou Zezheng , I would rather be framed and slandered until I dropped out of school than dare to have anything to do with this person again.By this person's side, he got things that he never dared to think of in the past, such as understanding, respect, and love, but if the price of all happiness and happiness is to be hated from the bottom of his heart by this person after being exposed, then he hopes I never got it myself.

In order to show that he was sincere and not joking, he looked straight into those light-colored eyes and repeated the sentence word by word, "I've thought about it for a long time, and we should break up."