mousepad-d2 Chapter 59 Recovery
Chapter 59 Recovery
Yuan Cisheng was sitting in the background monitoring room with his daughter in his arms. The light from the big screen illuminated his eyebrows and cast deep shadows on his eye sockets.
"dad."
Hearing his daughter's voice, he raised his head slowly, like a cold character in an oil painting suddenly came to life, his smile was as gentle as a swaying warm river.
"Ok?"
The little girl was a little worried, "Can Daddy get No.1?"
"Sure." Yuan Ci rubbed his daughter's little head in a voice.
The little girl was full of anticipation before going out today, staring at him to dress herself up beautifully.The hair is combed in two small braids, and it is matched with a snow-white Cossack cap. The cashmere jacket is also pure white, with bows on the neckline and long streamers, like a fluffy snow-white bunny.
The little rabbit still didn't forget to take her little rabbit with her, shaking the doll's arm and said in a childlike voice, "Liao Niya asked Liao Xia if he was happy?" She always teased him like this these days, not wanting to make him frown.Yuan Cisheng closed his eyes, the rabbit's paws brushed against his cheeks, and his heart was soft like cotton.
"When will the game end?" Gao Gao yawned a little.
The original voice asked warmly: "GaoGao can't wait to celebrate for Daddy?"
"Yeah!" GaoGao nodded vigorously, and then asked in a low voice, "What if Daddy gets No.2? Like every time I do an arithmetic problem, I can't guarantee that I will get No. [-] every time." Red flower."
Yuan Ci couldn't help laughing.
"What's so funny." Gao Gao was very angry, she was really worried, okay?
"GaoGao's daddy is a very talented and hard-working person. No one can compare to him. In Dad's heart, he will always be the only No.1." Yuan Ci said briskly with a smile, eyes But staring at the screen all the time, too dark to distinguish the color.
GaoGao couldn't see the worry in his eyes, and said with a smile: "In GaoGao's heart, Daddy is also No. 1!"
"Although Daddy is very powerful, he may be the same as Cake. He was careless when painting, or Daddy was a little tired." Yuan Ci pinched his daughter's little hands, "But no matter what, Daddy is the best in the hearts of Papa and GaoGao, right?"
GaoGao and Lionia, the two rabbits nodded together.
"I have to think about it first, what to say when I celebrate with Daddy later." The little girl shook her father's arm, "Dad, you should think about it too."
Yuan Cisheng lowered his eyes and smiled, looking at his daughter tenderly, "Okay, Dad and Gao Gao will think about it together."
Finally, the game is over.
The contestants submitted their works, and He Jingnian also submitted his design drawings with a blank expression.
He finished the painting in the last 10 minutes, looking as if he was always suffering from no inspiration, and finally bit the bullet and daubed a piece of work.
The other contestants raised their eyes to look at him, curious in their hearts, whether this high-profile designer who was ranked at the bottom of the semi-finals can perform at his due level, or just leave everyone alone.
"Thump, thud, thump."
The works of each contestant were projected and displayed on the large screen behind the judges in turn. The judges sat together and carefully reviewed each design drawing in their hands.
He Jingnian sat there without a sound or expression, as if he was frozen.On the stage, the judges were seriously exchanging opinions; off the stage, the surrounding contestants were also communicating in a low voice, and many people gave him amazement and even admiration.However, he was completely indifferent, as if he was completely out of it. Whether the result of this game was good or bad, it had nothing to do with him.
"Now, on behalf of the organizing committee of the competition, I will inform you of the results of this competition." The chief judge stood up, "I announce that after discussion by the organizing committee, it was unanimously decided that the winning work of this competition will be the winner of the competition." Rose Window Cross Pendant by Mr. Jingnian. Congratulations Mr. He Jingnian, thank you for bringing us such a great design!"
"That's great, that's great!" In front of the screen in the backstage monitoring room, Gao Gao jumped three feet high with joy, shaking her two pigtails.
"Dad, Daddy is really great, champion, No.1!" She shook Yuan Cisheng's arm excitedly, but found that her father looked unhappy at all, he lowered his head slowly, she It even felt like he was about to cry.
At the scene, a judge asked: "Mr. He Jingnian, can you share with us the creativity of your work?"
But He Jingnian remained motionless, completely out of the warm atmosphere of the scene.It wasn't until the judges asked again that they rolled their eyes and said without thinking: "Here, which side do you think is the front?"
All the judges looked at each other, and Monk Zhang Er was a little confused.Looking at the design drawing, He Jingnian's work is a cross pendant, in which gemstones of different colors are ingeniously combined and inlaid in the style of a rose window.On one side of the rose window is a cross of a crucifix, and on the other side is a hollow relief with a silhouette of a boy holding a candle.
"There is no doubt that this side of the cross is the front," replied the judge.
He Jingnian was silent for so long that everyone thought that the obvious answer was wrong.
"For me, it's the other side."
"Because this boy is my light, the color I saw for the first time is equivalent to faith itself."
Even if he never saw him again, he still stayed within the closest distance to him, just trying his best to consume everything he brought.
Now, it's finally gone.
"Dad, what's the matter with you?" Gao Gao looked at the original speech with her face on her face.Dad looked even sadder. He had never seen him so depressed.So, she tried to rub the center of his brow with Lyonia's rabbit paw again, trying to make him not frown.
Yuan Ci raised his head slowly, smiled, and said, "Daddy may have something to say to Dad later, let Uncle Jin take you to have some snacks first, okay?"
GaoGao pouted, not wanting to leave.But Yuan Cisheng still called Secretary Jin and asked him to take his daughter out, and said: "He Jingnian will definitely come to me, and then bring him directly to the backstage."
Secretary Jin was taken aback, "But according to the procedure, you will be present at the ceremony to present awards to the winners, and the media are already waiting outside."
"Do you want me to say it a second time?"
Secretary Jin sighed and took the cake out.Before leaving, the little girl happily shook her little rabbit, "Liao Niya cheers for Liao Xia."
Yuan Cisheng maintained a faint smile and waved to his daughter.Then he waited quietly, in the brightly lit room, as dark as a lonely ghost.
Let God hear the true voice, and all kinds of good things will happen.In the past, my mother always told me this before praying.On the contrary, you cannot tell a lie, because God knows everything, and lying will be punished.
Now, his punishment was finally coming. Although it was a bit late, he couldn't escape after all.
Yuan Cisheng turned around, and his face was completely exposed to the light of the incandescent lamp, which was amazingly beautiful without any shadows.
He smiled slightly: "Niannian, tell me, what should I congratulate you for first?"
He Jingnian looked at him, the roaring emotions in his heart stopped in an instant, and he couldn't find an outlet for the congestion in his chest.He thought he should have a lot to say to this person, but in the end, his eyes slowly turned red, his throat was choked up, and he could only exhale and make mouth shapes, "Why...you want to do this to me?"
"I have done too many things, I don't know what you are referring to." Yuan Ci said calmly.
"Lie to me." He Jingnian swallowed the strong smell of blood in his trachea, "You lied to me. You lied to me again. You lied to me when I was sick, and you are still lying to me now. Lie to me , and lied to yourself. Do you think that people's feelings and sincerity are the same as your business, which can be obtained by any means?"
Yuan Ci pursed her thin lips into a straight line, and said nothing.
He Jingnian took a step forward, "Speak."
The original speech was still silent, so quiet that there was no breath.
"Speak." He Jingnian's voice trembled a little, "Why don't you speak? Aren't you the best at lying and deceiving people? Why are you pretending to be dumb now!"
Yuanci remained motionless, confronting him silently.
He Jingnian slowly clenched his fists, hated him so much, wanted to hit him, kick him, bite him, take revenge on him, and make him suffer.However, he looks so fragile and pitiful now, and he is not angry at all. It seems that if you touch him a little, you don't need to use force, and he will be like a broken hollow doll, clattering into broken arms and stumps all over the ground. .
So, even though I knew it was his blindfold and clever deception, I still couldn't hit him, kick him, or bite him like in my fantasy of resolving hatred, so I could only pinch my palm fiercely, the more pain the better. , the more painful the more awake.When people are awake, they will no longer be deceived. Beauty is fake, but poison is real.
"Speak, talk...! Are you going to treat me like before again? Every day, I wait for you like a fool. Sometimes it is very late, and I still sit at the door of your study and wait for you. No matter how sleepy I am, I dare not Close your eyes. And you? Take the initiative to say a few words to me when you are in a good mood, and turn a blind eye to me when you are in a bad mood. You will only pity me a little if you force me to beg you and obey you. "
He Jingnian held back the rising fiery breath, which made his nasal cavity swell and his eyes hurt like they were about to burst.He took a deep breath, and all the bitter, salty liquid flowed back into his heart, causing his eyes to turn black after bursts of bitterness.
"Why...you can trample on other people's feelings so nonchalantly? You know, I had nothing when I married you. The only thing I treasured was the Walkman. During the time I was with you, I didn't One day is truly happy, and it is the only thing that can give me a little comfort, but you refuse to let me stay even with that little comfort."
"Don't forget, you made the agreement yourself. We are not even a fake couple. How many times have you declared to me that I should not have extra expectations, so what if there is someone I miss in my heart? I won't let anyone know, I just want to keep him as my hope, can't I? I just want to always remember him, can't I!"
Yuan Cisheng's eyelashes trembled, and the butterfly flapped its wings and sprinkled down its shiny scales.The light from the broken glass rippled through his eyes, and his eyes became strangely bright.Staring at He Jingnian, he said, "In the end, you only care about him."
"Yes, he is the most beautiful and clean person I have ever met in my life, and the most precious thing I have ever owned."
"You are also the most beautiful and clean person I have ever met in my life." The original words choked up, "You are also my treasure."
He Jingnian felt a pain in his heart, and gritted his teeth: "Don't disgust me! You tortured me, deceived me, and drove me into a lunatic. When you keep saying you love me, you won't feel even the slightest bit of guilt. Do you feel guilty? Do you have a heart?"
He closed his eyes, his chaotic thoughts were like a surging tide, deterring him and hitting him.Those memories, the days and nights of lonely suffering in Ruishan Yuting, the pain of the day of leaving, and the humiliation imposed on myself time and time again.
In that gorgeous and deep house, the man in front of him is the only ruler, a cruel king.His uncertain weather, his hard indifference, and his negligent and fleeting tenderness are all things that he must swallow.
Even if it's bloody, even if it's gnashing of teeth.
He Jingnian gasped for breath, clenched and loosened his hands, trembling violently.He looked down at his blood-stained hand, and tears fell down his palm, soaking the half-dried blood on the palm.He couldn't look up, couldn't look at the original speech.This person is bad and not good, but even though there are so many bad things, his goodness is as profound as his badness, which cannot be erased.
He Jingnian was very desperate, in pain and helpless.Simply, once the original speech is bad, it is really a one-hundredth.But he seems to know how to torture himself, devil, monster, nemesis, with his fragility, with his tenderness, with his beauty.
"The original speech."
As soon as the man heard his voice, his dying appearance immediately returned to his soul, and his dim green eyes suddenly shone again.
"I won't blame you for everything else, just treat it as...never happened."
"But, the only thing that you lied to me, I will never forgive you."
The original speech stagnated, as if hit by a stray bullet, and would fall down at any moment.He moved his pale lips and said, "Does it mean that no matter what I have done, you don't care? I am in your heart, whether good or bad, is it true that there is no shadow left?"
He Jingnian's ears were filled with the roar of heartbeats, he couldn't hear his own voice, he only knew that he was saying: "If you didn't lie to me that you were him, I wouldn't even bother to hate you. People like you, there is no It's not worth wasting an ounce of my affection."
Every time he said a word, the tip of his tongue felt like being pierced by a thousand needles, and his mouth was full of strong bloody smell. It hurt so badly that he was about to die of pain.He is in pain, so I want to make the culprit who hurt him hurt even more.Destroy him, completely destroy him, so that he can no longer torture himself.
He even imagined that he could become ugly and mediocre, the fire scorched his beautiful feathers, the flame blinded his beautiful eyes, everything he owned was burned, power and status, beauty and wealth, together with himself, became Scorched earth that collapses at the touch of a fist.
In this way, I will be able to free myself from this unsolvable fate.Both love and hate for him can also be more confident.
"Before you lied to me that you were him, I was only bored and afraid of you. The only thing that can make me less disgusted is probably your face."
He Jingnian raised his hand, stroking his face tremblingly with his fingertips with small scars, the semi-solidified blood rubbed against his ivory white skin, and the messy bloodstains also became the embellishment of flowers and brocades, it was really beautiful.
It was so beautiful that he felt more and more firmly that such a face should not exist in the world.Once bewitched, lies become truth, salt becomes honey, hate becomes love, love also hates.
Let it rot, in the mud, together with those deep-rooted feelings in my heart.
"It's human nature to love beauty, so it's only human nature that I'm attracted to you." He Jingnian paused, "Have you ever thought about why you fell in love with me? Are you Do you really love me?"
Yuanci's voice trembled as if afraid of the cold, "What do you mean?"
"Because, no one has ever loved you, and no one has treated you well. Everyone around you is afraid of you. If it is not forced, who would be willing to endure the oppressive feeling of staying by your side, that kind of breathless fear."
"As for me, I am pregnant with your child, and I am reluctant to bear the child, so I am willing to be with you, endure your temper, listen to your words, and even take the initiative to treat you well. What you like is my obedience, the kind of disobedience Feeling alone again.”
"It's such a good feeling. No matter how late you come back, there is someone waiting for you. Take care of you when you are sick, and comfort you when you are sad. No one will say 'I love you' to someone like you, only me meeting."
He Jingnian looked at Yuan Cisheng's increasingly painful expression, and his chest seemed to be pierced by thousands of pieces of broken glass.However, hurting the man in front of him, making him hurt, making him despair, making him regret, such an impulse overwhelmed everything, he gritted his teeth and squeezed out sharper words.
"You don't love me at all, you don't know how to love, let alone love."
The voice of the original speech made a faint voice on the verge of death, "No."
"You didn't lie to me because you love me. Deception is just a method you are used to. Isn't that how you are in business? As long as you can achieve your goal, you will do everything you can."
"no."
"That winter, I escaped from the hospital. It was icy and snowy outside, freezing to the bone. But do you know? I would rather freeze to death on the street than leave you." He Jingnian shrank his shoulders, as if Invaded by the blizzard of that extremely cold hell.
"You feel very happy and content with me, but I see you like a devil. Every time you touch me, I feel sick with fear. I can't stand it for a second, even if I die , I want to stay far away from you before I die!"
"Stop it!" Yuan Ci yelled, covering his head with his trembling hands, and inserted his fingers deeply into his hair, trying in vain to contain the continuous sharp pain in the depths of his brain.For the first time, the tall and straight figure who had always stood upright fell to his knees slumped and slowly like a tree split by lightning.
"Please...don't say it..." He propped his arms on the ground, his hair was disheveled, and he couldn't see his expression clearly, but he was trembling all over his body, as if he was being tortured, and he was exuding the real pain .
He Jingnian took a step back, he wanted to hide.Yuan Cisheng's pain was like a sharp needle piercing the air, and it was about to pierce him to pieces.
"Every year."
When He Jingnian heard his voice call his name, he was still so precious and hoarse, hot, and the hot water before boiling poured on his heart.Then, he heard him choked up and said, "You can hate me and get revenge on me, but please, don't say such things to me again."
"I'm really... going to die." He stretched out his arms and hugged him tightly, like a child who made a mistake and was afraid of being abandoned, hugged him tightly, lowered his head and pushed into his arms , rushing to his full of sour tears.
"You can say and do anything to me, but you can't say I don't love you."
He Jingnian's eyelashes trembled, and he lowered his eyes. Yuan Cisheng was looking at him with his face half up. His glass eyes were cloudy like never before, flashing with an extremely sad light.
He just knelt on the ground and hugged himself. For a moment, he almost let himself have an illusion that he was the one who was cruel and the one who was ruthless.Because, the original speech sounded like a pious and fanatical religious person. He painfully repented of the sins he committed for love and lust, and his god wanted to put him to death.
"I... don't know how to love you anymore. I have done everything I can think of, and I will give you everything I can. But no matter how hard I try, you don't even want to give me a chance " Yuan Ci closed his eyes bitterly, "Why... you are tolerant and considerate to everyone, but you are so cruel to me?"
He Jingnian remained motionless, as if he didn't hear anything, as if he had really turned into a pale and cold statue.
"You think I'm lying to you, I'm abandoning my dignity to love you. If there is a choice, who would willingly be treated as a substitute by the person they love!"
"You're not even a substitute!"
The original speech was startled, "What...what?"
"You are not worthy." He Jingnian stared at him, "He is the complete opposite of you, and he must be a completely different person from you now."
The original speech was completely quiet, and after a while, like a puppet whose hanging string was cut suddenly, his body collapsed, his neck drooped, and he giggled.
He lost, lost completely, lost everything.
He Jingnian didn't want everything he held out with his hands, from the cold and hard gems to the fiery and soft heart.Even if he stomped his dignity into the dust, dug out everything he had, stuffed it to him, threw it to him, even if he didn't want it, he would still give it to him, but he still dismissed it.
Not worthy.
This is the last verdict given to him by the only person he has ever loved in his life.
"Daddy, Dad, are you all right?"
The door opened, Gao Gao broke away from Secretary Jin's arm, and ran in bouncing.The little girl was full of anticipation at first, but when she saw the situation inside, she froze in place.
"Are you... quarreling again?" She asked in a low voice.
Didn't you agree to celebrate together?Isn't it great to celebrate No.1?She just wants Daddy and Daddy to be happy together, why is it so difficult?
"Cake, come here."
The original voice beckoned, hugged his daughter into his arms, and asked He Jingnian with red eyes, "Don't tell me you don't want the child and me?"
He Jingnian understood his subtext, and responded ruthlessly, just like when he handed the contract to him back then.
"In the future, if you want me to meet you, you can do it. If you don't want to, there is nothing you can do. After all, according to the contract, once it is fulfilled, I will have nothing to do with you or me any more."
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The author has something to say:
Niannian: Such a beautiful face, such a cruel heart
He Shuhuan pinches Yiping's face to belike