Please control your pheromones

Chapter 66 "It's Not Your Fault."

In Tao Yu's impression, Lin Yuchen is a person who doesn't talk much, and even has thorns all over his body, which makes people feel very difficult to get close to.

Tao Yu was actually a little surprised when he offered to talk now.

The two walked to the balcony at the end of the corridor. Lin Yuchen looked at the scene under the hospital building, immersed in the dark night, only the inpatient department on the opposite side showed faint lights.

With his hands slightly curled up on the balcony, he took the initiative to say, "I want to know about his brother."

Tao Yu didn't expect Lin Yuchen to ask this question, let alone ask it so directly, Tao Yu froze for a moment.

"I know it's a bit offensive, and I didn't intend to expose your scars, but he is also your son, and you should be able to see how much this matter has affected him." Lin Yuchen lowered his eyes, thinking of Yu Jinhuai's almost out of control just now , couldn't help but frowned, "Auntie, he's sad."

Tao Yu's heart was twisted.

Yu Jinhuai is her son. As a close relative, she should understand and understand his pain and sorrow best, but now she wants to get the answer from someone else.

There was already a lot of distance between her and Yu Jinhuai before she knew it.

This feeling could not be said to be sadness or guilt, Tao Yu felt very uncomfortable.

"I want to know what all this has to do with Yu Jinhuai?" Lin Yuchen raised his eyes to look at her, pursed his lower lip lightly, and lowered his voice, "I don't want him to be in such pain, and I know you don't either."

Tao Yu was silent for a while, she had no choice now, and finally sighed in compromise.

She walked to the guardrail and stood side by side with Lin Yuchen, looked into the distance, and slowly began to tell what happened back then.

"Jinhuai has a younger brother named Yu Zhiyang. The younger brother is very clingy to his elder brother. As long as Jinhuai is free, he will be a follower behind him."

"Jinhuai has a good temper and is very patient. He loves his younger brother very much. As long as he has time, he will take him with him wherever he goes."

At that time, Yu Jinhuai loved sports, especially swimming. He won various awards in the Nanlin Youth Group and was favored by the coaches of the sports group. He also had plans to develop his career in the future.

One weekend during the summer vacation when she was 16 years old, the gymnasium happened to be overhauled, and Yu Jinhuai took her younger brother to a private swimming pool.

Yu Zhiyang was only seven years old at the time, and usually he could only swim in the shallow water area. For some reason, he swam to the deep water area that day while Yu Jinhuai was not paying attention.

When Yu Jinhuai found out, Yu Zhiyang was struggling desperately in the water.

He almost rushed over at the fastest speed, but Yu Zhiyang was thin and weak, and soon he couldn't support his physical strength. After Yu Jinhuai dragged him ashore, he suddenly suffered a heart attack.

When Tao Yu said this, he frowned uncomfortably.

"Because of work, the child's physical examination and schooling these years have been handled by the nannies and nurses. We have not paid enough attention...Yangyang is seven years old, and we didn't even know he had a congenital heart disease."

Lin Yuchen frowned, and unconsciously clenched the hand hanging by his side.

What was Yu Jinhuai's state at that time, how desperate he was...

When the medical staff arrived, Yu Jin hugged the little boy as if she was exhausted, her eyes were loose and her face was pale.

His body seemed to be submerged in icy water, motionless, but upon careful inspection, one could find that he was shaking, shaking intermittently.

In the end, the little boy was carried away by the medical staff. Yu Jinhuai seemed to be unable to hold back anymore, and fell down clutching his knees, his fingers hanging by the pool trembling like spasms.

When Han Zhuang and several other students in the class who came to swim rushed to the swimming pool, they saw exactly this scene, including Cheng Zhe.

From that day on, the rumors that Yu Jinhuai's younger brother drowned beside him had spread like wildfire before they could discern the true from the false.

In the future, it does not matter whether it is true or not, and no one will try to understand Yu Jinhuai, or justify him, because as an older brother, it is an undeniable fact that he did not take good care of his younger brother and caused his younger brother to drown.

Lin Yuchen felt uncomfortable in his chest, and calmly adjusted his breathing several times.

He suddenly remembered the time when Yu Jinhuai looked at the struggling people in the lotus pond when he went to the Confucius Temple.

His brows were tightly wrinkled, his face was pale, and his body was shaking uncontrollably.

Later Lin Yuchen asked him, is restlessness caused by anger?

He couldn't remember exactly what Yu Jinhuai answered at that time, but he took it for granted that this was the reason.

It wasn't.

What Yu Jinhuai experienced was far more difficult than he imagined.

What did he think of at that time?It was his own brother who was struggling in the swimming pool, and the other party called him, struggling desperately, begging him to save himself...

Lin Yuchen didn't dare to think about it further.

The more he thought about it, the more blocked his heart became.

Lin Yuchen took a deep breath to make his tone sound calmer, "Have you ever thought that if you are close relatives to you, isn't it to him?"

"Auntie, what did he do wrong?"

Tao Yu froze for a moment.

"Do you think it's fair for him to be worried about this matter?" Lin Yuchen said: "He is only a human being, and he will be sad."

Tao Yu fell into silence, she felt as if her heart was being pricked by a needle.

As an adult, she used the excuse of adjusting herself back then to choose the way of escape. She thought that as long as she left this place, far away, she could not think about it, and would not recall the memories of children in the empty familiar room. Crying and laughing, she can slowly heal the wounds in the passing time, forgetting that his son died because of another son.

But when she came back this time, the moment she stepped into the house, all the construction fell short in an instant.

No heart is airtight, no matter how hard you try to forget, but even if you just look at it, just touch it a little, the pain will crazily breed again along with the memory.

Only then did she suddenly realize that she had overlooked something.

Her other son has been guarding that familiar yet unfamiliar house. Every time he raises his eyes, every time he touches him, he is surrounded by dense memories, vague or clear, like countless needles poking into his heart. There is no way to escape.

She didn't know how many times Yu Jinhuai woke up in the middle of the night, sat alone in the room, opened his eyes numbly, until the tiny light outside came in as usual.

He is punishing himself in this way.

He lived like this for two years.

Silence spread in this space, until the doctor came out of the intensive care unit, Tao Yu blinked quickly at the beginning, and straightened his cloak, "It's our lack of consideration, I..."

She didn't know what to say for a while.

Lin Yuchen pursed his lips lightly: "You go to see him first."

Tao Yu was silent for two seconds, and only said: "Thank you."

The two walked back, and Tao Yu stepped forward to talk to the doctor, "Doctor, how is Jinhuai?"

"With a strong sedative, the pheromone overflow was temporarily controlled, but the situation is not optimistic. He originally had abnormal pheromone perception physiologically, coupled with severe psychological trauma, the stress disorder is very serious."

Tao Yu paused, his expression became tense: "...very serious? What do you mean? Isn't it under control all the time?"

"Control is only a temporary solution, not the root cause." The doctor thought for a while, then smiled helplessly: "To put it bluntly, in his current situation, it would be difficult for him to change his personality without splitting his personality."

Tao Yu's eyes widened slightly for a moment. The situation seemed to be beyond her expectation. She opened and closed her thin lips several times before she finally spoke, "Then ask the doctor, is there any cure?"

The doctor sighed: "It's hard to say. It's not just a physical reason. His psychological stress and trauma are the most serious."

Lin Yuchen stood aside with his head tilted, frowning tightly.

Tao Yu's heart sank, and she felt a lot of guilt and self-blame. She was stunned for a while, and then said: "Sorry, his father and I have been abroad for the past two years, and I didn't expect it to be so serious."

"These words, I suggest you tell the patient."

"Thank you doctor."

Tao Yu swallowed the soreness, opened the door and entered Yu Jinhuai's intensive care unit.

Yu Jinhuai half leaned against the head of the bed, with a tired expression on his face. When he heard the movement, he glanced towards the door, saw the person coming, and the expression in his eyes faded again.

Tao Yu walked to the bed and called him, "Jin Huai."

She raised the hand hanging by her side, as if she wanted to touch Yu Jinhuai or something, but finally lowered it again, "How do you feel now?"

Yu Jinhuai's eyes fell on the door.

Tao Yu said slowly, "Jinhuai, it's your parents who have ignored you for the past two years, and my mother said sorry to you."

"The past, let's let it go. OK?"

Yu Jinhuai still looked at the window above the door indifferently, and he saw a familiar shadow floating outside.

Before waiting for an answer, Tao Yu followed his gaze, remained silent for two seconds, and said in a weak tone: "He has been waiting outside, you can see him later."

Have you been waiting outside...

Yu Jinhuai's throat was a little dry, "What time is it?"

"Four in the morning."

He frowned, raised his hand and pinched the center of his brow, "I want to see him, right now."

The mother and son stalemate silently for a while, Tao Yu sighed in his heart, and compromised: "I'll wait for you outside."

No matter how many times he has been reminded, Lin Yuchen still doesn't like to wear thick coats. The white sweater is covered with a thin down, which is loose and loose, and the exposed part of the neck is rosy from the cold.

He raised his eyelids to look at Lin Yuchen, and his tone was more conniving and reproachful: "Put on more clothes, how many times do I have to tell you."

Lin Yuchen closed his eyelids coldly, turning a deaf ear to his words, his brows and eyes were lowered, showing some other emotions than coldness, Yu Jinhuai could see that he was sad.

"Curly." He called him in a low voice.

Lin Yuchen turned his eyes away and ignored him.

Yu Jinhuai frowned: "What did my mother tell you?"

Lin Yuchen frowned, and after a while, he pursed his lips and then loosened them: "I said everything."

Silence spread between the two, stretching into a stiff string, and after a few seconds, their eyes met again.

One second Yu Jinhuai was still worried about what Lin Yuchen would think, the next second he seemed to lose his strength, and suddenly he didn't want to worry about it anymore.

So what if you know?

Isn't this person still standing here?

"Have you eaten yet?" Yu Jinhuai asked.

Lin Yuchen frowned and shook his head.

"Why are you so stupid, you don't know how to order takeaway?"

"forget."

Yu Jin felt sore in his heart, and asked again: "Are you sleepy?"

The corners of Lin Yuchen's mouth were tense, and his tone was cold: "What do you think?"

Yu Jin smiled vaguely, and patted the place beside the bed, "It's warm inside, do you want to come up and lie down for a while?"

"I'm sick." Lin Yuchen cursed angrily, took a glass of water from the water dispenser, and put it in front of him, "Drink it."

"I'm not thirsty."

"Don't drink if you're not thirsty?" Lin Yuchen took out his phone and showed him, "Do you know what time it is? You haven't had a drop of water for several hours, do you think your life is too long?"

He just took his hands out of his pockets. When the two hands touched, Yu Jinhuai felt the warmth, and he laughed, "Thank you Brother Chen."

Tao Yu stood outside, saw the scene inside through the monitoring video, couldn't hear what the two people inside were talking about, and only saw Yu Jinhuai smiling, without any pretense or politeness, it was the kind that came from the heart happy.

At a certain moment, a thought flashed in Tao Yu's mind, maybe she was wrong.

Are pheromones not really that important?

At this moment, it was already daylight outside, and soon in the morning, Dong Qiu discharged Yu Jinhuai from the hospital. Tao Yu offered to ask Yu Jinhuai to go back to the manor with her to recuperate, but Yu Jinhuai refused. He and Lin Yuchen went back to Yinghua Lane.

"Brother Chen, go somewhere with me."

Lin Yuchen glanced at him, and didn't ask where he was going or what he was doing, so he turned his eyes away and said "hmm".

There has been no snow in the past two days in the south, but the winter dew is heavy in the early morning, and the air-conditioning penetrates directly into the bones.

Lin Yuchen drove out of the street on his motorcycle, and Yu Jinhuai sat in the back, with his hands stuffed into the pockets of Lin Yuchen's coat with impoliteness.

According to the navigation guidance, the two rode all the way to the outskirts, and finally stopped at a cemetery.

Lin Yuchen followed behind Yu Jinhuai, stepping on the dew-wet weeds, and finally stopped in front of a tombstone.

The boy in the photo is smiling happily, with a small canine tooth on the left side of his lips, looking at the world with a smile on his eyes.

Yu Jinhuai squatted down, arranged the baby's breath in his hand, and silently looked at the person in the photo.

Lin Yuchen was standing right behind him, the surrounding air was humid and oppressive.

He didn't know what Yu Jinhuai was thinking at the moment, maybe it was guilt as always, but Lin Yuchen felt that he should let it go, because in Yu Zhiyang's eyes, he should be the elder brother who always shines brightly, the object he looks up to and chases.

He wanted to tell Yu Jinhuai these things, but he was not good at soothing people's hearts, he couldn't find the right tone and vocabulary, and he didn't know how to speak.

After a while, the man stood up and said, "Let's go."

The motorcycle drove from the suburbs to the bustling urban area.

The trees on the side of the road receded rapidly like rewinding.

"Yu Jinhuai." Lin Yuchen turned his head and called Yu Jinhuai. The cold wind mixed in his voice, making it a bit jerky.

"Ah."

The people behind hugged his waist tightly, Lin Yuchen grabbed the handle tightly, he heard his heart beating wildly, and the wind whistled past his ears.

"It's not your fault," he said.

Yu Jinhuai remained silent.

The humidity in the air has not dissipated, mixed with the wind, it is so cold that it makes people tremble.

But at that moment, he felt like his heart came alive instantly.

He once felt that his life was on the verge of collapse, and he fell into endless darkness from then on, but he would feel sorry for himself at certain moments, and wanted to give himself a hand unwillingly, but fell into deep powerlessness time and time again.

He never thought that the straw that he would desperately want to hold on to would suddenly appear in front of him one day.

Yu Jinhuai probably won't forget this morning after many years. Even though this person doesn't fully understand the whole story, he resolutely stood by his side and told him irrefutably that it wasn't your fault.