[Criminal Minds] years before love

Chapter 148

Hotch didn't come home.

He was a little panicked. So far, he has not encountered such a situation.The suspension was definitely not expected by Hotch, who showed little interest in the career development department and had no desire to leave BAU at all.

However, he now has no idea who to discuss with.

Gideon's implication was obvious, and the FBI had a history of spying on its own people, and Hotch didn't want to risk Rossi and make things worse for the two of them.

But he didn't want to go home either.

In the months since he and Rossi broke up, he's been able to make sure that work has worn him out so he won't be left alone at home.What's more, he can see Rossi every day when he is not on the field. Although he has no other actions, seeing Rossi is enough comfort for him.

After wandering aimlessly on the street for a while, Hotch made sure no one was following him, and then slowly stopped the car.

This is a club.

After that case, he had discovered it almost as a mere curiosity-driven attention.

It can be seen from the posters and decorations that this is a club that provides services for special fans. Of course, Hotch has investigated and it is completely legal and there is no violation of any regulations.

After breaking up with Rossi, occasionally, Hotch would stop at a place not too far away, hiding in the shadows to observe the men and women who came and went.Most of them are more or less guarded and vigilant when they enter, but they often appear relaxed and casual when they leave.

Hotch can also easily see that most of these people are white-collar workers, mostly securities or legal practitioners, and some of them have wedding rings on their fingers.

He can understand more or less.

Although Rossi never discussed it with him, BAU has certainly studied this form of behavior that is closely related to crime, although BAU will pay more attention to the violence and mind control involved.The threat of danger and death can increase the secretion of adrenaline. Human beings have been chasing this kind of pleasure since prehistory, and the stimulation of walking on the edge of the knife is irresistible.

Hotch can also accept that humans occasionally want to surrender their control in exchange for a sense of security and existence, or desire punishment out of self-blame in order to escape.

But Hotch never thought about it, he knew very well that he would never accept anyone other than Rossi to do this. Hotch asked himself that he was not obsessed with pain, at least he never tried to hurt himself, and he never really forgave what happened to him that year-Hotch didn't hate his father, although when he was drunk he almost Another person, those beatings and scolding don't need any reason, but that's not the real him.But it was really hard for him to let go. He did know that his mother, after those indifference, was really afraid and tried to make him disappear.

——He really longed for a real sense of security.

And he would never admit that he did have such a flash of thought that perhaps his own existence itself was a mistake.

It took him a long time to finally learn to hide himself perfectly in the crowd until he met Rossi.

Even himself, if viewed from another person's point of view, whether it's Gideon's point of view or Shearer's point of view, would not hesitate to believe that Rossi used his position and the rich experience of the elders to force or hint at him. .

Hotch couldn't explain it, and Rossi certainly couldn't refute it.

But Hotch is very clear that Rossi has never forced himself, even back then he had the right to refuse.And that's why he couldn't refuse.

Rossi gave him almost everything he wanted, even though he couldn't help but want more.

Hotch covered his face, he guessed, no matter what, Rossi would really break up with him this time - after all, no one knew better than Rossi how much he loved this job.