Chi Guang

Chapter 144 The Truth

It was evening when we left the hotel.

The setting sun fell to the sky like blood, and autumn chilled the fallen leaves. Mu Shihai stood in front of the zebra crossing with his coat in his hand. The night wind rustled, messing up the broken hair on his forehead, and the light and shadow split under the street lamp, illuminating the man's deep face.

Not long after arriving in the UK, due to some reasons, Mu Xingyong cut off his source of income, so he found a part-time job in a coffee shop, and sometimes he had to walk home when he was late without a car, walking three streets and crossing two intersections, There are many beeches planted on the road, and autumn is the season of falling leaves. When the wind blows, the whole street is full of rustling sounds. In the dead of night, he stood at the intersection, looking up at the dark night sky, and suddenly remembered that Xu Chichuan had shown him a long time ago. a sentence.

Autumn is fine, but I can't see you.

Just not to see you.

If Mu Shihai knew that it took him seven years to walk the road from London to Jiang Gong, would he work harder and save Xu Chichuan from suffering.

Under the neon lights of the night, the man's steps were heavy and desolate, and his back was no longer so straight.

When the substitute driver arrived, Mu Shihai was standing under the electric pole smoking his third cigarette. He wasn't a heavy smoker. He hadn't smoked after staying with Xu Chichuan for the past few days. He picked up the cigarette butt and got in the car. Wei's phone call.

"President Mu, it's off-duty time now."

The man went straight to the point: "Have you found the house yet?"

"I've found it," Tong Wei was a little confused, "Didn't you find it before you came back?"

"It's because you haven't had time to look."

"Go now?"

"Well, where?"

"Jiangnan District, a new real estate that has just been developed for a year, small bungalows, one floor and two households, according to your requirements, it is half an hour's drive away from his school, the community can raise dogs, and the decoration is simple and warm as you want. Check in with complete furniture and bags, and the photos have been sent to your phone, Master Mu, do you have any other instructions? If not, I'm going to apply a mask."

"Yes," Mu Shihai kowtowed, "I'll see it tomorrow."

The wind blew through the window, and all I could think about were what Lu Miaoyi said.

"I don't know what Aunt Shen did, but he hasn't been home for four years in college."

"Maybe in his heart, he no longer has a home."

The night was surging in his eyes, his hands were clenched and loosened, but he still couldn't calm down.

Before leaving, Lu Miao reported a series of numbers: "This is the number of his psychiatrist."

"My surname is Wang, and my name is Wang Xu."

The phone was connected, and a refined male voice said, "Hello, who is it?"

"Hello, Doctor Wang."

"My name is Mu Shihai."

"Xu Chichuan didn't know about this call," the man on the receiver was polite and forceful, "I know that doctors have a duty to keep patients' privacy confidential."

"So next time, I guarantee that no third person will know about it."

Wang Xu was not surprised when he explained his purpose with a few words: "Mr. Mu, hello."

"A few days before you made this call, I just spoke with Xiao Chuan."

"I don't think he should have confessed to being sick until now."

"Four years ago, when he was in his sophomore year, it was the first time I gave him psychological consultation and diagnosis."

"The result is very unsatisfactory. Moderate anxiety plus severe depression, long-term insomnia leads to neurasthenia, accompanied by other somatic symptoms, weight loss, depression, and occasional dyspnea."

"But according to him, the insomnia started in the third year of high school."

Mu Shihai clenched his hands tightly, his chest hurt like twists and turns, as if someone was holding a knife, deeply gouging out the flesh in his heart.

"At the same time, he also has a slight autistic tendency and refuses to communicate with others, especially when talking about you."

"The situation is more serious than expected. First, I can't participate in his self-constructed closed world. Apart from listening to him and prescribing medicine, I can't find other treatment options for the time being. Second, he doesn't fully cooperate with drug treatment," Wang Xu paused, "Do you know about electroshock therapy without convulsions?"

The man's voice was full of hoarseness: "I know."

A form of physical therapy that induces a seizure through electrical stimulation has been shown to be effective for symptoms of anxiety and depression.

"I mentioned it, but he refused."

"Mr. Mu, the next words are only based on my professional judgment and do not involve his consultation and treatment."

Wang Xu spoke seriously and slowly.

"I suspect that Xu Chichuan suffered an illegal, non-medical electric shock."

Mu Shihai's eyes darkened.

The next second came the driver's scream, and following the man's terrified eyes, Mu Shihai touched the corner of his mouth, his hand was warm and slippery, and the car seat was dirty with a tick of fingers, hot and bright red. , deeply hurt the eyes.

A drop of tear fell on the car mat, silently merging with blood.

The smell of rust slowly permeated the car, and the driver slammed to the side of the road: "Sir, let me take you to the hospital."

Mu Shihai shook his head, and took out his wallet with the last bit of strength: "Take the money and get out of the car."

"Can……"

"get off!"

After the person left, Mu Shihai couldn't hold on any longer, and fell heavily on his back. His body curled up and trembled, and he didn't even have the strength to breathe. The fishy sweetness spread from his throat to the tip of his tongue. His eyes were filled with a mist of shattered blood, and his tears were uncontrollable. He bit his lip, refusing to make a sound.

Wang Xu on the other end of the phone hadn't hung up yet, but he couldn't hear him anymore, tears blurred his eyes, the pain was like a erupting volcano, and every inch of it was burned to ashes after sweeping through, the mountain of blood and the sea of ​​corpses, his heart felt like a knife twisted, and he couldn't bear the pain. No words or words can describe how he feels right now.

Insomnia, depression, anxiety, weight loss, electric shock... every word is a murderous knife.

Lu Miao hit too lightly.

With a slap, Mu Shihai raised his hand heavily and slapped himself, a drop of bright red flowed from the corner of his mouth, his shoulders couldn't stop shaking violently, tears fell on his arms, leaving a circle of small water marks.

He finally understood what Lu Miaoyi said.

"If possible, I hope he never fell in love, at least the rest of his life will be happy."

My heart ached and sore, how did Xu Chichuan survive one sleepless night after another in those long days with no end in sight, hiding those unknown secrets, and then walked in front of him as if nothing had happened, Continue to love him without any grudges.

Just thinking about it is driving me crazy.

In the darkness, the man clenched his hands tightly, his brow furrowed.

Those people and things that he has to deal with, don't take it lightly.

To kill them all.

In the dormitory, Xu Chichuan didn't know that everyone knew the secret he had deliberately concealed. Mu Shihai didn't reply to the message, and panic flooded his chest. The feeling of losing contact was so deep that he couldn't forget it. I was very excited at that moment: "Where are you!"

Some fierce, some wronged.

"Go downstairs."

Xu Chichuan froze for a moment, before he even had time to change his clothes, he rushed all the way to him. The man was dressed in a black windbreaker, slender and straight, he slowly opened his hands, the familiar breath embraced him, and a muffled voice came from above his head. Come on, the man's indescribable heartache is hidden in the low hoarseness.

"sorry."

"Cubs."

"sorry."

I'm sorry for making you wait so long, I'm sorry for making you suffer so much, I'm sorry for the time that should have been but didn't exist.

The moment the words came out, Xu Chichuan understood.

Mu Shihai knew.

"you……"

He was a little panicked, trying to push the man away, but the man put in more effort: "Listen to me, listen to me, baby."

"I always knew."

Xu Chichuan's eyes widened.

Mu Shihai let go of him, grabbed the left hand that was deliberately covered, and slowly rolled up his sleeve, revealing the shocking long scar——

The pupils constricted violently, even if he was mentally prepared, it didn't affect the pain at all. There was a sour suffocation in his chest, and the surging pain almost swallowed him.

Xu Chichuan opened his mouth, and a tear fell on his arm unexpectedly, scalding him all over.

Just can't say anything.

I'm fine, it doesn't matter, it doesn't hurt anymore... Such pale words can only increase guilt, so I let go and stood quietly with the man for a long time.After a long time, the street lights were all turned off, and the door was locked by the housekeeper. The moonlight elongated his figure. Mu Shihai lowered his head slowly. The moment his lips touched the scar, both of them were trembling.

This was Xu Chichuan's seven years of loneliness and bravery.

It is also a pain that he will never forget in his life.

"I'm sorry," he said again, "I'm sorry."

Xu Chichuan shook his head, put his arms around his shoulders: "Don't say that."

"Okay," the man hugged him tightly, "I love you."

"Xu Chichuan, I love you."

"I know," Xu Chichuan smiled like ten thousand stars.

"I love you forever."

From a long time ago, to a long time later.

Mu Shihai drove him back to the office, and Xu Chichuan was startled when he saw the blood-stained shirt in the back seat: "What's going on!"

"It's okay." Fortunately, the blood on the seat cushion has been wiped off. "I had dinner with a client tonight, and the red wine spilled on my clothes."

Xu Chichuan still wanted to see it, but the man's deep kiss made him dizzy: "Hey, brother will take you to take a bath."

Lying on the bed after washing, Mu Shihai looked over the person over and over again like checking his personal belongings, and kissed every wound tirelessly. He didn't ask the origin, anyway, it was all because of him.At the end of the kiss, Xu Chichuan was annoyed: "You're never finished!"

"It's not over," the man pressed him down, biting his neck like a wolf wagging its tail, "this life is never over."

"baby."

Mu Shihai raised his head, his dark eyes were full of pleading and pity: "Let's go find Wang Xu, shall we?"

Xu Chichuan was slightly stunned, the man rubbed his face, skin to skin, dispelling the tangled anxiety: "Don't be afraid."

"This time the family will accompany you."

"Go with you."

His eyes were sore, Xu Chichuan sniffed, buried his head in his chest, and muttered, "If it can't be cured..."

"Then it can't be cured," Mu Shihai kissed his forehead, "Brother will be responsible for the rest of his life."

"Silly cub."

"not smart."

"You're not smart," Xu Chichuan glared at him, "I know, you went to see Lu Miaoyi."

Mu Shihai:? ? ?

"That's what he told you."

Mu Shihai:? ? ?

"I saw it when you were taking a shower, and the chat history and call information have not been deleted."

Mu Shihai:? ? ?

"I'll tell Ye Jing right now," he said angrily, "It's Lu Miaoyi who secretly played with his account when he lost his rank in League of Legends!"

Mu Shihai: ...

Suddenly Xu Chichuan remembered something again, and looked at him nervously: "He didn't make things difficult for you, did he?"

"No," never mentioning the beating he received, "I just ate a meal."

Xu Chichuan was dubious: "But Sanshui has threatened that he will beat you to death when you come back."

"...It sounds like you are sorry," the man pinched the back of his neck, and the heat sprayed his ear sockets, itching, "not at all

good. "

"Sleep," Mu Shihai grabbed his hand and held it tightly against his chest, "I'll go see the house tomorrow."

"What?" Xu Chichuan was stunned, "What house?"

Mu Shihai raised his eyebrows, and pressed him into his arms: "If you want to marry a wife, shouldn't you buy a house first?"