Shen Langgui

Chapter 120 Warm Wind Blows away 1 Spring Sorrow ④

Floating sky water sends endless trees, and rain clouds bury half of the mountain.Before the raindrops fell, Shen Yue hurried back to Xianmiandu.

After dismounting from his horse, Shen Yue went straight to the deep forest of Lanxiu, walked to the door, and saw two maidservants coming out with food boxes, looked around, and saw that Yin Zhang was arranging meals for Xun He.Xunhe didn't eat much, and dinner was even more simple: a bowl of clear porridge, two bad crabs, and a plate of pickles, that's all.

"Li'er!" Without waiting for Xunhe to speak, Shen Yue sat down next to him, and then ordered, "Yinzhang, I haven't eaten yet, so hurry up and prepare, I'm starving to death."

"Okay, I won't take this empty plate away, Lord Shen will eat some first." Yin Zhang finished speaking and went out.

At the first glance, Shen Yue felt that Xun He's outfit today was very familiar. When he took a closer look, he immediately burst into joy: "Li'er, why are you wearing my clothes? Wait, even the shoes?!"

Facing Shen Yue's proud appearance of picking up the treasure, Xun He looked away unnaturally: "Didn't you say that you lost this suit? I looked pretty good, so I picked it up and wore it."

The two are similar in stature, but Xun He's frame is slender, Shen Yue's clothes that fit just right fit loosely on Xun He's body.Shen Yue muttered: "Who said I'm going to throw it away, but you made me a new suit with your own hands. I like the new and dislike the old and leave the old one aside. By the way, your feet are narrow, and my shoes don't fit you well." Do you think it's big?"

Xun He sat down and took two steps: "I feel more comfortable if the shoes are looser."

"Well, I'll bring you an extra pair of shoes when I buy them in the future."

Xun He did not answer, and lowered his eyes to eat.

"Li'er, are you in a bad mood?" Having been together for many years, any slight abnormality in Xun He could not escape Shen Yue's eyes.Shen Yue put the peeled crab meat into the Xunhe bowl, and asked tentatively: "'Chaos' is here again?"

Xun He was taken aback for a moment, then returned to normal, nodded with a wry smile: "It should be."

This is a secret signal between Shen Yue and Xun He.

After returning from the Northwest Battlefield, Shen Yue devoted himself to observing, and found that Xun He was okay when he was busy, and could not care about some trivial worries.But once unemployed, Xun He will always be inexplicably lost.Shen Yue was convinced that this was not Xianchou, because at that time in the Shen Mansion in Suzhou, Xun He was not like this.

Shen Yue became even more convinced that it was a heart disease to seek gullies.

Heart disease is also a disease.

The severity of this disease is that it deprives Xun He of his ability to control his emotions.Xun He is alone, so he can only rely on his busy schedule to avoid being strangled by sorrow.

This disease was an old injury that Xun He couldn't talk about, and instead of letting other festers rot, Shen Yue chose to face it head-on.One night, Shen Yue talked with the insomniac Xun He, and the conversation went deep, Shen Yue pushed the boat along the way and asked Xun He: "Li'er, I still don't believe that in that dream, you will kill yourself before I triumph. But in fact , you once really..." After many years, the scar on Xun He's wrist was still abrupt, and Shen Yue's fingertips couldn't help but pause, "It was that strange disease that made you choose to commit suicide, right?"

Whenever this problem comes up, Xun He always avoids it.This time, Xun He still didn't answer, and even shrank his neck.

Shen Yue kissed the top of Xun He's hair lightly, and encouraged softly: "I picked it out because I am determined to face it with you. This is not a battle for you alone. Let me join in, okay?"

After thinking for a long time, Xun He replied hesitantly: "I'm not sure that the idea of ​​suicide is caused by it. But I can be sure that in many cases, death is the only relief I can think of."

"You have always been a person who meets mountains to open roads and meets water to build bridges. You have survived the most difficult days, but you can't think about it when the weather is calm. This is a mental illness. It controls your mind and makes you despair of everything in the world. And force you to a dead end. Li'er, whenever you have the thought of committing suicide in the future, you must say to yourself, 'This is a mental illness, you can't let 'it' succeed, you must survive'. Do you know?"

Xun He nodded, then hugged Shen Yue tightly, begging in his voice: "Master, don't mention my disease to others, not even doctors, they won't believe it, it's been so many years, I don't want to Then people say it is haunted by evil spirits."

Shen Yue sighed distressedly: "Okay, I understand. Then let's give him a code name, let's call it 'Chaos', so that others won't understand. We must work hard to drive away 'Chaos' completely!"

The unspeakable heart disease was pointed out by Shen Yue's name, and Xun He suddenly felt less afraid, so he agreed to Shen Yue: "Okay."

"Master, do you have something to do later? Why are you in such a hurry to eat." Shen Yue's new food was served slowly, and when the dishes were served, Xun He had already been fed by Shen Yue.

Shen Yue said vaguely, "You've spent the past two days in Xianmiandu making clothes, it's not good to be bored at home, you have to go out for a walk tonight."

"Where are you going?"

"Watching a play. I remember you mentioned "The Story of the Pipa". I heard that the adapted book will premiere at Pinhua Pavilion tonight. Let's see it soon."

Xun He turned his face away: "Didn't I tell you, what's wrong with you, why go to the theater?"

Xun He has always had a lot of resistance to watching operas, but Shen Yue can't forget that Xun He inadvertently revealed his obsession with operas, especially after losing his mind that time, Xun He sang and danced in Nanyue Pengmen.But Shen Yue also believed that Xun He's words against his will must have his own unspeakable secrets, so he didn't press the question, but took the opportunity to pull Xun He to watch the show together: "You should just accompany me."

When we went out, it rained and the sky cleared.

The reluctant Xun He was dragged to the door of Pin Hua Pavilion.But since it is the premiere and it is produced by Pinhua Pavilion, it is naturally very popular.Shen Yue didn't know the rules, and the seats were already full.Fortunately, Mr. Gui knew Xun He, and immediately clamored to arrange a "Feng Shui Throne" for Xun He and informed the boss, Sha Ou.Xun He tried to stop him again and again, but in the end Mr. Gui had no choice but to add two chairs in the corner according to Xun He's wishes.

As soon as I sat down, the actors and actresses made their debut.The plot is tightly arranged, and within half an hour it transitions to the first small climax - Cai Bojie's resignation of marriage.

When Jingjiao sang "Marriage must be in the sky, if it's not what people want, you will bury your grievances in the end", Shen Yue was about to tease Xun He that Cai Bojie wanted to refuse and welcome him, but he turned his head and saw Xun He's two dimples filled with sorrow, Shen Yue stopped joking Meaning, squeezed Xun He's wrist without any trace, and leaned closer and said: "The sad ones are still to come, it's miserable now, what will happen later?"

Xun He shook his head: "It's not because of the plot, I just think that this word is not well changed, it's obscure, and it's hard for ordinary people in the market to understand."

Shen Yue didn't think of this level at all, and couldn't help marveling at Xun He's sensitivity to libretto, so he tentatively asked: "Li'er, why don't you try to change it?"

"No, it's boring." Xun He flatly refused.

"How could it be? You used to sing so well, even if you don't make a living, it's fine as an amateur pastime..."

Xun He jumped up and stood up: "Who are you entertaining? You want to amuse me?!" The noise was so loud that many nearby spectators looked back. After Xun He bowed and apologized, he rushed out of the lobby, and Shen Yue quickly followed.

"Ah Li! Ah Li, wait a minute!" Clinker Xunhe braked unexpectedly, and Shen Yue bumped into him without warning, "Ah!"

Xun He turned around, stepped back slightly, and apologized to Shen Yue: "Master, I'm sorry, what happened just now...I..."

"I don't blame you, but you have to tell me why you were angry just now." Shen Yue took Xun He's hand, went to the nearby room of a teahouse, and asked for a pot of scented tea to send Xiao Er away. Shen Yue continued to explain: "Carp Son, I want you to explain why you are angry, so as to prevent me from offending you again without knowing it next time."

"My master's intentions, I understand. I..." Xun He hesitated to speak.

Shen Yue comforted: "Since it's hard for you to speak, otherwise, let me guess, and if you guess right, you just nod."

"En." Xun He agreed.

"Just now you had an attack, because in my words, there was a meaning of 'taking you for entertainment'?"

Xun He nodded.

Shen Yue thought for a while, then asked again: "You really hate people mentioning your past as an actor?"

Xun He nodded, then shook his head: "I can't say I hate it. I think it's more 'scared'."

Shen Yue understood.

At the beginning, I was indiscriminate in my words, and in front of Wu Jing and Wu Bi, I exposed the unbearable past of Xun He's pengmen prostitution, which caused Xun He to fall into the limelight from now on.To this day, whenever Xun He gets a little bit of his way, the rumors will always make a comeback at the right time, stepping back his raised head.

Shen Yue couldn't ask any more questions.

Xiao Er brought tea into the room, and then retreated.

"Master, in fact..." In Xun He's eyes, both shyness and determination coexist.

Seeing Xun He's hesitation, Shen Yue leaned over, hugged him onto his lap, and held Xun He's palm from behind: "Don't be afraid, I'm here."

"Well. In fact, it is undeniable that I was born with a talent for opera. I always learn the same piece of music faster than others. This is probably inherited from my father. Although the days of Pengmen teaching were poor, I really liked it. Singing opera, having fun while suffering, life is not all bitter. Until one day, it became my bargaining chip to attract prostitutes..." Having said that, Xun He took a deep breath.

Shen Yue understood.Singing music is the last favorite of the young Xun He, but in order to make a living, Xun He is forced to humiliate his cherished treasure.Putting this on Shen Yue is equivalent to asking Shen Yue to seek humiliation to survive.

That was a choice that Shen Yue would rather die than make.

In addition, Shen Yue thought that exposing Xun He's old scars in front of others was already the most unbearable injury for Xun He.Unexpectedly, in Shen Yue's eyes, this fatal blow was just the straw that broke the camel's back.More Shen Yue knew nothing about the past, seeking for survival in order to survive, and paid an unimaginable price for ordinary people.

"A Li..." Except for a futile hug, Shen Yue really couldn't find any effective words to comfort Xun He.