Offensive change: superficial love

Chapter 80

Yan Ju rummaged for a long time, and finally found the brooch from a certain drawer in the storage room.

Bo Lu didn't ask who its owner was.

But today, Yan Ji, who remembered what happened that night five years ago, finally remembered it.

I thought of the rain, the stubborn and thin figure outside the window, and the child who shared the same cake with him.

Reminds me of...why brownies are called brownies.

Yan Ju did celebrate Chu Ruxu's 14th birthday with him.

But not in an icy ballroom.

Instead, in the rain, in the wind, under the narrow eaves of the convenience store, he said "Happy Birthday" to the child he met by chance.

Yan Ju, 20 years old, patted Chu Ruxu's head on the side of the road.

And five years later, Yan Ju finally picked up the 19-year-old Chu Ruxu from the door and brought her home.

Yan Ju looked at the cracked red agate in the palm of his hand, obviously smiling at the corner of his mouth, but his nose couldn't stop being sore.

He was even inexplicably lucky.

Fortunately, he is not a person who likes to clean up clutter.

After so many years, the brooch is still lying in the beige pocket square that day, quietly following Yan Ju from the Ningda dormitory to the first apartment he and Bai Lu bought, and lived here again two years ago.

Yan Ju carefully put it into the paper bag he was carrying, opened the door and walked out.

He wanted to return this precious little thing to its original owner.

Those who lost it must be very anxious to find it now...

The refurbishment progress of the house was fairly fast. Yan Ju looked around and found that the designer seemed to have changed a lot of the original layout.

In the living room, only two sides of the three sides of the floor-to-ceiling windows are kept, and the right side is sealed, and only a small circular window is opened. The corresponding outdoor looks like a real glass greenhouse.

Yan Ju didn't want to watch it anymore, and he hoped to come with Chu Ruxu another day.

He hurried out the door, but before he touched the door handle, he was suddenly hugged tightly from behind.

"Little Ju, I..."

Bai Lu smelled strongly of alcohol, and his voice was a little muffled, apparently not particularly conscious.

He held Yan Ju very hard, but Yan Ju could feel the trembling of the other party, the trembling was subtle but obvious, unlike the normal reaction after being drunk, it seemed to be caused by large emotional fluctuations in a short period of time.

"I really like you, I just, I just don't know how to treat you, what to do to keep you..." After a long silence, Bai Lu said these words feebly, "I don't think Find another way..."

Yan Ju, who was frightened, had already calmed down at this moment, and he didn't know if it was because he had received too much information today that exceeded his tolerance threshold, so Yan Ju couldn't have any mood swings at the moment.

There is no anger, no disgust, and much less joy.

Just a touch of sadness.

"I've gone through a lot of things today, and I really don't have the energy to entangle you." Yan Ju's tone was calm, like an indifferent adult treating a crying child.

"Bai Lu." He called the other party's name, and patted the other party's arm around him, "Let me go, let's talk calmly."

"We haven't talked for a long time."

Bo Lu's movements were a little sluggish, but he was obviously not so drunk that he couldn't understand the words. He was probably affected by the stagnant emotions of Yan Ji. He paused for a while, and after a while, he really let go .

It's true that they haven't spoken properly for a long, long time.

Bo Lu still looked the same as usual, wearing a suit and leather shoes, exuding shrewdness from head to toe, as if if he was not careful, he would be counted into it.

If it weren't for his slightly crooked glasses and red ears, it wouldn't be obvious that the other party was in a bad state.

I don't need to work recently, and Yan Jue's outfits are becoming more casual. Although I went to the law firm to confirm the process in the afternoon, I was dressed in formal clothes, but I was in a hurry when I went out in the afternoon, and I didn't even remember to take my coat.

Good love may indeed nourish people, and Yan Ju looks no different from a 20-year-old student at this time.

Perhaps Bo Lu had just finished a certain business banquet, and he was a little out of control after drinking too much. Thinking that his plan had failed, and being belittled by Yan Ji, the proud self-esteem in his heart couldn't bear the pain, so he came to find him with the help of alcohol. find fault.

Perhaps it is clear that after the notarization is done tomorrow, the six-year relationship between him and Yan Yu will be completely over. In the future, he will not have any chance to meet Yan Yu except for the annual general meeting of shareholders, so in the end he wants to have a meeting with Yan Yu. Yan Ju left some traces in his heart.

No matter what it is, Yan Ji doesn't care anymore.

Even the knot in his heart that has troubled him the longest and hurts the most can be gently untied. At this moment, he suddenly felt that there was no need for him to run away from Bai Lu.

Yan Ji only wants to do what a decent adult should do——

Talk openly and honestly with the other party about the issues that have been hanging and neglected in this long-term relationship, and then completely welcome a new life.

The two of them sat side by side on the steps of the door, keeping a distance of less than fifteen centimeters between them tacitly.

That seems to imply that they can never really get close to each other's "safe distance".

Bai Lu turned his head slightly, looking at Yan Ju's indifferent side face, inexplicably in a daze.

It seems to be back to my junior year again.

Although the relationship between them is not very warm, at least Yan Ju always smiles in front of him.

He would come out a few minutes early after his self-study, bought a cup of ice cream, and waited for Yan Ji, who was packing his things, to come down from the second floor slowly.

They would sit together on the library steps, sometimes chatting casually, other times just enjoying each other's quiet company.

Bo Lu likes to see Yan Ju's unsatisfactory expression when he is trying to scrape off the last sip of cream, and also likes the feeling of falling into the eyes of the other party.

At that time, he was not afraid of Yan Ji's eyes.

It's a pity that their relationship started with calculation and deceit.

From the very beginning, Bo Luben was not qualified to get Yan Jie's love, so he naturally didn't deserve the extravagant hope of keeping him.

It was a hot summer night, Yan Ju casually tugged on his tie, and rolled up the cuffs of his shirt. He looked straight ahead, and said first: "Bai Lu, you didn't come to save me."

He said succinctly: "Chu Ruxu's little actions have made you very uncomfortable recently."

Bo Lu's rationality seems to have come back a little bit, maybe because he knew that there would be no point in doing anything, so he was just slightly startled, with a bit of self-mockery hidden in his tone: "You know him."

"No, I found out that after I went out that day, he called you again, maybe he forgot to delete the phone record." Yan Yan shrugged.

"Maybe it was not deleted on purpose," Bai Lu said.

Yan Ju bent the corners of his lips: "That's right, I recently discovered that he is actually not stupid at all."

It's been a long time since the two of them talked like friends.

Usually, it's either to act emotionally stable in front of outsiders, or to be alienated and formulaic at work.

In the two years before the breakup, they were on business trips for nearly a year and a half, and they rarely even saw each other.

I don't know if it's really that busy, or they are avoiding each other deliberately for different reasons.

"The old man was confused when he was alive. He prepared two wills. My one was notarized, but Bai Ou's was not. Normally, it wouldn't threaten me at all." Bo Lu shook his head, "Chu Ruxu doesn't know what method to use. , completes Bai Ou's program, it fits perfectly, and no loopholes can be found at all."

"He also made some small moves, causing some problems in the company's capital chain. Although it was resolved in the end, but in the last half month alone, my personal losses are conservatively estimated to be at least eight figures." Bo Lu chuckled, not as if he was complaining, but as if he was complaining to Yan Ju, the "parent", "This is our company, and you still hold shares."

"Being crazy is really enough to disown your relatives."

Yan Ju couldn't help laughing, and his tone was inexplicably surprised: "Does he still have this side?"

"Okay, it's good." Yan Ju nodded, "I won't suffer in the future."

Bai Lu snorted lightly, noncommittal.

After a moment of silence, Yan Ju asked again: "What did he threaten you with?"

Bai Lu didn't look surprised by this question: "It's very cliche."

"If you want the power of the Bai family, you still want it."

Upon receiving this answer, Yan Ju immediately smiled even more happily. He raised his brows slightly, and his tone was full of jokes: "If you want me, will he really give it to me?"

"That's what I asked too." Bai Lu looked at Yan Ju's bright eyes, and then quickly looked away, "He said, no, but it will make his contempt for me a little less."

Yan Yan glanced at Bai Lu mockingly, and applauded vainly: "Then congratulate us, I have reaped a happy love, and you finally realized your dream since childhood."

But Bai Lu fell into silence.

I don't know how long it took before he hoarse his voice and said in a suppressed tone: "No."

"You should congratulate Bai Ou."

Yan Ju was stunned for a moment, and after realizing the deep meaning of the other party, he couldn't help being a little unbelievable: "Are you crazy?"

Bai Lu raised his head, looked at Yan Ju seriously, and said clearly, "Now let me say, I really want you to stay by my side."

"Do you believe it?"

Yan Yan looked at the other person's expression, frowned, and expressed his position in a serious tone: "Bai Lu, this is your own choice, it has nothing to do with me, don't think that I will soften my heart or something because of this, I can't be kidnapped for something like this, you know."

"I know, but I just want to try to fight for it." Bo Lu shrugged, deliberately putting on a look of indifference, "And there are some things that are not interesting until you get them."

"When I was a child, my mother always told me to strive for success, to get that position, to make her and us right. I really believed in it and felt that it was the most important task in my life."

"So, I have been trying to follow the expectations of the old stuff since I was a child, and you are the only one outside my plan."

"Being irrational, I want to keep you as if I can't control it." He paused, and then continued, with a slight tremor hidden in his voice, "I can even accept the fact that you don't like me that much, as long as you It’s still mine in name, that’s enough.”

"So gradually, I gradually couldn't tell whether it was love or obsession."

In six years, this is the first time Bai Lu said the word "love" to him.

Ke Yan listened but did not feel any wavering in his heart.

He just felt that Bai Lu was very sad.

"Bai Lu, I was never yours."

"Our relationship was wrong from the beginning." Yan Yan said flatly, "It is a product of deception, concealment, and design. If there is no turning point in the theater, I might not want to develop seriously with you at all. A long-term relationship."

"But for a normal relationship, the most basic thing is to be sincere with each other."

"You lied to me first, and your uneasiness passed on to me unconsciously, so I will feel subtle, and I cannot give you sincerity."

"In the past six years, you have had countless opportunities to confess to me, and you have countless opportunities to set things right, but you are not sure." Yan Ju shook his head after speaking, and retorted to himself, "You didn't want to be sure."

"You live in your own world, you stubbornly follow your own set of rules, you treat everyone as a fool, you treat me as a fool, you are obsessed with calculations to get results, and you treat feelings as things that can be manipulated and measured You always feel that you are the illegitimate child who has a bad name and can only obtain a bright life by cheating and stealing, and you don't think you are an independent person."

"You hold on to that shaky self-esteem, conceited and inferior, sticking to the habits you pursue, and you don't dare to open your eyes to look at the world, look at me."

"You don't know how to impress people with sincerity. You have never seen it or learned it, so you can only use those methods that are not on the stage, because you don't think you can keep me on your own."

"You know very well in your heart whether it is "love" or "obsession" for me, and the reason why you dare not admit it for so many years is very simple. "

"Actually, you also understand that all my heartfelt feelings for you other than thanking you are all false illusions created by you. People like me will not only never like the most real you, but may even be too lazy to look at you." .”

"You know that you are not good enough for me, and you can't catch up with me."

"I lack everything, but I want nothing."

"You lack everything, but you want everything."

"It's normal to be attracted to me." Yan Ju squinted at him condescendingly: "You made the mistake of torturing me while you shouldn't be torturing yourself."

"I don't hate you, I just think you are pathetic."

Yan Ji's words were straightforward and cruel, but Bai Lu didn't refute a word, he just listened calmly, lowered his head slightly, his eyes were a little red.

"Bo Lu, when you don't know how to love someone, you shouldn't get the one you like. No matter how hard you try, no matter what method you use, it's all wrong." This heart-to-heart talk seemed to vent all his suppressed emotions recently, "Wrong ones will be corrected, and they will be lost. This loss is inevitable. It is not a specific person or event that caused us to separate."

"Every day for six years."

"Every act of keeping me by your side with dirty means, every day and night when I ruminate on your sense of disobedience, every moment when I feel that these loves are superficial and false."

"As a partner, you are really bad, and as a friend, you are not sincere." Yan Ju rolled his eyes, and finally softened his tone, "But you are a successful businessman, a qualified partner, and an excellent colleague."

"I can forgive you for using my past to control me, not because you did the right thing, and it's not because I'm soft-hearted, or can understand your difficulties." Yan Yan couldn't help but sneered, "On the contrary, I think you are really a You idiot, dare to use such tricks that harm others and benefit yourself."

"Do you know? As long as I am a person who can't think about it, when I find out that I have been cheated, I may go crazy and stab you to death."

"Psychopathy is hereditary." Yan Ju jokingly said "threatening".

He paused for a moment, sighed softly, and continued as if relieved: "It's just because I don't care now."

"Someone is willing to comfort me and accompany me to bid farewell to those pasts one by one."

"Those pains that you took advantage of can no longer really hurt me."

Bo Lu's head was getting lower and lower, and his neat haircut was messed up by him at some point, and it hung down from the side of his ear, blocking his expression.

Yan Ju even felt that the other party might be crying.

It's a pity that he didn't appreciate Bo Lu's embarrassment, but he didn't want to waste time here: "We were actually the same before."

"There is nothing that really belongs to me and can feel my own value. When I meet someone who is a little special, I want to lock it by my side and tie it firmly. Even if I know it's not suitable, I still don't want to let go."

"But you are much more pitiful than me."

"I met someone who is countless times special than you, unique." Yan Yan smiled and used an exaggerated tone, as if he was afraid that the other party would not be stimulated enough, like a winner, he showed off to Bai Lu, " I was just looking in the storage room and saw a lot of pictures of us in college."

"When you looked at me, you smiled sincerely, and your eyes sparkled."

"I'm sure you'll never forget me."

"Because I did too many stupid things, you were so confused that you changed your original life direction." Yan Ji mocked, "But you don't know how to treat me correctly, so you don't deserve to love me at all."

"There will be no more possibility between us."

Yan Ju picked up the paper bag in his hand, stood up, and lightly swept the dust off his trousers: "I'm not grateful for the six years we've been together."

"Thank you, you let me know what kind of love I need."

Yan Ju patted Bo Lu's shoulder twice, as if saying his final farewell: "Chu Ruxu is different from you, he, um... just looks like a reckless kid."

"Actually, he has been waiting for too long." Yan Yan seemed to remember something, his crooked eyes were filled with tender love, "See you at the notary office tomorrow, Bo Lu, I'm going home .”

"I can't make him wait any longer." Yan Ji said meaningfully.

……

When Yan Jue got home, Chu Ruxu was already lying on the bed in wrong-buttoned pajamas.

"I'm sorry baby, my phone is out of battery." Yan Ju got into bed neatly and apologized sincerely.

The two seemed to be tacit, Yan Ju didn't ask why he saw Chu Ruxu's license plate number when they left their neighborhood, and Chu Ruxu didn't ask why Yan Ju's hair smelled of alcohol.

"It's okay." Chu Ruxu sat up, squeezed the back of Yan Ju's neck and kissed him tenderly, and then took the initiative to bring the topic back to the right track, "Don't you want to ask me something?"

Yan Ju was slightly taken aback, but when he lowered his head, he found that the little boyfriend's expression was a little guilty, and he immediately understood.

Qianqian probably told him about her visit to that house.

Yan Yu smiled indifferently.

Anyway, he didn't intend to hide it.

He curled his lips, sat on the edge of the bed, and kept rummaging through the paper bag.

Just like that rainy night five years ago, when I was rummaging through the stacks for that brownie.

A few seconds later, Yan Ju put the carefully wrapped brooch into Chu Ruxu's hand, raised his eyebrows slightly, and jokingly said, "It's returned to its original owner."

With a dazed face, Chu Ruxu stared at the red agate inside suspiciously for a long time before finally realizing it, her eyes widened in disbelief, and her voice was raised several degrees: "This is what I wore that day. ! How did you pick it up!"

Seeing the other party's excitement, Yan Ju kissed the little boyfriend's forehead in satisfaction, hugged him actively, and rubbed his shoulder nostalgicly: "I not only picked it up."

"I also picked you up."

Hearing this, Chu Ruxu lost control of his emotions after being anxious all night. His hands clenched the clothes on Yan Ju's back tightly, and his voice seemed to be crying: "I thought you wouldn't want me anymore..."

Yan Ju's tears welled up in his eyes, he stroked the back of Chu Ruxu's head again and again, and choked up with a sob and laughed and cursed: "You are really an idiot."

"If you've eaten what I've fed, then it's my puppy." Yan Ju kissed the side of the other's neck affectionately, and said coaxingly, "Honey, you should have told me earlier."

Chu Ruxu's voice was very aggrieved: "Don't you really think I'm disgusting?"

"I don't think so." Yan Ju slapped him seriously, "I only feel that I owe you a lot, that I want to make up for you, and that I regret it."

"Regret why I didn't love you earlier."

Chu Ruxu seems to be happy, but after all, the secret that has been hidden for many years is known by his lover. Although he is not thin-skinned, he is somewhat embarrassed.

He buried his face in Yan Ju's shoulder, and muttered: "It's not good to be too early, I'm not yet an adult."

But Yan Ji said as if deliberately teasing: "Then I can bear with it and raise you in a proper manner..."

"Reuse."

He leaned against Chu Ruxu's ear bewitchingly, teasingly said in a hoarse and sexy voice.

Chu Ruxu's body tensed up suddenly, and her breathing became rough and out of rhythm.

The atmosphere in the house also gradually became viscous.

"Okay, I won't tease you anymore." Yan Ju smiled and pushed Chu Ruxu's shoulder, and before the other party expressed his objection, he quickly blocked the boyfriend's diary between them.

His tone was full of coaxing, and the tails of his eyes were lightly raised. Before Chu Ruxu could be dissatisfied, he directly turned the book to the last page with the handwriting on it: "Read it to me."

Yan Yu said commandingly.

Chu Ruxu's eyes were dark and her Adam's apple trembled slightly. Obviously, she was a little delirious because of being seduced by the other party.

He bowed his head impatiently, and obediently complied with all Yan Ji's demands, regardless of whether the content was reasonable or not.

"He broke up, you've waited." Chu Ruxu read hoarsely with a voice full of desire, "Be patient, don't be afraid of being rejected, you are no longer the child who could only tremble under the eaves. "

"You are what you are today because of him, so you deserve to be seen by him."

"You like him, respect him, love him."

"You want him to hold you alone in his heart."

"The willing kind."

In the next second, Yan Ju pressed his lips forcefully, and he and Chu Ruxu kissed fiercely, but the vague words in his throat seemed to be swearing solemnly: "I love you."

"Willingly."

The author says:

Come, come, come -3-