Good day and beautiful scenery

Chapter 18, fear

I didn't even think about turning on the phone when it was turned off, until I woke up the next morning with a terrible headache and wanted to call the boss to ask for leave, only to find out that the phone was off, and I received several text messages when I turned it on.

That guy Allen pretended to be kind and asked me if I was home, so I deleted it casually.Shen Yan's strange number also asked me if I was okay, and don't forget to take allergy medicine.But I really didn't eat it.

I had a headache when I came back last night, and my body temperature was quite high, so I didn't dare to take antipyretics together with anti-allergic medicine.But Shen Yan's concern is too ridiculous, we have nothing to do with each other, and he should not be concerned about me.

I got up and washed my face, and struggled to go to the company, but it seemed a little difficult. I had a headache and couldn't see clearly.

Fumbling back to bed and lying down, he sent a text message to the boss, saying that he drank too much alcohol last night, and he thought it was a good idea to approve the false approval for the sake of saving him the money for the drink.

The heat didn't subside until the next afternoon, and I felt as if I had just fought a big battle. There was no pain anywhere in my body.I was a little scared and planned to go for a full body check.

In fact, the company has this benefit, every month medical examination.Last year I caught a cold for a while and then I didn’t go there. This year, because Shen Yan happened to have a case, I went out of town. I asked for leave to play with the past for more than ten days, and I forgot about it when I came back.

When I went to the hospital, I was afraid that it would be too troublesome if there were too many people queuing up, so I decided to pay a little more for VIP. The environment is comfortable and the service is first-class, and the blood draw is gentler than other places, and the efficiency is also high. result.

At night, I turned on the electric blanket and lay on the bed, and when I remembered, I called my mother.

Speaking of which, my relationship with my family has been broken for many years.After my dad beat me out, he never talked to me again.He has a big temper and a big face. He thinks I'm a homosexual who lost him. At the beginning, he wanted to beat me to death. If it becomes like this, I'm afraid he won't recognize me again in this life.

My mother is better than my father, no, it is much better.She also hated and was angry at that time, and when my dad beat me, she cried and scolded beside me, but it was she who protected me in the end, so I escaped death.

We had almost no contact in the first few years after we came out, and it didn't get better until these two years.I haven't seen her for a while.Counting it down, it’s been almost half a year, and the last time I took advantage of the Shen Yan... Forget about that person... When I have time, I secretly went back to my hometown, hiding from my father and my mother for dinner, staying in a hotel at night, my mother Accompany me until very late and can't bear to go back.

As far as my relationship with my mother is concerned, it's actually quite strange. A long time ago, it could only be said to be good or bad, and it's far from being as close as it has been in the past two years.Although we don't see each other often, but occasionally, the feeling of being cared for is especially warm.

I know that my mother is probably old for a year, and she wants to open up about the previous things, and I myself have learned to restrain myself after all these years, so this relationship finally found a relatively harmonious balance.

The call was connected within a short while, and my mother only gave a soft feed, and I knew it was inconvenient for her. My father should be by my side, so I didn't ask her to say more.I took the initiative to report that I was doing well, and I hung up after reassuring her.

Only when I hang up do I feel desolate in my heart.

I am also old, and my mood is gradually different from before.In the past, I loved so much that I wanted to die and I thought I couldn't live without it, but I really lived day by day, year after year, and I've seen everything, so I still don't have the same stupidity as before.

It seems that even the trade-offs made in the past are going to be lost today.

After going to work, I didn't have time to get used to it, so I was dragged away by my boss for two days.I really went to the meeting, not the kind of fun under the guise. I was locked in the client's meeting room for two days, smoked a lot of second-hand smoke, and everyone came out with a disheveled face. Fortunately, the results were not bad.

The boss threw the cowhide bag to me when he got in the car, and said proudly: "What I said, Joe, young people have more opportunities, and it should be yours. You will have to get it back sooner or later. This project is not small, so you work hard! "

When I returned to the company on Friday morning, Alan was the first person I met.I have never been so serious about him, thinking that he probably won't post it again to make fun of himself, who knows that he took the initiative to say "Congratulations" to me.

I had a lot of things to do, and I closed the door and kept busy until after ten o'clock. The phone rang again and again. I didn't pay attention at first, but suddenly remembered that today is Friday, and there might be results from the hospital. I called before the phone rang again. go back.

It was really a call from the hospital. It took two transfers to switch to the nurse who just notified me. It was a girl with a nice voice. She told me that she had tried to contact me many times, and the phone was turned off for the first two days.

I recalled that an unfamiliar number did call me when I was on a business trip, but at that time I was trapped in the conference room, my mind was full of all kinds of reasonable and unreasonable details mentioned by the client, and it was impossible to separate them from the psychological ones.

I asked the nurse how the result was. She hesitated for a moment, and said very formally: "Mr. Zhou should come here in person, and our director will explain to you."

My heart suddenly sank, I reluctantly smiled and thanked.

I sat behind the desk, my hand holding the phone was already a little sweaty, I closed my eyes and leaned back in the chair, my mind was so confused that I couldn't figure out any clues.

It is impossible to say that there are no ideas.I'm afraid of death, afraid of bad results.But my self-esteem as a man made it impossible for me to act panicked, and it was even more impossible for me to cry out of fear before I got the result.

All I can do is try my best to tense up my face and nerves, pretending that my heart is also calm.

It’s what I am now. More than ten years ago, I was pointed at the nose and called cold-blooded. I was told that a beast would shed two tears when it lost a relative, but I didn’t even see a single tear.

When those people scolded me, I didn't feel pain. I just thought they didn't understand anything, and didn't know that my weakness was never the way others looked at me.

If they knew that I was just using indifference to cover up my cowardice, they would have defeated me long ago, and there would be Zhou Jingchen who is "carrying" all the time today.

Closing the door and not afraid of being seen, he took out the cigarette case tremblingly and lit a cigarette. He smoked a lot like a drug addiction, and as expected, he choked so much that he almost coughed to death.It's really self-inflicted.

I was still sitting in my chair when that boy William came knocking on my door.As soon as he opened the door, he was shocked by the smoky atmosphere in my room and backed away. He took a deep breath to stabilize his mind before re-entering, frowning and asking me: "I said you are crazy, is this smoking?" How much does it take to have this effect?"

I looked up at him through the smoke, and when I saw him frowning and staring, I thought he was cute for a moment.I can't fucking remember when I have seen such a popular and vivid face.

I puffed deeply on the cigarette and blew out a smoke ring that was not very successful. I asked him: "You are not picking on your assistant, why are you here?"

"What are you talking about? Who hired you as an assistant? I said, brother Jing, what's the matter with you? You've become a bit addicted to smoking recently. Why, could it be..."

I know that his brain circuit is different from ordinary people, so I don't care about him, just ask him what's the matter.

"Don't worry about whether it's okay or not, put out the cigarette for me, or kill you!"

When I looked at William, I was in a trance for a moment, thinking he was that bastard Shen Yan, because that man always used the same tone when he asked me to pinch a cigarette.If I don't think about it, it hurts my heart when I think of the old things, and my interest is ruined.

I put the cigarette in the ashtray, got up and opened the window behind me, and the cold wind came in, blowing like a leak in my heart.

William usually has nothing serious to do when he sees me, either talking about women or eating and drinking.Sure enough, he walked in, glanced at my table, and said, "I don't know why you are so busy with the door closed. Let's go, let's go have dinner together."

In fact, I don't have any appetite, but I suddenly feel a little afraid of being alone.William is a very nice person, and the noise is just right, so I can save myself from thinking wildly.I feel like I'm a little dependent on him.

I ran into several other colleagues in the downstairs lobby, including Alan. I regretted it again and wanted to find an excuse to escape.But William even gave me this chance, and asked me in a low voice on his own initiative: "Brother Jing, you shouldn't mind, we are all colleagues, and we don't see each other when we look up."

When he asked such a question, I couldn't say that I minded, so I had no choice but to calm down and express generously that it would be fun to eat together.I asked him what to eat.This is definitely a big problem for me, many times more difficult than drawing a picture.

Alan obviously didn't have any ideas, so he turned around and asked the others, so all kinds of proposals came.

Someone said: "Let's have hot pot, it's best to eat hot pot in such a cold day."

"Why don't you go to the Sichuan restaurant last time, there are still coupons, so it's a waste not to eat."

Allen, who hadn't spoken for a long time, retorted one by one with shame: "What kind of hot pot does it make you smell all over your body? How can you meet customers in the afternoon? Eat less Sichuan and Hunan cuisine. Waste oil has been reported for so many years. Don't you have any precautions?"

The atmosphere was frozen by such a basin of cold water like him, and no one spoke.There's no other way, except for the boss, the whole company belongs to him. Some people even say in private that he has a boss aura.

William asked dissatisfiedly: "You are not satisfied with what we say, so just tell me what you want to eat."

"Just eat something nearby, how about Xiaodangjia, there are many dishes, and the taste is decent." After Allen finished speaking, he still had an attitude that he was just saying, "Otherwise, you decide for yourself."

"Let's just be the head of the house." I said.

Xiaodangjia is Uncle Li's store. I didn't expect Alan to have such a proposal, but honestly it's just what I want.I haven't seen them for a long time, and I'm thinking about it.