Black Powder Monologue Diary

Chapter 63 Chapter 62

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It turned out that Ji Shanye was still thinking about this.I couldn't tell what I felt, but I just said, "No need, my place is quite remote, and I probably can't receive express delivery."

"Just tell me where you are." Ji Shanye seemed stubborn about this.

"Fuya Mountain." I said.

"I have a few days off next month. I have nothing to do. I will go over and send these things to you." Ji Shanye said.

I never thought that Ji Shanye would come to find me.I thought that after the breakup, he didn't want to see me again, and would never have any contact with me.After breaking up, I felt that he had to be me, begged me not to leave, and wanted to get back together with me, this kind of idiotic dream thing, I haven't been so affectionate to that point.

Ji Shanye is not that kind of person.I am clear.

"No, it's too much trouble." I said.

Ji Shanye stopped for a while and said, "You are afraid that you will meet me."

"It's not... I..." I couldn't speak, and felt guilty for no reason.

"Our place is too out of the way, the road is very tossing, you don't need to come to such a place."

Ji Shanye sneered, but he didn't speak any more.

At the end of the call, Ji Shanye didn't say whether he wanted to come or not.I thought I only said Fuyashan on the phone, even if Ji Shanye really came here, he might not necessarily find me.

13

2021. 5, 8

Today I had a few hours of video calls in front of the computer with the psychiatrist, nothing special, just chatting, and this is not the first time I have been treated.

It's just that every time I chat with a psychiatrist, after the end, I miss Ji Shanye, want to see him, and want to sleep in his arms.But unfortunately, I have lost such rights.

After shopping for daily necessities, I have a little time to rest.I had nothing to play, so I huddled alone in the hotel and played with my mobile phone.

I entered Weibo after a long time. After I left school and came to work in Fuyashan, I didn’t read Weibo very much.

It's been so long and nothing new.Unexpectedly, I came across a trending Weibo search about Ji Shanye.

%23 It has been a long time since Ji Shanye showed up at the University of B in a low-key manner, more than ten days ago.

I was a little stunned, how could he go to my school?Is it because of a job?But in the photo, he was wearing casual clothes and a peaked cap, so he didn't look much like him.

Are you looking for me in the past?As soon as this thought came to me, I immediately shook my head and denied it.Absolutely impossible.

In the evening, after I washed up, I began to pack the things I would bring to the mountain tomorrow.After tidying up, as soon as he got back to bed, Ji Shanye's call came over, this time it was a video.

I watched steadily, wondering why he called me again today.The hot search on Weibo that I had seen before flashed through my mind, and my heart started beating uncontrollably again.

Is there a possibility?Maybe he doesn't want to break up with me?

No, impossible.On the day they broke up, he didn't say anything.

The video request was still ringing, and Ji Shanye's message came again.

not there?

The mirror on the opposite side reflected my current appearance, with wet hair, loose pajamas, and faint dark circles under my eyes.Speaking of which, I haven't paid much attention to my appearance for a long time.

I don't have the courage to make a video with Ji Shanye, although I really want to see Ji Shanye.

I rejected Ji Shanye's video request, but I still connected to the audio.

"Why didn't you take the video?" Ji Shanye asked.

"I...the internet is not good here."

"It's almost summer." Ji Shanye said something that I couldn't figure out.

"Ah."

"Is there anything you want?"

For some reason, I always felt that what he said was drunk.So he asked him again tentatively: "Are you... drunk?"

Ji Shanye was silent, and I heard his shallow breathing through the phone.

"Yes, I'm drunk." Ji Shanye said softly.

"I just want to ask you, what do you want?" He said, "When I was with me, I never gave you anything."

"I don't want anything."

We were silent with each other, but neither of us hung up the phone.

"Lin Yu, you are the most cruel person I have ever met." Ji Shanye said.

My heart felt as if it had been caught, and it ached so badly.I can't argue with that because it's true.

He hung up the phone without warning, just like yesterday.I sat by the bed blankly and didn't react for a long time. After the breakup, every time I talked to Ji Shanye, I had to hold off for a long time.

At night, when I was about to fall asleep, Ji Shanye sent a message, I saw it, and then I lost sleep completely.

He said, I am indeed not a competent boyfriend.

Your decision is correct.

Ji Shanye should be ready to give up the past, why would he still think that he is going to get back with me, I think.I cried for a long time in disbelief.Although Ji Shanye and I have broken up for a long time, until I saw this news, I felt as if I was abandoned by Ji Shanye.

It seemed impossible for me to talk to him.

14

2021. 6, 1

It was very hot, as if it had really entered summer.

I have gradually adapted to life on the mountain.The days passed like running water, with no memories, every day was similar, going to the fields, walking, observing plants, doing farm work, recording data, eating, watching the stars, and sleeping.

15

2021. 7, 1

Going down the mountain, buying things, transferring data, and video chatting with the psychiatrist.Everything is the same as before.

There was no call from Ji Shanye, nor any news from him on the phone.Even with internet access.

Why do you think he will call me?

In the afternoon, the sun was fine, so I went to the street to pick up things with my seniors.When passing by the cinema, I stood for a long time looking at the posters posted outside.

Above is Ji Shanye's face.He has a new movie coming out.

"Green Love in Time and Space" is a romance film.The girl standing next to him is very beautiful.

Want to watch a movie?The students saw that I hadn't left for a long time and asked me.

I looked back at him and said nothing.

The senior said: "If you want to see it, go in and see it, I'll be with you. It's hard to go down the mountain once, and the good rest time can't be wasted."

I can't explain why, but I followed him into the cinema.There were a lot of people going to the movies, so he queued up to buy tickets, I bought water, and looked up at the movie trailer.

"Let's go." He bought the ticket and came back with popcorn in his hand.

I followed my senior into the cinema.I was a little nervous when I sat down.Because it's been a long time since I went out to watch a movie with someone like this, not even when I was dating Ji Shanye.

After all, it is impossible for the two of us to sit in a cinema and watch a movie with ordinary people.

If that's the case, the media reporters will drown us first.

I was so absorbed in watching the movie that I didn't even drink the water in my hand. I didn't even look at the popcorn that my senior put in the middle. I just focused on Ji Shanye's face on the big screen.

I haven't seen him for a long time, and we haven't seen each other since we broke up.

I miss him so much.