White Swan

Chapter 20

Shi Xubai put down the piano cover, shook his head with a smile, he knew how good he was at playing the piano, and the boy didn't cover his ears after listening, that was already the biggest compliment to him.

As compensation, he took out two bottles of orange soda from the cabinet, opened the can, and handed Qiao Fei a bottle.

He didn't pull Qiao Fei up from the floor, but sat down beside him, leaning against the sofa, feeling the coolness from the floor together with him.

Qiao Fei held the soda can with both hands, looked at the English words written on it, turned her head and asked Shi Xubai: "Do you like oranges very much?"

Shi Xubai smiled when he heard the words: "Well, when I was young, there was always orange candy given by my friends at home, and I became addicted after eating it. Now I like orange flavor in everything."

"What about you?" Shi Xubai took a sip of soda and asked Qiao Fei, "Do you like candy?"

Qiao Fei shook his head. He has been living a bitter life, and he has long since disbelieved that eating sugar can make life sweeter.

There is only one thing in this world that Qiao Fei thinks is sweet: "Ballet is my sugar."

When Shi Xubai heard it, he paused for a moment, and only when the silence in the living room became very noisy, he slowly said: "It used to be mine too."

The soda bottle in her hand suddenly felt hot, and Qiao Fei slowly put it on the coffee table.

"Anyway, I can't dance anymore. I was thinking about becoming a pianist. In this way, I can watch other people dance and accompany them." Shi Xubai suddenly smiled, "It turned out that I didn't find out how to play the piano until I started practicing the piano. It’s actually not easy, it’s quite difficult. If I were to accompany the dance troupe, all the actors would probably lie on the ground with their ears covered.”

Qiao Fei didn't know why, but suddenly wanted to cry.

Ballet leaves nothing for dancers, except for the pain and exhausted body, there is nothing else to see.It is not like other art, a painting, a song or a book, it leaves no trace, only the freedom of the heart is left in the end.

For dancers, this so-called freedom is everything they have and a ray of light in their darkness, but Shi Xubai is deprived of even this.

"Do you know that I actually envy you."

Qiao Fei tilted her head, somewhat unable to understand Shi Xubai's meaning.

Shi Xubai looked at him in disbelief, and said seriously: "Really, I really envy you. Don't think that there is anything good about being the chief. In fact, you are lucky if you have room for improvement. When you really reach the peak , a lot of people will wait for you to fall and take their place, if you stand on the mountainside or at the foot of the mountain, no one will stare at you."

Qiao Fei nodded, half understanding.

"Look at me, didn't it just fall?" Shi Xubai leaned back on the sofa behind him, his two long legs crossed, looking relaxed and comfortable, only his eyes were a little dull, looking through Qiao Fei at the person behind him. wall.

"Aren't you tired?" Qiao Fei never left Shi Xubai's eyes, he leaned towards him, and moved his fingers imperceptibly.

Shi Xubai was stunned, for a moment he thought he had heard it wrong, but when he saw Qiao Fei's serious and bright eyes, he realized that the boy cared about him.

When he was dancing in the dance troupe, people often approached him, but they either wanted to get close or asked him the secret of becoming the chief. In fact, there was no secret, so he could only struggle in the swamp and try his best to crawl out.

Qiao Fei was the first person to ask him if he was tired.

Yes, he is indeed very tired, and sometimes he is so tired that he can't breathe.He sometimes stays up all night for the next day's performance, staying in the dance room and going through the dance steps over and over again.When you can't jump physically, sit down and rest for a while, and keep counting the beats and movements in your mind.

Shi Xubai shook his head, smiled at Qiao Fei and said, "I'm not tired."

The ugly duckling seemed to be relieved, and then asked him: "Why did you choose to dance ballet?" Qiao Fei thought that Shi Xubai should be a model, because he has such a good figure and looks so good-looking.

"When I was a child, my mother insisted that I learn to dance. She wanted me to fulfill her unrealized dream, but she left after a while, and followed a man who could play the guitar."

"My mother also ran away with others." Qiao Fei paused, as if he was very happy to have found the same thing as Shi Xubai, and added, "We don't have a mother."

His eyes are extremely clear, when he slightly raised his head to look at Shi Xubai, he looked a bit like a sunflower chasing the sun.

Shi Xubai felt that this boy was the most complicated but also the simplest thing he had ever seen, as if he could see the bottom of his heart at a glance, but he couldn't figure out everything.

For a moment, Shi Xubai could understand why He Haoyun would hold on to Qiao Fei, because this ugly duckling had an irresistible attraction that made people unconsciously want to get close to him.

Such a good boy, how could he be willing.

"If your mother is gone, no one will force you to dance?"

Shi Xubai nodded and explained: "When I was young, something happened at home, so I went abroad to follow my little uncle. I didn't like ballet dancing very much at first, and I always felt that men who danced ballet were a bit feminine. But now In foreign countries, ballet has become the only thing I am familiar with, and I gradually fell in love with it."

These few light words summed up Shi Xubai's past twenty years, but they couldn't sum up how much he suffered and how difficult it was.

From when he was sent to dance by his mother when he was a child, when he was forced to stretch on the ground without knowing anything, to when he supervised himself to practice dancing day and night, only he himself knows how he got here these years.

Shi Xubai took two cushions from the sofa, handed one to Qiao Fei, turned to him and asked, "What about you? Why did you choose to dance ballet?"

Qiao Fei took the cushion, instead of putting it behind her, she held it in her arms and replied: "I didn't want to dance from the beginning. When I was very young, there was a neighbor who was bigger than me. The older boy, he started to learn ballet first, I think he dances very well, so I want to learn dance like him."

"Then should I thank him? Without his inspiration, I wouldn't be able to see your dance."

Qiao Fei blushed slightly, and continued: "Actually, that big brother has never encouraged me to dance. He told me, 'Don't dance, it hurts'."

It really hurts, Shi Xubai nodded, "But you will keep dancing, right? You dance very beautifully."

You can't tell when the sun will rise, or when the flowers will bloom, but the ugly duckling will turn into a swan one day.

"Actually, you don't have to be so nice to me." Qiao Fei shrank her legs in front of her body, buried her head in the pillow, and muttered in a voice Shi Xubai couldn't hear, "I'm not worth it."

Shi Xubai didn't hear clearly, he lowered his head and asked him, "What?"

"...Yes, I like to dance, so I will keep dancing." Qiao Fei looked up into Shi Xubai's eyes and assured him earnestly.

"Well, I believe you."

Qiao Fei doesn't know what other people need to fall in love with someone, but maybe for him, saying: "You dance really well" is enough.

The shattered dream is being pieced together piece by piece because of finding the right glue, even if it is covered with mud, it doesn't seem to be as dirty as it used to be.

Shi Xubai glanced at the wall clock above the TV, it was already eleven o'clock.

"It's getting late, take a shower and go to sleep." He stood up from the ground first, and led Qiao Fei to the guest room in the apartment.

The main color of the room is light gray, with dark green sheets and creamy white carpet. The view from the window is the landscape lake in the center of the community and the surrounding warm yellow street lamps, making the whole room look warm and comfortable.

"The sheets and quilts are all new, so don't worry about using them. There are towels and toothbrushes in the toilet. If you need anything, just call me. I'm in the bedroom in the corridor." Shi Xubai didn't enter the room, and stood sideways at the door to let Qiao Fei enter Wu, "Go to bed early, you have danced all day."

Qiao Fei nodded, and carefully put the slippers outside the door, lest she step on the spotless carpet.He stopped Shi Xubai when he turned around: "Shi Dao..."

Shi Xubai looked back at him.

"That... thank you."

"Just call me Shi Xubai from now on." Shi Xubai smiled at Qiao Fei, he would rather be called by the ugly duckling by his full name than by the honorific address given to him by strangers.

-

Qiao Fei was lying on the bed in the guest room, her eyes open in a daze.

The bed sheet under his body should be flannel, not like the silk bed sheet that He Haoyun gave him, although it was expensive, it was cold to sleep in winter.

He didn't close the curtains, but lay on his side facing the window, maybe because he was in a high-rise apartment, Qiao Fei always felt that he was closer to the moon.

There are not many people in this world who treat him well. What he remembers most is the dance teacher who opened the windows and doors for him when he wanted to learn ballet.

He is not so ignorant and naive, and he also knows that there is no kindness in the world for no reason.He didn't dare to covet any kindness, because the last person who helped him was also the one who imprisoned him in the cage.

But if Shi Xubai's unconditional love for him is a glass of wine, then he is willing to drink carefully and slowly, even if he is drunk.