I'm still doing fine

Chapter 42 - Susu Xiaozheng, the fate is different

Tang Xiaozheng rubbed his temples and sighed. When he looked up from the literature review scrolling at a constant speed on the screen of his mobile phone, the train had just turned over a mountain, leaving Yupo under the clear sky, and recklessly plunged into a long tunnel as long as the boundary of Shuo Sang inside.

There was a faint sound of wind that was not clear in the ears, like the roar of a trapped wild animal squeezed out of its suppressed throat.

He followed the sound, and saw that the clear and translucent car window glass turned into a pure mercury mirror, reflecting Chen Chen's sleepy face pressed against the car window, crushed and deformed.

Chen Chen, who has always been "allergic" to means of transportation and feels uncomfortable every time he travels, now holds his outer shirt loosely with his hands, wraps Tang Xiaozheng's backpack tightly through the light cotton material, and curls up on the seat The corner of the chair and the forehead touched the window, and the small fan-like eyelashes trembled slightly.

Looks like I didn't sleep well last night...

"What shape is this?" Tang Xiaozheng stared at him for a while, then suddenly laughed, recalling the old cartoon image, "The train man or the pinball policeman?"

He pulled the backpack out of Chen Chen's arms and put it on the luggage rack above his head. When he sat down again, he stretched out his hand and squeezed his neck to pull the person closer to him, "Come here, you'll have a stiff neck."

"Let me sleep for a while, don't move..." After being tossed like this, even a comatose person should wake up, Chen Chen glanced at him in a daze, leaned on his shoulder with all his strength, rubbed his nose and fell asleep again, He muttered like a raving, "What train marbles..."

"There's only this white dress left, and it's all rubbed with oil..." Tang Xiaozheng said with a bit of disgust, but he didn't move. When he heard the sound of Chen Chen's steady breathing next to his ear, he felt extremely disgusted. I was taken aback slowly.

He thought of the cartoon little policemen with round hands and feet jumping up and down in his mind, which was Chen Chen's favorite thing.

What train marbles... Chen Chen no longer remembers.

Chen Chen forgot, but he still remembered one more thing.

The warm breath puffed on the neck, and slipped away with a small swirl, rubbing the ends of the hair, and the aftertaste could still stir up trembling ripples.

Tang Xiaozheng slowly relaxed his stiff shoulders, carefully leaned back in the chair, and stared at the clean ceiling not far away in a daze.

As if walking into a barrier suddenly, outside the train passing through the mountain, the clear sky was replaced by heavy rain, and the dense rain curtain suddenly slapped on the car window, drawing the trajectory of the gust of wind.

It's another rainy autumn in Shuosang.

Liang Duanyuan came across the two carriages from a distance, and by the corner of the coat exposed from the gap between the seat armrests, she saw the backs of the two leaning together at a glance.

Tang Xiaozheng, who was always avoiding in the past, seemed to be enjoying the stolen peace at the moment when Chen Chen fell asleep, and there was a kind of tranquility that people would not want to disturb.

He paused, and suddenly stopped in his tracks. The shadow cast by his burly body startled the trembling little girl in the seat beside him and raised her head suddenly.

"Sorry." Liang Duanyuan twitched the corners of her mouth, put her pockets in her pockets and continued to think. After a while, she walked slowly and patted Tang Xiaozheng's shoulder, "Are you hungry?"

"Ah, a little bit." Tang Xiaozheng asked, "Are you going to the dining car?"

"En." Liang Duanyuan nodded, without asking, "Together?"

The seriousness of the matter is like an extremely obvious hint that he has something to say.

Tang Xiaozheng raised his head to meet Liang Duanyuan's gaze, and let out a laugh in his nasal cavity, "Okay, let's go together."

The two tall men stood up at the same time, instantly making the aisle appear cramped. Liang Duanyuan couldn't block it, and pointed at Chen Chen, "I'll wait for you at the car door."

The flight attendant with exquisite makeup said "excuse me" to wipe them, glanced at the raised square mark on the surface of Liang Duanyuan's trouser pocket with one hand in it, and pointed upward with a smile on her face.

The broadcast happened to be, "This train is strictly non-smoking..."

Liang Duanyuan blinked in response, "Understood", and took out her hand from her trouser pocket, grabbing a pack of Orion chocolate pies.

"Sorry, I misunderstood." The steward narrowed her eyes and apologized, then nodded and turned away.

"Almost forgot." Liang Duanyuan leaned forward and put the chocolate pie on the small table in front of Chen Chen, "Yi Chi gave Chen Chen a snack, he said that eating something sweet would make him feel better."

"Let's go, it's alright." At this moment, Tang Xiaozheng had just settled Chen Chen, found him a comfortable position, and got up to signal to Liang Duanyuan.

After the meal time, there were more staff members than passengers in the No. 5 carriage. The two found a seat in the corner and sat down, ordered food and waited.

"45 copies..." Tang Xiaozheng glanced at the receipt, took out a napkin and folded it casually, "Suddenly willing to spend money?"

Because she supports her own education and lives with her for two years, Liang Duanyuan seldom spends money on unnecessary things, and is always said to have entered retirement life early.

"Chicken fried rice is more expensive." Liang Duanyuan knew what he meant, smiled and said, "It's okay, I can accept it."

"This is even more strange. I haven't seen you say that you have to eat something..." Tang Xiaozheng sat upright, "An Yi's order?"

"En." Liang Duanyuan only responded, and looked down at the time.

"...Duanyuan." Tang Xiaozheng pinched the folded edge of the tissue, pressed it one by one, and after about half a minute, he went straight in, "You like An Yizhi."

Caught off guard and became the object of interrogation, even though she was as calm as Liang Duanyuan, she panicked for a moment.

Turning on the screen of the phone, and then turning it off, seemed to be deliberating and repeated several times. He scratched his head, as if he was not used to confessing in front of others, "...I want to take care of him."

Liang Duanyuan didn't say he liked it, he instinctively didn't believe the word, coincidentally Tang Xiaozheng did the same, "You can tell."

"Chen Chen is seldom sad." Liang Duanyuan changed the subject extremely bluntly, this is the reason why he asked Tang Xiaozheng to come here together, "You must know better than me about why you are sad and how to feel happy, etc. "

"I don't have many friends... I have to do some of what I can do." Liang Duanyuan felt that her wording ability had lost 20.00% again, and she habitually smoked and fumbled, and gave up on herself. "Why don't you? If you want, you can talk to me I'll tell you."

"Have you guessed it?" Tang Xiaozheng put a folded paper crane in front of his eyes, his eyes fixed on the soft bird, and asked himself, "I know you guessed it. "

"More or less." Liang Duanyuan knocked her fingernails on the table, making a slight noise, "Chen Chen will not lie, saying that he missed it once...Are you afraid of being seen by others?"

"No. No one would put their sexuality in their resume, I'm not afraid of that." Tang Xiaozheng smiled, and the paper crane was pushed out by the airflow.

silence.

"Duanyuan, where did you say we came from and where are we going?" Tang Xiaozheng opened his mouth when Liang Duanyuan thought that Tang Xiaozheng would probably not answer and was about to respect his opinion and not persecute him.

"...where?" Liang Duanyuan was a purebred science student who was at a loss for words after accepting a super-class test paper about philosophy.

"I don't fucking do philosophy, it's not that difficult." Tang Xiaozheng felt that the seriousness was a little funny, he cleared his mind and said, "Do you know how long I've been thinking about this question?"

Liang Duanyuan looked at him without making a sound.

"At least ten years, since the day this question popped up inexplicably, I have thought about it for at least ten years."

Tang Xiaozheng took out a short sentence, kept his hands out, took out a piece of paper, and folded it again until the same little thousand paper cranes were formed. He said,

"We all come from home. To move out of one home, no matter how hard we try, is to move into another home."

Putting the two paper cranes together, he went on to say, "Study, work, fall in love, get married...you see, are they all for this?"

"En." Liang Duanyuan nodded and continued to listen.

"I have no choice in which family I was born in. Wealthy families can be raised more modestly, and poor families can be more carefree, and they can all grow up. But where to go is a choice."

"We want the new home to be better, or if it's not better, at least, at least not worse than the original one."

"But I have no choice but to give Chen Chen a better home."

Tang Xiaozheng pressed the head of a paper crane, exerting force little by little, until the crane turned into an invisible waste paper, like a pile of wreckage,

"You have met Chen Chen's parents, and you know how good they are, but you have never met my mother, and you don't know how bad she is. No matter how much money I can earn in the future, what kind of job I can find, or what I can get promoted to position, what kind of prestige can you get...the family cannot be lost."

"Without me, Chenchen still has many people who love him. Without me, Zhang Jishu has nothing."

The remains of the paper crane were thrown into the trash can, which looked clean and abrupt against the pure black background.

Liang Duanyuan was silent for a long time, until the train conductor took three boxes of lunch to put away and walked away, blatantly visiting from afar,

"I didn't realize that you are a pessimist." Liang Duanyuan pursed her lips and took a sip of water, "And you think too much."

"If the future plan is not well done, then don't want it for now, just consider trying now. You can't stop living because you are afraid of death."

Unexpectedly, he was rarely angry, because of Tang Xiaozheng's arrogance and self-abandonment,

"Life is not a multiple-choice question. Who knows which path is absolutely right and which path is absolutely wrong? Besides, have you ever thought that Chen Chen is an adult and he has the ability to be responsible for the decisions he makes?"

"Self-impression and self-deception are of no benefit to anyone. Don't be so cowardly." Liang Duanyuan got up, picked out the lunch box she bought, hesitated before leaving, and said, "I don't believe in liking, but I believe in myself. You Well, who do you trust?"

"If you can't even trust yourself, try to trust Chen Chen a little bit. He is not a useless and weak person."

Liang Duanyuan walked far away, her footsteps became more and more blurred until she could no longer distinguish them.

Tang Xiaozheng sat for a long time, opened the lunch box, shoveled it into his mouth, vigorously wiped away the sporadic tears that the potato choked, put down the empty lunch box, and then touched his feelingless stomach, a little dazed. Eat or not.

I haven't been this embarrassed for a long time.

After half an hour.

With the red oil on the disposable chopsticks, on the clean lid of the lunch box, Tang Xiaozheng finally scratched out a few words with suspicion for the first time——

Su Su Xiao Zheng, the fate is different...?