Twenty rings

Chapter 30

Between life and death, the most important thing is him.

After no life is in danger, the most important thing is "safety".

It turned out to be an easy thing to love someone to the point of dying for someone. When you die, you die.

If there is no realistic resistance, if they live in a vacuum, what do they want?If you want to be with him, it's okay to be on and off when he is so angry.Even last winter, it was a kind of happiness to hold a washbasin tool and wait angrily for him to knock and repair the hot water pipe in the shower room.

Reality aside, I love him.Because of reality, I dare not love him.

Am I a coward?

He tossed and turned and thought for two days.I have that kind of feeling for Xia Ke. I want to be a brother but he has made it clear that I can't be a brother. The rest of the road is either to be together, or to drift away.But it was the words drifting away that made him feel a throbbing pain in his heart.

It's so weird, too sticky, too sticky, it's driving him crazy.

A voice started to pop up in my head asking: Are you gay?

No!

But you love him and you are.

From confusion to anger to shame to final calm.Shang Tang finally exhausted his energy and fell into a sleepless night without dreams.Hanging a piece of iron around the neck, it is better to hang and pull down than to struggle!Even in death, that bastard will be on his back!

April [-]th, Friday.

At four o'clock in the afternoon, in the hotel's cafe.

Ye Lan sat on the seat by the window, sipping a cup of coffee with both hands.Seeing Shang Tang, he smiled and nodded to him.

"I don't go to work this afternoon, we have enough time to talk slowly."

Shang Tang also ordered coffee. He pursed his lips and subconsciously rubbed his left thumb on his right wrist.

Ye Lan's eyes swept across his wrist indiscriminately, her skin was smooth and clean, and there was nothing there. She asked with a smile, "Have you considered how the relationship between us will develop?"

Her eyes were bright, her complexion was good, and she was rosy.

Shang Tang had to solve the "girlfriend" matter before he could go to Xia Ke, but he didn't handle what should be dealt with properly, and he went to Xia Ke when he was still having an affair with others, what was it?

He forced himself to face her squarely. Facing the huge temptation, he was afraid that he would not be able to persist, but he finally managed to say, "I'm sorry."

Ye Lan opened her mouth slightly in surprise: "Excuse me?"

After expressing his position, the next words are not so difficult, like the dam being washed away, he no longer needs to cover up and control his feelings for that bastard, he said: "I'm sorry. You are very good, the problem is all with me, I don't have this Blessings. I like, no, let me just say it, I have homosexual feelings for one of my brothers. But trust me, in the process of being with you, I have no intention of using you as a cover or cheating marriage."

She burst into laughter with a mouthful of coffee, quickly covered her mouth with a tissue, swallowed the coffee and said, "I know. But your words are so straightforward." When it came to words, she couldn't help laughing.

She didn't expect that someone would point out such topics as "homosexuality", "covering" and "fraudulent marriage" under such circumstances.Shang Tang is not purely gay, and he can't fake some details in the process of getting along with him-for example, the night of the first meeting was a dance party, and Shang Tang's eyes were instinctively attracted by her figure.

But later she also realized that Shang Tang was not simple to his "brother".

Shang Tang frowned: "You...know?" How did she know?

"On all our other topics, you give explanations even if you don't say much. Like why can't we meet on the [-]th, because you have a cross-clan party. But every time you mention your 'one brother' , you obviously care about him, but the number of words mentioned about him is always controlled within ten words." She looked at Shang Tang: "Generally, people and things we treat like this are very cherished in our hearts, but because of shame, Guilt, fear, or other feelings, I dare not let others know. Now I wonder why you dare to bring these out again."

Shang Tang remembered that day in the hospital, Xia Ke said that you should leave if you have something to do, and he really left.

I had a premonition in my heart, walking away without looking back would make Xia Ke give up and break the deadlock between them.

But when he walked to the gate of the hospital, he was stopped by someone, and the nurse said, "Hey, you don't bandage your hands!"

He suddenly lowered his head and saw a piece of dried blood on his wrist.

In the speeding car, countless thoughts were entangled, and I couldn't help thinking that if something happened to that bastard this time, would he be okay?He will be fine!Every thought about Xia Ke made me feel like I was sitting on pins and needles, so I could only grit my teeth and forcefully look out the window.

A few sticky fingers tapped the Morse code on his wrist, knocked down to the ground, tapped into his chaotic heartbeat, and told him word by word when he was panicking, don't be afraid.

I just calmed down little by little, and the body temperature of my limbs rose little by little.

Until the blood dries up.He saw the blackened blood, as if roots had taken root under his feet, and he couldn't get out.Unable to control himself, he went to buy a vacuum flask, to buy eight-treasure porridge, to fetch hot water, staring at Xia Ke to eat a few more bites.

Shang Tang said briefly: "A few days ago he had an accident and was injured."

Ye Lan understood that this kind of plot is too similar to a TV series. Once true love is hurt, the protagonist suddenly realizes "I love him/her!"

Shang Tang Siwei was still stuck in this matter, so he didn't bother to explain to her, it wasn't like that.

I found my logic in doing things contradicting itself.When the real danger happened, it was him that I cared about most.On the contrary, when there is no danger, I will give up on him because of the difficulties that may occur in my imagination.

This is not love, but cowardice.

Shang Tang remembered that bastard commented on the newcomers of the student union a long time ago, and said: "Have you noticed that there are more and more anxious children. Everyone is anxious about an uncertain future, and they keep fantasizing about 'I What difficulties will I encounter in the future', and then I was bound by the difficulties I imagined, bound my hands and feet, and painted the ground as a prison. In fact, I was scared out of my wits by life."

Shang Tang mercilessly exposed his sentence of being frightened by life as stealing a movie line, and then he was particularly disgusted, you are only a few years older than a freshman, and you bite one child at a time.

Xia Ke looked at him with a smile and didn't speak.

Now that I think of what he said was right, I have become a person who is frightened by life.For the future risk that has not yet happened, I have to give up a... the person I love.

He was in a trance, and Ye Lan, who was drinking coffee, smiled.

Shang Tang cast a questioning look, and she put down the coffee cup: "I suddenly found out that it was impossible for us to be boyfriend and girlfriend from the beginning. If you dare to face your feelings and tell me the truth like today, we can't make it ;Even if you dare not face your feelings and fall in love with me by default, we can't make it. I don't want a man who dare not face himself. "

She reached out to him across the coffee table: "So let's get to know each other again and be friends."

Miss Ye is a character.Shang Tang shook hands with her and said, "Thank you."