Just A Bit Ruthless

18

"Damn it!" Seeing that Arsenal missed another shot, Ryan yelled angrily at the TV.

James Grayson grinned with his face buried in Ryan's shoulder.His boyfriend is a big fan of Arsenal, but he is not, so it is no wonder that he is not happy to see the Gunners fail after shot after shot.But he won't say it, and he's not stupid.

By the time he catches a glimpse of Luke slumped on the other couch, James can no longer smile."Slumped" might not be an accurate description of his friend's sitting posture: Luke's position always made him feel a little stiff and unnatural.It wasn't the first time James had noticed this anomaly in Luke since his return.James couldn't tell either.On the surface, it doesn't look like Luke is unhappy that way.He looked happy.It's just that there seems to be something weird about him-sometimes it seems.

James bit his lip.He thought that letting Luke come to work in his family's company would divert the latter's attention from the previous incident.It worked—Luke was happy doing what he was good at, and was happy to be free of his father—but there was still something wrong.Luke wasn't the same Luke he used to be.James didn't know how to respond.He's given Luke some space, doesn't want to stress him out, and will talk about it when he's ready.It had been three weeks since Luke had been back, though, and every time the subject came up, he always laughed it off and avoided discussing it.It's like... like something happened to him in Russia - something Luke doesn't want to think about or talk about.

James trembled, burrowed into Ryan's arms, and inhaled the familiar breath of Ryan.

Ryan turned his head. "Jamie?"

James glanced in Luke's direction and whispered, "You saw that too, didn't you?"

Ryan turned his gaze to Luke, and nodded.

"Did you feel that what happened to him during his kidnapping by those people?" James said, deliberately lowering his voice.

Ryan frowned. "Jamie, he was kidnapped by the bad guys and locked up for two full months. It wasn't a vacation. It's only natural that he would look down."

"Probably so," James said, but he didn't really think so.Luke was the most positive and optimistic human being he knew.He doesn't look like he's been incarcerated for two months—if that's what Luke says it is.

"I'm going to try talking to him again," James said.

Ryan watched him for a moment, then nodded. "Talk to him if you feel you need to," he said, kissing one corner of Jamie's mouth, then the other. "It's not your fault, Jamie Bear. You know that, right?"

James buried his face in the crook of Ryan's neck, nuzzling against him. "Yes," he said hesitantly.Logically, he knew he couldn't have prevented Luke from being kidnapped, but there was a part of his mind that couldn't help but wonder: What if he got out of bed that day and insisted on accompanying Luke to St. Petersburg? If so, how things will go.He would have done that if his mind hadn't been so disconnected at the time.However, without Ryan, he would be dying, so he wouldn't care about others.His friend didn't do well.He and Luke had always looked out for each other, keeping little secrets from each other—ordinarily.That's why James was concerned when Luke refused to tell him what happened during his captivity.Luke wasn't the type to keep things to himself.He wasn't bored at all.

"I'm going to talk to him now," James said, unwinding Ryan's arms and legs.

When James came to sit next to Luke, Luke looked at him in surprise. "All right?" he said, glancing in Ryan's direction.

James laughed. "Come on, it's not like he and I are connected at the lower body anytime and anywhere."

Luke scoffed. "It's true. You two were tired enough before, but now that you have reached a bodily fluid exchange relationship, it can make people sick to death. You two are like conjoined twins who are crazy and incestuous. Evil."

James rolled his eyes and elbowed him. "You're jealous, buddy."

"I'm jealous." Luke smiled wistfully. "It's not that you don't know that the current state of you and Ryan is what I have always wanted."

"You'll get it," James said firmly, squeezing Luke's shoulder.Luke was the cutest person he ever knew.It is so easy to fall in love with him, and he is always ready to give his love. "There will be a day when you will meet a good man who loves you to the core, and he will treat you well. You deserve to be loved well."

Luke shook his head, looking away. "I don't want to wait that day," he said. "I think I have it now. I need it now, Jimmy."

Hearing the unusual eagerness in Luke's voice, James frowned.He couldn't help wondering if it had something to do with the events of the past few months; perhaps it was those recent events that made Luke's sense of how short life was.James doesn't think it's healthy to rush into a relationship right after a traumatic event, but maybe that's what Luke needs?

"Do you want to hang out tonight?" James said. "We can go to that nightclub you like to go to. There are so many handsome men."

Luke licked his lips and nodded, bangs falling over his eyes.

James smiled.He knew Luke hated his curly hair, because it made him look so childish, but personally, James had always thought that curly hair was adorable and endearing.

He tugged at the curls playfully. "I forgot how curly your hair is, little curly."

Luke just... froze.

"Dude?" James asked confused.

Luke's hand jerked to his hair.He smoothed his hair back sheepishly, and there was a hint of uneasiness in his brown eyes. "Yeah," he said with a small laugh. "I guess I even forgot about it. I'm going to straighten it." He stood up, looking faintly flustered. "How about I pick you up in a few hours?"

James frowned. "Are you sure you want to hang out tonight?"

"100% sure." Luke smiled brightly at him. "I'm fine. See you later, buddy," he said, and left—the football game on TV was in the middle of it, without even saying "goodbye" to Ryan.Well, Luke says he's fine as long as he's fine.

Later in the day, seeing Luke pass the time with a drink and politely turn down all the men who came up to him to talk more, James was even more concerned.It doesn't look like Luke is completely uninterested in finding a partner: he is indeed trying, but no matter how handsome the other party is, he doesn't seem to be enthusiastic.It was as if there was an invisible fence between Luke and the group of men. Thinking of this, James couldn't help but start to feel hairy.Luke is too outlier too.He had never been like this before.Luke is a gregarious, warm and gracious guy who hits everyone off and makes friends easily.

"What do you think of that guy at the bar?" James sighed and tried again, nodding at the man in the suit. "He's been staring at you for a while." He didn't expect much from this one.The man was much older than them, in his twenties, almost thirty, and he didn't seem to fit in well with the atmosphere of this nightclub.

However, to his surprise, Luke's eyes were glued to the man, and for the first time since tonight, there was a look of interest in his eyes.Luke raised his hand to stroke his unruly hair, and smiled slightly after meeting the stranger's eyes.

The man started walking towards them and James punched Luke. "Are you sure? He's much older than you."

Luke nodded, his long eyelashes covering his downcast eyes, making it impossible to see his expression.

James looked him over with concern.Seriously, it might work this time.Luke has always been a bit old-fashioned for his age, he doesn't like meaningless hookups, and he prefers to have a serious relationship with people.It's easy for James to imagine Luke getting married and having a bunch of kids at a young age—a commitment most 23-year-olds aren't prepared to make.Perhaps an older man would be a better fit for Luke than his peers.

James glanced back at the man who was walking towards them.For some reason, this person looked a little familiar, but no matter how hard James tried to recall, he couldn't remember where he had seen him.

"Hi, my name is Taylor," the man said, shaking his hand.

"I'm James," he introduced himself.

Tyler nods politely—he's not a bad guy—but his dark eyes are fixed on Luke alone, hungry, as if he's already a little bit smitten with him.Now that it was all over, James took his own drink and stepped aside consciously.

He leaned his back against the wall, sipping wine, staring at Luke's situation for a while, and checking his phone for a while.Ryan was coming back here soon—he picked up his brother from a party about an hour ago.

After another half an hour, James looked at Taylor and Luke, and couldn't help frowning: Taylor had already put a hand on Luke's thigh.Is this going a little too fast?

James watched Luke's body movements, trying to see his attitude.I can't see it.Luke sat motionless, staring down, as Tyler wiped his lap, and the man dug his hand into Luke's shirt.While Luke doesn't stop Tyler, something feels off about the whole scene.

"I haven't seen you here before."

Hearing the unfamiliar voice, James forcibly diverted his attention away from Luke. "Sorry, I'm not interested," he said absently, not for the first time tonight.

"How do you know? You don't even look at me," the man joked, leaning on James and putting his hand up on James' upper arm.

This man was really annoying, and James was about to teach him to behave when he put an arm around his hip and pulled him back against a familiar broad chest.James immediately relaxed.

"He doesn't even look at you very much because he already has a master," Ryan said, his warm breath making James' ears itch.

"Ugh, offended, man," the man said, blinking at Ryan, then staring at him—a pretty normal reaction in general.

Seeing the back of the man walking away resentfully, James grinned. "Maybe you should try modeling," he said, and James closed his eyes as Ryan started nibbling his jaw. "That way at least you'll have money when people are staring at you."

"I don't want to make you jealous."

James laughed. "If I get jealous every time someone is crazy about you, I'll have a stomach ulcer. They can just watch it if they like. Anyway, no one can touch it except me."

"I knew you'd only have my pretty face," Ryan said, feigning sadness.

James laughed again, because they both knew that wasn't true at all.Since the two of them were kids, Ryan was all he wanted. "That's right, and the two ounces of meat in your crotch," he said. "I kind of like your cock."

Ryan put a smirk on his face. "My cock likes you too. By the way, where's Luke?"

"On the right. With an older man in a black suit."

"He's not there."

what?

James opened his eyes.Ryan was right, the table Luke and Tyler were sitting at was taken by another group.

"He was here a few minutes ago," he said, with a rush of worry.He looked toward the dance floor, but saw no one.

"Maybe they saw each other and went off together," Ryan said.

James pursed his lips and shook his head. "Luke wouldn't do that. And after what happened like that, I don't think he'd go with strangers. He's drunk, what if Tyler takes advantage of him?"

"Let's go to the bathroom first," Ryan said, taking his hand and leading him through the crowd. "Call his cell phone."

"He's not answering," James said, frowning at his phone.

"We'll find him," Ryan said, squeezing his hand. "I'm sure he's going to be all right. He's probably messing with that man somewhere."

They searched both bathrooms, but still couldn't find Luke.

When they decided to check the alley behind the nightclub, James panicked.

There were two people standing against the wall, the taller one trapped the shorter one with his body.James recognized Taylor's suit.

At first glance, he wasn't quite sure what was going on.At first, he thought Ryan was right, that Luke was making out with the man.Tyler was kissing Luke, oh shit, that was basically fucking Luke through his clothes.

"Don't just flirt and fuck," Tyler said viciously, running his hands between their bodies. "You know you like it." There was a murmur of resistance, and then Tyler swore, "You little bitch—"

Ryan rushed up first.He pulls Tyler away from Luke and slams the man against the wall so hard that Tyler groans.

"People say no, but they don't want it, you bastard," Ryan said, punching the man in the stomach.Tyler hummed and bent over his stomach.It looked like it was hurting—Ryan's fist wasn't a vegetarian—but James didn't feel sorry for the man at all.

"Ryan, let him go," Luke said hoarsely, sliding along the wall to the floor and sitting down, wrapping his arms around his knees. "He's an asshole, yes, but I did show him that. I'm responsible, too."

"But--"

"Don't let me see him again," Luke whispered, staring at the ground. "Please."

Ryan frowned and looked at James.

James knew there were some things Luke would never say in front of Ryan.His boyfriend and Luke get along fine, but they're not confidants.Luke is James' childhood friend, not Ryan's.

James looked at Luke's drooping head. "Honey, can I have a few minutes alone with him? How about you wait for us in the car?"

Ryan nodded, grabbed Taylor by the collar and led him away together.

When it was just the two of them, James sat down next to Luke and put a hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay?" he said, squeezing Luke's shoulder. "The man is gone, you are safe now."

Luke forced a dry laugh from his throat. "Yeah," he said, leaning the back of his head against the wall. "I'm safe. Damn safe enough."

James frowned. "Why did you allow that bastard to do things like that to you? When he licked you at the table, you looked uncomfortable."

Luke didn't answer, his red eyes glazed over.

After a while, he said: "Sometimes, I like to pretend that I don't want to, so I thought... I thought that as long as I let that person force me to do something I don't want to do, I won't do it." So—so much on my mind." Luke laughed again.The laughter was horrible: hollow, lost.James was terrified: something happened, something happened.

"But it's not like that at all," Luke whispered, looking at the ground. "Why is it so different? I've been waiting and hoping...hoping that it's just me being perverted."

Now James is really at a loss.Luke's words completely baffled him.

"He looks like that guy," Luke murmured, with an expression that looked resentful, obsessed, but also desperate. "Although their eyes are completely different."

Goosebumps ran up James' spine, and he felt a heaviness in his stomach.He knew now why Tyler looked familiar: he looked like the Russian tycoon, the man with the grim blue eyes--the man Luke had kidnapped after meeting him.But Luke denied that Roman Demidov had anything to do with his kidnapping.Luke claims he doesn't know who kidnapped him, or what he wants.Why?

"You know who planned to kidnap you," James said firmly.The content of this sentence made him very uncomfortable. "Why would you lie to MI6? Why would you lie to your dad? Lie to all of us?"

Luke looked at him in a blink of an eye, his eyes were wide open, and with the dark eyes, he looked so confused. "If I tell the truth, I'll have to face him again," he said, his lips barely moving. "I just want to forget everything that happened. I don't want to see him again or think about him or—" He stopped, pressing the knuckles of the back of his hand to his eyes. "I want to forget everything that happened, okay?"

Feeling his heart sink, James pulled Luke up to his chest and hugged him tightly.He didn't know what to say, and he didn't know how to think.

"But what about that Tyler?" he said, because he had to ask—it could be dangerous to bury your head in the sand and imitate an ostrich. "What if that happens again, buddy?"

"No more," Luke resolutely said, his tone very determined. "I didn't come out tonight looking for that kind of guy. I wanted a nice guy—no—not that kind of guy. I wasn't looking for a guy like him. I hate him, I swear."

James strokes Luke's curls.They've grown a lot during Luke's disappearance.

"I hated him, inside and out," Luke said.

"Ah."

"He's completely different from me."

James didn't say anything, because of course Roman Demidov wouldn't be in the same league with a boy as sweet as Luke.

"I'm glad I never see him again," Luke's voice was hoarse.

"Yeah," James said, hugging him tighter.

He pretended not to notice that his chest was getting wet.