please save me save me

Chapter 38 of 3

Ever since Gu Boxun passed away unexpectedly, the already taciturn Gu Xunze couldn't even say a few decent words.

When it was not necessary, his mouth seemed to be locked, and he remained silent.

He didn't even look abnormal, he should eat, drink, sleep, work and rest regularly, and eat normally.Even the score did not drop by half a point, it was stable and solid.

Everything seems to be proceeding in an orderly manner.

But in Qiao Lianjian's view, this is the biggest abnormality.

In the first few days, Gu Xunze almost washed his face with tears, as if he wanted to drain all the tears in his life before giving up.

But after that, he seemed to have figured it out suddenly, forgot all the sorrows, and became a numb and sluggish person.He seems to be manipulated, only doing what he should do, and indifferent to everything else.

Or maybe it was because he had experienced the sudden death of a close relative a long time ago, so he seemed to be able to handle it with ease.

Instead of being immersed in sadness and pain for a long time, he stepped out quickly and continued to work hard for the life he was doomed to be alone in the future.

A person's life is destined to be lonely, and only oneself is the most trustworthy.

This is what Gu Boxun told him a long time ago.

In another half a year, Gu Xunze's senior year in high school came to an end, that is to say, he will be greeted by the college entrance examination and application form, which will be an important choice to determine his future life.

He seemed to have spent a lot of hard work and energy, earned enough experience points, and was finally qualified to stand at the fork in his dream, choose the one he wanted, and pass the level unimpeded.

Gu Xunze's grades have always been outstanding. All the teachers are not worried about this. The key is what school he is interested in.

After having dinner in the cafeteria, Gu Xunze nestled in the dormitory, staring at the volunteer form in a daze.

Qiao Lianjian suddenly appeared and followed him to stare at the list in his hand.The invisible gaze became tangible, about to poke a hole in that flimsy application form.

After a long time, Qiao Lianjian asked softly, "Have you not decided on your wish yet?"

Gu Xunze shook his head slowly.

Maybe, but now he is no longer qualified to chase his dreams.

He has no family anymore, who will bear the tuition and living expenses for him?

Joe's?No, he already owed the Qiao family enough, how could he have the nerve to ask them?

He should choose an ordinary major and work hard to earn a scholarship.In the future, I will find a solid job, repay Qiao's family, and then live this lonely and monotonous life.

Qiao Lianjian didn't notice Gu Xunze's thousands of thoughts, and he suggested enthusiastically, "Why don't you apply to Xihua University?"

Gu Xunze looked at him questioningly, with a puzzled expression on his face: "Why?"

Qiao Lianjian said to himself: "Because that is the school I dreamed of, and I want to be with you all the time in college. Although it is true that Xihua's admission score is high, but at your level, it is definitely not enough. No problem. If you enter Xihua, I will work harder to catch up with you."

Under Qiao Lianjian's burning and expectant gaze, Gu Xunze hesitated for a while, but still filled in the name of Xihua University in Qingyi's handwriting on the volunteer form.

Perhaps, he is destined to drift with the tide and bow his head to fate in his life.

In the hot summer, the highly anticipated college entrance examination ended successfully.

Qiao Lianjian remembered that it was a drowsy afternoon, and the cicadas perched on the old locust tree outside the window were singing one after another.A concerto was simply a calming tool. Qiao Lianjian propped his head on the window sill, closed his heavy eyelids, and almost fell asleep.

A brief and rapid knock on the door forcibly pulled him back from another chaotic world.

Qiao Lianqiang pulled himself together, patted his cheek vigorously, and trotted over to open the door.

Gu Xunze stood outside the door, his lips were drawn into a tight line, looking preoccupied.

Qiao's mother once praised Gu Xunze's standing posture, saying that he was always upright and full of energy - this is what young people should look like.

At some point in time, Qiao Lianjian's height has been on the same level as him, or even a little taller than him.It seemed that Gu Xunze was no longer the elder brother Qiao Lianjian looked up to.

Seeing that Qiao Lian was inexplicably moved by Gu Xunze's emotions, he couldn't help becoming nervous, and his palms were covered with sticky sweat.

"How is it? Have the test results come out?" He asked tentatively.

Gu Xunze nodded heavily, but what he brought was good news: "I passed the exam."

His tone was extremely flat, as if there was no emotion involved.It seems to be expected, but also unexpected.

Although Qiao Lianjian was surprised by his attitude, he couldn't help but cheer up: "Isn't this pretty good? Why are you so depressed?"

Just when he was about to answer shamelessly, "Are you annoyed that you will see me less often in the future?" Gu Xunze interrupted him roughly: "But I didn't get into Xihua University. University."

Qiao Lianjian was stunned for a moment: "Why/why?"

"I changed my choice temporarily. I didn't apply for Xihua in the first place." Gu Xunze said with difficulty, staring at the smooth ground.

Qiao Lianjian was stunned and speechless for a moment, Gu Xunze continued: "I applied for another university of my choice. Before the college entrance examination, your mother had a long talk with me and said that she supported my ideas and was willing to help me. I will , I will go to a city far away from here and study at university there. I may also become a lawyer in the future, which is my long-cherished dream.”

Qiao Lianjian's tone was trembling: "You and your mother have been hiding it from me... for so long?"

He stepped forward and grabbed Gu Xunze's shoulders forcefully: "Why didn't you tell me on purpose? Why did you bury everything in your heart? Why couldn't you discuss it with me? I will support your dream too! Are you... Or do you treat me like a stubborn child?"

A series of aggressive questions caused Gu Xunze to lose his mind. He shook off Qiao Lianjian's tighter and tighter restraint, and said loudly, "Aren't you a child who hasn't grown up yet!?"

Qiao Lianjian's eyes flickered.

"Ask yourself, if I told you a long time ago, wouldn't you be angry and insist on asking me to change my will again?" Gu Xunze asked bluntly.

Qiao Lianjian opened his mouth, as if subconsciously trying to defend himself, but he still couldn't say anything.

"I can't tell you... because I know that all this time, you just want to tie me to you. Because when your most important relatives leave, my appearance is like a life-saving straw for you, let You mistakenly think that you are very dependent on me. I also know that if you make this request, I will definitely agree. From the beginning to the end, only in front of you, all my persistence and self-esteem are useless. "

Why did he obey Qiao Lianjian unconditionally, and why all his hard feelings were defeated just in front of this person?

He didn't dare to think about the real reason.

Gu Xunze leaned against the door, his eyes were red: "If you don't have me, I can't survive... Then I am harming you, and it will make you never grow up. The journey of life is to go alone No one can help you. I have been too indulgent to you all this time. After I leave, you should also re-examine yourself. Temporary pleasures of wine and meat will not give you real satisfaction, but will only make you You're obsessed with it."

"Are you going to leave me alone..." Qiao Lianjian stood there, feeling the blood flow from his whole body and rushing to the top of his head.

Gu Xunze became cruel, and continued: "Qiao Lianjian, in your imagination, what is my destination?"

Qiao Lianjian looked at him ignorantly, his eyes that had always been clear became cloudy, as if he had stirred up all the mud that had sunk to the bottom, and the sky was dark.

"To be your housekeeper? Or to be your secretary?"

.........

"Any title is fine, as long as I can always be by your side, right?"

Qiao Lianjian never thought about this question.He always took Gu Xunze's company as a matter of course.At the same time, he is also willing to give back to Gu Xunze all the needs within his ability.

He will give Gu Xunze everything he has, and it is his duty to do so.

"You can generously leave me a place next to you... I'm very happy. But that's not what I really want. What I want is not a bondage, but a world that I broke out by myself." Gu Xunze said sincerely.

Qiao Lianjian didn't say a single word from the beginning to the end.Everything had a huge impact on him.The position he held on in his heart collapsed suddenly.

He felt that he had gone back to a few years ago, and re-experienced the loneliness and helplessness when he just heard the sad news of his father's death.

He remembered that he left everyone behind and ran under the big green locust tree, his mind was full of uncomfortable murmurs, buzzing, disturbing all his thoughts.

Later, Gu Xunze extended a helping hand to him, and he grasped it eagerly, becoming the only pursuit in this life.But now, that hand will gradually be withdrawn.

So what is he going to do?From now on, who can be his reliance?

After Gu Xunze finished speaking what he wanted to say, he looked at Qiao Lian with nostalgia, as if he wanted to clearly engrave his facial features into the depths of his mind and hide them there.

He sighed, long and hesitant.

Whether the path he chose is correct or not, no one knows, only if he tries his best to explore, can he be worthy of everything he has paid now.

Even if he was covered in bruises and lost everything, it was still his life.

He turned and left without stopping for a moment, and disappeared at the end of the corridor in a blink of an eye.

Qiao Lianjian listened in a daze to the sound of footsteps getting further and further away until they disappeared.Perhaps, he should have chased after him, but at this moment, the strength in his whole body seemed to be taken away, and he could no longer move.

On the day Gu Xunze left, Qiao Lianjian shut himself in the study and ignored anyone.

He buried himself in the pile of books, thinking that he would have a good sleep, and when he woke up, there would be no Gu Xunze in this house anymore.

No one angrily lectured the stubborn him, no one complained, but they really cared about him who was sick.

No one watched TV with him, no one fell asleep with him.

No more...no more.

Qiao Lianjian vaguely remembered that before Gu Xunze left, he came to the door of the study and knocked on the door.One sound after another, determined and resolute.

Back then, Gu Xunze knocked on the door of his closed heart like this.

And now, the door that was opened only for him will not open again in response.

Qiao Lianjian listened numbly and closed his eyes, like a sculpture that had been sleeping for a long time, only breathing was still regular.

Gu Xunze sensed Qiao Lianjian's resistance, and knew that no matter how long he knocked on the door, Qiao Lianjian would never come to see him.

So he didn't insist anymore, but told him a lot through a door.

For example, "take good care of yourself", "don't make your aunt unhappy anymore" and other trivial words.

Gu Xunze didn't know if Qiao Lianjian had listened carefully, he confided these words seriously, and was surprised to find that he was so worried and unwilling to give up Qiao Lianjian.

After the call was over, there was still silence in the study.

Gu Xunze no longer had any reason to stay. He dragged the suitcase beside him and walked away step by step.

This time, farewell, the ends of the earth.The world is impermanent, but I hope you are safe.

After Gu Xunze left, Qiao Lianjian was depressed for a long time.

After being sluggish, he forcibly cheered up.From then on, it seemed like a living changed person.

He broke off all contact with his friends, friends, and never skipped class again. Instead, he continued to read books, and his homework gradually followed.

He seemed to want to prove to the man—

You see, I can do just fine without you.

It's better than when I'm with you.

The author has something to say:

school starts……