【Double Xun】Know what is like

Chapter 15

In the early spring of [-], Xun You returned to Shanghai.Captain Zhao's letter of introduction seemed to be of some use, so Xun You rented an old storage room based on it, and got a job as an apprentice under an old gardener to maintain food and clothing.

After returning to Shanghai, Xun You seldom slept and was afraid of lying on the bed. He bought a second-hand old bamboo chair and put several layers of blankets on it to make it a bed.Blow out the candles at nine o'clock in the evening, wake up at one o'clock in the morning, pillow on the old man's chair and read some books found in the second-hand book market.

Old books often have a strong smell of dust, bleak and desolate, always reminding people of the cold autumn by the river, but Xun You has gradually become dependent on this special smell.The ancient novels that I couldn't look down on before are now slowly gnawed down.

At three o'clock in the morning, he would get up, wash up, and go out soon.

Wen Feiqing has a poem that goes, "The sound of chickens, the moon in Maodian, and the frost on Banqiao, are famous lines for travelers who travel early."It is necessary to go early and travel, in order to appreciate the panic of the times.

Xun You never left Shanghai in his life, but he repeated the itinerary of an early traveler day after day—this was his homework at three o'clock in the morning.

In addition, he seemed to suffer from other ailments, probably related to the heart: whenever the sky leaked a merciless light, he began to have heart palpitations.He avoids the sunrise like the plague, and often suffocates when there is no place for the sunrise.

Many stories have turned into Qianbi with a blurred face in his mind, but his body still remembers them very clearly.He stretched out his hand, trying to hold the illusory image in his memory, but he could only shatter a lake.The lake water overflowed his mouth and nose, but it made him suffer in vain.

The flower and bird market used to be lively, but gradually withered, leaving only a cold street.The old gardener was lonely all his life and had no descendants. Xun You fulfilled his wish.

Xun You studied very carefully, distinguishing and screening, taking care of the branches and leaves, and remembering the habits of each flower.This little girl likes Yang, and that little girl likes Yin, he remembers it clearly.The old gardener favored him, praised him as a smart boy, and it was aggrieved to learn how to grow flowers after him.

Xun You didn't tell him that he was happy to work with plants and felt at ease.

In fact, he dreamed of Xun Yu.

The first dream was in the summer of [-], when the cicadas sang frequently and the sun was shining brightly. Xun You met him during a short lunch break.It's just a distant figure, clear and slender, with an indistinct face, but one can see the handsome eyebrows and eyes that can only be raised by the southern mountains and rivers.

Xun You hurriedly chased after him, afraid of disturbing the fairy's dream and losing Xun Yu's soul, he could only stand in the cold wind, soaking his clothes behind for nothing.

Fear blocked his tears, and he no longer cried like a human being, always looking around pretending to be calm.Fortunately, everything is running normally, the flowers are blooming, the birds are singing, and the fireworks are flourishing in the world. No one cares about judging his dreams, and no one peeps at his sorrow of passing away.

It's a pity that the vigilance and pain still took all the strength mercilessly, and he just fell suddenly into the flower soil, covered in mud.

The old gardener asked him why he was crying, and he wiped his face helplessly, his mind began to spin rapidly.He wanted to choose one of the many titles to perfectly explain this shocking gaffe.

He found it.

"I am deeply saddened by the passing of a dear friend from the past."

The old gardener finally stopped asking more questions and left him in the ruins.He cried so hard that his nostrils were full of dirt and the smell was all over the sky, but he still buried his head in the dirt and buried it again, wishing he could just say goodbye.

It hurt too much, and he didn't have any weapons to resist such abuse.

He wanted to go back to that light night when the moon was shining brightly, to face off against the ferocious mountains and fields, and to stalk the world in the vast expanse of flat sand.

In a certain microsecond, a quarter of an hour, he even wanted all the villains in the world to be buried in place of Xun Yu.

But after that, he quickly learned a recipe for relief.He learned to fantasize about Xun Yu living anywhere in the world and reincarnating leisurely on different paths, which made him feel much better.He even cultivated an ingenious world, where Xun Yu enjoyed the wind and rain, studied rhetoric and calligraphy, and respected Tao Qian with a bouquet of noble chrysanthemums at the foot of Nanshan Mountain.

As long as the few pounds of flesh in the chest are still beating and the blood is continuously flowing, Xun Yu will live forever. Who can let him die?

Xun You lay down peacefully on the bed. It was a quarter past nine, a quarter of an hour later than before, because tonight was the first time they met outside of a dream, and Xun You allowed himself to take a short errand.