[Shenya] Aphasia

Chapter 17

"I remember I said I'm not interested in jokes like yours."

Kanda put the glass back on the desk, some of the tea in it spilled out on the keyboard of the laptop, and he pressed down on the computer screen, making a heavy plastic clinking sound.

If it was the previous few times when he was restless, Allen would not say this kind of thing a second time, but this time, he made up his mind.

"Yu, give up." Seeing that Kanda was about to turn around and leave, he grabbed his arm, "We can't do this."

"To shut up."

"Yu, I'm serious." Aren vaguely felt the other hand trembling with the hand he was holding on to, which must not be a good omen, which meant that Kanda Yu was very angry.He always annoyed Kanda, they were already at odds, it was always difficult to force love each other, Allen didn't want to try it anymore, because he lost confidence in such a useless self, even though he loved him so much.

"To shut up."

"Kanda Yu, with you like this, you have nothing, you can't get it!"

"To shut up!"

"Your parents hope that you, well, get married and have children. Only when I'm not with you..."

"I said shut up!" Kanda pulled out his clenched arm and grabbed his collar, the boy blushed because he couldn't express himself fluently, "Don't use them as an excuse, it's your cowardice that made him Don't dare to face the reality, only you!"

"I don't want to!" Allen became excited, "Continuing like this, I don't want to, I feel bad, if you drag you down like this...we are not good!"

The two flames in Kanda's eyes intensified when he heard the word "drag".

"Drag...ha, Bean Sprouts, I never taught you this word," he laughed angrily, "I have learned about your self-righteousness a long time ago, I should have thought of it earlier."

"Yu, think about it calmly... Our current relationship..." Allen struggled.

"Enough!" Kanda interrupted him, "You were the one who pointed out our relationship at the beginning, and you were the one who wanted to end it... Let me tell you, I know better than you about our current relationship."

He freed one hand, skillfully took off the windbreaker of the person in front of him, and threw it on the back of the chair.

"Bean sprouts, you'd better not struggle. We've done it countless times, but I don't guarantee that it won't hurt if you resist too much. See clearly," Kanda sneered, and turned Alian 180 degrees so that he turned his back to him.

"This is Tokyo not Manchester. Where you stand is my home, my room. In front of you is my desk. Behind you is my bed. Downstairs sits my family—if you want, of course. Yours." Kanda lowered his head and said slowly in his ear, all his breath sprayed on Allen's ear, "I'm about to have sex with my lover in my room, do you understand what I mean? You This is the situation right now..."

"You have nothing but me."

He pulled Allen's chin and kissed those lips.

"Hey, young man," the rabbi hooked Allen's shoulders, whispering in his ear with a playful smile, "we must do it with Ayou once at Ayou's house." He said and made a suggestive gesture , One hand is clasped into a ring, and the index finger of the other is inserted into it.

"Why?" Allen smiled and pushed his friend away.

"You idiot, because there is Ayou who you didn't get to know in time."

"I don't know?"

"It's him before I met him. Think about it. He was beaten on that bed, did arithmetic problems on that table, and watched other boys play football on that balcony. There are his report cards and The certificate, the car he liked when he was a child, and the photo album in the storage box...Ayou there, don't you want to know about it?"

"I don't quite understand. Are you trying to say that You can't play football?"

"Ah——" the red-haired young man wailed towards the ceiling, "This disease is so damned!"

It was ten o'clock in the evening. I don't know if the sound insulation of the light Japanese-style wooden house is not good or the volume of the TV downstairs is too loud. Even if it is separated by a floor, the sound of the evening report that Kanda's parents are watching can be heard.The windows were not closed, and the cold night breeze came in, and the leaves made a gentle rustling sound. It was a refreshing and comfortable night, very suitable for a sound sleep.

It was hot and dry inside.The boy's vigilant body will never be able to resist his lover's teasing, not to mention Yu Kanda, who knows all the sensitive points of his body. Allen quickly collapsed under Kanda's caress. If it wasn't for the support of the other party, he would probably sit on the ground.

Kanda breathed heavily, stretched out his hand to fish it out, put him on the bed in his room with his waist, and began to pull his belt.

"Forget it, forget it, You," Allen tugged on his pants, "I'll hear it..."

"Are you afraid of being heard?" Kanda raised his eyebrows, amused by what he cared about, "So what if you are heard."

There were two pillows and two quilts on the bed, which were very soft. Kanda stared blankly at the man who had fallen into the quilt for a while, and then took out a pillow and put it under his waist, so that Allen's hip bones could Lifting up, the teased lower body clearly bulges the trousers.

"Woo..." Allen couldn't help rubbing his legs impatiently, "If we are heard, we..."

"What are you afraid of?" Kanda laughed, "That's what I should be worried about."

"You tell me, bean sprouts, I'm interested,"

He squinted his eyes, put one hand on Allen's ear, opened his shirt with the other hand, slid his warm fingers across the other's Adam's apple, collarbone, and then turned to one side, accurately touching a soft Protruding, kneading and kneading slowly.

Allen moaned from between his teeth, Kanda curled his lips: "Do you think it's scary to be discovered by my parents?"

Allen closed his eyes and gritted his teeth in embarrassment, and ignored him.

"Aren't you going to answer?" Kanda frowned, holding his erect penis through his pants, "Then you can answer."

"Ah... Kanda Yuu!"

"Alan Walker, did you make a mistake? I still remember what you said just now. I haven't extinguished the fire yet. You can continue to add fuel to the fire now." Kanda looked down and untied the person under him. The trousers and panties were pulled down to the knees, staring at the cute pink thing in the hair because of the blood, and just such a hot gaze can make Allen sink deeper and deeper in the vortex of desire, as long as Can resist in vain.

"Don't touch, let me go...ah——"

Kanda reached into the boy's tightly locked thighs with one hand, scratched the tender flesh inside with his rough fingertips, and then flipped his hand over to easily open a gap between the tightly clamped legs.

"Because, because they are found out, they will be disappointed... After all, we are... woo..."

For some reason, the unwillingness and grievance accumulated for too long surged at this moment.

Living in the UK, he hadn't experienced it for so long that he had almost forgotten the fear, the fear of being forever separated by a veil, never being able to be generous, never being able to have an ordinary family life... the taboo fear.

Kanda is a modern youth who understands the supremacy, but his parents are not, or never thought that their children would have such a relationship with him... Maybe it is an unbearable relationship in their eyes.His lover is so good and has a happy family, he can't bear to be exhausted by his own illness, and he can't bear to interfere with their happiness and ruin them.

He is a man without a family, and in the future...he probably won't have one.So cherishing other people's happiness as if he felt happiness himself, hasn't he always been so good at deceiving himself?

Kanda was stunned for a long time: "Just because of this?"

Allen nodded, then shook his head, looking very tired.

"My illness is very troublesome, I don't want to continue. You and I are both tired. This is the worst. You should have a life, you should..."

Kanda suddenly laughed.

"You think our current situation is very bad, and there is no room for change, so it would be better to give up, don't you?"

"Yes……"

"Alan Walker," Kanda took a deep breath, and while pulling off Allen's pants and taking off his own, he gritted his teeth and said, "I never thought you would use this method to escape the truth. I don't understand why you To be so frightened, however bad it is, is justified to me, because there is nothing to be afraid of if you ask yourself, unless..."

He picked him up and pressed him against his forehead after he stood still.Allen had never heard Kanda speak to him in such a tone, as if the voice came from his slightly frowning brows, that kind of painful and bitter tone.

"...Even you give up on me."

At that moment, Allen felt that something collapsed in his heart, and the pain spread beyond measure.

He suddenly became dizzy, and he opened his mouth to explain something, but couldn't utter a word.

"I……"

But Kanda grabbed him, opened the door, and pushed out the naked man except for an open shirt.

"excellent--!"

Allen screamed in fright, and immediately covered his mouth.

"How about playing a game?" Kanda whispered jokingly in his ear, "Let's do it here once, and if they don't find out, I will agree to your request to break up."

"You, you're crazy!" Allen's voice trembled.

They stood two or three steps away from the stairs. This position just walked out of the wall, and they could see the sofa in the living room facing away from them.Kanda's parents were sitting on the sofa, and the TV was playing a movie that had just started for them. In order to enjoy the audio-visual enjoyment, they turned up the volume a little.

Although the walls shielded them from the bright lights of the living room and hid them in a layer of tea-colored shadows, Kanda's parents could still see the two naked people in the faint light whenever they heard the movement and turned their heads.

Allen reached out and grabbed the wooden railing of the stairs to struggle, but Kanda pulled out his tie and tied his hands together at the wrist.

"No, You..." Allen's voice was almost crying with fear, "Please, don't..."

But before he could finish his words, he was forced to close his lips tightly, because without saying a word, Kanda stuck his index finger into the honey hole and stirred it slightly.

The pleasure came like a wave, and the eyes were full of stars.Allen bit his lips tightly, swallowing every moan he almost blurted out.But it was very difficult, because every time he adjusted his breath and thought he was about to recover, Kanda's scratching followed closely.He buried his face in the hair on the back of the boy's neck, and his lips reached into the protruding neck ligament of the body in his arms, slowly licking and kissing.There was a warm scent that belonged only to Allen on his neck, lingering faintly in his nostrils, stimulating his desire.

Allen raised his head, leaned against Kanda's arms and panted heavily, his lover's eyes were full of his flushed cheeks.

"Bean sprouts, you look much cuter now than before." Kanda reached for his lips and kissed him deeply.

"Stop playing, Yuu," Allen begged for mercy in a low voice, "Stop playing, please..."

"You don't understand at all... experience it well, this is punishment."

Punish him, and punish yourself.

Kanda closed his eyes, holding back a sad choked sob.

Pulling out the fingers of his lover, he took out the prepared condom from his jacket pocket and tore open the package, the sweet and sticky liquid splashed all over his hands.

He made do with the mucus on his hands, stroked the mouth of Allen's hole a few times, and then stretched it in to apply it. With his index finger, he patiently rubbed every wrinkle in his body to apply the mucus.Allen tightened his back, shivering uncontrollably, making one unable to help letting go of him, hugging him tightly, and comforting him not to be afraid of anything, because he was with him.

Kanda smiled self-deprecatingly, and slowly pushed the erect penis into the soft tunnel.

"Woo...ah..." Aren bit his lips again due to the full pleasure, the joint was a little painful, but it was itchy deep inside, it was a place that Kanda couldn't reach with this posture, desire The torture made him show a painful expression.Afraid that he would bite him, Kanda spared his arm and stretched it out in front of his eyes.

"Idiot, if you can't stand it, just bite here."

Allen blinked, searched for some remaining rationality in the chaos in his brain, and then shook his head.

Kanda stared at him, and let out a sneer from his throat.

"I'll see how long you can be self-righteous."

He held the opponent's waist and moved up and down.

The movie on the TV is playing in a quiet place, only the slight sound of some objects colliding.The two people at the stairway became more and more fierce, and Kanda methodically increased the force and speed of the confrontation, and the tender meat at the intersection made a "squeaky" sound.Alian's legs were so weak that he couldn't stand, so he stretched out his bound hands and tried to grab the railing in front of him again, giving himself some insignificant support.

Even such a small movement was quickly noticed by Kanda, and quickly opened his hands.Allen had nowhere to support him, so he could only subconsciously support the arm around his waist.Kanda's voice was foggy, like a demon whispering in his ears.

"Don't touch anything else, don't you understand? The worst will never happen... as long as you hold on to me."

"Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo"

He stabbed deliberately, and an uncontrollable moan escaped from Allen's clenched teeth, and finally pierced through the noise of the TV and reached the ears of the elders.

But the dark stairway was empty.

"Honey, did you hear anything?"

"Probably the sound from the TV, aren't the children resting in the house?"

"is that so……"

Kanda's mother looked suspiciously at the stairs, but the sofa was too far away, so she had to turn her head and continue watching TV.

Behind the wall at the stairway, Kanda held Aren firmly in his arms, and blocked his moaning with his mouth.The boy was probably frightened, he hid in his chest and shivered, and even sobbed softly.

No matter how unbearable he was in the past, this guy was always stubborn and awkward in bed. He knew how to satisfy Kanda while making himself comfortable. He had his own needs and actions, and sometimes even took the initiative to pounce on Kanda when he seemed less active.Instead of being helpless like now, tied to the edge of danger with aroused sexual desire... This may be the one sex that he doesn't want to recall the most.

Kanda smiled bitterly.

"Hey," he fiddled with the boy's still erect organs with two fingers, "Go ahead."

Allen was shocked like being shocked by an electric shock.

"No, don't, don't..." He shook his head vigorously, trying to piece together the fragmented words, "I won't do it, You, I won't do it..."

Kanda choked him tightly, as if he would run away if he let go - as he had done twice.

Kanda has always been a self-aware person. On the rainy day when he was pulled out of Wesley's bar, he was prepared to deal with this fool's rotten character for the rest of his life.But when the other party escaped again, under the intertwined attack of bitter emotions and outburst desires, tears welled up in his eyes when he learned that even he had been abandoned by the other party.

I'm not afraid of hell, but I'm afraid of seeing you inside.

The young man finally couldn't help lowering his head, his loose black hair fell naturally like flowing water, covering half of his face.

Until he staggered back to the room and closed the door and locked it, Kanda was still inserted into Alian's body, but there was no more movement.

Allen came back to his senses and turned his head with a question.

"Excellent...excellent?!"

He saw Kanda crying, a man who had never shed a tear, hardly even felt down.But Allen could clearly see tears sliding down the sides of his straight nose, those slender and beautiful black eyes were soaked in the water that was about to come out from the two pools, every overflowing tear fell on his heart, the hot tears instantly wiped him The burning pain is almost suffocating.

The young man said that he didn't worry about anything, but he was only afraid of being given up by him.

"You, You, don't..." Yalian stretched out his fingers frantically, wiping the tears from the corners of his eyes, "Don't cry..."

"I won't mention breaking up anymore, never again, don't you..." He held one of Kanda's hands and pressed it to his face, begging with sobs in his mouth, "Please don't, I promise everything, everything... "

Allen hugged his lover's naked back with his backhand. The moment he saw Kanda cry, he finally knew how wrong he was.How did he reject and reject the person in front of him who bet everything on him?When did he become so cruel to this person who has been clumsily and diligently surrendering his love even though it was the first time?How did he goug out his lover's heart that beats for him one by one, and belittle what he valued?

"I'm sorry, Yuu, I'm sorry..."

"Alian, I will protect you," Kanda looked at him with eyes blurred by tears, and said hoarsely, "Can you trust me once?"

There are still many things he can't say, and he hopes that Allen will consider the future of their love.

He wants him to be mentally prepared to face any consequences.

He hoped that he would be brave and not run away again.

"I believe it, I believe it," Allen hugged him crying and laughing, and buried his face on his shoulder, "I won't, give up on you, I swear."

I swear, wherever you are, no matter how difficult it is, I will muster up the courage to move forward.

I swear, I will give you all my trust and spiritual support, and I will never run away and shrink back like this.

I swear to give you more love.

I swear to always make you love me.

"Kanda Yu, I love you, I have always loved you."

Allen kissed Kanda's salty lips, and those two soft lips outlined a painful shape.He raised his buttocks on tiptoe, then sank down slowly, repeating this and speeding up, playing with his lover's genitals left in his body.The organs that had almost softened after the tossing just now raised his head again, scratching the inner wall of the corridor, causing him to shudder.

He suddenly lost his footing and fell to the ground, Kanda hugged him in time, separated his legs and straddled him.After this position was completed, the lower bodies of the two immediately joined together, and Kanda's penis slid into the deepest part of Allen's body.

"what……"

Allen tensed his thigh muscles and moved faster with the help of Kanda's hands.Even when they returned to the room, they couldn't make too much noise. For a while, there were only the sound of body collision and the friction of the fluid in the joint, which was obscene but satisfying.

Kanda stared, grabbed Allen's penis and began to fiddle with it.

"Ah-yuu, uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

Under the joint stimulation of the front and back, Allen convulsed and reached the climax. While he was contracting his acupoints, Kanda also ejaculated with a moan.

Human unions are always so frenzied, you will feel your blood boiling, you will find that the heavy panting in your ears is ten times larger than usual, and you will be delighted by your lover's sweat and satisfied eyebrows.You want his scent, in exchange for love, body, and life.

The two limp after sex hugged each other and collapsed on the bed, the sheets soaked with sweat.

Under the light of the goose-yellow bedside lamp, Allen looked straight into Kanda's eyes, and suddenly understood the meaning of the rabbi's words.

He has always had such an important position in this person's world, in his past and future, in his life.When they look into each other's soul, they can find their own value, and find that they are cherished at the top of their hearts. ——Obviously so obvious, but he realized it at the cost of almost losing him.

This seemingly indifferent person has such a deep love, and he wants to exchange everything, including pain, with him.

The ultimate meaning of love is not to share joys and sorrows, but to share the fragility and incompleteness, and then stand up and continue to smile at him.

——Finally, find the complete self in his love.

-TBC.