[Shenya] Aphasia

Chapter 19

On the day Allen Walker left, Manner burned all the scores.

That person is always so determined, and never leaves himself behind in doing things.When he was a skinny little guy, he resolutely asked him, the president, to lend him his piano in order to qualify to join the music club.When the child grows into a tall and straight sapling, he understands the meaning of love for the first time, so he resolutely expresses his inner admiration to him.After the love was shattered, he left so resolutely. His back was gradually hidden in the night on the campus road lined with tall plane trees, without stopping or turning around from beginning to end.

"you're right."

The kid kept blinking his red eyes, but didn't shed a single tear, and the glittering dust floating under the streetlights enveloped him like a fog: "I think you're right, Mana."

"Everyone's most important things are different. You are the most important thing to me, and the society and Neia are the most important to you, so for the sake of the society, you want me to stay. But I can't, Mana, I do not."

Allen called his name, just like every afternoon spent in the musical instrument classroom, with a gentle and attached tone.

"You gave me the beginning of a dream. It wasn't until I had lived my life like you that I realized that there was no follow-up. I couldn't stay in this place without follow-up. I had to leave to find myself, otherwise I'd be crazy."

He spoke very seriously and clearly, making it impossible for people to pretend to be stupid.He said thank you and sorry, and then left, leaving behind the music dream they built together, leaving behind the man he was talking about love just a second ago.That person has always been straightforward and never entangled, but the last look before turning around is full of bright but soon to be ashes fireworks.

Mana has seen such fireworks. At the awards ceremony of the Manchester City concert, the Duke personally presented him with the "Best Composer" medal. When he mentioned Allen Walker in his thank you speech.

"I don't think I can find another person in this world who understands me like he does. He understands the emotion I pour into every note and interprets it - I'm just a craftsman, he is a genius. "

The genius left anyway.

The smoke from the burning score stimulated Mana's eyeballs, and he was still staring at the cluster of flames.Think about what Allen said.

Allen said that you are right, no matter how tacit understanding is, the person who can really accompany you is not me.I am not the one who walks and runs with you in the golden wheat fields of my hometown, and it is not me who hugs and comforts you alone in the corner of the city.We are just too gorgeous shadows in each other's eyes. Once the unbearable hidden behind is really exposed, we will immediately fall apart.

Mana was surprised: "Unbearable? Allen, what do you mean?"

Allen lowered his head and retreated frequently.

"So, at least let me maintain a gorgeous image in front of you." He narrowed his eyes and smiled, his smile was like the last touch of golden light before nightfall.

"You're really naive."

Link stuffed a mouthful of patient food into his mouth, even though the taste of the food served by the hospital made him sick.The patient on the bed was still slicing pea puree and cod fish soup into his mouth without realizing it. He had eaten a lot before that, and the lunch boxes on the bedside table were piled up like a hill.

"Some fried sausages, Link."

Allen held out his hand to him unceremoniously, but Link had no choice but to hand over the sausage box.

"I'm fine." Allen chewed the sausage and mumbled to perfunctory the other party, then changed the subject, "...Is the doctor here yet?"

Link flipped through the checklist, then picked up his sleeve and looked at his watch: "It should be soon."

After putting down the last lunch box, Allen put on the earphones, which played the dialogue training Kanda gave him. Although this is obviously a question-and-answer mode for young children and the accompaniment of children's songs that make people gnash his teeth, he was a little bit resistant, but when he thought of Kanda He could only obediently obey that angry face.

He answered the questions in the earphones one after another, with a lazy look.

More than half of the people living on the floor of the neurology department are old people suffering from cerebrovascular diseases, which made him feel that he has also become a slow-moving old man.For this reason, Allen had lost his temper with Link for a long time, until the latter raised his left fist and vowed that the hospital stay for this examination would not exceed three days before it calmed down.

After listening to a dozen or so sentences, he took off his earphones irritably, sat up straight and looked directly at the boring person beside the bed watching TV.

"Do me a favor."

The norepinephrine in the infusion bottle was slowly injected from the needle into the blood vessel. Although he usually took it orally on time, this drug made Allen more subconsciously sensitive at this moment.Then he heard the "gudong" sound of Link swallowing a piece of potato.

Link stretched out his thumb and rubbed his temple, "I know what you want me to do for you, but I refuse. I will find a way to do surgery, but it's not what you think. If you want to know why, I will say, I hate watching you The way I humbly beg for help from people, especially people I don't want to see."

Allen defended: "But that's..."

"It's nothing, Walker, you'd better figure it out... You should place your hopes on me, not on the woman who ruined your life. Well, do you have anything else to do? We can head to the outpatient building, It's still a while from the inpatient department, and I don't want to continue talking nonsense with you."

Allen sighed softly.

Is it mercy? It's not that simple.Link walked ahead, talking to himself in his heart.

Yes, he pitied him, but he pitied himself even more, since the day he received a call from Allen and rushed to his door.

He remembered that the little boy with good-looking silver hair was crying like never before on the phone. He said, brother Link, can you help me to intercede with my mother and let her take me away with me.

He remembered that the boy tugged at the corner of the woman's clothes, was dragged and rolled down the stairs on the second floor, his nose was bruised and his face was swollen, and he didn't dare to let go.

He remembered the woman ripping off the boy's hand and saying no in a tone of fear, looking at you will make me sleepless for the rest of my life.She also said a lot of vicious things, all curses on homosexuality.

At that time, he was only about ten years old, and he stood there timidly, not daring to look at the boy who fell on the floor, nor did he dare to stretch out a blocking arm to the woman.

Although nothing can be changed even if it is blocked, Link still cannot forgive himself.It was an unimaginable self-blame for outsiders, and it was an embarrassment that could not be told to anyone, because even the person involved had never had any negative emotions towards that woman, and as an outsider who had done nothing, he had no right to comment.

It's just that someone always bears the harm in a conflict, and now, who should pay for it?

"Hey boy, you can't go in like this!"

Before he knew it, he had arrived at the door of the MRI treatment room, and Allian, who was about to open the door swaggeringly, was being carried out by the collar by a fat doctor in a white coat.

"Alan Walker, huh?" The doctor frowned and flipped through the folder in his hand, "You have to remove everything with metal products first, and then go in with me with only your underwear on."

Allen turned to look at Link.Link didn't bother to translate, made an undressing motion, and was ready to stop the guy before he stripped himself naked.

Allen stripped himself down to a shirt and a pair of shorts, rubbing his cold arms and frowning: "Does it have to be like this?"

"No," the doctor next to him chuckled, "you can go in neatly dressed, and let the strong magnetic field inside suck away all the metal buttons and zippers on your clothes, and those gadgets will hit the instrument, if it causes The damage will be fully compensated by the patient..."

"Must." Link interrupted the long-winded fat doctor, and looked thoughtfully at the body of the boy in front of him, "I didn't pay attention to it before, but now it seems...it's really a bean sprout."

Allen kicked up with his back kicked.

Fortunately, the actual examination time was very short. Link waited outside with his clothes in his arms for less than twenty minutes, when he saw the fat doctor escort Allen out of the consultation room just now.

"Come over after two o'clock in the afternoon to get the results." The doctor hurriedly made a note, and rushed to greet the next patient.

Allen grabbed his clothes and began to wrap them around his body, when he suddenly heard something fall on the floor tiles, the crisp sound was amplified in the empty outside room of the consultation room.It was the keychain of a Peter Rabbit, who lost one of his ears and disappeared.

He picked it up and looked at it for a while, then accurately threw the keychain into the nearest trash can.

"Hey..." Link didn't have time to stop him in a daze, "Isn't this what you gave that person?"

"Not good," Allen shook his head desperately, "I also sent you, Rabbi, Rhodes, Tiqi, Mana, Miss Miranda..."

Link understood what he meant, and was a little disdainful: "In this case, why not just give him a ring."

"ring?"

"This is it." Link took out a leather strap from the neckline, and hung a delicate silver ring with a hollowed-out cross, "Do you remember?"

You should have a pair of rings.It doesn’t need to be inlaid with a large diamond, and it doesn’t need to be very expensive, just let it circle the finger that is the most symbolic possession of a man. And when you raise your hand, you feel that your lover who held this hand is standing in front of you with full of expectation and warmth.

It will shine with light, tempered with your thoughts, and tell anyone who has thoughts about you that you already belong to others.When others booed you how lucky you are, generously let them see your slightly flushed cheeks and the corners of your lips that raised unconsciously.

Unwavering love, love without fear, is all the meaning that humans have given this little ring.

"So you came back from London on an early morning train just to show me this?"

At this time, Manda has not yet fully awakened, the morning bell has not yet struck, and the pale morning light has not yet completely occupied the sky. A layer of gray twilight enveloped the entire city of Manchester, revealing a refreshing dampness.

Kanda gathered up his coat. At this time, he was still wearing his hair, his face was greasy, and he looked at the white-haired boy standing seriously downstairs in the dormitory in disbelief.

Allen held a black velvet box in his hand, with a shining silver ring embedded in it.

"Yu, can you be my wife?"

"..."

Kanda shuddered, and then the corner of his mouth began to twitch: "Who taught you this sentence?"

"Link." Allen was stunned, "I, did I say something wrong?"

"That bastard..."

Kanda gritted his teeth and stared at the ring in his hand, and couldn't help but ask, "What if I refuse?"

"Then bite off your dick the next time you have sex."

"...That guy taught this too?"

Allen nodded very seriously: "You, don't you want to."

"I'll tell you if I want to."

Kanda snatched the ring, grabbed Alian's left hand, and stroked the five fingers carefully.The hand is not big, and the skin is not very good, but the fingers are long and slender, with well-defined joints.

Before putting the ring on the middle finger of that hand, he noticed the round English letters on the inside of the ring, YuuKanda.

"This one is for you!" The plan was completely disrupted, and Allen looked very angry.

"That's it, it's good." Kanda frowned, "Okay, give me the other one, I should go to morning class."

It's not at all the same as what Link said, it's not romantic at all, it's not serious at all, it's not gentle at all!

Alian walked towards the outside of the school angrily, and his steps were full of anger, making stones and bricks crack.On the road, there began to be students and teachers rushing to the teaching building with books and breakfast bread, and it was already light.

If he had known this, Allen would never have bought some damn ring, but directly threw the Peter Rabbit keychain with the broken ear at Yu Kanda's face.

However, he was hugged firmly from behind by a pair of arms outstretched from behind after walking only 50 meters.

The person who was cursing just a second ago touched his left hand, his fingers intertwined, and the two rings lightly bumped into each other.

"Why?" Allen said still in a bad mood.

"Hey, you..." Kanda whispered in his ear, "If you get too close to that Campbell, I won't punish you."

Allen turned his head in surprise, but he didn't see each other's red ears because their heads were so close.

He wanted to try to regain his shattered dream, but at this moment, Kanda was so jealous that he was going crazy just thinking about it.

Allen laughed, turned around and cupped his face.

"Don't worry, I'm different from before."

is different.

Kanda looked into his bright eyes.

Allen Walker is so fickle. He once felt that he was like a handful of water, changing his shape arbitrarily with the opponent's palm.Ever since he was with Kanda, he has always made himself appear weak and cautious in everything, as if he was afraid of offending him.

But he was once the sun.Kanda thought.

He wanted to return all the light and warmth that had been deprived from him intentionally or unintentionally.

His pride, his tenacity, and his dreams are all returned to him.

Because Allen insisted on going back to the Lake District to look at the store, Mana had to follow.

After spending a few days in the "Windermere Fairy", he understood the reason - it was the spring when everything was recovering, and the lakes in the national park were full of vitality again, with green trees, a hundred birds, and the fragrance of young leaves and green grass As the spring breeze blows, it haunts every tourist who comes here.

The house of the "Windermere Fairy" is full every weekend, and the garden in the afternoon on weekdays is also full of tourists who are resting and drinking tea.Although Mana is helping at the front desk every day, Allen is still too busy.

It was not until night that the inn regained its tranquility.

Mana collapsed on a deck chair in the garden, holding a cup of hot milk in his arms.Allen put down his rolled-up sleeves and opened the door to come out. He saw the young man with his eyes closed and meditating at a glance. At this time, there was a shimmering moonlight reflecting on his face. His curly black hair, thin chin, and peaceful expression looked like a Greek statue. Sculpture in mythology.

Allen opened his mouth and closed it again, and finally reached out and pushed his shoulder.

"Allen? Oh...are you done?"

The confused person felt that the milk in his hand was still warm, so he took a sip.The night breeze is slightly cool, the temperature of the milk is just right, and it is very comfortable to iron the spleen and stomach.

Allen nodded and reached out to him: "Let's continue."

Mana froze for a moment, and said with a smile, "Hey, I'm not a sick and weak boy. I need someone to help me when I lie down." As soon as he finished speaking, he saw the other party smiled awkwardly. The moment he withdrew his hand, something flickered between his fingers. There was a grain of silver light.

Due to aphasia, it was very difficult for Ya Lian to read the piano score. He had to demonstrate each section and try to knock out the broken melody by relying on his memory.

There were two people squeezed shoulder to shoulder on the piano bench, and Mana could see the gentle curve of the young man's face when he turned his head slightly. The fluorescent white ceiling light in the front hall fell on the tip of his hair, which suddenly felt unreal.

How wonderful it would be if this child was still by his side now?

But the flowing clouds will cover the moonlight, and the rivers will sweep away the flowers and leaves. Although the world is very tolerant, it brought the young man back to him intact like the countless days in the piano room in the past, but the one on his finger The little silver ring was telling him that not everything can be redeemed.

Mana's world is very pure. He once thought that Allen was the same as him, that's why they have such similar interests.But it seems like, really, it's not.

Allen is a much more complicated person than him, just because he concealed everything from him, just because he couldn't bear to hurt his purity—the reason why he once fell in love with this person.

This boy is too gentle.Someone should accept the complex world behind his tenderness and walk into his past and future.It's just that it wasn't him.

Mana thought so regretfully.

The blades of grass suddenly came out of the window and were interrupted by the rustling sound of Allen's piano, and he turned around to look around.

"I gonna go see."

Mana said, patted him on the shoulder, and got up to check the window.The place far away from the hustle and bustle of the city is so quiet that even the slightest movement can be noticed.

"Nothing," he stared out the window, "probably the wind."

There was no response.

"Don't worry," he returned to the piano with a smile, "If someone comes to smash the shop again, I will protect you this time."

Allen lowered his head, and his ten fingers rested on the keys without moving.

"Hey, what's wrong with you?"

"Mana."

He pondered for a long time, and finally raised his head, his lead gray eyes were covered with two puddles of water.

"Mana, let's not do this, can we?"

-TBC.