[Shenya] Aphasia

Chapter 22

When the grid on the calendar that is not marked with a red cross starts counting down, everyone is on pins and needles.Alma hasn't said a word to Kanda for two days, and it's really uneasy for the two of them who are roommates.

When the mood is restless, even the plants and trees on the boulevard begin to become restless. Before the sun rises and the morning fog has not cleared, Kanda is already walking with his computer on the way to the ice-blue glass building of Learning Commons. Al Ma chose to go on the same road with Kanda because she had an appointment with a friend at the coffee shop opposite.Kanda still had toast in his mouth, and he couldn't help but sigh that he hadn't sat in the dining room and had a good breakfast for a long time, and at this inopportune moment, a group of black students were talking and laughing and helping each other, crooked seven They came head-on, and without any suspense, they set their eyes on the long-haired young man with sharp edges and corners in front of him.

"Guys, look at this boy! He's as beautiful as a girl!"

"I heard that he was the one who took down the representative of the medical school. I really can't believe it. Has the medical school fallen like this? A fallen nobleman, hahaha!"

Kanda frowned when he smelled the alcohol on his face.

Walking on the other side, Alma ignored Kanda's tugging and couldn't help but stepped forward: "Can you pay attention to your words? Isn't it embarrassing to say that?"

One of the students in a black T-shirt took a step to look Alma up and down, then noticed his paint-stained trouser legs.

"Are you from the art department? I'm so curious," he pretended to be surprised. "I heard from my friends that all of you posted photos of Benedict Cumberbatch on the walls of your dormitory, not the Mona Lisa." , Is this true?" After he said this, the companion behind him burst into laughter.

Alma glanced at the textbooks in their pockets, and smiled too, but the smile was a little creepy: "Tell your friends that he is wrong. Not all art students admire Benedict Cumberbatch , Many of them love the Mona Lisa more. By the way, not all MBS students are elites with both ability and political integrity, and there are quite a few scum among them.”

The man in the black T-shirt made a gesture to move forward, and Alma stared back at him with her chest puffed out, not to be outdone, although Kanda felt that he was extremely nervous at the moment.

He pulled away his companion with a flushed neck and walked in front of the man.Although Kanda was a little thinner than them in terms of stature, he was still able to look them in the eyes imposingly by virtue of his height.

Kanda said indifferently to the group: "MBS students? The college that claims that they will be expelled if they don't get A-level? If so, please at least act like an elite, instead of using those boring tricks to escape. You have low self-esteem."

At present, the man suddenly arched his back like a feline encountering an enemy, swearing, and pressed forward step by step: "You are just a fucking representative of the medical school! You are studying dentistry, huh? Or stomatology?"

Kanda raised his eyebrows: "You don't need to know what I study. My friend said that even MBS produces scum, which has nothing to do with majors."

Alma was caught off guard by being called by name, and pouted at the other party in a high-spirited manner from behind.

Kanda lowered his head and looked at his watch: "It's time for me to go to LC, I hope you will come and sit often... so that you can realize how stupid your provocation is."

The black boy who was hit in the pain was speechless for a moment.After walking away, Alma was also so excited: "Xiaoyou, what you said is really wonderful! I'm so glad that I am your friend and not your enemy!"

Kanda squinted at him: "There will be no next time."

"what?"

"I said there will be another time, and I will not care about you in response to this kind of boring provocation."

Alma stared dumbfounded at her friend stepping into the gate of LC, and suddenly cried out in surprise after a long time.

"Xiaoyou, you are such a gentle person!"

"I'm willing to starve, I'm willing to be bruised, I'm willing to crawl down the street, no, I'm willing to do anything to make you feel my love..."

A white-haired teenager in another city wears headphones and closes his eyes. The 3D surround sound in the headphones is playing Adele's 2011 concert at the Royal Albert Hall.This position lasted less than 2 minutes, the pillow in his arms was taken away, and a clear female voice sounded above his head: "Alian, it's still cold, you can't sleep like this."

Allen rubbed his sleepy eyes that were about to overflow with tears: "Just for a while."

"No, he slept until ten o'clock in the morning." Mana said to Wahua, who was hesitant by Allen's deer-like eyes, on the other sofa.

The lounge of the Royal Albert Hall was noisy. The old man of the band conductor was holding his mobile phone and shouting at the make-up artist who was stuck in traffic. The violinist was tuning the strings, making some unclear and harsh tones.The sound of rehearsal music from the concert hall penetrated the thick soundproof walls and roared throughout the lounge.Allen was suggested by his teammates to go for a walk to refresh himself, and order coffee and breakfast for them by the way.

"Alian, I'll go with you." Wahua called to his leaving back, her voice was unusually abrupt in the empty corridor.

Allen smiled and shook his head: "The coffee shop is just across the street, I won't get lost."

Watching his figure disappear at the gate, Wa Hua anxiously returned to the lounge, her ten fingers intertwined.

"You're worried, aren't you? Worried that he won't be able to wait for surgery now." Mana asked, flipping through the program schedule in his hand.

"He has become lethargic now, and his condition is very unstable." Wax Flower whispered.

"Ok, I know."

"Then you still rest assured to let him participate in such a large-scale event that requires energy and physical strength?"

"Yes, I regret it," Marner said, "but it's useless. The show has been out of my hands and has become his own wish. Do you know what I mean? What he insists on now is he doesn't Me, what he wants to prove, not me."

Wahua pursed her lips and looked at him, hesitated to speak.It wasn't until the other party signaled with his eyes that she would speak up if she had something to say, that she sighed, "Mr. Campbell, you really don't love him."

Mana closed his eyes and shook his head: "No one can love him."

"No, you are wrong. The love he needs is simpler than ordinary people, but more." Wax Flower smiled, and her voice seemed to sink into the deep sea, "You are too smart. He needs a fool."

Allen stepped out of the door, and a gust of wind swept the moisture from the leaves, pouring into his collar.He gathered his coat together.

"Is it going to rain again?" He frowned and looked at the sky, muttering to himself, "And he said that we will have dinner in Hyde Park after the end."

"It doesn't matter if it rains~"

Two tall men stepped out from behind a black RV on the street, and Allen gasped when he realized where he had seen them.

The rear window slowly fell, revealing the face of a girl with short hair and dark makeup.The girl bit a lollipop that was half the size of her face, and said with a smile to the surprised boy outside the door.

"I'll let them take you home after the date is over, Allen."

It's a good thing you don't love him.Wax Flower closed her eyes and whispered to herself in her heart.

Kanda stared at the computer screen distracted.The lights in the reference room were not turned on, and the clear natural light shone in comfortably through the window glass that was wiped empty.There are many oriental faces here, and there are students studying hard on the left and right. Some people even piled up mountains of books in this location of Kanda.

Gentle people... eh?

No, Wenrou is Allen, or Li Nali, maybe even a rabbi, but it is absolutely impossible to be him Kanda Yu.

But why do you deny it?Do you have to deny it?

You have become tender from the moment you start melting yourself into your surroundings.The soul of that maverick Kanda Yu, who disdained to reach out to the people around him, had been strangled by him unconsciously.

You've already started...trying to embrace the world.

Kanda spread out the crumpled speech on the table. He had already reworked this manuscript countless times, and the last time he handed it to Tiedore for review and finalization.He made himself a cup of instant coffee, and coded the revised parts of the manuscript in red pen into the document.

There is a red leaflet folded next to the computer, which was obtained by the Linktors. The golden round font RoyalAlbertHall on the top alone is enough to attract attention. The participants are twenty folk music groups from major cities in England. , the organizer Kanda has never heard of it, but just judging from the fact that they actually borrowed the venue there on the eve of the preparation for the annual Proms at the Royal Albert Hall, they must have a good foundation.

Unfortunately, Kanda could only watch the show afterwards on television.

Until the sky was getting brighter, he was still regretting the second before he entered the auditorium in a suit and leather shoes.The auditorium is well lit, the projection screen is wide and clear, and the audience is orderly. The first three rows are full of professors from the five schools sitting upright.

The whole morning was the launching ceremony of the speeches of the Federation of Five Schools. In addition to the drowsy leader cutscene, of course, there were also speeches by masters from various academic circles.Kanda was soaked in the light, and didn't feel nervous, because the pinnae couldn't receive any sound that could prove the flow of time.After greeting the scholars and guests one by one, he returned to his seat and looked through the materials in his hand, organizing the expressions and gestures that should accompany each sentence in his mind.But it didn't go well, his brain was a mess, and it was not easy to filter useful information out of it, so he became irritable.

"Come with me to the living room." Tiedore came over and patted Kanda on the shoulder.

"Why?" Displeasure was written on the face of the person who was interrupted to browse through the materials.

"Mr. Belfast wants to see you. Oh, the tutor I mentioned earlier."

"Are you going backstage?" Kanda raised his eyebrows.

"Fart! The old man has already talked with several students, and it may not be your turn to go backstage." Tiedore was so angry that he blew his mustache, "You are distracted, Kanda, what are you worried about? ?”

"I do not have."

"Then come with me, anyway, there is still some time before you take the stage." The old professor habitually reached out to rub his lover's hair, and was slapped hard by the other party.

Opening his eyes in a daze, Allen only saw a ceiling close at hand—no, it turned out to be a suede car roof.He recognized the car by the color of the curtains, Tiki's oversized Bentley, but he shouldn't be here at this very moment unless time and space are warped.He wanted to move, but found that his hands were tightly cuffed behind his back.

The purple-haired girl bit the lollipop and turned over from the front row: "Stop looking around, I invited you here, play with me tonight? I haven't seen you for a long time."

Allen didn't answer her: "Rhod, what time is it?"

"Two past ten, the show is about to start." Rhodes looked very happy, and leaned forward to grab his dark green bow tie, "I know you will ask, I did it on purpose. Don't go to that kind of noisy and tacky place gone."

However, she failed to provoke the person in front of her. I don't know if she didn't understand or she was really noncommittal. Allen was very calm.

"Let me perform and accompany you after the show, okay?"

"What if I say no?"

"Where is Tiqi? Where is it?" Allen asked suddenly.

"He's not here, I asked the driver to drive." Rhodes was still absent-mindedly licking the lollipop, "Don't ask Tiki. I'm here to apologize to you, why did I bring him here."

"apologize?"

"The group of people who smashed the hotel was called by me," Rhodes said in an understatement tone, pointing to the two men who were driving in the front seat and sitting in the passenger seat, "in order to drive you out of that ghost place." .”

"But I miscalculated and didn't expect to hurt you by mistake... so I apologize and treat you to dinner and a movie - I ordered the latest lamb chops in my private dining room in Millwall, what do you think? "

Allen froze, his eyes finally burst into flames, but it was more like surprise, but unexpectedly, there was not much anger.He shouldn't have been so calm. That accident almost pushed him into hell and baptized him once. It was Kanda Yu's persistence that allowed him to crawl out with the pain of his soul being tortured and his heart being torn apart.

But now, the little girl who was the instigator wanted to pay for the pain with just one date.

But why can't you be angry at all?

Rhodes noticed his absence, supported himself to crawl along the leather sofa, and stared at his clear gray eyes.This may sound contradictory, but the lead-colored pupils of the young man are really clear, unadulterated and clear.

"I have said countless times, I like you, and I want you to be mine. If you don't want to, I have to do so."

Allen shrugged his arms. The posture with his hands cuffed behind his back made him very uncomfortable, but he remained calm.

"Did you hear that? The city."

He stared at the short-haired girl lying in front of him against the backlight.Behind her thin body, outside the clear car window behind the curtains, the smoky traffic is like a time-lapse photography that stays on the retina.He stared and smiled slowly: "It's breathing."

"Look how beautiful it is. In spite of all my suffering, I still love it."

Rhodes blinked.

"Do you remember? I told Tiki a long time ago...you overheard..."

"—life is not the days we live, but the days we remember, the days we reproduce in memory to tell..."

Allen poured himself a small glass of ice blue iris, and said drowsily.Tiqi watched intently from the side, waiting for the next sentence.

"That's not like a teenager coming out of a broken home and a failed love."

"It's not like it? I don't think it's like it either." Allen was lying on the bar, with one eye buried in his arm, and the other eye was looking at the man next to him from a [-]-degree angle of view, with a teasing look He giggled, "Because I didn't say that in the first place."

"I will forget about them, ignore them all, and let them disappear from my life completely. Tiqi, do you believe me?"

"Do you trust me?"

The young man stared straight at his palm with hazy drunken eyes, and the hand with slender knuckles curved shallowly, supporting all the gloom in his life: "Life is so short, and incompleteness is the least worthy of being remembered." I can't spend my life in those things, they are a part of me - the part that should be buried with my own hands. So, if I want to write an autobiography, like Marquez... it must be a Happy, happy story."

When Tiqi carried the unconscious white-haired boy out of the bar, he glanced down at the girl who was squatting behind the door and eavesdropping.

"He knows you're here."

Rhodes tilted his head: "You mean, he's talking to me, isn't he Tiki?"

"Oh? I didn't say that," Tiqi said with a playful expression, "but, of course. People who say 'face up to the incomplete' are not saints, but they must all be weird," he shrugged Allen up, "Isn't this the guy?"

Rhodes lowered his head and smiled, drawing circles on the ground with his toes.

"But you can't convince me, I also like his incompleteness."

Tiqi said coldly: "Oh, what about your own disability?"

Rhodes looked up suddenly: "You want me to give you up, don't you?"

Allen nodded: "Giving up is not something to be ashamed of."

"Why do you come to say this to me? You have everything, even that Japanese is dead set on you."

"But I don't have Mana." Allen smiled wryly.

What he meant couldn't be clearer.

That was the price he paid for his risky life.If there is no Yu Kanda, he will always struggle with the price and suffer forever.Therefore, you have to give up something, no matter how proud you are, you have to admit that some people and things do not belong to you by nature, and you have to throw them away like throwing away a Coke can, so that you can move on with your head held high.

The person she likes has shed all the cuticles of his youthful nature, and he has formed a truly mature and upright image.She was already far away from him, and if she continued to entangle her... Rhodes suddenly realized that she would lose him even more.

The girl bit her lip and shrunk herself into a small ball.

"I said I liked you."

"I know." Allen smiled, "I've always known, so thank you, and I'm sorry."

I finally understand why I can't be angry.

I'm the one who should apologize.

"But you're too late," Rhodes threw away the candy and held his chin thoughtfully. "The show is less than half an hour away, and where are we now? I think we're out of town?"

"Miss, we have just passed the Tower of London," replied the driver.

Allen didn't speak, but his eyes dimmed when he heard this landmark.

"Drive back." Rhode stared into Allen's eyes and gave an order, "I'll give you 15 minutes, you have to take him back."

"I have always regarded biomedical engineering as a great marginal subject, because its research object is the greatest reserve force in the progress of human medicine," said the light of the auditorium podium, illuminating old professor Tiedore's curly hair , he speaks slowly but unambiguously, "I hope my students are part of this great boost. In fact, each of them is excellent and has never let me down."

"I have to thank them for being so respectful of me, willing to listen to me, and being ordered around by me without complaint. As you can see, I am a poor old man, and I don't have many rewards for them. The knowledge in my head is the only A worthy return."

"I want you to evaluate the evaluations, my rewards that my students show you, whether they are worth enough."

Kanda raised his head, and the old professor on the stage turned to him, smiled and made an invitation gesture.

Rubbing his palm covered with a thin layer of sweat, he took a step towards the podium.

When they re-arrived at the gate of the Albert Concert Hall, the sound of magnificent music could be faintly heard.Allen hurriedly wiped his face, and his hands were covered with a cloudy liquid mixed with sweat and foundation.

He felt the clear wind whistling past his ears, and now he was standing in front of the gate of the city's most proud music hall, looking up at those exquisite large round sculptures, Prince Albert in the golden spire monument.Breathing heavily, trembling all over.

The performance of the previous team in the hall is coming to an end. In the lounge, there are only wax flower and makeup artist with sad faces, and Miranda who is holding the cello in the corner, and the three of them saw the white-haired boy stumbling into the door. Screamed for a moment.

"They said that even if Allen is missing, we still have to go, and ordered me to go to the backstage to stand by immediately, but I'm worried that you can't find anyone in the lounge..." Miranda cried, "I thought I was going to screw up again —you know I always do stupid things...but I won't be on this show if you're not there, and I'd rather screw it up."

Alian was taken aside by the makeup artist to make fans, so he could only apologize hastily.

Everyone in the orchestra was waiting in the backstage, probably because the backstage light was too dim, or they were all holding their hearts in their throats. When Allen was pushed into the crowd, no one was in an uproar.

The previous orchestra had already saluted and was about to leave. Allen rubbed his sore wrists. Looking back, he saw the thick velvet curtain separating the front and back stage being pulled back by the staff or someone. The bright lights and the flowing golden wall hangings appear vividly in front of you.He narrowed his eyes as if not used to the strong light.

"Alian, don't be nervous." Someone behind him patted him on the shoulder.

"If something doesn't feel right, tell us now."

"Alian, you are the only one with your back to the conductor, you must play as you want, we will cooperate with you, ignore him." Some people joked carelessly, even though the rehearsal atmosphere is always serious Yes, but this moment has become the most relaxed moment for this group of people.Allen turned his head and said with a smile, "Thank you, let's all work hard."

"Do you remember?"

Mana's voice sounded faintly behind him.As soon as the voice fell, all the surrounding voices fell silent.

"Memories?" Allen chewed the word silently, his eyes blurred in a blink of an eye.

You are standing where musicians from all over the world have stopped or are still yearning for.

Herbie Hancock and Yanni, OASIS and the Beatles, they stand here too, listening to the music with eyes wide open and full of joy like you.The glory of the Grammy Awards has not yet dissipated.The next time will be when you are closest to them.

You'll rightly correct me, say I shouldn't have compared you with the real giants, that you're not even close.However, at this moment, your back is dark and messy, but your front is full of light.

Those were the words Mana had said to him,

Allen, do you feel what the world expects of you?Do your fingertips ache from burning?For you are touching, their fiery glory.

The young man subconsciously touched the ring on the root of his finger, his eyes filled with tears.

Kanda smiled self-deprecatingly and cleared his throat.

"Before I get into the topic, I would like to thank the University of Manchester for its generous funding and good learning environment, as well as the great support of my family."

He paused for five seconds, and some of the audience looked impatient with the bureaucracy.

"They save me from having to work part-time in a coffee shop to subsidize my studies and my limited study abroad life, and leave time for rich life experiences outside of my major. The topic of the speech I am giving is related to my personal experience .My important... person with dangerous aftereffects from a traumatic brain injury. There's nothing I can do about it, but at least I should be doing something about it. Because science never ends..."

Kanda turned the next page, and a tidy title popped up on the projection screen—New Uses of Magnetic Resonance Imaging for Traumatic Brain Injury.

Looking around at the students and professors under the stage, he suddenly thought without thinking, this is the first time he has spoken so much after studying in the UK, and a large part of the few words was wasted in boring quarrels middle.Suddenly, the first night of arriving in England appeared in his mind, the rain and mist were empty, and the distance was confusing.

At that time, Kanda Yu was so ignorant when holding the balance, but now Kanda Yu secretly pressed his left thumb against the silver ring on his middle finger, and his mind was clear.

"... so is life."

-TBC.