Dawn Redemption

Chapter 89 XV. Courtyard of the Seifert Mansion

"Application: Secondary SS Assault Squadron Commander Fern Yanik transferred to the SS Ministry of State Security"

It looked very long, but Finn knew every word, and even when combined, he could tell what it meant at a glance.But he just stood there firmly, holding the envelope tightly with sweaty palms, as if trying to find another meaning expressed in this sentence from between the lines.

He couldn't be more familiar with this handwriting.He once wanted to watch him write all his life, to see the smooth ink marks appearing like flowing water under the nib of the pen in his hand.But now, he just didn't want to see that handwriting.

Finn's pale blue eyes seemed to be frozen by the surface of frozen water, until his madly beating heart forced him to suffocate.

He didn't say a word, and he didn't seem to hear Florian's call. He took the letter and turned around and opened the door and walked into the house. A person stays in the courtyard at a loss.

Through the porch, through the living room.This house has never been so cold, even the day he first came here, it made him feel hopeless, as if the whole house was filled with water, drowning him bit by bit.

Noah has been planning, has been hiding from him, is this thing?To transfer him away?

From Poland to Berlin, these two familiar places, this familiar distance, he remembered how many times he had heard Jonas complain in the dormitory, using all rhetorical techniques whether exaggerated or not.It's just that he never thought it would happen to him.

At this moment, Finn only felt that no matter how far the distance was, it could not compare to the unreachable feeling between them, or more precisely, it was his unilateral feeling of unreachability.

But why?He didn't believe that there would be no reason for Noah to do this, so even if the unspeakable bitterness was flowing like magma from a volcano, he tried his best to restrain himself, and took the letter to explain it to Noah face to face.

He still remembered to knock on the door to enter the office, but the moment Noah said "Come in" or before that, he twisted the doorknob and pushed the door and walked in.

It stands to reason that Finn should be working in the camp at this time, and Finn would never violate discipline and appear where he should not be, so Noah was also very surprised to see him come back.But after seeing his expression clearly, he immediately understood.

Finn walked to the desk, and instead of slamming the envelope on the table as he expected, he just put it on the table and pushed it in front of Noah with his fingertips.

"I bumped into Florian." Finn said softly, "I saw it."

Noah didn't answer, and Finn understood that according to his personality, he shouldn't be thinking about defending himself. "Are you thinking, let Florian send it while I'm not here?" Finn tried hard to endure, he knew that it was useless to be anxious, let alone shouting, and only with such a calm attitude could he send the message. Make things clear.But even so, the words still caused a dry and sore throat for a while: "Then wait until the day when there is a result and tell me directly? Whether I agree or not, whether I want to or not, there is no choice, is there?"

He had known Noah's answer for a long time, but it was unrealistic, and he would have a little bit of expectation for the opposite answer.But Noah was silent for a long time, and what he said was still: "Yes."

"Why?..." Finn said, "Is this... driving me away?"

The moment he saw Noah nodding, Finn seemed to feel that something in his chest made a small sound and shattered gently.

His heart is just a thin shell filled with acid, which will corrode all internal organs once it is gushed out.

"Fin." Noah called calmly. Seeing that the person in front of him didn't respond, he called out again patiently, "Fin? Can you listen to me? Do you want to hear my explanation now? ?”

Fein really didn't know whether he could listen or not, but he still nodded.During this period of time, there were too many things he didn't know, and there were too many things he wanted to know.He lowered his head and tried to take some deep breaths, preparing to listen to what Noah said next.

He heard a sigh, and then Noah's unusually calm and calm voice sounded in front of him.

"I don't know where to start. I know you are feeling uncomfortable now. Don't you want to know what Beckman and I said when we went to Dachau? Then I will tell you now.

"I don't know if you usually pay attention to the situation on the front line. Since the end of the Stalingrad battle, the Soviet army has started a large-scale counterattack. We and the nine allied armies have all been defeated. Now they are starting to recover The area that was captured by us before, they regained Rostov-on-Don, and we were almost completely defeated. Even if Marshal von Manstein's counterattack succeeded, I don't think we can continue to hold on!

"Do you know what this means?" Noah's tone became fierce. Finn looked at his furrowed brows and knew that he must have suffered a lot in his heart when he said it. After all, this is his most loyal friend. Faith, "Such speeches are banned, but we have no brains, can't we think? At most, we can survive until the next battle, if we fail."

Noah stopped, as if unable to continue, he closed his eyes and sighed with difficulty.

"We, there is no possibility of victory." Noah said this briefly.

"Hmm." Finn knew he was suffering, and he understood how important this country was to Noah's heart, but for the first time he wanted to be selfish and didn't try to comfort him, "I want to know what Mr. Beckman said to you."

"Have you thought about what will happen next? That person is not allowed, and will never allow us to surrender. Except for dying in the end, we may only be captured by the enemy country. For those of us who do these things..." Noah said , "There is only one dead end."

Fein didn't answer immediately this time. He thought about his end, but he didn't think it would come so fast, almost imminent.

"That's what Beckman told me." Noah didn't look at Finn either, his eyes didn't know which document on the table, and he tapped his fingers on the table, "He also said, now He didn’t tell me their names, but I probably know some of them. If you defect at this juncture, you will definitely not be punished so severely, and you may get good treatment.”

"Then you..." "I refuse."

Finn felt that there was no need to ask. He seemed to have underestimated how much he knew about this man.

"When I first joined here, I made all the plans. I have even been on the battlefield, and I am not afraid of the tragic scene of bullets and bullets. So what if I die for the motherland. The army is not a place where you can just live. It's my duty." Noah opened the drawer, and Finn almost saw a pack of cigarettes, but Noah just took a look and closed the drawer again.He turned his head slowly, and this time looked at Fein's light blue eyes without hesitation. His eyes turned out to be something Fein had never seen before. They were helpless and sad.

Once the same memory was triggered, it was instantly awakened. He suddenly remembered that when he had dinner with Noah in Augsburg that day, it was obviously such a romantic atmosphere, sweeter than rich brown sugar, but Noah showed such an expression .

Finn finally understood that the look in his eyes at that time was not as if he was afraid that he would leave, but that he already knew that he would leave eventually, so he wanted to take a few more glances at himself in the limited time.With these limited glances, I deeply engraved my figure from the pupils in my heart.

But I was completely kept in the dark at that time, I raised my head while eating, just saw Noah's eyes, swallowed what was in my mouth and said, "Don't look at me, eat quickly."

"Little guy..." Fein's thoughts were recalled by Noah's voice. Noah held his hand, rubbed his thumb lightly, and whispered, "I don't want you to have something to do."

Fein didn't take away the hand he was holding, but just stretched it out stiffly: "But you never asked my opinion, and I don't want anything to happen to you." He tried too hard to restrain himself, and said The words he spoke were too calm, as cold and emotionless as he seemed at first.

"No, that's not the case." Nuo Yaya was eager to explain, and he stumbled for the first time, "You are still young, not like me. I found a vacant position in the security department a few days ago, and I have already discussed it. Just write a letter You will definitely be able to apply. That position is already full of clerical work, so it is not considered idle, but there will be no responsibilities."

Finn said softly: "I don't want to go, I'd rather stay here with you."

"Tell me honestly, are you willing to work in such a place forever? Are you willing to do such a job?" Noah's voice became obviously louder, and there was a little anger in his tone, "Are you willing to be the same as before?" , hands covered with the blood of innocent civilians, looking at those murderers doing dirty deeds openly, knowing that the above racial policies are all fucking rubbish, and still pretending to be holding treasures to carry out conscientiously?"

"It's what you said, it's all for survival." Finn stared down at the hand he was holding, and those knuckles that were trembling fingers, "Even if we don't do it, someone else will do it .”

"That's different! Berlin's security is stricter than here, and judging from the current situation, it's far safer than here! And in case... to that extent, you won't be punished too severely!"

"In your eyes, is this the kind of person I am?" Fein lowered his eyelashes and looked at Noah, and said clearly, "A person who is so greedy for life and afraid of death, and would rather leave you alone to live?"

He knew that such words were irritating Noah, but he didn't want to control.Perhaps if he held back what he wanted to say at this moment, he would never have the chance to say it to him again.So when he saw Noah standing up suddenly, he was not a little surprised, but was hugged by Noah in his arms the next second.

"Little guy, my little guy..." Fein couldn't see Noah's expression, but his words were so clearly in his ears, "No matter what you are, you will always be the best in my heart Yes, no one can compare."

Finn didn't answer, he buried his face on Noah's shoulder, listening intently to his rapid breathing rate.

"In my eyes, your life is more important than my life and everything about me. You can pay any price for it, any price." "Even if we have to separate?"

Noah was silent for a while: "...Even if we have to separate."