mousepad-d2 Chapter 102 Inferiority and Confidence
Chapter 102 Inferiority and Confidence
Qi Jiu sent porridge to Duan Xiaoyu because he looked dirty and hungry.
I sent him my favorite umbrella, because the sky was overcast and it was going to rain.
I sent him a limited edition Bumblebee, the package was opened, and 1 yuan was stuffed inside, because his brother needed it.
Duan Xiaoyu looked very impatient and hostile, and he didn't even say thank you when Qi Jiu handed him something.
But Qi Jiu actually saw him outside the window the next day.
On the third and fourth days, the other party stayed in place every time, dressed appropriately, stood upright, and stood next to the trash can for a whole day.
He doesn't like to look up, and his eyes always hang down thirty degrees to the ground, facing the toes, as if counting the ants passing by on the ground.
Sometimes when it rains, I hold Qi Jiu's bright yellow umbrella.
Qi Jiu didn't know who he was waiting for, but before leaving on the fifth day, he went over to say hello tentatively.
Unexpectedly, when the other party saw him, he became vigilant again, his eyes lingered on him, and then he buried his head on the ground, as if he was going to the ground humbly.
Qi Jiu remembered that it was also a rainy day.
The water vapor was mixed with the smell of the soil, Duan Xiaoyu held the umbrella, reluctant to put it on the trash can, unwilling to put it in the soil, so he went around and handed it back to Qi Jiu's hand.
Then he knelt down and kowtowed to Qi Jiulian a few times.
bang bang.
The splash of water soaked Qi Jiu's trousers.
Qi Jiu had seen this kind of battle before, and helped him up in a panic.
The delicate umbrella fell to the ground and was still stained.
Duan Xiaoyu's forehead and hair were all wet by the muddy water, and his whole body was soaked, embarrassed and dirty.
He choked up and said, if his brother is going to die, can he help him.
He also said that there is no way to repay a great kindness, but Qi Jiu is willing. In this life and the next life, he and his younger brother will come to him as cows and horses.
That's not necessary, Qi Jiu said, but in the end he couldn't resist his soft heart, and told him:
"If you need it, you can come to me as an assistant. I'll try to talk to Brother Xiaoxiao. I just happen to be short of an assistant."
So he tried his best to persuade Yang Xiao, who was strongly refuted, to bring Duan Xiaoyu into his team regardless of the rumors.
At first, they got along very well. Duan Xiaoyu is an assistant with excellent professional qualities. He has long been able to find his position in the high-pressure environment, and can easily take care of Qi Jiu in every aspect.
In addition, Qi Jiu is much better than his last artist, he won't criticize, lose his temper, and won't suddenly scold him.
The most outrageous thing he ever did to Duan Xiaoyu was to ask him why he must stay in the entertainment circle to work.
Duan Xiaoyu also answered directly, saying that because there are many idiots with a lot of money here, it is easier to make money than other places.
Qi Jiu laughed.
Because he is one of the idiots who are stupid and don't have a lot of money, and he is carrying big bags and small bags, ready to see his sick brother.
On a certain afternoon in late autumn, Qi Jiu went to the hospital with him.
The younger brother is not recovering well, but he is full of energy, his hair has fallen out, he is wearing a wool cap, and he is squawking and playing with the bumblebee that Qi Jiu gave him before.
Qi Jiu also brought a new Megatron that time, and he was beaten very cooperatively, and he was also playing with some childish sound effects.
Duan Xiaoyu leaned against the door of the ward and watched them play, with a smile on his lips, feeling that every inch of his bare skin was revealing joy.
very nice.
He can't help thinking about it.
I'm very happy.
Sometimes Duan Xiaoyu would feel that it was a perfectly normal thing for him to like Qi Jiu.
He didn't have too many faults, but under the baby bird effect, he was very inclined to those who helped him, and Qi Jiu was too warm, like a little sun, he was easily moved.
Sometimes Duan Xiaoyu will be very sober and understand that he is not Qi Jiu's partiality. Qi Jiu is very kind to everyone, considerate and gentle.
But soon the vile desire to win will come to his head again and tamper with his thoughts.
He would think that he must be a more special one, and Qi Jiu is not a Bodhisattva, so he would not give others 1 yuan easily, would not give others a job opportunity casually, and would not be resolute I want to see someone else's terminally ill brother.
He must have more thoughts about me and regard me as important, so he does these things.
Thinking of this, Duan Xiaoyu felt inferior and confident.
While he still regards Qi Jiu as his salvation, at the same time he regards himself as a special case of Qi Jiu.
In his eyes, I must be special.
Duan Xiaoyu started wishful thinking like this, fantasizing about the future without any basis.
He thought that his younger brother would definitely be cured, and Qi Jiu would be liked by more people if he was so good.
But he didn't care, he chose to give in silently, and stayed by Qi Jiu's side all the time, so that when Qi Jiu turned around, the first thing he saw was himself.
At that time, Qi Jiu will be moved, will see who is the one who truly loves him in the impetuous entertainment circle, and will be content with himself with him.
...Duan Xiaoyu made a mistake.
He was wrong from the root cause, Qi Jiu never looked back.
Qi Jiu has been rushing forward, not knowing where he is heading, but he is working very hard. He is not an actor but he has been taking acting classes. He has never chased stars, but he always likes to use a trumpet to brush up on an actor. information.
Duan Xiaoyu knew this actor. He had a big incident two years ago, and then fled abroad to develop. Recently, he has a tendency to return to China.
Based on the principle of establishing a friendly topic with Qi Jiu, he took the initiative to praise Yan Shiqing in the photo.
They were all the same compliments, good-looking, good acting, etc., but Qi Jiu was obviously happy.
He obviously looked very happy, but Duan Xiaoyu was keenly aware that there was a trace of disappointment in his smile, but he still insisted on being happy and continued: "Praise a little more."
Duan Xiaoyu suddenly felt very uncomfortable.
And when he noticed this, Yan Shiqing's presence suddenly increased.
He found that Qi Jiu would actually check Yan Shiqing's news very often. He had a trumpet, and used Yan Shiqing's avatar to repost Yan Shiqing's latest updates.
Duan Xiaoyu didn't understand, he didn't know whether Qi Jiu simply liked this one, or if this person had special meaning to him.
But he couldn't find it. The Internet was completely clean, and there was no content that put the two terms "Yan Shiqing" and "Qi Jiu" together.
So Duan Xiaoyu became nervous.
He was worried that Qi Jiu really liked Yan Shiqing, and if he had a different feeling for Yan Shiqing, he would be completely inferior.
Because Yan Shiqing is taller than him, handsomer than him, and has an appearance and ability far superior to him——
Most importantly, Yan Shiqing is an Alpha.
It was an alpha, Qi Jiu likes alphas, he will never be an alpha, he lost from birth.
It's not that Duan Xiaoyu didn't think about implanting glands in the past, but the operation cost of implanting glands is too high, the success rate is too low, and he has a younger brother, so he can't afford to gamble.
So he could only grit his teeth and follow Qi Jiu with sour affection.
Seeing that he is still kind to others, still full of longing for Yan Shiqing, and still impossible to belong to himself.
Duan Xiaoyu really realized that he was a clown when he went to pick up Qi Jiu for an acting class one day.
Yang Xiao had something to do that day, so he had to entrust Duan Xiaoyu to pick up Qi Jiu.
Duan Xiaoyu was full of excitement, holding a bouquet of flowers. When he came back to Qi Jiu's house for the first time, he was apprehensive and presumptuous, looking around with his eyes.
He greedily observed every space of Qi Jiu, trying to find all signs that could prove that this person lived alone and single, but his eyes fell on the photo frame in the corner of the sofa in the first moment.
He shouldn't have looked at it, but he couldn't help it, the picture caught his eye like a whirlpool.
Those were Qi Jiu and Yan Shiqing, they were much more immature than now, but they could still distinguish their faces clearly.
Both of them are decorated with Mickey Mouse. They are a little shy and awkward when they look at the camera, but the affection in their eyes can be easily discerned.
Duan Xiaoyu suddenly understood.
Qi Jiu was pretending to be a flower at the side, and when he noticed his gaze, he froze, and then hurried to put the photo frame away.
He smiled and apologized: "I'm sorry, it's been raining a lot these past few nights, so I... took it over to have a look, pretend you didn't see it."
There is absolutely no logic in this statement. Where does "bring it over" mean from?What does it have to do with rain?Why is it on the sofa?
Duan Xiaoyu couldn't think at all, and he started to face the ground in an exaggerated posture, his neck seemed to be broken, his pupils were shaking violently, and he was already on the verge of dementia.
He was ashamed and angry, recalling that he was still whimsical, thinking that his silent efforts would eventually pay off, and he could stand beside Qi Jiu logically.
His face was flushed, and he suddenly raised his hand and slapped himself twice, trying to get rid of this ridiculous thought.
He has never been able to stand in that position, he has no qualifications and no reason, he will never be such a brilliant person.
——It is even impossible for him to walk into Qi Jiu at the root.
In Duan Xiaoyu's name there are things that Qi Jiu doesn't like, he has no money or power, he was not even possible from the moment he was born, he is a beta.
Qi Jiu was frightened by him, and hurriedly grabbed his hand to stop him, but Duan Xiaoyu took advantage of her strength, and was pulled into the opponent's arms, and her lips were sealed in astonishment.
Duan Xiaoyu didn't even dare to come here, he felt unworthy even here.
On impulse, he just rubbed the corner of Qi Jiu's mouth.
But Qi Jiu was still very angry, his complexion was pale, and there was only shock in his eyes, as if he hadn't expected Duan Xiaoyu to have such thoughts about him at all.
Then Qi Jiu raised the vase angrily, as if to smash him.
The clear water sprinkled all over the ground, also extinguishing some of Duan Xiaoyu's delusions.
His wishful thinking and unrequited love ended here.
With a wry smile, he told Qi Jiu:
"Don't be nice to me again."
So Qi Jiu suddenly vented his strength.
The vase didn't land on the man, fell from his weak hands, and hit the corner of the table, a slanted opening was smashed at the mouth of the bottle.
Qi Jiu had no time to worry about it, he didn't even know what happened, what happened, how things came to be like this.
His heart was in a mess, his stomach seemed to be clenched, his vomiting became more and more intense, and his ears were buzzing.
His legs were trembling, he couldn't stand up more and more, and finally slumped on the ground.
He looked at Duan Xiaoyu smiling hard, he was obviously not talking, but Qi Jiu was repeating his voice in his mind.
——Don't be nice to me again.
It was like some kind of spell, pulling Qi Jiu back to his high school days, and a person who already existed in the corner of his memory poked his head out viciously at this moment.
Exactly, exactly the same content.
Nearly ten years ago, Yang Guang said almost exactly the same thing to Qi Jiu.
The classmates he had helped with all his heart begged him not to treat him well again.
The assistant he had worked so hard to support was also begging him, please don't do this again.
why?
Qi Jiu's eyelashes trembled slightly, his heart fluctuated, and he thought in confusion:
What part am I doing wrong?
He raised his head in doubt, confused and at a loss, like a child who has made a mistake.
He is eager to get an answer, wants to get an answer from Duan Xiaoyu, and wants to ask from the bottom of his heart, can you tell him what is wrong.
But the other party was even more downcast than him. He looked at the ground for a long time, then ignored Qi Jiu and walked away tremblingly.
Duan Xiaoyu was disqualified as an assistant that day and failed to send Qi Jiu to the acting teacher.
After that, he got out of control, became more and more presumptuous, left his job without authorization, and was looking for a job elsewhere before the contract expired.
However, he had a bad reputation in the circle, and there always seemed to be interference from other forces, so he couldn't get along, and in the end he had to go to a place where he sold his physical strength to earn money.
Qi Jiu didn't understand what happened after that, he had cut off contact with Duan Xiaoyu since that day, when Yang Xiao asked, he also used "had bad thoughts about himself" as an excuse, and turned it over in a few sentences.
As a result, today, when Qi Jiu was caught off guard and met Duan Xiaoyu again, he only felt a sense of sadness in his stomach.
And when the other party was thrown to the ground by his business boyfriend, Qi Jiu's heart became even more complicated.
Yan Shiqing seemed more embarrassed, the viciousness and brutality just now dissipated, and the most urgent thing to do was to hide his blood-stained hands behind his back.
He knocked lightly to ensure that his voice was still stable: "...Why are you here?"
Qi Jiu didn't answer, seeing Duan Xiaoyu's body twitch twice, Yan Shiqing quickly blocked his eyes before he could move.
Qi Jiu stood where he was, with compassion on his brows, but he didn't move forward.
Duan Xiaoyu was unable to get up, and regained consciousness in a hurry, and coughed for a long time on the ground limply. After noticing that Qi Jiu was standing in front of him, the strength in his whole body suddenly faded away.
He seemed to be a dead fish, staring for a long time without blinking, his eye sockets gradually turned red, and then he crawled towards Qi Jiu with both hands and feet in embarrassment.
"Qi Jiu, Xiao Jiu—my younger brother... my younger brother is gone." He said with tears streaming down his face, his voice sounded like a broken bellows, "My younger brother is dead."
"I can't save him, I can't save him, I watched him walk in front of me." He wailed loudly, thumping the ground helplessly, miserable and ridiculous, "I have nothing left."
"I have nothing, nothing."
There's nothing left.
He's actually lying, he still has.
He also has two Transformers left to him by his younger brother.
Before he died, the younger brother was still asking why Brother Xiaojiu never came again.
The younger brother also said that in the future, only the older brother and Xiao Jiu can play, and then Xiao Jiu will be the Bumblebee and the older brother will be the Megatron.
He said that my brother should not quarrel with Xiao Jiu, and my brother should not bully Xiao Jiu.
He's lying, he still has.The bright yellow umbrella is still there, in the drawer beside his bed.
The 1 yuan Qi Jiu gave him at the beginning is still there, and he has been hiding it in the umbrella case, and he is not willing to use it.
It's just that in the beautiful fantasy that Duan Xiaoyu once dreamed of, none of his wishes came true.
Healthy younger brother, bright future, happy life, gentle Qi Jiu.
not a single one.
He stretched out his hand at this moment, his eyes were sad and sore.
He wanted to take back what he said out of jealousy, to make up for his original mistakes, to do what he hadn't done before, to hug and comfort that child-like confused and sad Qi Jiu.
He failed, and Yan Shiqing stepped on his hand fiercely in front of him.
pat.
The last bubble also finally burst.
Qi Jiu knelt down slowly in front of him, and gave him his business card: "If you need anything, you can contact my new assistant, she will give you some help for me."
He finally gave a smile, but it was very stingy, with a bitter taste on the corners of his brows and lips: "My brother's matter... please forgive me."
He seemed to have something to say, but he pursed his lips tightly and swallowed all the words in his throat.
He didn't even give any courtesy, didn't even say goodbye, after staring at him deeply, he let Duan Xiaoyu disappear into his own world silently.
In the end, he just pulled Yan Shiqing and left here.
Just like he was with Yang Guang back then, he was decisive and ruthless.
Qi Jiu closed his eyes, feeling dry and dry, and wanted to cry as soon as he closed his eyes, which should be physical tears.
But he buried his head forward, preferring to blur his vision with tears, rather than looking back again.